INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

Anonymous

Can I hear an Amen?

"Normal people terrify me, because they haven't had enough problems in their life to know how to handle problems when they come up. Something little happens and they snap."

"Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader."

- Christopher Titus

Loveroflife

AMEN!!

JunieB

There was an author (whose name escapes me) that wrote a book about 30 years ago titled "Normal is just a setting on your dryer!" I'm going with that.

By the way, Hello Ladies!

Today was my appt. with the Ortho's PA. And she said that my surgeon is not concerned by the bone scan report saying that my hip hardware is loose, or the thing about there being a bone sliver near my acetabulum (hip socket). She told me that the sliver could be from the surgery or the dislocation. Also, they do not want to do any further surgery at this point. They're hoping that if I maintain strict hip precautions, the soft tissues, ligaments, muscles, etc., will scar over and therefore stablize the prosthesis. Also, told me that if I continue to experience dislocations, they still want to wait until I am 6 mos. out from my last surgery to consider placing an actetabular cup. So, I guess you all know that I'm gonna do everything possible to maintain those hip precautions. NO MORE Gardening, or anything else that compromises my future functionality (i.e., Cairn puppy momma).

I see knitting and sewing type stuff, along with the paperwork at my volunteering job in my future for the foreseeable future.

Welcome fredntan!

Susan - Are you feeling any better today?

Jazzy - Communication is NOT my strong suit. The thought of standing in front of people causes my brain to freeze and fear to overwhelm me. When I went back to college a few years ago I took a communications class and we were assigned group projects. Each group had to pick a charity, go and volunteer as a group, then create/present a Powerpoint presentation to the class.

When it was my groups turn, I had an asthma attack and had to leave the room right in the middle of our presentation, then I returned and barely made it through my portion without passing out. The the next semester I took another communications class, this one at a local men's prison where the class was 50% inmates and 50% non-inmates. Again, a group project. The group I was assigned to put our project together and this time I took Xanax before doing our presentation. It DID NOT help! I again barely made it through.

I am happiest when I get to work in the background providing support/preparation for the lead person. Then let them shine.

Loverly - Are you back from So Cal?

Smaarty - It was a glorious day here today. It stayed in the mid 70's. But the mercury will be heading back up for the next several days. Drats!

Chevy - I second Sassy. Where are you????????

Hey Sheppie!

Well I'll say goodnight to you all. Hope everyone gets a restful nights sleep.

Loveroflife

I never thought that dropping a child off to college was so emotionally draining. Yes Susan, we did stay for the festivities and said our goodbyes on Saturday night. Many tears. It was so sad to see both DDs cried uncontrollably while hugging each other tightly. It hit me the night before when DD1 told me that she was not ready to leave home yet and askedif we could take her back. I was tempted to but had to keep calm. It hit DH when we arrived home on Sunday. It feels weird that DD is not here. All of a sudden our house seems so huge and quiet. I think we all woke up with puffy eyes today.

Queenie, wishing you many years of celebration of your covenant. We need to keep up with Ms. Chevy.

Susan, Elena looks like a baby doll in that dress.

JunieB, how was your appointment today? Hoping for no surgery.

ShepK, praying you get the surgery soon. I love the beach too.

Jazzy, we live in Northern California, but DD goes to college 55 miles from San Bernadino. The sky seemed clear when we were down in LA this past weekend. Maybe the wind blew the smoke East.

WildT, is DS the one who is not well. You are blessed to have a second mum . I love your PS.

Need to go to bed. DH is reminding me to go to bed. Nite

Anonymous

Hey JunieB!

Ack...Happy you won't be having to face another surgery right away....Sad that you won't know for sure until 6 months have passed. I was thinking of you today and had hoped your bone sliver and slippy hip would be fixable right away. Cool that that the sliver and hip may remedy on their own. Too bad there isn't a super-duper booster shot that could speed your healing up Give yourself a bit more time to recover. Maybe there still is a puppy in your near future. Classes at the men's PRISON? Gah! I would have wanted a Xanax just to sit in the room! FF retired from the Sheriff's Dept - they run the jail here. He spent 25 years working there; first as an officer then as a supervisor. I can't imagine any scenario where they would have let the public mix with the inmates like that. I'm thinking that the men were non-violent offenders? No poo throwers? (ahhh, I have stories) One of the women in my dog training team had a great saying about speaking when in an uncertain/uncomfortable situation. "Fake 'n Quake" She always came off as super confident when speaking to a large group - comforting to know even she had her moments Wishing you a pain free and restful night of sleep

Susan ~ Lovely, lovely pics of you and your family. And such a beautiful bouquet Claire The Beet Queen is holding! Hope you are feeling better after your treatments and that your cold has cleared up.

