INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

sas-schatzi

LMG, We're in the twilight zone.  We must look behind as well as forward. Otherwise, we will miss what should have been before, but came after.

luvmygoats

A friend is like an eagle; you don't find them flying in flocks. Well, except here.

luvmygoats

I guess my hint I should get up and clean. DH will be so pleased. See you later loonies.

sas-schatzi

Hi Spookie, the chair guy is now just going to do the whole rocker in powder coated semi satin black. It won't be as nice as the electroplated brass, but this way I might get the chair back. Bummer. The guy doing the upholstery here in Titusville is still alive thank god. The electroplater is so embarrassed that he isn't going to charge me anymore than the down payment which is 200$. What a mess.  Passing the tea, or would you like to try the bong?

Spookiesmom

puff puff pass!

I'm having trouble too Lil goats. Must be BCO?

luvmygoats

Wow how did you 2 post? I have several other threads open that are usually busy and Nada. Never had the maryjane. Maybe pass it my way. And if this ever changes pages you won't be able to get to it, maybe if your own personal post is on the new page.

Sassy - did you get rain today? Looked earlier and seemed FL was covered over. My poor Decorah IA eagles are getting thunderstormed on. Two fledged yest, just one lonely one left in nest.

How do you electroplate a rocker? I have a platform rocker that was my GGM - my DM had it refinished oh maybe 45 years ago - can't really remember when. It has some dings on feet. Prob. too exp. for me to even consider it. Impossible to find uphol. for it anyway. Used to sell "cricket sets" in Penney's catalog. It is very tiny. Mostly it holds the decorative bed pillows at night.

I think some iced tea sounds heavenly.

camillegal

Oh I don't know if this will post. Anyway Thanks Chevy I always wanted to know the anatomy of a little goat, now I know everything. They are so cute.

I've been up most of the nite and today I slept most of the day but I did answer my phones, didn't say the messages were right but at least they heard a real voice.

Oh I can't remember anything here but here goes---I loved that pic Susan so beautiful and that spa thing sounds so fun. My sister still melts down her lipsticks to make a new one too.

Tang U'R DONE YAAAAAAYYY and there is no telling what SE's chemo will do for anyone, so don't worry anything is normal.

2nd u'r sounding pretty good today.

Remember that really old saying (except I don't remember exactly how it goes) but something like How awful to leave the youth of today to be the leaders of tomorrow----And Socrates said it so oviously since the beginning of time the young uns have had an attitude but for the most part they do grow out of it.

Oh my brain is numb (shut up Chevy)

BBL 

 

FierceBluebird

I worry about everyone on here. I'm hoping everyone is just busy with their gardens or are out having summer fun. 

Hi Spookiesmom! Just be glad Spookie didn't ask for her own car.

Speaking of cars and daughters,  mine finally texted after not responding to calls or texts. She is starting a new job in July and wants "her" car. Of course it is a car I bought and is insured through me. I let her use it to go back and forth to college. Now that she's living at boyfriends house, it occurred to her that she has no transportation. Hubby says NO deal.  Having a car and parents to pay insurance was one of the perks of living at home. And of course living at home involves following rules which she wasn't doing. 

I feel bad because I know her acting out probably is part of being scared. And if she can't get to work, she'll lose her job. I texted back that we should sit down and talk about it and of course now the silent treatment again.

What say the owl gang? Feel free to chip in your 2 cents. Or is that a dollar by now with inflation?

Spookiesmom

FBB  I'm with your DH. If she wants to act like a big girl, let her figure out how. Maybe the bf's parents will "help"?

Anonymous

aw, thanks, Sassy! Having big BCO problems today, maybe I've reached my limits? Very strange. Going to try some retail therapy. Back later. 

Hours later: hmm, this never posted. 

Anonymous

tangandchris

I think BCO is having issues in general today....

 

 

sas-schatzi

I think it's sunspots or something. I was searching allot today and my computer was running very slow. Way different than normal. Tech buddy just gave it a tune up a couple of days ago.

