Saw "Save the Tatas" & felt like crying

Anonymous

THAT Mindover is very spooky, THIS IS NOT A FREAK SHOW !!

duckyb1

Just wanted to make a small note before I leave this thread.........I have been told that I belitteled, and disrespected Stage 1V women with breast cancer.........If I have done this I apologize. At no time would I intentionally hurt anyone of you ladies

the fact that I have Stage 1 cancer does not guarantee me anything..........In this battle we never know where we will end up, so why would I belittle anyone who has reached that point of stage 1V...........I enjoyed being here with you ladies, but I will not return. and this is not a "Poor Me" comment, just what I think is best.

Lynn18 Would love to get together for some London Broil, but since we can't when I'm down my shore home this summer I will think about you "first bite"

Good luck ladies, and my prayers and hugs to you......your a great bunch of ladies...maybe we will see each other on another forum......

voraciousreader

When someone starts a thread, including myself, I would think the person has the ability, while reading comments to decide what responses speaks to them. Likewise, I think we all have enough wits about ourselves to know which comments we wish to ignore. The funny thing is what comments might speak to one person might be shrill and deafening to another. When I come on this board I have no expectations about what kind of viewpoints or information I will find here. Nor will I disparage anyone whom I disagree with. For me, the Internet permits me to be as involved in the exchange as much or as little as I like. And when someone has an opinion I don't like, it is very easy for me to ignore the person's comments. Finally, I want to come back to the folks who begin threads and say I will give them a lot of credit and believe they can ignore comments that don't resonate with them while appreciating those that do.

Anonymous

Okay, here's an explanation.  Bluedahlia is under the impression that I'm some kind of spy, which was never my intention.  You see, I have a blog that I began as therapy to deal with my breast cancer.  Since I was not doing treatment after my lumpectomy, I thought it would be beneficial to use laughter as medicine.  I've always put a bit of humor into anything I wrote.  Originally, I came to BCO to find support, but I found anything but that.  Whenever I turned a corner, I discovered an over abundance of jabs at one another because someone appeared to step on someones's toes.  There were misunderstandings galore, and I found it quite funny.  There was so much side-tracking that I became lost in the humor of it all.  Now, don't get your panties in a bunch, I'm by no means saying that breast cancer should be taken lightly.  But by golly, you had me lmao.  So, if anyone cares to check out my blog, please do.  There may be those who are offended.  Please remember that I am sharing this breast cancer journey with the rest of you.  How I choose to deal with it is my choice.

http://ohcrapitsbreastcancer.blogspot.com/

bluedahlia

Bluedahlia has a few other conclusions she has come to, but she will leave it to others to investigate themselves. 

JoanDavies

Apathy is worse than ignorance. I think that the awareness campaigns do a lot to address ignorance by educating people about "Whatever Cause." But for me, actually being diagnosed with BC has forced me to change my attitude. The more I educate myself to help stay healthy for as long as I can, the more I care about all the other women battling the same monster, and I'm more empathetic to others battling the myriad other monsters out there. So, even though I don't want to be "defined" by BC, if I can use my knowledge and even my job to knock other people off the apathy wagon, then I'm happy to be an ambassador for the cause. Having said that, I'm not into walks and bracelets; everyone has their own way of showing support. 

In 2009, a close co-worker was diagnosed with Stage V lung cancer (not a smoker, just one of those rare unlucky people). She was given two weeks to live. She did everything (the conventional, the alternative, the clean eating, the nasty Chinese tea)...and hung on for just over a year. The knife in my heart still twists when I think how incredible she was, her spirit and determination not to sit by and let it take her down. We got an extra year with her because of her diligence. We were so blessed.

And yet...I still didn't care about advocating for better cancer research or more local support or whatever. Until I got it too. Bam! Now I care. I wish I could have been a better friend to my co-worker, but apparently I had to walk in her shoes to come even a little bit closer to being a better person at all. If it's not too-little-too-late, I'm doing what I can in her memory...and being the selfish human that I am, I'm doing what I can for me.

Anjanita

Hi Joan.

That's an interesting observation.  I lost a dear friend to cancer when I was in my thirties and now, looking back, I realize I wasn't fully engaged.  And I probably couldn't have been with so little experience in losing people or having illnesses.

