The Hermit Club

cvmarilyn

Thank you for being there and the hugs.  I felt them.  Why is it that I feel I wouldn't be polite by telling them that it's not helpful to me to hear about these "fabulous" trips when they are the ones being thoughtless.

Did you see the Loan Ranger Jazzy?  I loved it. Too bad it got such bad reviews...

I will be OK - I am a tough cookie - but even tough cookies crumble sometimes.

Jazzygirl

CV- I know exactly what you mean about not being able to say anything at the moment. I have been caught off guard by people when they have said things to me, and I have been stunned into silence with their sensitivity. Only later to ponder how I will respond next time.

I have one friend who likes to query and judge on my recovery, and after an incident earlier this year, I won't go there with her when she asks if I am "all better now." Another friend who acts holier than than thou that she is doing everything right and won't get cancer. Now what I will say is both these people have issues with their social skills anyways, so what they say and do has a lot more to do about them than me. I have learned to keep my distance vs. listening to their opinions and judgements. A lot of people just don't get it.

I ran out of steam yesterday, but may go to today or sometime this week to see the Lone Ranger. I have made getting more exercise a priority beginning this weekend so getting to the gym every day as part of my daily ritual, but has also left me a bit tired at the end of the day! Trying to continue on the path to recovery and also loose some weight.

Tomorrow is the 6 month mammo and ultrasound post treatment in preparation for my trip to AZ the following week. I have had a fair amount of anxiety about this, but now am more at peace with it. After thinking about everything I went through last year (breast cancer and so much more), I realize how strong I am and no matter what, I can handle it. 

Hoping everyone has a nice Labor Day and ending to the 3 day weekend and good luck to the teachers and the folks with little ones going back to school this week!

cvmarilyn

I had my first mamo post teatment in May.  I just wanted to get it over with.  The tech said have a nice summer when I left so I thought everything's good.  I got a call shortly after to come back - they wanted to check something. Fell APART. Next I hear it was the right breast - felt huge relief because it was probably scar tissue. And it was. I am only tellilng you this because in case they want to f/u don't stress.  You have done it - and IT is GONE   keep me posted on how it goes.

You are right about people's social skills - or lack thereof  I am continually astounded by some of my "friends" - I just want to keep my distance too. Which is sad - but I honestly don't think that telling them will do anything - darn.

Jazzygirl

CV- thanks for that feedback on the mammo and how to handle any follow up calls. I have heard similar stories from other women about things showing up that are not cancer. I had internal radiation, and was advised going through that it can result in something called "fat necrosis" that can sometimes look like cancer, but is just a result of some of the good cells being zapped and degrading along with any residual cancer that may be lurking. I really appreciate your insight from your own experience.

And it is good to be realistic about people too. I got some great advice years ago from an eldercare counselor when my mom first got sick. It is probably the most valuable advice I got from my time with her. She said "when you are going through a difficult time, people just need to show up and be there for you. It is not about them, but a time when it is about you. But know not everyone can or will support you in the ways you need, and sometimes we have to move folks to the periphery, at least for a time." 

Crock pot of green chili pueblo stew with fresh green chilis from the farmers market now simmering....

Teka

What time do we eat?

Jazzygirl

Teka- oh I wish I could send you all a hot dish of the green chili stew! It is from one of our well known chefs here, Jane Butel, and been a staple in my recipe file for years. I don't cook a whole lot living alone, but love to make this when the chilis are fresh from the farms as they are right now! 

It smells delicious in this house right about now. Got another hour or two of simmering to go....

Teka

Thanks, make me drool.

They at least kept you in the loop about possible "fat necrosis", but tomorrow nothing less then excellent mammogram & ultrasound results!

camillegal

Jazzy I'm sure it will go well, just keep in mind there are more call backs then u realize for nothing. And I want to have some stew too but mine has to be with biscuts (sp)

Since I've been home I haven't left my room unless to go to the bathroom--Ugh to tired and just don't feel like it. So I'm floopy again. See my Dr. next week going to ask about a B shot or something. Oh well.

Hope everyone enjoyed the week-end

Jazzygirl

Cami- sounds like your energy is down. I have days like that too, more often than I would like to admit. Hope you can get a B shot to help. Besides, it's Labor Day and no laboring today, right?

The stew was delicious and I had not one but TWO bowls full. Topped it with asiago cheese which makes it even that much more yummy. I like the idea of serving it with biscuits too!

Thanks to everyone for the words of encouragement about tomorrow. Although I have had call backs in the past, pre- bc, I know it's a different world now. I used to think "I hope the films are clear and no concerns." No I think "I hope it's not back." Women will always hold their breathe when going through these tests.

Cleaning the house today- dust bunnies be gone!

Teka

OK, rub it in!

Skittle

  Dust bunny convention here. Jazzy, Hope all goes well tomorrow.  Camille, Hope you get some of that energy back.  Markat, Good luck with school and the girls' new freedom w/o uniforms!  Happy long weekend, all.  (And I enjoyed the Lone Ranger, too, in spite of the reviews.  Some of it was slow, but I think it was more serious than slapstick, which caught a lot of Jack Sparrow fans off-guard.)   Hugs to all.

cvmarilyn

Please send the stew recipe!!!! It sounds wonderful.  Good luck tomorrow!

