thought I had a slipped disc but then....

flash

Sue

How'd the appt with GP go? Did you have it this morning?  Any help for pain relief?  Hugs.

flash

sueUK

Hello my lovelies, it feels so good to have people looking out for me!

Traci....did you ring my doc to tell her what I needed? lol! I have been given exactly that - morphine sulphate - 1 tab twice a day 12 hours apart, then liquid morphine for any breakthrough pain. Like you said, I am starting on a low dose...cant remember what it is off the top of my head, and I will see her again on Monday. If I find that I need the breakthrough meds then she will up the dose of the tab, if not, I will stay where I am....she really is on the case now...phew! I have taken one tab and waiting for relief, I dont know how long it takes to kick in initially...I forgot to ask. Other than that, no other news except that they docs surgery have been notified that I have been referred to the oncology dept...I go on waiting for that appointment!

Those appointments will be at the local hospital Traci - Im lucky that its not very far away from me at all - only parking is the real issue! You can use half a a tank of petrol (your gas lol!) trying to find a space, then they have the cheek to charge you to park! Still, at least I wont have long journeys here and there and that is a blessing.

I adored your tales of your festive antics I must say! When I had my own house (I live with my Dad now), and my boys were young, I used to turn the house into a grotto with as many fairy lights, rope lights and as much tinsel as I could get hold off! Its so darned pretty isnt it! My Dad just isnt that interested so things have been rather minimul here...maybe this year I will have to put that right! From things we see on the tele, you Americans are fairy light crazy and I adore that...it really isnt like that here. One day I would like to visit NYC at Christmas time. I was lucky enough to take myself off to NYC about 4 years ago - I just upped and went on my own which was fabby - it was midsummer and absolutely sizzling. I love NYC and if I could move there I would be off like a shot - to me it was the most exciting place in the world! But I never did get to Bloomingdales so a return visit really is a must!  

Righty, I will leave you in peace now........Im still not sure what time it is with you just now lol! I will report in later with a pain relief report! Its so lovely chatting with you Traci...and I so welcome the hugs and good wishes from all of you, it makes a HUGE difference!

Hugs, sparkles and toodle pips, Sue xxx 

Leah_S

You didn't get to Bloomingdale's? And you claim to have visited New York? Well, obviously you have to go again! I grew up there, couldn't live there but always enjoy visiting.

I'm SO glad you have pain meds now. I'm fortunate in that I don't need anything yet, but I know that it makes all the difference in the world. I hope you find the dosage that works for you soon.

All the best

Leah

sueUK

I know Leah...it really is a shocker not to find Bloomingdales isnt it! I stayed at the Pennsylvania Hotel so Macys was just along the way...I did go in there, but didnt buy anything...it was all so overwhelming - there was a sale on and it was packed out....and HOT! I found that I wasnt so much into the shopping side of things, I just adored seeing all the sights - there is something wonderful to see around every corner, and Central Park...well...WOW! It was Paul McCartneys 64th birthday on one of the days I went to the IMAGINE wotsit at Strawberry Fields and there were hoards of people singing all the Beatles songs, it was magical! I made two big fat scrapbooks from my vist - I really ought to get them on my blog then I could show them off to you. I understand how you would say you would like to visit but not live there. I was brought up in London until I was 14, and Im the same...its okay to visit but now, I wouldnt want to live there. 

Report so far on meds...pain is so-so, but Im feeling quite shakey and weird. I think I am also feeling very anxious simply at the idea of needing morphine...that is scaring me lots, and crikey I dont even know what Im dealing with yet and have no treatment going on. Goodness, I dont know where that little rant came from lol! I guess its just one of those things that will take my mind a couple of days to absorb then I will be fine....just in time for the next shocker no doubt!!! lol!

Well, I do hope you are all having a good day. I think Im going to settle on the sofa with a kittie and a funny book.

Big hugs, and of course lots of extra sparkly sparkles! Sue x

sueUK

Good news! The hospital rang and I have an appointment with the oncologist this coming Tuesday - hooray! I asked - this will be to discuss treatment wont it, and she said yes, that was the point of the appointment and I will be able to ask all the questions I want and get things sorted. She was a lovely lady, and said I shouldnt make assumptions about the fact that I was called in for the CT scan...that most scan are done to rule things out - that was good to hear and will keep me going over the weekend. We know there are naughty things going on in the sacrum...I am just hoping my chest and liver are okay!