I really liked the point that Lisa and LR made about the effect of time on our outlook.  Sad and true.  What do they say?  "Too soon old, too late smart!"

rosemary-b

All I can say is this is verrrry interesting.

sueppy62

You ladies are ALL correct. It just depends on where you are in your DX. I agree I am not crazy about the TATA issues, but I also can not deal with these women who WRAP themselves in this BC fight, long after their  treatment has ended. Check out the SGK site some time, depressing!

lrr4993

lynn's post makes me want to clarify my comments.  I have absolutely no issue with people who are sad when they see a save the tatas ribbon because it is too late for them to save theirs.  Totally understandable.  I was lucky that my tumor was small enough and my tatas big enough that a lumpectomy was an option. I have healed beautifully (even my doctor is shocked) and if it were not for the hard lump of scar tissue, you would barely be able to notice I had surgery.  My SNB scar is a different story .  . . lol . . . not an area that heals to easy is it?  Anyway, I would be devestated and sad if I had to lose a breast and would never question that emotion.

I understood, perhaps mistakenly, that the original poster and others are talking about a sadness over a perceived trivialization of BC.  That is what I disagree with.  I don't think it is trivialized and, even if it is, I don't think it is worth being sad over.

Anjanita

Well, that's the deal for me, Lisa  And it IS because of time and experiences I've had in loss.

I've already fought a lot of battles over stuff which seems pretty trivial now to me.  The view is different depending on where you stand on the mountain.

These days it works best for me to save my energy for the big stuff.  But it's gratifying to see other people with energy carrying on.

Anonymous

Oky, own up to who snitched and reported me.  And for what reason?  Come on I dare you!

mspradley

I've been a member for over a year and a half and rarely post.  I thought this topic was most interesting because I did have a differing point of view from OP.  Sadly, most of the thread has been hijacked with useless arguing and bullying.  I really wish there was a sandbox in the forum so that those who want to argue can "take it outside" and leave the discussion to those who prefer dialogue over debate.

Dialogue = no correct answer, all opinions considered

Debate = argument from different sides, each considering themselves to have the only answer

BarbaraA

I totally get why OP cringed at the tata reference. I hate it, too. Only because I feel it trivializing what we all have to face. What more can I say? I had PTSD for several months and thanks to therapy I am better. Not great...better.

Mazy1959

Mindovermatter...It was not me and I do not know who did.

otter

I haven't reported anybody, lately -- although I can't say I haven't been tempted.  And, I always say I'm doing it and explain why, in a following post.  So, 'twasn't me (I?).

otter

Ang7

BarbaraA~

I totally agree...

Mazy1959

otter, I think thats a good idea to handle reporting like that. I will do the same if I ever have to again. I have reported a couple "cure" sellers, witch doctors, trolls etc etc. I only reported a BCO sister a couple years ago and I did tell the person I was going to do it and then told her after I did it. Hugs, Mazy

AnnNYC

No reporting by me... 

Enjoyful

I reported JB's "bitchy, whiny" statements and posted about that immediately (a few pages back).  I did not report any of yours, mindovermatter.

BarbaraA

Me either. If I do report, I post immediately and say I did and why.

bluedahlia

I never report posts.  Well I did once but that was because the person's nic was mocking mrmojorising, and I explained why I was reporting it.  Besides, you can use one of your other nics to post anyways!

Alpal

I thought we could see who reported posts now. Has that changed? If someone reports a post it shows as edited by them. Right? If I'd reported your post I would have said so immediately and told you why I did it. Which post do you think was reported? How do you know?

LtotheK

Lisa, Breast Cancer Action outlines the issues pretty clearly.  I don't agree with the implication here that the people who are interested in taking the discussion to a deeper level are whiners.  It's far too black and white a painting.  At minimum, this is interesting debate.  Essentially, the argument is that such superficial engagement with the disease actually erodes an activist stance on the disease.

Here are two awesome articles by leading intellectuals on this very issue:

http://bcaction.org/

http://www.barbaraehrenreich.com/cancerland.htm 

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/14/magazine/14FOB-wwln-t.html 

AnnNYC

Alpal, we could only see who reported for a few days....  Then that function was changed.

Interesting points, LtotheK -- thanks.

Bren-2007

It's too bad that function was removed.  I liked seeing who was reporting posts!

I haven't reported anyone .. and the few times I have, I very meticulously wrote a note explaining why to the poster.

Bren 

Wabbit

I don't see where mindovermatter has had any posts removed.  Perhaps somebody sent a PM to the mods instead?

As far as I know if you use the Report this Post button it still shows up as 'edited' by you.  Except for the 'spam' reports.

I prefer hashing it out here when we have disagreements.  Might be messy but at least we understand why somebody found something inappropriate.

Bren-2007

I haven't reported anyone on this thread.  Sorry for the confusion.  In fact, I can't remember the last time I reported a post.  I believe it was last year, and I quickly wrote a note to the poster explaining why I did it.

Bren

Enjoyful

I read it to mean - "I haven't reported anyone (in response to mindovermatter's question)."

Bren-2007

Thanks E .. no I haven't reported any of MOM's posts or JB's for that matter.  Like I said, it's been quite awhile since I reported a post.

Bren