The Hermit Club

Lily55

no never

Jazzygirl

Lilly- I am really concerned for you. I am sorry you are hurting so badly. You are more than just your lady parts, you are a human being, a woman who deserves to feel whole and happy again. 

I agree with Teka, you need more than here to help you through this. We will be here, but you need to talk to someone. A priest, minister, a psychologist, social worker, etc. Please do this now, and don't go into your next surgery feeling like this. We care about you.

Teka

Lily55

there are none herei am not catholic and anyway they dont offer any emotional support, i have a therapist but we only meet on skype as there are none of those here either! But talking doesnt change anything just makesme  lonelier and time does not go backwards, i have no joie de vivre, none.........

OncoWarrior

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magdalene51

Lily, as someone who dealt with chronic suicidal depression from my teens into my 30's I understand what the black pit is like. Although it's been a long time since then, the memory is still vivid. I came to realize that depression of that kind is a coping mechanism, a kind of addiction that takes over your thoughts and steers them into dark places. All of the suggestions to find someone to talk to are good, and if there were someone, that would be great. But in the end you are the only one who can change you. That you have reached out to us tells me that you don't really want to go down that path. If that is the case, and there is truly no one who can help you where you are, then you must be proactive in pulling yourself out of the pit. I know that you can do it, because I did. Don't wait for a doctor to ask you if you're depressed, tell him you are. Don't keep this bottled up. Whatever doctor is treating you, make sure that they are listening. Don't let it slide and become a cycle of blackness. You have the power to change this. Take control.

We are always here to listen, but you need to reach out, where you are.

SallyS70

Lily, keep talking to us.  Can you tell your doctor about your feelings?  We care about you.  Are you eating reasonably well?

SallyS70

Teka, you mention a busy week end.  Are you partying or beaching or having out of town guests?  Whatever you are doing, have a good time.

blondiex46

Lily Hugs....thinking of you, wish I could help, keep coming here...we are here for you

HAPPY LABOR DAY WEEKEND....

what are you all doing...

Me nothing....going back on the prendasone on sunday, slept til 2 today think I went to sleep about 3.....

ordered a pizza from pizza hut, going to lay down after I get a shower, want to smell all nice and crisp...for no one in particular...just me....

SallyS70

Hi Blondie ... you sound good ... pizza and a shower ... great way to celebrate some sleep.  I have no plans for the week end but am okay with that.  I will, and do, enjoy reports from others.

Teka

Tomorrow just staying home, cooking dinner and baking a batch of walnut brownies!

Teka

*Hermits*

Jazzygirl

blondiex46

Thanks jazzy 4 schoolin me...brownies, send some over, use the drone if u have to plz

johnboy88

Blondiex46'0, when your cancer mets to other organs, lungs, hips, etc, did you feel it?  Was there pain?  I swear my IDC has mets to those areas and am terrified!  What treatments did you have?  Are they working?  Were you taken off chemo becauseit helped or because it did not help?  Any advice would be helpful.  Thanks!

Jazzygirl

A bit of NM culture, last night Santa Fe did there annual burning of Zozobra (otherwise known as Old Man Gloom). It is a symbolic ritual for burning away all your problems or worries at the end of the summer season. Been happening since the 1920's and draws a huge crowd. I have yet to go to this (thought about going this year since I am on break from my work right now), but not something I could pull off with the reno work and all that is to be done here at the house right now. So I have been just enjoying the picture of the event last night and hearing from friends who went.

Here is how it looks starting out and then I will find a good picture of it burning. 

Jazzygirl

Here is a photo of it burning. Ten thousand plus people turn out for this event!

Teka

johnboy88,

I clicked on your Avatar, and read your public posts on other threads.

Maybe, you should take a time out from the threads until after seeing the surgeon!

*Hugs*

Teka

Jazzy,

If only we could burn all our problems or worries away!

SallyS70

Good morning all.  

The luncheon picture looks like a good time was being had by all.  Thanks for sharing.

Jazzy, I like the symbolism of burning our worries.  

Teka, I love brownies and sundaes with a brownie base.