Jazzygirl

CV- here you go. If you don't live in a place where you can get fresh green chilis, I think you can buy them canned in the store or perhaps on line.

http://www.food.com/recipe/pueblo-green-chile-stew-5424

It is delicious and filling and freezes well too.

Teka

Thank You for the recipe!

Spookiesmom

Yum looks good! But what or how do you parch a green chilli?

Jazzygirl

Spookie- good question! I just took my bag of roasted chilis, peeled them and diced them up. Never heard of parching but suspected it may be another way of saying "roasting." Here is another link from Jane Butels world and it sounds parching them is the way of roasting them inside the oven.

http://www.cookstr.com/recipes/parching-green-chiles

Here in NM, there are tons of chilis around August into Sept and plenty of places to roast them. Many people buy huge bags of them, get them roasted, then dice them up and freeze them. I just buy them in smaller quantities. When I went to the farmers market last week, I got them freshly roasted and in a large ziploc bag. My car smelled like green chili all the way home! 

The green chili stew today was probably the best I ever made. I took some over to my neighbor and she was most happy!

Jazzygirl

Spookiesmom

I've never been much of a cook and that was a new term to me. Interesting. Our farmers markets will start in a few months, I'm distrustful of produce that's been baking in the sun here though.

Teka

Sweet Dreams!!

camillegal

Good Morning all--Am I the first one on today?--u Busy people.

Jazzy I love that picture--It's really a huggy pic. (((HUGS)))

Well I took a shower and my aroma is bergamont (sp) nice soft aroma.  Of course I get all tired out hahaaha but I smell good.

lizlori

Good Morning All,

Is a beautiful morning here, cool but sunny. Typical early fall day.  Yesterday I planted some perennials and replanted some day lillies.  I can't believe how much I enjoy playing in the dirt..... I only wished I would of done this earlier in the summer, because it takes my mind off gloom and doom.  Both of my daughters had their heart broke, and have been calling me sobbing.  I wished I could take their pain away, but unfortunatly this is part of life...times like this, i wished I lived close to them.

Today I have a phone appointment with one of my Docs...regarding cognitive tests. I am nervous....what will be will be....just going to have a good day, maybe do some baking.Have a good day everyone.

Jazzygirl

To all- trip to the breast imaging center went well. Lots of films on both sides and ultrasound of boobs and lymph nodes too.

The radiologist came in to tell me right away everything looked good! Whew!

More later but just wanted you to all know!

Teka

Lori1020,

Surgery end of October?

I wish all my doctor appointments were over the phone.

I'm thinking excellent results!

Teka

Jazzygirl,

camillegal

Jazzy YYAAAYYY I'm glad they said that. whew is right

Now wait a minute, how do u know surgery is end of October and what surgery--I missed something here. (as usual)---'splain lori

Lily55

Great news Jazzy! Cami - what a struggle? I hate it when doctors ignore the obvious connections........



Who is having surgery?

lizlori

Sometimes when I read this thread, I smile. Cami, I love how u write, almost like you are talking. Teka thanks for the vote of confidence, u r kind plain and simple.   Who hoo Jazy, glad u got good news.

Sugery is the reconstructive surgery, I will get rid of the expanders and get some silicone implants. Jese these things feel like rocks.. Although nipples will be put on later, as well as the aerola part. Sorry if thats t.m.i.   Funny thing is I forgot I had even mentioned that on this thread Teka.

twenty minutes to go until the Doc calls...god I don't know why I am nervous...I have been through worse than this, for crying out loud...

camillegal

OK Lily we're up on the news.

Lori that's sounds good right, I understand that expanders are not comfortable (I'm concave) So start the foobs in Oct. sounding good. Lori do u get implants right away or is this little by little? There's so many ways now I still don't have them straight.

lizlori

Back again,

The neuro psych Doc, said overall I am normal with slight impairments with spacial perception. He says I am typical of many women who go through chemo.  He believes my profound struggles have to do with mood and anxiety disorders.  When someone has extreme anxiety, it causes the brain to work the way it should; memory is bad, scatter thoughts, inability to learn.   He feels the issue with the job, on top of cancer diagnosis,sent me into a downward path.   I asked him if his testing is accurate, and also asked him if he is being completly honest with me....he said yes to both.   I told him I am shocked by the good news, because my struggles have just been pretty extreme.

So the moral of my story is, mood, stress, anxiety has created havoc on my mind and spirit....makes me even more determined to work hard at getting better, because being in a bad state of mind can't be good for fighting cancer....

Cognitive therapy starts thursday...........

On a different note.....Blondie, I am thinking about you, and hope you are having some enjoyment with your kitty....Hugs to you sista..... 

Teka

I remember as a young adult being told by Dad "don't let your nerves get the best of you".  

He hit the nail on the head!