WildT ~ Sick kid, sore you, odd friend...... (((hugs)))

Jazzy ~ Hope the weather co-operated and you were able to properly "break-in" your new patio set!

Sassy ~ I only hang out here at BCO. I came thisclose to drowning one of my dear friends in a bucket after she kept posting some really asinine things on the other social media place. That "other" place is like a never ending year 'round version of those puke inducing Christmas newsletters some people feel so inclined to send out. Bragging, boasting,....all just a big "show" for those insecure imbeciles to make them feel oh-so-good about themselves.

Loverly ~ Posted and then saw you snuck in before me. I am soooo sad for all of you. But then again, there would not have been so many tears if you all didn't love each other so much. DD1 is starting out on what should be an exciting time of her life. May her nerves calm quickly and allow her to settle in. In the "olden days" it was hard to keep in close contact when the kids went away. Now we have so many ways to easily communicate. Not the same as being together face to face, but you can check in with each other as often as you like. Big (((hugs))) to you all. Mitzy too

Rory ~ I saw you over on the Cats thread, welcome!

Fran ~ Howdy!

Waving "hey" to all the Owlies

Finally got my call back from the surgeon's office. All is good. There had been concern about me having to wait too long, that is why the other hospital was mentioned. The vendor my cancer center uses for outside equipment had folded. A new vendor has been found and the paperwork processed. Still waiting for a date. At least I know for sure one is coming.......

Jazzygirl

Wildtulip- wow, who says that to someone going through cancer treatment? Interesting she chose to text you with that vs. talking to you about anything in person. I would expect more from a 35 year friendship, but have had issues with my bff who has been my friend for that long too. Have you asked her for a lot of help? If yes, maybe she is telling you she is maxed out and cannot do any more right now. If she is not someone who has been around much, then my guess is friendship to her is about her needs and no one gets to have any of their own.

You have a sick child right now and need to focus on that. Next time you happen to see her, you should just ask her "I got your text and need to understand what you are saying to me?" Hear her out and see what she says. Then decide what YOU want. We all have suffered friendship losses here after cancer. I had to cut a few folks out of my life because of the way they were treating me before and after cancer treatment. Life is too difficult to waste time with people who don't care, even if we have known them a long time. I had to cut off a friend of 25 years because of the way she treated me during treatment, and then came back later acting like we had lost touch. She even said as much. We have been done for a few years now and find I don't miss her. Not all friendship last forever.

Loverly- I hope your DD has a great year at college.

Gotta run but here is a rainbow after a big storm yesterday that extended from one end of the valley to the other. Big rains yesterday!

Loveroflife

sas-schatzi

Okay, abnormal or the normal about the abnormality, is acceptable as the normal, and there will be no more profundity or conundrum related to the question:)

sas-schatzi

Junie, status quo seems to be okay. Good. If you ever have to do a presentation again ask for Inderal 25mg. Usual starting BP dose is 50 mg. Inderal has been use for presentation anxiety/ tremors for a few decades. But I would suggest trying it before the presentation to see how it affects you.

Oh Loverly, sorry it was so hard to leave DD1 at school. HUGS Skype?

HI Fran, don't worry about catching up Glad you came.

Off to dinner and Star Trek Beyond.

Swam a 1000feet YAY That's = to ten houses on my block.

Anonymous

Sassy ~

Sage wisdom, logical, deep

Inmates, asylum

Owlettes reign inclusively

"So say we all"

Anonymous

Being kind to Loverly - this pic may or may not include pants 😌

Edited to add a P.S.....

Sas ~ Please report back immediately upon viewing the new Star Trek. I am a hard core purist. So many things I have issue with regrading this new incarnation. The little fake Chekov boy was always adorable though.... Rest in Peace dear Anton Yelchin ......... I blame Chrysler and their abomination of the sacred "Jeep". (hard core Jeep purist too)

Loveroflife

Hahaha....perfect timing!!