SallyS70

Sorry Hermits ... the luncheon picture reference was from another thread.  I thought I was "off" this morning ... now I know I am.  I will take my walk ... that usually wiggles the brain cells into place.

Teka

OncoWarrior

Jazzy, is that the origin of what they call "The Burning Man"?  I had read something about an annual Burning Man event in the desert and remember wondering about you going to it.  

Thanks, Sally, for clearing that up.  I was scrolling back and back looking for the picture!

I think it is is good idea to burn away our problems, worries and gloom. 

 They do it in Colorado legally now.

OncoWarrior

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Jazzygirl

Onco- not sure, but I am familiar with Burning Man and think it is the same concept, just a different state. Burning Man appears to be a newer thing, and is a week long festival. They are both mention in the wiki on Burning Man, so my guess is Nevada did copy us! 

There are all kinds of interesting things that go on out here in the fall, starting this weekend. Harvest dances on the pueblos (some public, got invited in once to a private one by a woman who was from one of the area pueblos). State fair begins soon, and of course, the big balloon fiesta in October.

camillegal

Hi hermmies I

'm still in I got to get it fixed mode--But I had to pop in. I miss u guys--I love all the pics and Jazzy u'r floor is beautiful especially the blue bows/ U gals with the green thumbs are so talentd, I don't think u realize it's not easy growing things (well except my body) I never could, even tho my Dad always tried to teach me.

Johnboy are u new--cuz I can't keep up--If u are welcome but don't borrow trouble just take it one day at a time. I never think what next? I think WHAT NEXT? It's attitude. LOL

Lily I hurt for u and agree with Mags, but I don't know if I read everything---u have to tell u'r dr. how bad u feel in detail--There are so many meds u can take that can help u, this could also be about inbalance of brain matters too, so u can't help it so much that's why u take meds, at last til u get thru this. Lily altho everything in magazines and on TV look as if our world is defined by how we look--it has nothing to do with it. Oh I'd like to be beautiful, and have a great (no even good) body but we are what we are and embrace u'rself whatever u look like it's u'r heart and soul that matter always Tho cancer steals a lot it can't take that. But u still have to talk to u'r Dr.

Blondie I hope u'r feeling better today--I think of u often, u know that tho.

Teka u always make me smile---u crack me up girl.

Jazzy those were good points for the newbies and now I can not remember who said they were feeling bad a lot now with all the Drs. stuff---Sometimes it's after shock and it hits u lter---I did cry one time thru all of this and that was when my Dr. said OK u'r going to rads next---not because of rads, I was just going to miss her I saw her every week for almost 2 years and we hugged and walked holding hands and I just loved her and she looked st me and said what should I do I never saw u cry, and I said I don't know I never did. so we started laughing, of course everyone here knows I'm off a little..

OK my compt. acting up so I have to sign off for now. Keep u'r chin up, in my case chins and don't wlk in the rain with u'r  chin tofar back or u'll drown.

xxxoooxxx.

Jazzygirl

Cami- you made a good point to the newbies about when you get released from one phase of treatment to the next or even at the end. I remember after I came out of radiation treatment, got started on the AIs and then my BS and MO said "see you six months." I felt like I was thrown out in to the ocean without a life raft. I was unprepared for that feeling too. 

OncoWarrior

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Lily55

surgery tomo, still feeling flatter than flat, beyond fed enough, worn out, sick of drugs that make me feel old......no hope of normal life with normal energy......remember that? Pity party but seriously had enoughhhhh

magdalene51

Hi Hermies. I've actually been out of the house twice this weekend, first time since chemo 3. Very weak. Cousin took me to get a mani-pedi yesterday with our nail techs who are some of my favorite people. Today DH took us to Red Lobster for a late lunch/early dinner. I drank two glasses of peach tea and had something called a Bar Harbor Lobster Bake: lobster tail, scallops, shrimp, on a bed of fettuccine. I wore my wig, first time in public, and when we got out of the car, the wind was blowing and I thought it was going to get blown right off my head. I managed to keep it on and not fuss with it too much. Had DH take a pic, thought I would share it with you.

I have chemo round #4 Tuesday. Already dreading it.