I say yes, you say no, OR People are Strange

suzieq60

For you those of you who haven't blocked me - I just re read all of my posts - I didn't say anything that outlandish but you all were sure quick to condemn. I'm sorry I made the mistake that you were my friends.

bluedahlia

Suzie, when we make a mistake we have to own up to it instead of making excuses.  What you said was like saying you hate Christianity (and thus all Christians) because there are some priests who abuse little boys, or in simpler terms, you hate all flowers because some of them are pink.  I'm sorry you feel this way but some of us haven't blocked you.

River_Rat

Blue, just to add to what you said. There's also churches doing things that I can only categorize as crazy although many think it's perfectly fine. Such as:

Kentucky Southern Baptists Draw Crowds With Gun Giveaways

NPR link

kayfh

I haven't blocked you yet Suzie.  I actually believe in the powers of contrition and redemption, even though I cannot be a catholic because of the church's attitude towards women and child sexual abuse. (Oh and because, at age 61 I don't think that god exists outside of our willingness to believe just about anything we are taught as children.)

In case you haven't heard.  This is a world wide issue.   

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-06-12/royal-commission-seeks-vatican-files-on-priest-abuse-claims/5518024

crazy4carrots

Suzie -- I'm sorry that you think anyone who disagrees with you is all of a sudden a "non-friend".  I have disagreements all the time with my friends and my family members.  

I despise the folks of the Westboro Baptist Church who picket funerals by holding up signs at the funerals of veterans and others saying hateful, derogatory things.  While I'm a non-believer (having come to that conclusion as a free-thinkng adult) I don't classify ALL Baptists, and all Christians in the same category as the Westboro cretins. 

I totally resented your asking if all of us here thought FGM was okay.  That was truly insulting.  And if my sister had asked me the same question, I would have told her the same thing.  I would have expected her to apologize, and I know that she would have done so.

Friendship works both ways, Suzie.

QuinnCat

Suzie - I don't think being "quick to condemn" has anything to do with bigotry.  I was absolutely shocked when you said, or if anyone said, outright, "I hate Muslims."   Hate is a word I rarely use; to be reserved for strong negative emotions in my book, ergo I would not use it flippantly and that's my expectation of others, I suppose.  I would have to really mean it, to type "hate."  To follow that word by a whole class of people - that is bigotry.  You revealed your true feelings in that one simple statement, and proof was in how you followed up - justfiying your hatred.  There was no contrition ever shown.  Before I opened up this thread, this morning, I was actually thinking about what you said and the reaction you got.  I don't think you understood, based on your follow up comments, how offensive those three words were (nor do I think you still understand).  I feel bad for you, because it must feel awful to be blocked (ostracized) by people who you thought were your friends.  I imagine how a Muslim posting here might have felt reading your words, though.  Imagine how we, as a group, who hate (yes, hate) bigotry and racism might feel.  I was actually in disbelief when I read your words.  This is not a small thing.

kayfh

I this is growing in my side yard.  I am sorry it is so big.  I will try again.

crazy4carrots

Beautiful picture, Kay -- and bigger is better!

River_Rat

Kay, that's not too big. It's beautiful!

kayfh

Our house is on a small urban lot, on the river about 5 minutes walk from downtown.  In the winter it can be bleak.  

but  we live in hope.

crazy4carrots

Here's a hypothetical:  Let's say a global cataclysm occurred and a very large island emerged out of the chaos.

And let's say that all the white supremacists of the world decided to lay claim to it -- and named it Whiteland.  Yes, a whole island country only for white folks -- no blacks, asians, east Indians, aboriginals, or -- egad -- Muslims allowed.

How long would it take (months, years, a decade perhaps) for those white settlers to break into groups and declare war on each other?

Just think of European history.......

QuinnCat

Sweet woodruff and some kind of what?  Lily?  I'm just getting into gardening, so want to learn!

gardengumby

Suzie, I have not and will not block you. I view you as a friend with whom I've had a disagreement.  I've been hoping you felt the same way.  

Bren-2007

Morning Everyone!

Remember that lightning strike out back I told you about ... well the damn thing fried the TV and Dish Receiver.  I am so upset, but not near as upset as Tim.  He loves his TV and using his vacation pay to replace it is not on my list, but is on his!  I want the A/C fixed.  It's hot in here all day.

My Maggie is such a rag muffin ... I got out the clippers and I'm going to try to shave off some of the matted fur and then give her a bath.  She looks awful.  And I'm embarrassed for her!

Kay ... Love the garden pictures.  The winter truly is bleak up there on the river.  Glad you were able to post them.  Let me know if you want some help.

SuzieQ ... I did not block you, nor did I end our friendship.  I didn't enter into the discussion, except to say that we felt differently about certain things.  I don't hate anyone.  Well ... I do have strong feelings of distaste and wishes for revenge against my ex-husband, but those feelings only hurt me and certainly have no effect on him.

It's been no secret that your beliefs fall to the right of most of us on this thread.  That didn't mean we weren't friends.  Just had different views on life and politics.  I hope I have not in any way hurt your feelings.

