thought I had a slipped disc but then....

Leah_S

Sue, I hope everyuthing went well at your appt today.

It's too late for this advice to make a difference for today's appt but here's something to think about for future appts. Your sister, who obviously loves you very much, has offered to go with you to the appt & into the doc's office if you want. She wouldn't have offered if she didn't want to help you in that way. If the situation were reversed and you offered to go with her to a medical appt, do you think she wuld be "mean" if she accepted the offer? Of course not; you'd go because you want to help in any way you can. So accept what help and support she gives you. It's a blessing to have that.

All the best.

Leah

squidwitch42

Leah,

If I may speak for Sue, she was making light in her conversation. We use our words a bit differently to ease our concerns.

Sue,

My dear, am here along with the other Sisters in support. You are very much in our hearts and minds. Big Hugs and Oodles of Sparkles. Your Sisters.

1Athena1

Sue,

Wanted to join my neighbor squidwitch and others in saying that you are in my thoughts and I am wishing you the very best. Let's hope they have a plan to ease the pain a bit better. Lots of hugs! 

squidwitch42

We love you Sue!

Big Hugs From All...

sueUK

Aw...I am feeling the love! lol!

Now then where do I begin??? The best news, let me tell the BEST news - my lungs and liver are clear!! Sis and I hugged in relief at that little gem...what a huge relief - then I could get stuck into the nitty gritty without thinking, hurry up man....cut to the chase! Oh he did dilly dally, asking silly questions which in the end I refused (was simply unable) to answer until he gave me the blooming results! 

Not so good looking down in the pelvic area...in fact, once I actually faced up to looking at one of the CT images, I could see that one side of the pelvic bone is pretty mashed - in one little image all the pain suddenly made sense! Most of that side of the bone was virtually invisible being contaminated with any number of tumours...sigh! But, once me and sis got this guy round to our way of thinking, he was very thorough with his explanations of what was going on, treatments, side-effects and everything.....and we got the ball rolling with treatment immediately...phew!

Firstly, the Tamoxifen is gone - it clearly hadnt done its job, so I needed something different. I have been given Arimidex, which as it is for post-menopausal women...and my body is unclear on where it stands in that respect, I will also have a monthly implant to shut off my ovaries.

Next up is an injection given via IV every 3 weeks to strengthen the bone, prevent further spread, ease pain - I cant remember what the name of that is....so many names and dates to learn now - I will have to make lists! I will have the first of those next Monday.

The big guns however, come with 10 rounds of radiotherapy - Monday to Friday, weekend off, then Monday to Friday again and that will be done and dusted. That could be as early as next week - I await a call now to make arrangments. The consultant was very optimistic that I would be pain-free in no time....music to my ears!

I had more bloods taken today to check hormone and calcium levels, a bone scan set for a little while ahead....and I think that was just about it.

I know there will be some people (mostly not a million miles away from me here!) who wonder - how can I possibly see these as fabby results. But we pretty much knew that the hip was wrecked, so everything else being clear was the best case scenario for me. Add to that, a complete treatment plan getting underway pronto - I was and am a very happy bunny! See.. I told you those sparkles were magic! lol!

Of course, I then had to face telling my sons   I was going to leave that until tomorrow, but then thought, oh heck, its not going to get any easier so lets get this done. I txt'd each (not with the news...how terrible would that be!), but to ask them to ring me. Eventually they all got back to me and they really were hard conversations. I was as upbeat as I could be, which lets face it, was more upbeat than would have been possible if I had told them any earlier than today. My middle boy was very upset but the other two were fine...they are more of the mind that if I say all will be well, then they will take my word for it. My eldest is a couple of hours drive away so he couldnt possibly come running, but the younger two...they are about 45 minutes away so arrived later with my favourite pizza and we had lots of giggles to go with it. I think it helped them to see me looking 'normal' (as long as I didnt attempt to walk lol) and they will have gone off much happier in their minds rather than leaving it a few days.

Having my sister in with me was wonderful. My concern about me being mean was more aimed at if it had been the very worst news - I hated the thought at how upset she would be at seeing me upset and all that. But then, she would have been a wreck if she had been out in the waiting room, so I do agree with you Leah...she wanted to be there with me and anything else would have been mean on my part. So alls well that ends well!?! Apart from anything else, she made a good secretary, taking notes and remembering things that I would have forgotten!

I am exhausted, I am in agony....but I am happy!

I would like to keep popping on with updates if you want to hear them...and the odd tale of craziness of course, but I know that now that I am diagnosed, I dont really belong in this room...but I will stay here until one you tells me to sling my hook if thats okay?! lol!