Catch up in am L&H&P's everyone sassy---melatonin and Ativan kicked in

Anonymous

Well, am glad to see it's not just me. Very frustrating. A day without Insomniacs is like a day..... without sunshine...... or something like that?

PattyPeppermint

2nd -crazy  cat lady too funny.  People will spend money on anything - unbelievable 

Wren44

2nd, The instant I saw the crazy cat lady, I thought "that looks like Archie McPhee's" - and it was. Their store is a total hoot. It's full of intentionally funny things and odd things that people do funny things with. It takes about an hour to look through because you don't want to miss anything.

JWoo

omg i am so glad you mentioned that Wren- i am buy everything they have!

Chevyboy

MAN, I'm just glad everything is working again!  Cammi, I saw you said something on the last page, about 

"And Socrates said it so "oviously" since the beginning of time the young uns have had an attitude but for the most part they do grow out of it."

This is for me and you Cammi!    Ha, ha! 

Well, sounds like normal behavior to me.... but what do I know...

Fierce....Having had TWO teenage Daughter's, at about the same time,  I would not like to go through that again.  Nope, DH nor I would let her take that car...   She is just trying to see how much authority she has over you...  And how much she can get away with...

She will stomp and yell, but you guys are right... It WOULD be different if she were respectful, and living at home, and pretending she beLONGS in the family, and not out living with her boyfriend?  She really is living with HIM, right?  Well that ought to put an end to THAT relationship pretty darned quick!

I'll bet your DH is ready to tan her hide, so they used to say.... not that she doesn't need it, but you can't do that anymore.  

As a Mom, we always find and make excuses for what they are doing, and in the meantime we are crying inside.  We just want them to be like they were, and not this stupid independent pot-smoking little brats they are trying to be.

It will get better.... just remember that...  you are trying to do what you know is best, so just stick with it... maybe she will come around, eventually.....  But talking to them at that age, is like talking to the wind.

Just hang in there ...  and remember.... YOU are the Mom...

susan3

weird stuff going on yesterday ...bad mojo or what's with this site.  Oh well...off in about 5 hours for my spa weekend....yeah me

Sorry some of you r having daughter problems. We have a only child. One daughter. 23 now. We wished we could of had lots more, just didn't happen.  But with one child, we actually had a peaceful house. No cybling fighting . Always had both parents attention. My dollars worth of advice, not from my personal experience raising a daughter, but from how my dad treated me.........if my dad could trust me, and I showed respect, and I followed the rules......I could have just about anything I wanted...within reason of course......my dad set strong boundaries and kept them. It was actually a great way to grow up. I always knew where I stood. It is good knowing you can't manipulate at least one of your parents.......raising my daughter , I always told her.....this is a dictatorship, you earn a democracy! She always hated that growing up, now she is a teacher and thinks its the smartest thing ever..lol

I think one of the hardest things when they are older, is that they know in their heads what their plan is and what they are doing and how they really feel. They know where they are at, they know that they are safe. We as parents, are used to , at least trying to know everything....where they are, who they are with, what they are doing, when they will be home...etc. then one day they are old enough for all that to. Change.   No easing into it. Just bam......harder for us to adjust from that mom protecting roll. They have been waiting a long time to fly, always thinking they can do it solely on their own.  I would stick to whatever you think is right in your head...whatever your boundaries are for your kids......they are resilient  and will adjust. Might be mad for a bit, but they will get over it...I think. Lol

My daughter and I always had a "open floor" time. She was allowed to say anything she wanted to me during that time and I wouldnt get upset, or emotional, and I wouldn't ground her. It helped me know how she was  processing    stuff. I learned a lot from that. How we think they are receiving info really isn't how it is happening. Not sure how the English language gets so convoluted when talking to family...lol

Anyway, after this ramble, I think it was a great idea to tell her you wanted to sit and talk first.  An open floor is a great idea. Hope she decides to talk things out with you.    Good luck

