Here's what cheezed me off today

Anonymous

Rocky, I'm still laughng. You would have been justified if you had gotten off the machine and said in your best Yoda voice "Raidiated I am, Firefly I am." I know they probably told you to rub your booby with that axle grease stuff but I found that Bio oil was better. Less messy, non-staining, more soothing and it makes your scars much lighter. Hope things are getting better for you.

phyl, sometimes it's hard to grit your teeth when people say stupid things. I used to visualize these people without their lobotomy scars!

Rockym

phgraham, definitely NOT a vendetta.  Doctors, nurses and PAs need to be extra sensitive about how they talk to the patients.  What if you ended up breaking down and crying right there because of some little twit.  Yes, I think it's important to let your patient advocate know.  That's what they are there for.  It may not help with your experience (although it feels good to get it off your chest - no pun intended) :-), but it may help someone else in the future.

mommy4

Ok I love reading hey good to know we are here to read. Yes yes,people need to think before speaking. Happy new year.

9911

RockyM ~ Can't wait to hear tomorrow's special music!  During my radiation, I remember just thinking about the 12+" thick door ... hey, you are on the other side? Hey, those plants behind the picture window are fake ... we are in the basement of the hospital. I started counting ceiling tiles after awhile. My appointments were all at 9am ... while driving to the hospital ... the radio played "I Can See Clearly Now" by Johnny Nash alot. Even today, if I hear that song ... it takes me right back to radiation.

rohanna ~  I'm using Bio oil now on my scars. I have a LARGE circle scar on both breast and a LONG hip to hip tummy scar. It looks like Jack Skellington's face on my body. I have been using it for about a month. 

phgraham ~ Being a TN .. we don't get "Better Living Through Chemistry" after chemo/rad. We have nothing. It's good and bad. Good ... once we are done ... that's it. We only have follow-up appointments. You are free to continue life. Bad ... WTH! ... you are suppost to figure out yourself if you think the cancer is back or not. Yeah, both time .... my MOs said ... if you feel something is not right ... come and see me.

Well, last year ... I found a lump and saw my GYN first, my BS second, did the surgery .. then saw my MO. Was he surprise after 12 years of telling me everything looks good! Anyway, I let him go and got another MO. Not like my treatment was going to to different, they all use the same algorithm. I just didn't want to have him as my MO anymore ... stick a fork in me ... I'm done.

 Nipless ... CHEEZ ON!!!!!

Anonymous

I cheezed off a TSA agent at the airport this afternoon.  I went through the security line and was already a little cranky from being bumped around by the lady in front of me.  I had on a cotton stocking cap with a felt cloche over it (because it is snowing in Denver.)  She asked me to take off my hat so I said, both of them?  She said "No, no."  Then she saw the stocking cap and asked if she could pat it down.  Rather than say "no I don't want your grubby gloves on my head"  I took off the cap.  She was pretty upset - more upset than me- and said "You did NOT have to take that off!".  However, we had already had that conversation so I just moved on.  I suppose if I had been nicer I could have said I was happy for the coolness after the hot hats, but I wasnt and i didn't! 

Reality

I read the "Breaking News" from moderators today, concerning heart damage and rads. How nice that none of my health profs warned me about left side radiation and increased heart damage - that cheezed me off! But it's ok, as it has made me realize, more than ever, that we all have to be proactive - especially TN's as after treatment all we have is, as "they" call it, "the wait and see approach" - WTH? wait and see if the other shoe drops? Not me - I just wrote my Gyn a letter in prep for an upcoming yearly exam - Due to the aggressive behavior of my cancer and my "incomplete response" to chemo, I am seriously considering a preventive oophorectomy - why not get those darn ovaries out? I already had a hyster years ago and wish they had taken the darn things then. I don't know - it just seems like a proactive step to take. I realize I cannot remove all the parts that "may" get cancer, but the ovaries seem like a good place to start! 

Rockym

Anandagram, just wanted to pop in here and give you this video link that describes IMRT.  This is the newest technology in radiation.  By using this machine, the radiation is targeted directly at the tumor area and little to no radiation hits the heart and lungs (depending on where your original mass was).