Thank you all for your love and hugs, some good English sparkles coming right back at you!

Big hugs, Sue xxx

squidwitch42

Sue,

Well, first of all, I am so happy to see your post. As you said, you knew there would be some stuff, and there was. But to have your liver and lungs be clear is so wonderful! I know there are many that can give you good news as to pain reduction with radiation, as far as what I have read. Others can tell you from experience. I have been holding my breath a bit today, checking back and worried.

So it seems that I didn't hear your comment about your Sister right...wouldn't be the first time I got things wrong Leah! (sadly most likely not the last either.) But so very glad that she was there, and that you both had each other to lean on.

I just looked up to see what room we were in. I think you can have more than a one room apartment, why not have a two bedroom or more? Wherever you choose to put up your feet Sue I think you have quite a fan base that would love to be there for you, including me. I was hoping you would have the first chapter of our book finished by next week, including illustrations and pop up buttons? That should be fine right? I kid I kid. But it sounds like you can look forwards to some better days ahead, and that is such a blessing.

O.K., three sons for real? Hee! Do they ever go in your crafting room? I bet you made XMAS way fun for them, or any holiday for that matter.

So I will let you go get some well deserved rest, and I am sure that the other ladies here will be so happy to see your post.

and again, sorry Leah I got the story twisted!

Oodles of Sparkels, Glitter, and the odd pink tu tu!

BIG HUGS....traci

1Athena1

Sue, so glad you have a plan in place, and that your family is there for you. You post whenever, wherever and however you want!

LRM216

Oh Sue - at least all the suspense is over for you and I am so thankful for that.  Now your plan can be put in place and help you out of this ungodly pain you have been in.  So happy to hear the good news.  Please definitely do keep us posted on all that you journey on to, as we love you and care deeply.  Go to the other threads for their great expertise and info from the other sisters sharing your same circumstances, but no one here will ever  tell you to "sling your hook" - EVER!

Hugs,

Linda 

jacksnana

Sue,  so happy to read your post and the good news about your liver and lungs.  You have lots of us checking in on you, keeping you in our thoughts and prayers, and wishing there was more that we could do.  Glad that you now have a plan in place and hope that your awful pain will soon be just a bad memory!   Take care...    Veda

sueUK

Hey Traci & Leah...break it up lol! I didnt mean to start a conflict lol! You were both right...yes, I do make comments in a lighthearted way at times, and can be quite cheeky (you have been warned!), but at the same time in this case, I really was in a bit of a quandry re: my sis. I am so independent and too often I think, I keep the crap to myself and then sweeten it all up to those on the outside. So while I was thinking of her and how grotty it could have been for her...I was also being selfish and wondering if I was ready to share that moment or be seen to cry. Just this one part of today has been quite a learning curve, highlighted wonderfully by both your comments - and I think I might just be ready to reveal more of myself from now on - I think it was worth the risk for both of us. So i thank you for that....and no falling out girls lol!

Do you know, I can barely keep my eyes open, but Im so relishing these peaceful hours which are so much more comfy (emotionally) than last night! Ive just completed our online shop and that will be delivered tomorrow....and if one (or three) too many chocolate puds fell into my basket on the way round, how can I possibly be held responsible?!?

Random question of the day: what do you think of those hairless cats? We were looking at some hilarious videos o YouTube earlier of them taking baths...they seem to love the water unlike most kitties (and I have the scars to prove it!)  I know some people think they are yuk, but I adore the look of them and feel the need to cuddle one right now. Mmmmm.....Bubbles, fancy a little shave??? lol!

I will leave you with that thought.....

Big hugs & oodles of sparkles, Sue xxx

sueUK

ps:Linda,  Im so glad that you wont be making me sling my hook!

squidwitch42

I was just outing myself for being a wanker I swear, the more right I think I am sometimes, the more wrong I be...

but it behooves me to say...

Sue put your cat down this minute, I mean it!

I am not sure if you should be held responsible if a chocolate pud fell into your basket. Are we talking about a little woven basket with bright plastic flowers that goes in the front of your bike? or an online basket? Perhaps if you shared what a chocolate pud is, then we could take an online poll to decide if you should be held responsible? Yes, that sounds fair.

and since you left us with the thought of hairless cats, may I raise you a Chinese Crested Dog? Take That!

sweet cinnabun dreams...

Traci

Claire_in_Seattle

I was thinking of a lovely steamed chocolate pud topped with extra thick double cream.