Sas....I take the same for sleeping .  Hope you slept well

Cami ...hope you got you days and nights flipped back again. Hope everything is going well

Hi everyone else. Have a great weekend.....I will !!  Talk to you on Sunday

susan3

ohhhh, and to continue my ramble....someone asked for someone to chime in who's mother had bc. My mom had bc. I was 21 when she was diagnosed. She will be 81 next month. I was just married at the time and think it made a big difference cause I didn't live at home and had a hubby to talk to. And like I said, my dad and I got along sooooo well, we really were great friends, and he handled it well....at least that's what he showed me....we never had any issues cause of bc.   My mom and I have lots os issues between us, always have, but bc back then wasn't one of them. We have never understood each other and probably never will. ..

Ok I'm done

camillegal

Good Morning--

Well Chevy I was kind of right in a long shot way. But of course we know I wasn't exactly right.

I think right now we're all wishing we were with Susan, sounds so nice,

FBB I honestly don't know what to say--I think u have to look back at who u'r DD has been closest with and then maybe ask her to come over for a NICE talk, no preaching, no judgements just talk and I (personally, because I'm a b*tch) would give her something to read first about u'r cancer and then go on with a talk about why this is all difficult for u and u'r DH, it's hard to be ill and have u'r world all torn up cuz u love her so much. See as a Catholic Italian, guilt and fear was the thing for us, but it's not that way anymore---that's why I don't believe in guilt anymore---but maybe u can reach certain agreements even if they go against u'r real feelings )as long as they are not bizarre)  and make her feel like she has a right to her emotions but she now chooses responsibilities too, so maybe u can start out with the car but she has to pay 1/2 of the ins. until she gets on her feet with her job and then pay the rest and once she does that get it out of u'r name so u are not responsible. I never had my name on my kids cars they always had to pay whatever was needed. I'm assuming it's all paid for, Then it will really be her responsibility and if it's already in her name fine that's better. But try to have a quiet talk and have u'r boundaries and let her pick some that are bendable. Because right now u both are so wrong to her but if maybe u seem to agree on somethings, she'll start to see things differently. It's just my silly opinion I always said I take no credit or blame for how my DD's come out I did the best I could so that's my attitude. LOL

OK I am quiet for now, but I just hate when we're hurting for any reason, it seems to me that having all this BC is enough t one time and no one should interfere with our stress. HaHa in a perfect world, well we wouldn't even have this.

Now about my shower this morning my DD bought me  something new --Forever sunshine--so that's my fragrance for today-I smell like the fresh outdoors and very relaxing. I need hugs so other can enjoy this LOL

And today and tomorrow are my scary movies days like my own life isn't scary enough, just looking in a mirror is a horror nowadays. So I'll BBL

I'm waving now

Nettie1964

I'm not really a good person to give advice about kids!  I was raised sternly, had strict boundaries and severe consequences (not beatings - just would be grounded in my room for months on end and in that time, I had nothing in my room, not even a radio, but I was allowed books)!  I raised my children quite the same!  Very strict, I meant what I said and they knew it!  Today, they have both graduated college, one is a Physical Therapist and one has a degree in marketing but is doing her own Photography business!  I had zero tolerance, but that is just how I was!  As soon as they were declared out of school, both were expected to have their vehicles put in their own name and they started paying all the expenses!  At one point, my daughter thought she would test the waters, but she found out quickly just how cruel the "real" world is.  It didn't take more than a week for her to realize home was quite a nice place and the rules weren't all so bad!  I've actually had them both tell me now that it was nice to have boundaries and rules, it was a safe place!  My son is 27 and my daughter is 24!  Both married with one child and one on the way!  Both seem to have my same expectations of their children!  And even as a grandmother, I am not a push over, I will spank when needed and do correct quite often!

Anyway, just my take on things! 

Happy Friday everyone!

tangandchris

I love the wisdom from you ladies!! ((hug))

Spookiesmom

Smaarty

This should cover the next couple of days!