The "Breaking News" article talks about radiation techniques that were used many years ago.  My cancer was also on my left side, but this technology gives me a lot of comfort.

http://video.about.com/lymphoma/IMRT.htm

Hope this helps with your cheezness :-)!

Reality

Rockym - thanks so much for taking the time to help! Whew - I definitely feel better. I often feel guilty about what I have allowed to be done to my body in treatment. I have almost always been good to my body - (some drinking in early 20's - not for long, though, as I hated it), so giving it poisionous chemicals and radiation has really been heart-wrenching for me, as I can imagine it has been for all of us. 

Sher 

tracie23

ftblmom3, MEN SUCK !!!!

Rockym

Sher, I feel the same way.  I have been healthy all my life.  Did some experimentation when I was in my late teens, but now I only drink occasionally.  I was a vegetarian for many years (before kids) and have remained fit.  My medicine cabinet had a bottle of fish oil, multi-vitamins and Advil.  I probably saw my GP once every 2 to 3 years.

It is heart-wrenching.  Between the surgery, chemo, rads and all the steroids and other pills it DEFINITELY STINKS!

sas-schatzi

Hi everyone havn't posted in awhile, but just want to get this one off my chest. The "you look great comment" Well dammit I do, that's what so frigging frustrating, I lost 53 lbs-----23lbs with my BC and 30 lbs with my Dh's lymphoma. Hair----i said for 10 years I was having a bad hair decade. I was in the color of the month club. But ever since I started coloring it, it never looked -healthy. I let it go totally gray before BC, but allot of people hadn't seen me. Well after it grew in ----lo and behold it grew back all these wonderful colors of grey, silver, black,white. A colorist could never recreate it. Since it was short I had to keep it well cut. Before I kept it long , in a blunt cut no bangs>>then added bangs. But what it has been since regrowth has been amazing , plus the weight loss. So yeah I look better from head to toe than I have in ten to twelve years. But each time somethings said----it reminds me of the last three years of hell and lost DH. It's a strange thought.-------strange feelings. Thanks for letting me vent. I know you get it.

Reality

sas - I do get it and my heart goes out to you. So sorry for your loss! 

I also connect with the "you look great comment" - I have also lost weight and I really like the wonderful combiniation of grey,silver, black and white of my new hair. I just finished rads, though, and know that I do not "look great" - dark cirlces under my eyes and exhausted - I would rather people just say, "Hi Sher, how are you?" 

Reality

The "Breaking News" banner is cheezing me off. The actual banner is not what's doing it, but the info in the article - My rad machine is 17 years old - I do not know if that is old for a rad machine, but it broke down at least once, every two weeks and I cannot imagine it is state of the art. In addition, I was never warned about left-side radiation - not even once, by my rad onc or his nurses.I could just kick myself for not asking more questions. My rad center was one hour from my rural, mountain town. I should have traveled the two hours, plus ferry ride, to the next closest center that has more updated equipment. Oh well, should-have-could-have - too late for that. I will hope for the best and demand a post treatment heart exam.....

SheChirple

Silly thing cheezed me today.  I had to take my 14 y/o daughter shopping for new bras as she is going back to school Monday.  Well, crap, between her growing up and my BMX with TE's in the middle of fills, she is wearing a bigger BRA SIZE than me!! Holy crap.  My husband wants to buy a shot gun!

Reality

SheChirlp-your post reminded me of a cheezed-off incident I had last week - I offered to return an on line purchase to a Victoria Secret store that is near my rad center (one hour from our home). I should have just let her return it by mail - Why in the world did I think I could handle that store at this time in my life? I have no hair, sunken, dark-circled eyes, and a very deformed left breast - oh sure, why not go to V.S. As soon as I entered the store I became dizzy - there were floor to ceiling posters of gigantic, pushed-up boobs on beautiful long-haired models - there were bras, everywhere as they were having a big sale. Peppy, young, pushed=up boobs sales clerks were pushing the latest bargains. I almost had to leave, but focused my attention on a cute little boy in a stroller in the line. I started playing with him and managed to get through the line and get out.  Whew - No more VS for me.....

Reality

...the "her" I refer to is my daughter. I did not share the experience to her, but when I returned home, she apologized for letting me go to VS - She said she did not think about how hard it may be until I was on my way, in a dead-phone zone - we live in the mountains.