So thrilled at your news Sue!!!

hbcheryl

Great news about the liver and lung Sue and seeing the bone has really helped you with understanding your pain, oh if only a Morrisons Apple Pie and a tub of double cream could fall in to my basket I'd be a happy girl.   

Cheryl

sunnyhou

Sweet Sue

I am glad it is not anywhere else but boy I hate to hear that it is in the bones. I can only imagine what your boys were feeling. So glad you held a strong front. I am happy they have a plan and that soon, soon your pain will be in control!.. as you can see on here there are women with bone mets only thriving and surviving. You have many, many years left on the earth so please keep writing and keeping us entertained with your great sense of humor. I pray for you often and would love to continue to hear that you are doing well. God bless Sue.!.. I am sure your family is blessed to have you!

xxoo

squidwitch42

Sue,

What sunnyhou said (sorry, your post was perfect...so I am going to second it) Thinking of you. Sparkles my friend!

hbcheryl

Sue,

I third it and add Fairy Dust.

Cheryl

Mazy1959

Sue, I have been following and am so happy for you. I know you still have bone mets to deal with but I agree..its still good news. Hugs, Mazy

flash

Hugs today Sue.  Regarding hairless cats, Siamese also love the water but then you don't have the problem of keeping the heat up higher.  Both of my meezers play in the shower when I'm tkaing my shower.  Can make it interesting not tripping sometime.  Hope tomorrow is even better.

sueUK

Good evening girls...well, its approaching a 1/4 past midnight here, but its evening somewhere or other yeah?!?

First up - Traci...the Chinese crested dog...thats one of them chihuahua, 'cart around in your handbag' types yeah? Mmmm....not so keen, in fact NO...I dont want one of them - cancel the order! Difficult to know how I can raise you after that one...but I will come up with something - random - just when you least expect it! lol!

Despite getting up way too early as I was promised a call from my doc at 9.30 which didnt materialise until about 5pm (!), Ive had a very good day today - what a treat! After a couple of 10/10 days pain wise, I managed to get things more under control today, and although I did pretty much nothing except play a few games on facebook and read the paper, I felt a very nice calmness inside my head...and money cant buy that can it girls! 

My eldest son decided he just had to drive the couple of hours from his home to see me last night..bless him, and rather than tackle the early morning traffic, he set off back home at 1.30am...as he had to be at work in the morning! Oh for a fraction of their energy! We had 'the talk', then watched some funny stuff on tv, and it was a very nice evening, and that was son no.3 (or 1 really..he is the eldest) who has gone away happy...phew!

But here I am at last with 3 days of no appointments, hopefullly no phone calls or visits, so I can REST...that is very much what I need right now. A lottery win on Saturday night would top it off nicely lol... I would happily sacrifice a bit of rest to do some online cruise/spa treatments/crafty stash shopping!

I will aim to come along here rather earlier...so that I can type without my eyes drooping...they really do not want to be awake just now!

You will be relieved to know that I resisted the urge to shave off all of Bubbles fur (spoilsports lol!) Recently in the newspaper there was a story about this woman who had dyed her cat pink. There was such a hooha about it, how cruel and all that, but it turned out that she had only used red food colouring - and the kitty looked very cute and proud to be pink lol! Mmmm....oh Bubbles......! Nah, I think pink would clash horribly with her orange bits!

I must go, Im nodding off here and I have to negotiate the stairs yet to get to my nest! Thank you all for popping by my thread to say hi, it means a lot....but as I say, I will have to come along earlier in the hope that I can be tad more entertaining!  

Have a good day you all, and sweet dreams later!

Hugs & sparkles, Sue x  

squidwitch42

Sue,

Well, today's the day for you to become a millionaire! You go Sue!! I too am a lottery aficionado, which means I play and don't win a thing.  

I will try again tonight to win lots of money with our Powerball..every Wednesday and Saturday night, I plunk down one dollar in change (so I look even sadder,) in the hopes to become free of debt. I will PM you if I win...then I will come right over with my buttons and crossword puzzles. Just need to get a passport, so most likely I will be there on Wednesday, if that's alright with you all?

Let's do take a cruise, and we'll make sure our little pets can come..my dog is not cat friendly, so we can have suites next to each other? Would you be needing a piano in yours? I will require one of those swim workout pools in my room, in addition to a 50 meter pool on deck. I'm pretty sure I can sign you up for snorkel lessons with a gorgeous hunk, and I bet the sea water will be good on your hip. We will have our own medical team of course, so no worries on treatment delays.