Loveroflife

I had to reciprocate.

Jazzygirl

Loveroflife

Rory, welcome! I get stressed out in crowded place ever since I could remember. I do enjoy quiet time, but I also enjoy spending time one on one with a friend. I do have mild self-diagnosed ADD. Always struggled in school. Didn't realized I learned differently from the normal people until I became a mom.

Welcome, Fran! Did I read that right? Your family and DH live apart because of his work. I need to go back and reread.

WildT, wanted to comment last night about your friend of 35 years, but wasdead tired. It is insensitive what she said knowing that you are no longer with your spouse. Friends supposed to build you up not tear you down when you most needed them. I'm sorry. I hope this is not the same friend who came over to spend the night two weeks ago. I'm so glad for big Sis Jazzy.

JunieB, hopefully your body does its job with the healing so you can avoid surgery.

Thank you Ms. S for checking on me.

Ms. Sas, I can't believe you spent that much time researching. It must be the O of OCD in addition to the caring and nurturing blood in you.Bless you.

Oh....thekids are dismissed from school. My turn to be the carpool mom today.

Anonymous

Oh my goodness! Loverly.......momentarily paniced that you had somehow snuck in and snapped a pic of FF! Came to my senses when I remembered FF would never get that close to the stovetop. And those counters are clean. Underpants clean too.............

Anonymous

Oh, my...before I re-read and write I have to tell you girls, you made me giggle for the first time in days!! Those man pics/words and your comments Shep...too funny!

susan3

Lover, how far up, but n northern cal. We go to eureka once a year. My fav uncle lives there. Don't think you can get any further north:)

Still not feeling great. It's amazing the amount of energy it takes to stand these days. And the. There's the puppy. While exhausting her I think I am killing myself. Can't wait for this chest cold to be gone:(

Lover, I know they usually plan a freshman thing soon for the kids. I remember it was no big deal when we dropped Claire off. That 7 week visit...oh my, she buzzed me in, ran to the landing to meet me and hugged me,and wouldn't let go. My shirt was sopping wet with her tears. So much for thinking everything was ok. It seems they settle in after Christmas. Put your seatbelt on, and get those tissues ready.

Jazz, wish I could help you stay still. Hard to do. Be good:)

Loveroflife

Hi, Susan! Eureka is about 300+ miles from where we live. I have not visited Eureka. Must be pretty. Bummer about the chest cold. Make sure it doesn't progress to pneumonia. I thought about you the other day...the time when everyone was waiting to see where Andrew would be placed for his residency. Now I completely understand your pain/anxiety. At the beginning of our trip, it was droplets of rain and by the end it was Niagra Fall. I get to do it again with DD2, Lords willing. So expect she willsettle around Christmas time? Thanks.

Jazzygirl

Wildtulip- Loverly makes a good point, talking about her being like a husband with you when you don't have one. Good question too about whether this is the same friend who is well known to cancel on you a lot. One in the same?

Susan- ha ha, slow down? Me? How is that baby?

JunieB

Shep - the inmates that participated in the communication class I had taken were men convicted of everything from murder, theft, to drugs manufacturing/sales, etc. But no poo throwers to my knowledge. ;0) They were allowed to take these classes because they'd demonstrated excellent behavior while incarcerated and had been accepted into the college degree program for AA's in I think 2 or 3 different areas.

The program served the purpose of training inmates skills that they could use to find employment after release from prison. At the time I was there, approx. 30 former inmates that had graduated with these degrees had successfully reintegrated into society. A few had even started their own successful businesses. At that point not one had re-offended either. The thought was that if you release an inmate without improving their coping skills and preparing them with education, they would simply go back to what they were doing before prison in order to make a living.

At the time there was one anonymous private benefactor, but I heard about a year later that that person had withdrawn their financial funding and the program was looking for alternate funding sources.

JunieB

Loverly - Glad you got your DD off to college and had an enjoyable time, even if there were some tears too.

Susan - So sorry you're still feeling puny. I sure hope you get some relief soon.

Wenchie - How's it going girlie? Miss seeing your posts and your humor.

Anonymous

Finally catching up after a hectic couple of days.

Susan, Nice pictures!

Junie, What is your volunteer job?

Shep, I loved your description of the, "other social media place!"