Hope everyone has a good day.

hugs,

Bren

Bren-2007

PS .. Does anyone have any tips on how to shear Maggie's fur?  The worse of it is by her butt.  I've never clipped anything before so I could use some advice.

Thanks,
Bren

River_Rat

Bren, I sympathize with you for the task you're about to undertake. I have done that but had no idea what I was doing and it was a nasty, gross task. I would still have no idea of a good way to do it.

RetiredLibby

Bren, we had to clip our cat Spot (whose nickname was Big Dog) when he got matts. We used scissors to get the worst of the clumps. DH has a big electric hair clipper (I have no idea why - they came with him when we married!) and we used them to shave the rest of Spotty's hindquarters. We didn't shave him bald, we only shaved him like a crew cut - enough to get the matts.

QuinnCat

I have ended a friendship over racism.  It was my neighbor's mother.  I hadn't known her long, and she wasn't the usual company I would keep, but went over to her house to watch the 4th of July parade as she was very close to the route.  An African-American man parked in front of her house and to my surprise she spewed off the "N" word several times.  It wasn't like she was a close friend of mine, at all, but I couldn't get out of that house fast enough.  It really hurt  me to hear someone say that.  

Bren-2007

Kam ... I have had many Republican friends end their friendships with me.  It really hurt my feelings.  I very rarely discussed politics and kept the friendships based on the things we had in common.  My faith was also not nearly as strong theirs ... and that was another reason to get rid of me.

hugs,

Bren

PS .. River and Layne ... I'm going to give it a try.  I'm not real hopeful on the results ... just would like to get her cleaned up.  Think I'll use the scissors first ... then the clippers.  I found a big attachment that will keep the clippers from getting too close to her skin.

djd

I see that my idiot governor is comparing alcoholism to being gay.  In the audience, mostly of his supporters, people gasped. 

I love it when Teahadists open their mouths and show how stupid they really are - it worked so well in 2012!!

River_Rat

Kam and Bren, I have also lost contact with someone over politics. My father's uncle kept sending me all sorts of right-wing wacko stuff. Sometimes I ignored them, sometimes I sent him links showing his worries just weren't true. I asked him to please quit sending me that stuff and we could just chat about family and send each other nonpolitical jokes. He agreed and things were good for about two weeks, then he started up again. His emails got worse and worse. I finally hit "reply all" on one and sent links and his email buddies must have gotten upset. He got riled up and said he was going to block my email, which sadly by that point I was quite ok with. Well, my brother asked if I couldn't have handled it better. That it was a shame to lose contact with this old relative. Then he and my brother went through the same routine. My brother ended up apologizing to me and saying it was a lost cause.

pip57

I have many friends that have different political, parental, economic etc views.  It is what makes our relationships interesting.  I'd like to think that we learn a lot from each other.  Each persons experiences in life will shape their fundamental beliefs.  However, there are lines, most of them are moral,  that I find hard to fit in with my own lifestyle.  

In my younger years I had this sweet old lady as a client. She and I had many common interests and I loved our conversations.   We got along very well ... except when she would go on a rant about "Pakies and Blacks".  I once mentioned to my supervisor how sweet she was.  She replied "You mean other than the fact that she is a racist biggot who hates people who are different from her?"  There is no good response to that!

QuinnCat

This woman was not that intelligent, an ardent Fox News watcher and I knew it.  I could still associate with her based on her political views - though like I said, she was more of a friend by association rather than for any organic reason, but when she spewed off the "N*" word, that was too much for my soul to take.   Some people are just ignorant of what they say and maybe need some pointers on their choice of words, but she knew exactly what she was saying and what her intent was - hate.  I can tell the difference, usually.

River_Rat

Kam, the "N" word and various disgusting cartoons was part of what I am calling my relatives "political emails." 

bluedahlia

Aren't they lovely.

bluedahlia

Our new endeavour....."Feed Me!"

River_Rat

Blue, what's in the tank?

kayfh

When an otherwise normal looking person, particularly those who are aging starts to spew hateful things about other groups of people, or support causes you know do not make any sense for that individual in the context of how they have conducted themselves in the past, it is a red flag.  The possibility of the insidious onset of dementia (there are many kinds, not just Alzheimer's) must be considered. 

QuinnCat

RR - thanks for the clarification, I wasn't sure.  Racism is a subset of politics, but since Obama has become President, it truely is hard to distinguish between the two as it is hate 24/7 and for things as silly as chewing gum.  Hiding their racism behind politics.

Most of those people are so far down the rabbit hole I'm not sure they are even aware they are exposing their racism. They are racists, damn sure; deep inside they know they are racists, but they think by using dog whistle methods, no one else realizes it.  I think they even fool themselves.

River_Rat

Kay, yeah I know. My Dad had Alzheimer's. This relative was just fine until a black man was elected president. Edited to add that my father's Alzheimer's never caused him to utter racist stuff, just that I know this can happen. The biggest thing with my other relative was watching FOX news all the time and hearing so many people say disgusting things that he thought it was alright to do that now.