Anyhoo, I hope you have been resting and treating yourself well. I am so glad that you do feel a nice sense of calmness in your head. No money cannot buy that, you are right. But it could buy a seaweed wrap to put on my head, that would produce calmness along with lavender therapy.

But seriously, I am so sorry you are having 10/10 pain at all. Will your treatments start soon (radiation, right?) I know I have read over and over that this will truly get your pain knocked down and very effectively.

You are in my thoughts, and we are throwing fairy dust at you, and Peter Pan and Wendy say hi! They plan on stopping by your craft room at 0900 hours tomorrow to congratulate you on your lottery win.

HUGS and SPARKLES,

Traci

sueUK

Oh Traci, you reminded me that I hadnt checked my lotto tickets tonight....now sadly I have, and not one pigging number I am afraid...so hold fire on the passport!

I have downed a pill plus a guzzle of goop for good measure, and I should get an hour of droop-free eyes, so I thought Id better toddle along here fast! I have taken an executive decision and upped my dose...docs are not so easy to get hold of at the weekend, but as she implied we may move onto the 35mg along with the original 10mg I was given, I figure that I am not being too naughty. I did that last night but only took the 35mg this morning and needed to guzzle through the day. So, Im going to go for it have the total of 45mg morning and night - I just need more and thats that! No word about the radiotherapy yet, but he did imply that I might just get a call one morning to go in that afternoon and get the ball rolling. It wont be a minute too soon as in my most wobbly moments, I feel that this 'thing' is taking me over and we need to get on with stemming back the tide!

Today I have had a lazy moo day, nattering on the pc, reading the paper and doing a bit of window shopping on my favourite crafty sites. We have been paid today and I havent bought a single crafty accessory yet...thats so not like me, I must be ill lol! I usually have a list of 'must-haves' ready for when each pay day comes around....maybe I have bought everything that is out there...surely not, how awful would that be lol!

I finally got around to posting my 'news' on my blog last night, so thats everyone told. I always try to instill a bit of humour into the proceedings and have promised them that I will treat them to the odd gory detail along the way. I remember going into every graphic detail when I had a seranoma sucked out of me following my re-con...well, why suffer alone, though it did sound much worse than it felt in reality...or more like I made it sound yuk anyway! I also took a photo of my new (man-made) nipples....not in place I might add. I had taken my camera with me and had a photo of me with my nipple making guys taken so that I could make a scrap page with it - such fun! He sent me plenty of spares so I glittered one up and set it onto a flower...that features on my page...its on my blog there somewhere if you fancy a nose about. Needless to say, my health care teams along the way and my friends think Im totally nuts. Nothing wrong with being nuts in my view, one gathers so many more friends that way...he he!

Where are you at right now with your testing Traci...did you have a scan or something coming up soon - Im so sorry, Ive lost track? I hope that whatever it is brings happy results and that you are feeling well in yourself. Do you have all your Christmas decorations up yet? ha ha ha!

For the last couple of years I have been making little dolls - dotee dolls they are called, just pretty little things which you give as gifts to bring a smile to someones face. Well...I make them at all times of the year, but for the last two Christmas's I have made one for every crafty friend that I have via forums, and work colleagues and family too - to hang on their trees...totalling about 50! Usually the dolls are all different, beaded and embroidered etc, but for the festive ones they are all the same for that year and I embroider the year on the back. Well, as you can imagine, this takes some time and I havent even started this years yet....eeeek! But Ive made it a tradition now so Im going to have to get a wriggle on - I havent even decided on a design yet!  I must start thinking about those and start gathering resources....at least I have plenty of crafting leave from work ahead giving me time to get stuck in!

Ah well, was that waffly enough for you..he he...it can be a bit tricky coming up with chitchat when youve done nought all day long, but I do my best!

Now I will head over to facebook to attend to all my enterprises until my eyes give up on me!

Have a happy and peaceful Sunday ladies, with hugs and sparkles coming your way!

Sue x

squidwitch42

Sue, I still have a chance to win, it was going to be on my dime anyway

I have to say four words to you, b/c I am watching John Cleese in Fawlty Towers.

Ministry of Silly Walks.

sunnyhou

Sue

how r you today? hope you are getting some relief. Any idea on when you start treatment?

God Bless

squidwitch42

Hi Sue,

Just want to add my voice, we are thinking about you. And I won't be there tomorrow, but will try again this week for the Powerball I hope that you are moving forwards.

Sparkles, Sprinkles and Fairy Dust,

Traci

sueUK

Hi girls, I hope you are all doing well and having a good week.