Jazzy, I hope you had fun with your friend Sunday.

Loverly, I'm sorry you and your family had such a hard time last weekend. I can imagine your heart broke into pieces watching your two DD's say good bye. Shep worded my thoughts perfectly. It is my DD that is sick this time, a fever and bad cold. She didn't even want to go to her dad's tonight. (Typically every Tues and Sat nights) With my DD medical history a cold can turn serious quickly and she has to be watched closely.

Hi Rory & Fran!

Jazzy, Loverly..No, this is not the same friend that came over a couple of weeks ago. I've known J since we were in elementary school, but I moved away before 6th grade. We have kept in touch all these years, sometimes living in different states or countries, but we now only live 1/2 hour apart. We are very different people, but have the history. With the bc she has supported me emotionally from the get go, but other then going with me to pick out a wig, never really did anything for me. (Meaning, no help during chemo with meals, kids.) In my mind, she was doing her part supporting me emotionally. Despite living close by, we see each other every 1-2 months. She never calls or emails, it's always text. The times I call her, she doesn't seem into it. When we do get together, we often do a lot of talking..catching up on each other's lives. So, I felt it was a mutual support system and was really floored that she feels I'm asking too much of her. This whole text "fight" actually started a couple of weeks earlier..too much to go into, but it's just been really eye opening. In fact, when R was staying the night with me I told her about the first text fight with J and R asked me, "how well do you know her?" My immediate response was, well I've known her X years. R said, "Not how long, but how well?" I had noticed in recent years that J really prefers to keep conversation to the surfacy or fluffy stuff, but we had a history of sharing the hard stuff and I continued. What really bothers me, like Jazzy said, is that she didn't sit me down with a heart to heart and tell me how she was feeling. Instead she hit me with something in a text that apparently has been bugging her for a while. J did send me a text today saying she was sorry for anything she said that hurt my feelings. I've discussed changing relationships with my therapist and she has told me that I can't get everything from one person, but I honestly didn't think I was asking that much of J. In fact I feel like I was conscience of sharing my difficulties with various friends. I could go on and on about this topic (ok...I have), but I've thought so much about it, because so many of my relationships have changed since Dx. It is really hard when you don't have that one steady person at your side. This whole thing the last couple of weeks has made me feel self conscience, like I have to be careful not to burden people with my reality. Having two kids with special needs it's hard enough to maintain friendships, but the bc has made it worse. And yes, I, like many have to hear about others cancer stories. I hope to handle it as well as you do one day, Jazzy.

Anonymous

And now this is purely for amusement...I did have a nice time with my 80 yr old friend who came for lunch on Sunday. She is actually turning 80 in October and over the weekend I got a text from one of her son's letting me know that he and his brother's were planning a surprise bday party. He wanted my input on some people that should be invited. Here's the interesting part..this son, D, used to live in my neighborhood, so I have known him a long time. In the fall of 2014 I invited him over for dinner, and we started seeing each other. But, we kept it secret. It was a physical thing..we had fun together. When I was Dx in early 2015, I told D I didn't expect him to stick around, and he didn't. Just another thing bc took away. His actual response was, "just take care of your health." Once in a while he checked in on me, and I knew he was getting updates from his mom. I actually ended up spending palm Sunday with the family this year, and it was awkward. So, now this bday party is coming up..hopefully with enough people there that it won't feel weird.

magdalene51

Hey Owlettes, just checking in. I've had family here for a week, and even though they didn't require caring for, it's exhausting having that many people around. They left at 9 this morning and I crashed and slept till 3. It was my oldest sister and her DH, they live in Pittsburgh now, and we haven't seen them in several years. Friday night, my next older sister came over and spent a couple nights. Friday night her granddaughter, her grandson and his wife, and their 2 year old daughter came with her, and we all went out to dinner then came back and played dominos until the baby got fussy. We pretty much played dominos every night, it was fun and normal feeling.

Yesterday my sister took me to see MO. She has not been around for any of the cancer stuff so I wanted her to see. MO says my jaw pain is a known side effect of anastrozole and faslodex in about 15% of patients. He actually looked it up when I told him about it. I told him about the teeth, he looked at them and was really surprised, but asked me to hold off on having the dental work done until we see what the next scan says, which he's scheduled for one month out. Mouth pain is the pits - but it's not the teeth that are hurting, and I figure that's because they are already dead. To give you an idea, it looks like those awful pictures of meth mouth, where the teeth are rotting from the inside, as well as chipping off. Not pretty.