Update on meds - I am feeling MELLOW lol! So much so, I actually went up to my crafty room and did a little painting....now THAT is progress! While up there I rounded up a few more sparkles to blow over, and believe me..there are plenty up there (mostly ground into the carpet...lol!)

Hugs and sparkles to all!

Sue x

Octobergirl

Hi Sue,

Wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts as you await more info and will check back in after the wkend.

I'm sorry you have posted under these circumstances but I have loved reading your writing/descriptions. It's clear you enjoy life with a lot of style and a touch of magic. Whatever the next hour or day or week brings, I'm wagering you will navigate through with great elan and a sense of adventure. Kudos to you for making the trip to NYC...it's one of my favorite cities, too.

Have a good weekend!

Molly

LRM216

Sue:  So glad you have gotten some stronger meds for the pain - and will pray that they alleviate it for you.  Also happy to hear about your appt. Tuesday - finally coming down the home-stretch!!

squidwitch42

Hi Sue!

Or should I say...sparkly twinkly Sue.  I am wondering if you are in your craft room right now, dressed up in a pink ballgown, having tea with some of your creations? It's wonderful that you did a little painting, and you may be nappy right now. Pain relief is a blessing, and hopefully you will get some treatments that will bring you out of the need for pain meds. But either way, it's about reclaiming parts of your life.

So I hope you see you have a cheering section over here. I'm glad that the lady on the phone gave you some peace of mind. We will see you through this.  Keep the crafty stories coming...I like to escape too.

Sending Tina Sparkle your way, for a Strictly Ballroom day.

Traci

sueUK

Thank you once again ladies for listening to me.....are you MAD? lol!

Oh dear, my leg is 'breaking' once again....whats that all about, I thought I was going to be all better now?!? lol! Sitting down and generally lounging on the sofa...find and dandy, but try to walk, and its as bad if not worse than ever! Me thinks the dose is maybe a wee bit too small....even with two doses now of the 'breakthrough' goop...and of course I have now gone a day without my usual pain meds..cocodamol etc as instructed. Second long acting pill just taken...lets see what the morning brings, and at least I only have until Monday before I see my GP to report back on the meds Maybe they do take time to work, some things do dont they, but I forgot to ask about that bit.

I dont know about pink sparkly ballgown Traci...a tatty old pink towelling robe maybe! I just checked on my little project though and its looking so far so good. I bought a little wicker wreath in the hospital chairty shop yonks ago and Im giving it a makeover - I will add inked up flowers and leaves, the odd butterfly perhaps and whatever else I can fit on it....I tend to go at these things in same way I used to approach decorating the Christmas tree.....if you can still see any actual tree by the time Im done, Ive failed!

Crafty tales...I do have a favourite one although it might have you running for the hills wondering just what kind of nutcase you have stumbled upon! It was during my first bout of what I call 'crafting leave' (after my mastectomy) - among many normal kinds of projects, I made a whole maze book all about a particularly lovely packet of buttons that i bought. Now picture the scene...I have a drain dangling from one side of me, up to my eyeballs in pain killers and coming to terms with this rather traumatic period in my life....and Im out in the garden with my packet of buttons - POSING them down the little stepping stones, on the garden bench - the red ones picked out and scattered beneath a red geranium as if it were shedding its petals...oh the madness went on! And noone gets away from me without being roped in somehow - I had a friend who is rather good at writing little poems, so I asked her to write one for me and my buttons so that it could go in the little book. Now I do believe this creation is on my blog somewhere...would I be allowed to pop a link here - let me know if that would be out of order!   It is one of my favourite little projects and I wish I could think up something as equally daft to make a little book about now! I have a guest book for visitors to my craft room which is made out of loo roll inners - not that I let many visitors in there...well, not without frisking them on the way out anyway!

Hey, that took my mind off my bum cheek for a bit, but now I must hobble out to the kitcehn and make another cuppa - an empty cup is a sad cup!