Rockym

sas, yes we get it.  I think there are many of us who "cleaned up" a bit after the BS dx.  At first it feels nice when you get compliments, but after a while I know I just smile and say thanks.  My wig is what people usually talk about most only most of them don't know it's a wig.  I've been asked where I get my hair cut, what salon does my streaks, etc.  It used to make me feel good and lift my spirits.  Now it's just a reminder that I don't have my hair, I'm in treatment for BC, etc.

Sher, I do hope they get rid of that news on rads soon.  That must be a crappy feeling.

Rockym

So.... here I am looking at a freshly opened bag of sanitary napkins from 3 months ago with only 3 missing from the package, an industrial size box of tampons from Costco and 2 boxes of panty liners thinking.... WTF am I going to do with all this shit!

I hate to waste so there I am thinking... if I cut a panty liner into 3 pieces then I could use them as makeup remover pads.  Tampons can be used for blending eye makeup once you pull them out and soften them up a bit.  But the overnight pads are probably just to big to do anything with :-).

Oh screw it altogether... I'm giving all these products to the women's shelter where I donate travel shampoos and soap (that's actually my plan).  Isn't early menopause fun???!!!

pickle

I read this thread but have never posted here...today I decided that nothing...and i mean nothing would cheez me off...so far so good but the day's not quite over yet and I am trying my darndest to ignore my DH's snoring....lol...If I post agin shortly it will be because I cracked...for now I am biting my lip.

Reality

Welcome, pickle - This really is a great thread - lots of support, sometimes tears, but many laughs, also. Darn snoring - best wishes, 

Sher 

NancyD

Rockym - save those overnight pads. Bladder leakage comes with age and they are more discreet than buying Poise pads.

Had another run-in with the same friend that "outed" me to a stranger. I haven't seen her much since I moved last Spring so I thought I could handle dinner with her this weekend.

During dinner she told me about a Christmas party that another friend had thrown. I had not been invited, but that didn't bother me until she mentioned that most of our other friends had been there. And she went on about a male friend's wife who up to recently had been very stand-offish to our group which consisted of people who had gone to high school together. The fact that this male friend was an old high school boyfriend of mine was not missed by her, and she harped on that, intimating that I had not been invited so the wife would feel comfortable attending.

Really?  It was so junior-high. We graduated from high school over forty years ago. I have NO designs on the old boyfriend. I do consider him a friend-friend, however, and don't know where to take this feeling that either my erstwhile female friend is trying to create some drama or push me out of the social circle.

It also doesn't help that this female friend's memory for things is slipping and she told the same story three times in one night before I finally cracked and said, "You've told me this already." I swear, if she starts in on the same story the next time I see her, I'm going to come right out and say, "What is the point here? I don't see what concern it is of mine that XX's wife has finally come out of her self-imposed shell and is attending social things with XX. Unless, of course, it means that now I'm ostracized because forty-five years ago I dated XX. If that's the case, good riddance to all of you for your junior-high attitudes."

And then I will need to look around for some new friends.

scuttlers

Maybe a strongly emphasized "I DON'T CARE!" would shut her up.

Anonymous

NancyD, your "outing" friend is a passive/aggressive bitch. She's trying to make you feel like an outsider so don't let her do it. Take your great big BC bu*#+&it eraser and void her from your life. Then tell people when they ask you if you've seen her that you've lost 165 unwanted pounds. (Or however much the heifer weighs.)

Rocky, early menopause. Another kick in the tits! Thanks so much, Father Time. My cheezer today? I got a card inviting me to visit the new maternity ward at a local hospital and talk to someone about considering having my next child there! Honey, if I get pregnant, I'm contacting CNN and selling the story/pictures to the National Enquirer!!!!!

Man! I'm cranky tonight! Need chocolate! 

CHEEZ ON!!!!!!

Anonymous

And today, I got a letter telling me I have yet another Onc. That's 3 in less than a year. Just when I get comfortable with one onc., I'm switched to another one. The first left to work in research and the other transferred to another department. Do I have B.O.? *sigh*

Anonymous

rohanna, You're my hero.  Sorry you have to have a 3rd onc.  Want me to call him and tell him not to cheeze you off?  I can do it!