Im afraid I had a total 'sense of humour' failure following Mondays treatment - infusion of bone strengthening goop...cant remember the name now. Procedure fine, and I was fine when I got home...but in the night I was in so much pain, panic attacks, throwing up (sorry..yuk)..oh the whole nine yards....then spent the best part of yesterday in bed feeling sorry for myself and moaning for England! From reading the leaflets, this would seem to be at the upper end of the scale of possible side-effects, but oh...how horrid. I know that a lot of you ladies have suffered and are suffering much worse, its a begger isnt it (understatement!)....sigh! Thankfully I am feeling a little better now..its taken all day just to get the pain meds back in me and get some control...thats the trouble when youve heaved it all up isnt it...all your pain relief goes with it...bleh! 

However, I now have a flurry of appointments and feel that my radiotherapy will be along soon. I have the assessment tomorrow - tattoos and all that, so Im wondering if my 10 days worth of zapping will commence next week? I do hope so, and I hope it does as 'promised' and relieves this pain....the novelty has certainly worn off now! What is a real worry is that the morphine has been increased and increased, and yet doesnt seem to have much effect - has anyone else found this?  

On Monday I have the first implant to shut my ovaries down.....I wonder what joyful side-effects that will bring?!?

Ah well, thank you for being here and listening....now that Ive vented, maybe I will come back a little later having found a funny side to all this....Im guessing thats a big maybe though lol!

I do hope you are all fairing a lot better just now, and am sending a good sprinkling of sparkles across the pond to help you along!

Hugs, Sue x 

LRM216

Aw, jeez, Sue, I am so sorry you had to suffer so from that treatment.  Please find out if there are any preliminary drugs, like Emend prior to Chemo, that you can take to ease that?  I just want to wish you well, and pray that you no longer ever again have to suffer as you did from this last go-around, and I wanted to say that morphine just doesn't always do it for a lot of people.  It makes them sick.  My daughter does not have cancer; however she has other serious problems and she cannot take morphine for her pain at all.  Methadone is used instead, much lower dosages, and much kinder to the tummy and body systems in general, and/or dilaudid has also been used for her pain.  I hope that you will have access to either of those drugs, and very soon.

You remain in my thoughts and am sending all positive vibes to you.

Linda 

sueUK

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts Linda and your reassurance that Im not the only person in the world for whom morphine isnt bringing the fairies to visit! I will be bringing the topic up tomorrow anyway and see what they say. Ive a feeling that just these few days, apart from the throwy up reaction to the Monday meds, my pain is being heightened by the fear of it all - every twinge is a personal attack upon me and a reminder of the nasty things that are going on. I fear that tomorrow they will tell me that actually, things are worse than they first thought...blah blah blah. However I also feel that if that does not happen and it is just routine prep for radiation, then I will feel reassured and will be able to pull myself together again, at least for a while.  

Ive looked up the name of the stuff I had on Monday - it is Zometa, which is not tecnically a chemo drug apparently. It is used for women with osteoporosis for bone strengthening and in my case can kill off the things that make things go wrong. Actually, just looking it up then and seeing all its plus points on the screen kind of made me feel better..woohoo! Every little helps eh!

It was so good to come along and find your reply Linda, thank you!

Big hugs and lots of sparkles for all who pop by. I hope I will be coming along in a more perky mood tomorrow!

Sue x

LRM216

It's no consolation, I know, but your reaction to the Zometa was quite typical.  In fact, just today on this forum (forgot which thread, but you can probably search "Zometa") I read of another gal that just had her first one and thought she was going to die.  It took her three days to feel normal again (and of course, you had the dang morphine also adding to your feeling lousy), and she even said thank God she only has to have it every three months!  Just wanted you to know so you didn't think it was only you.  Bless you sweetie, I wish you strength and perserverance and the right drugs to help you get through this.

sueUK

'No consolation' OMG Linda...I wish I could fly over there and give you a huge hug! I really did feel like I would die and do recall in the kind of mania of it all thinking I should call an ambulance...if only I had had the energy! But to hear that someone else had the same reaction....extremely sad though that is, reassures me no end. Side-effects...pah...I can do it, I know I can - when you know it is side-effects and that you will actually live to see the morning! And at least you know its having an effect!

The regular dose is given 4 weekly I understand but I will be having it 3 weekly at least to begin with (because of the size of the problem I think). But I am thinking that I am likely to have gone through my 10 doses of radiation before the next dose so I should be in a 'different place' by then anyway, if only in better shape to deal with the side-effects should it be more of the same.   

Thank you again Linda, you are a star...I shall see if I can find that post now.

Big hugs to you, Sue x