BTW Traci, I have not seen Strictly Ballroom...sounds like its a must though!

Before I go...how was work after all Traci...I kept those sparkles coming so I do hope all was well!

Big hugs, Sue x

ps: You will let me know if there is a more appropriate place for this thread wont you...Im happy here, but I dont want to be offending anybody or making light of anyones situation! xx

squidwitch42

Sue,

I am going down to the CVS for a minute, and will write when I get back.I say you are just fine where you have posted, and I don't think you are making light of anything. We are having fun and trying not to allow your bum cheek to get a word in edgewise! I have seen many people post their blog sites to share pics. I would personally love to see your craftwork and you can PM me if you'd rather keep the traffic low.

talk to you soon! (do you have an on call MD that can give you recommendations on your med switch and titrating your dose? Id' give them a yodel...)

sueUK

I think I have pm'd you Traci....I pm'd someone anyway lol! If you manage a little peek, I would love to know what you think of my blog.

I could ring up about the med dose, but Im thinking should I give it a day or two first...I can just hear them saying, well you havent given it a chance yet missus!  Having said that, I wouldnt say no to a bum-cheek-ectomy at the moment as I have just had a coughing fit...and I dont know how it works, but crikey....that sends shock waves right to my hip!

I will look forward to checking in with your chat in the morning...it is gone 1.30am here now and I think I could use an early night..lol! I shall have some top-up goop, and a couple of paracetamol..I remembered she said that I could take those with these new meds...worth a try eh! Then rattle my way up the stairs....oh, how I wished  lived in a bungalow!

Sweet dreams all....but later for you of course!

Hugs & sparkles, Sue x

squidwitch42

Sue,

I did see you button display! Very cool, very artistic. I tried to leave you a message, but your it would not allow. I wrote you about how my Grandmother had this fabulous button bag that my sister and I would ravage when we went to see her. Very cool art, I must say. Oh, blast, you sneeze and it sends pain to your hip? I hope the paracetamol took the edge off. Yes, I see and understand that's most likely what they would say, but if you needed a med increase over the weekend, I would think two days is more than enough to determine dosing. If you kept track of how much breakthrough meds you are requiring, plus the paracetamol, and use the number system...it will give them a clue as to where to go. There is no ceiling on morphine, and I am sure they started you low. I remember after my hysterectomy, the Percocets were just not enough, and so I started on MS contin, and it was so much better (long acting morphine.)

I love how you determine if you have had a successful XMAS decorating session by if you can see the tree anymore. I bought some purple fairly lights in the Halloween display this evening...I may do a purple/gold thingy on my new "tree."  Spiritual colors

I'll see you in the morning, toodle pep!

traci

squidwitch42

Crafts After BC is good for the soul.....

Sue, I just found this thread, and thought of....YOU! I'm wondering if you would share some of your fav crafts. I'll pop around later. Wishing you a day full of magic and inspiration, free of cheeky bum pain.

traci

squidwitch42

Hi Sue,

I'm checking in on you...didn't hear from you today. I hope you are alright my friend.

sueUK

Good evening ladies

Thank you for that tip Traci...Ive a feeling I did happen upon that thread a LONG time ago, then promptly forgot all about it. I believe I did leave a post...I do hope they are not all still hanging around waiting for an answer to some long ago asked question lol!

Its been a bit of an up and down day I suppose. After just about managing to get myself to bed last night - the stairs were hellish...I did actually get a good old sleep and didnt get up until gone 1pm - some might call that lazy, others might call it falling in line with your time zones he he! I had set my alarm so that i took my pill at 10, then promptly snuggled back down...I did feel better for it and had a reasonable morning, or rather afternoon, pain wise. As the day and evening goes on though, it all gets a bit much again...and the breakthrough goop doesnt seem to have much if any effect, so Im thinking just now that the long lasting med is getting me about 6 hours into the day rather than 12. Its all being duly noted and will be discussed on Monday.