 Phyllis

Blessings2011

So a year ago, my sweet DH got diagnosed with serious kidney disease and was put on massive doses of steroids that destroyed his immune system. He must wear a surgical mask whenever he's out in public, as a random infection could make him very sick.

I got my BC dx in September, but before I could have my BMX, I got deathly ill with an upper respiratory infection/flu/pneumonia/asthma. I finally had my surgery on December 5th, and on the advice of my PCP, I too wear a surgical mask in public - ESPECIALLY at the hospital where we go for appointments.

A few weeks after my surgery, we went to the Physical Therapy department for a "Post Mastectomy/Lymphedema" class. (Huge waste of time, whole 'nuther story.) DH and I were sitting side-by-side in the waiting room, wearing our lovely matching surgical masks.

A Physical Therapist came out of the back office and into the waiting room to call her patient, who was sitting a few chairs down from us. She waited until the lady stood up, then looked at us and told her "Let's get you away from THOSE people!" and out they walked.

I was stunned. The room was packed, and I think I yelled "HOW RUDE!!!" I explained to the other patients why we were wearing masks, and they all agreed how horrible that PT had been.

I went to the front desk to ask her name, but no one saw her walk by. I described her, and a few minutes later she came back in. The receptionist pointed at us and said we wanted to speak to her.

I asked her if she were the one who was so worried about the fact that we were wearing masks....and if she were...let me explain. I explained about kidney disease, breast cancer, recent BMX, and said we were trying to protect ourselves from people like HER.

She apologized and said she didn't mean anything by it. I told her it meant a whole lot, and unfortunately said more about HER than anything else. I said it was very hurtful, considering what we had been through lately.

After I was called into the class, my husband was waiting for me outside in the hallway, having been made to feel like a leper in the waiting room.

The same PT approached him and apologized again. His response to her was "I expect ignorance and insensitivity out in public, but not from a medical staff person in a hospital. What you did was completely unprofessional."

We didn't make a formal complaint, but we've thought about it.

p.s. DH is now on the mend, and so am I!

sas-schatzi

Blessings. I so agree with you they treated you horribly. Cluck'em The injuries mentally caused by that should  be known. Damn them. You were in reverse isolation----which means you were trying to be protected from everyone elses bugs/bacteria.  Clucke'em again. I hate , I hate medical stupidity.

Anonymous

Phyllis, if he starts to cheez me off, I'm going to put my hand on my hip, get up in his grill and say, "Don't make me call Phyllis in here!" He'd better be on his BEST behavior! Thanks, I feel better but I'll be sure to wear clinical strength deoderant to my appointment just in case.

Blessings, it might not be a bad idea to make a formal complaint. She's supposed to know better. And maybe it will make the rest of the staff more aware of what they say. I commend you for not b*#&^slapping her.

Reality

good a.m. - please bear with me when you see this on other threads - I am so cheezed off about this one - ok - Whose body is it? Oh yes, in spite of all the med profs acting like it is theirs - IT IS MINE!!! I left a message for the recep @ rads to let her know my skin is great - as it has been all through treatment, so I would not be going in for a final skin check. 

She just left me a voicemail stating that I HAVE to see RO for final check as he is responsible for me. She stated that I HAVE to see him before the 26th. 

HAVE TOO???? or what?  What will my consequence be? What will they do to me? Now I will definitely not go back there.

thanks for listening to my rant!  

Reality

....sorry to rant on - just so upset by the RO's office power trip - I already signed a release form that lets him off the hook if anything goes wrong, but will gladly sign another. It's just an emotional issue for me now. I am doing well and honestly cannot bear to see a doctor right now. I would never go back to the rad center I went to even if I ever have to have rads, so I do not care what they think of me. They always said I was one of their most cooperative patients ever. I never complained about two and even three hours waits in the waiting room - or even cancellations after I drove an hour to rads - I even tried to keep the others in the waiting room in good spirits as they often waited for hours! I do not owe the RO a thing. My insurance, that sometimes sets their own rates, actually paid ever charge that the RO's center sent them! They are all paid up and I am done. whew! Can't believe how much they upset me. I know I just have to let it go -