DH had surgery on badly inflamed tendinitis in his right hand last week, so he's been in a cast for a week and he's not a very good patient. He wants to do everything himself, and he can't and that frustrates him.

I have more, but I'm tired and have a headache. I'll try to write more tomorrow. I too have a story about a friendship that ended via text. And other stuff.

Nini for now.

susan3

wildtulip, feel your pain. It doesn't make sense, I have tried hard to understand people. Lost my best friend over this cancer stuff. Thought I had a close extended family..ha..not so much. When the cancer recurred, ( I was on meds the whole time before it came back), Had to cut my clients back a ton. Can only do so much, and like everyone else, we strive for balance. Had 150 clients, (I do hair) , cut it to 30. Some of them were friends, but most just clients. I got yelled at by some and it's been 5 yrs since I cut back. I have not heard from one...no card, text nothing. It hurts, it's unexplainable, but I have learned the hard way, not to expect but to accept. And I hold my friends very close to my heart. There are truly great caring wonderful people out there. When we find them, hold tight and don't let them go . Hope you can find peace and get through the tuff yucky stuff . We are here for you :

Loveroflife

WildT, we are not made to be alone. Wish we could all go there and to lend a hand. You have so much on your plate. They need to be shared.

Mags, hope you get the rest you need.

I think I figured out how to post home video. Will see. Reese's older sister was trying to get her two year old brother to laugh by making farting sound. Lo and behold they heard laughter on the other side of the room. It was Reese. Unfortunately, my niece got the weird humor gene too.

Anonymous

Loverly ~ ooooh that laugh! Delightful music to hear before bedtime...... even with the "tooting" 💟

Ever so want to stay up and visit but am too sleepyish. Will check back in the morning.

Sending up prayers for healing for our ailing owlettes and baby chicks (owlette-ettes?)

Jazzygirl

Wildtulip- not hearing this person has been there much for you, maybe more interested in you listening to her and when you share your needs, you get shut down. She also clearly wants to swim in the shallow end of the pool, and projecting some kind of weird stuff with that always looking to get everything from one person. Sounds like that is something going on in her life vs. yours? Don't let other people tell you what to think or how to feel. RUN!

I had a friend like that too who made a lot of judgement around my dx and how I was coping. Some people are really just looking for an audience, they are not really interested in what is going on with us and upset when they don't have that anymore. I knew her for a long time too and never really got it about her until cancer paid a visit. I wondered later on, why did I not see that before? Because she never really showed her cards until the worst of the worst happened. I am done making excuses for people who are unkind around this stuff. That being said, loosing friends as part of this is some of the most unexpected experiences we can have.

If I can give any advice here, don't waste your time with people who don't care and make you feel bad. People who are not kind have to go, no excuses. Focus on the people who do care and do help. Cultivate those relationships. There are a lot of good people out there. Not everyone is afraid of cancer stuff. Cancer is everywhere.

Loverly- that was cute.

Mags- good to hear from you and hear you too on how tiring company is, event though fun. I have a friend coming to visit who is high energy and tries to push the whole time she is here. She has family in the area so I have let her know the time I can spend with her and where she needs to go do other things. I won't be 24 by 7 for anyone anymore. I hope you can get rested up and that DH is better soon. Sorry about the friend who ended things by text. Not kind.

Susan- sorry you lost your BFF and that those hair clients were not kind. I hate to say it but after going through everything I have at this point in life, I don't expect people to be nice during a crisis. My experience with sick family in my 20s and 30s, eldercare, etc. taught me that. I work for myself and kept my dx pretty private. One of my BFFs told me I should tell more people for better support but knew that was not a good idea professionally. But I also knew that if shared too much, I was putting myself in a path of more emotional pain with people. Just learned this lesson very early in life. I don't assume people are going to be great anymore.

Time to get to work!

susan3

jazz, so true...not everyone wants to jump in the fire with you. But I have found such beauty with the pain. I hold on to the beauty. Odd how such yucky stuff can also be the cause of such wonderful beauty and real deep hearted emotions between people, and uncondional love. Have fun working today