I dont know if its the meds or just a case of getting to the end of my tether, but I have found myself being just a little sharp with my Dad. He is half deaf for a start, though will not acknowledge this fact, yet wonders why he cant hear what I say over the blaring out radio or tv! The need to 'shout' back at him has suddenly worn a bit thin. Then there is the 'have you put my washing on yet' or 'dealt with this or that' - all things he is perfectly capable of doing, and I am trying to avoid spelling out the agony that I am in at times (to lessen his worry), but feel it should be blatantly obvious from the state of me....sigh! Then there are the repeated stories from the past that I have heard a million times before...I do wonder, do they really believe that they havent told you these things already? I think that is why, at times...staying in my bed seems such an attractive idea! So selfish I know - I love him to bits and wouldnt want to be without him...but you know...at times....aaaagggghhh! lol! 

Im glad you liked my button project Traci....buttons are cool, I have pots and pots of them and love using them as flower centers, holly berries, things like that - or just running them through my fingers! No crafting for me today....it was a day of 'getting through the day'. Im going to have a much earlier night (for me) and plan a more productive day tomorrow (wearing headphones if necessary lol!)

I hope you have all had good days...working, resting, playing...whatever you have been up to!

Big hugs and oodles of sparkles, Sue x

sunnyhou

Sue

I have been reading your posts from the beginning. First and foremost.. You are precious!. I can tell in your writing what a true doll you are. I love reading your posts, I can see your wonderful, cute personality all the way through. A true gem to everyone aound you I am sure!.. Also when I read your posts it reminds me of my mother. She had BC 12 years ago, stage one etc. She did Lumpectomy, rads, and then tamoxofin then femara. She began to feel like her leg was broken every time she stood on it . She had a hairline fracture in her femur. She didn't ever remember hurting it and because it was a hairline they would not treat it. They searched for mets and suspected it but it really was a fracture. She was in so much pain and even had to go to a wheelchair. We were so frustrated and eventually she did break it and got a rod in it. Every since she has been pain free and stable, no wheelchair etc. This was three years ago. The reason I write this is not to scare you that you might break something but to tell you perhaps this is not mets and possibly something to do with osteoporosis or something of this matter. I am certainly no expert. I am hopeful that you will get some answers when you meet wih the docs. In the meantime I hate  that you are in pain. I am sorry and sure hope the  medicine starts working. God Bless. and keep writing all your wonderful posts. I so enjoy reading them.

squidwitch42

Nice to hear your voice Sue. My Dad is a bit hard of hearing (harumph!) but also can have episodic deafness depending on the topic. One thing that our Dad's probably do not realize, but it takes a bit of energy and muscle tension to speak loudly. I collapsed my lung once (as one does,) and I could barely speak above normal voice for many weeks. It was exhausting to bring it up a notch.

Do exactly as you are doing, and take care of yourself! If you need to hide under the covers so be it. So you have brothers or sisters that can be of help? Sounds like you are taking care of Dad by yourself, so I am not sure if you have any home health aids available to you? or your Dad?

I guess the breakthrough goop as you call it, is really like "spitting in the wind." I think I found out it was codeine, or our T 3's over here, and so they are only going to give the morphine a little nudge at best. I'm glad you are taking such good account, as it sounds like you will be doubled in dose on Monday.

so funny about your craft post, with the ladies still waiting patiently for your reply...

I'll write back later, Tina Sparkles!

sueUK

Good morning girls from this side of the pond....and dont fall off your chairs, but I was up before 8am...or it might have been before 7 am...it just felt the right time to get up despite it still being dark...weird! It is a beautiful sunny day here now though and Im glad I didnt miss any of it. In addition..Dad doesnt get up until just gone 9...so the peace and quiet is bliss!

What a lovely post Sunny, it really warms my heart if I can bring a smile and better still, a giggle to another person and you are so kind to comment.