FierceBluebird

Thanks for all the advice and wisdom! I know you are all right and it's nice to see how I'm feeling coming from others. (If that made any sense!) 

DD is stubborn just like her father. I will offer up the peace gaiuntlet and see if she will be willing to come over to talk this weekend and hopefully the smoke coming out of her ears and her father's ears won't set off the smoke detectors! 

I couldn't sleep last night worrying about everything. With all my health issues lately I'm worried that I won't have the time to make peace with her. She is certainly strong willed enough to hold out. Unlike me who will feel awful is someone else is hurting or sad. I will crack like a nut! Must be that Catholic guilt that cammi mentioned. I'm all about forgiveness and turning the other cheek. But like Nettie, we do keep our boundaries too.  Susan, I'm sorry your mom had BC, but happy to hear she is doing well and that it helped mature you along the way. I think lots of moms and daughters have issues. I know we do!  But maybe some day I can watch Shirley Temple movies with mine. Or I'll just go crash Chevy's mom daughter lunch.

sas-schatzi

Susan, I went back to melatonin and Ativan a few weeks ago. I had been off them quite awhile. Then Sleep left again, so, until it returns. I will take them.

FBB, talk, but watch out for the entitled words. She owns nothing. Just b/c she uses it doesn't make it hers. Always amazed me how kids think this. Even me when I was young. How many of us thought we had a right to our bedroom furniture LOL.

From about ten y's/o I made a phrase that was brought up with DS each time he accomplished something from then till now.

"With Effort Comes Privilege" . Even had it as the center of his senior year book collage page. I only had to explain it once. It was magic. Loved that phrase. Spurred him on to better things

After his dad died in 2010. I asked how much he had in his bank account. He responded "that's my money". I turned back to the financial counselor on the phone and said  "______, we will stop that after this months deposit". Never needed to discuss it. He got it in that moment that it wasn't his.

We always talked about stuff and insurances. I eased him into independence by setting deadlines that at a given point,  he'd be totally responsible for X   i.e. health insurance, car insurance. etc.  But I only had the one child and money was okay.

Good Luck sassy

luvmygoats

Susan - Your upbringing sounds much like mine. It was strict, spankings. No groundings because I was the model child/teenager. My DB was a different story but we both turned out fine. DM divorced when I was in HS. Her rules were Mom's rules. I was a soph. in HS and some friends (trusted) wanted me to go somewhere - now this was when in Texas at least you could get DL at 14 so someone had one - I didn't and no car. Mom said No and there was no arguing. About 15 minutes later she said "why did I say that, you can go" - too late, they were gone. Raised DD much the same way. We only have the one child too. Way late having that one. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that her privileges would go away including a door to her room as a last resort. Never needed to go there. She did get grounded several times mostly for smart mouth or not doing chores. I used to make her ride the bus home in the afternoon if she smarted off on the drive to school. She hated the bus; worked great.

FBB - I hope DD has the smarts to sit and listen to you and DH. Any chance DD can use mass transit to get to work? We gave DD an old car we had and paid the insurance while she was in college. But she lived at home for 2 years and then an hour away at University. I think I had her start paying the insurance (to us) when she graduated but let her use it for 2 more years till she bought a car. It was never in her name. She also paid the general maintenance on it those last 2 years. We paid the tags/inspection because we live in a diff. county. I think she had to buy tires, too, with DH's input.

What if you tell her outright that is your fear? Maybe you have and it hasn't worked. Can't remember. Think out what you want to say to her. Get DH to discuss calmly. I'm usually the one with the smoky ears so I know that calm is not nec. how it works out. I'm with you girl. Will keep you in my prayers this weekend.

OK this is one of my favorite songs. I just had to look it up again this morning. I love Glen Campbell.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5nUGCVDvzw

sas-schatzi

Smarrty are there coffee art competitions? 

Smaarty

yes, there's lot of them,  all over the world. Wow, didn't know that.