Traci, my Dad does suffer with pain...old age arthritic type of pain, which Im sure is so frustrating...but when at 80 years old, I cant stop him climbing up the trees to lop the tops out of them, I have to say my sympathies can run a little thin at times...lol! He does all the cooking around here, which is a good thing on the whole....but he can tend to have spates of cooking the SAME thing every day, and mostly definitely at the same time...around 2pm - and sometimes its a bit of trial facing a fry up or a full roast when Ive only been out of my bed for an hour lol! He is very set in his ways with what he will eat, so efforts that I have made to widen the repertoire have always ended up with him saying...no, Ill do the cooking again tomorrow................and my cooking is not THAT bad! lol! I must admit though, that since my situation really kicked off these last few weeks, I have had to say to him - I cant be doing with it...you cook for you, and I will nibble when I am able. That has been a huge relief for such a soppy topic, as food was becoming a nightmare scenario for me and it shouldnt (neednt) be like that eh!

I have a brother and a sister, both not too far away who are very supportive. Particularly my sister who pops in most days and will bring in anything we need and see to anything I cant handle. Although, this made me laugh...I recently bought a new bedding set...lovely soft flannel, and I managed to strip my bed and get the sheets and pillow cases sorted, but I saved the duvet and cover for her. She said that was 'playing on my condition way too far' lol...all in good fun, and of course she sorted it for me. She joins me in the rolling of the eyes when we are hearing the tales over and over too, and it does help that someone else 'gets it'! On Sundays she spends most of the day here and we do crosswords...have done for a few years now, and thats my favourite day of the week. She has no interest in crafts unfortunately, and just laughs at my need to sit and stroke pretty paper, but she does like the things that I make.

Sunny, I have to tell you...I will not be at all surprised to find that I do have some kind of fracture going on here...not that Ive ever broken a bone in my life, but its just what I imagine it feels like when the pain is at its worst, and I feel that I reall shouldnt be even trying to take steps! However, Im ready for the mets diagnosis as the MRI said 'highly suggestive' of mets to the bone marrow in the sacrum. Maybe this has caused a weakness that has led to a fracture as I have been complaining about hip pain for well over a year now, albeit nowhere near this level until recent weeks. Ive since had the CT scans and at last we will be discussing all of this on Tuesday - I really cannot wait, and of course to get some treatment underway. My only hope is that the liver and chest scans came back clear....please please please!

Well, I took my breakthrough goop when I got up as it will be 10 before I have my 12 hourly pill. I thought, maybe this will keep on top of things, and so far so good. I do need the stick to get about, but it doesnt feel like my leg will snap just yet today. The goop is liquid morphine Traci...so morphine on top of morphine!!! On the upside, it is now mostly getting about that is causing me pain (because of that 'break' Sunny!), and sitting or laying is really quite comfy - that is progress and every little helps eh!

Anyhoo...how are you all doing today? How has work been Traci - Im so glad that you have good employers too, they are worth their weight in gold at times like these arent they! I hope you all have some good weather to look forward to....lets squeeze out a few more sunny days before the winter sets in bbrrrrrr!

I am planning on having a 'good' day today...I think I might even get myself dressed now...he he...and see if I can find some mojo up in my craft room - probably hiding under a pile of ribbons or fairy dust!

Love, hugs and sparkles, Sue x   

   

squidwitch42

Hi Sue!

Let's see, you might be head on pillow right now, thinking of tomorrow's crossword puzzle day. I do remember you saying that in a previous post now that you mention. I am so glad to hear you have brothers and sisters to help you. Your Dad and my Dad sound similar in their need to go climb trees. It has come to serious fights, and it is so difficult, because on one hand, I want him to enjoy every minute. He is disabled however, from a brain tumor, so his balance is compromised. We had the fight of the century about his rolling walker that I got for him 6 years ago. He still thanks me to this day, now that he realizes I wanted him to have more freedom, not make him look disabled.

 He took a bad fall a few years back when he went rogue without the walker out in the little garden in front of his apartment ( he is in an Independent Living facility.) There was a bad ankle break, followed by steel rods. He has compromised feeling in that leg, so thank God he did not suffer the pain most would have. So my sister and I have had to really play the role of parent in telling him he can't go outside where the ground is very uneven. He gets to keep his Laz e boy chair as a compromise.:) I love him dearly though, and often wish I lived near him.

I don't think you have shared with your Dad what's been going on? I so wish you to have a good appointment with a treatment plan at the ready. I do know the goop you speak of, and really glad you have it. I'm not sure if your pain has been any better managed on the morphine? but if you are tolerating the morphine well, then increasing it should not be an issue. (make sure you take a stool softener, K?) or keep the fiber up in your diet. Sounds like you are nibbling more than anything. I can't wait for Tuesday either for you.

I pop by the childhood memory threads, and it makes me think of you. I have this wish to create a book that is all about sparkle, wonderful memories, and a way to run off to fantasy land for those of us who are facing cancer and it's difficult treatments. I like the way that you write, very engaging and it's wonderful to spend time in another place where creativity and buttons rule the day. Let me know if you have any interest...we can co-create magical world across the pond.

Today, my creativity will be about starting to ready for XMAS. I have my brick non working fireplace that serves as my picture frame so to speak. I have several Angels, 2 Golden Angel candle holders, a porcelain Irish Church, glass XMAS trees, and a few other "re-purposed" gifts that have much sparkle to them. I run white fairly lights throughout. Today, I got two new items for my display, and one is a little metal Church, colored in a turquoise green, the same color that appears on brass when it's left out in the elements and air. It has copper accents, and a cross on the top. My other find is a beautiful wooden cross, that has the turquoise overlay, and a copper cross over that, that has a gentle "swoop" at each end. I then have wooden animals, such as Deer, and birds that are part of my winter wonderland. I have these sweet little wooden sleighs that I used to put outside of the church, then my dog Delilah changed my decorating plans. Fooey.

 I had this display inside the fireplace, where I put a mirror in the back, beautiful gold and green fabric, and a mirror for the lake. She then ate my pretty cranberries and grapes. Mother was not happy. So I have to outsmart her at every turn. Our dog walks consist of my yelling NO! Drop it! half the time, and I walk into low hanging trees because I am so focused on what she will get into next. (I live in a busy restaurant/bar area in DC) Since I am on such a tangent, once when I was walking per usual, head down, looking like Sherlock Holmes at every piece of dirt and grass her nose wiggled at, when BAM! Into the tree I went. That was back when I had long hair, and I was flailing a bit, looking like Edward Scissor-hands with the crazy hair, and fighting to get free of a tree that seemed to have arms and a mind of it's own. I am also very tall, so most of the general public have better clearance than I do.  So a firetruck was going by at the time, and I could see a few of them chuckling. I guess it was quite the scene, because I walked by the firehouse later, in my bright blue turquoise rain jacket, which I had worn before during the incident. They saw me coming down the street in my bright rain gear, and a few came out to congratulate me on surviving the attack earlier.

So those are my stories for the day..I'll check in with you later, and glad you were up early to enjoy the day! Take care, and wishing you a sparkly Sunday and fun with Sister and your crosswords.  (P.S. my Sister has no use for my sparkly ways either. They know not what they miss, but mine better smile at XMAS time. My Dad has also received my arduous free form cross stitch (is that an oxymoron?) in the past, and was very pleased. I think.

sueUK

Hi all

I apologise for being AWOL for some hours...I needed a lie down after reading about your very early Christmas prep Traci...lol! Im still pretending its summer here, despite temperatures that might suggest otherwise, and Im not ready to play with the tinsel yet....as lovely as it is! Loving your funny stories as always!

Your idea for a book taking us all into fantasy land sounds very interesting I must say...if you do feel I can contribute in any way, I would be delighted to be part of something so positive Traci!

Well, the hours are ticking by! Ive had a bit of a task getting to grips with this pain relief over the weekend, but today has been my best day so far - having gulped down the goop 4 hourly whether I was in significant pain or not...it seems to have kept things under control. Tomorrow is my docs appointment to discuss this further, and I will expect an upping of the dose with the tabs...and then monitor if I still need the goop. Whatever else these meds have done, they have very much improved my mood. Well, my Dad might not see it that way as I do find I am being quite a bit more vocal about what I do and dont need...but I feel calm and at peace, and this is heavenly as you will all appreciate! I explained to my sister about how I am being with my Dad...and possibly with others, and I have told her to pull me up if I come across rude or just not nice in any way. My Dad is fully aware of whats going on Traci - I just try to minimise his worry by not shouting out in pain too much, and putting on a happy face even when maybe I dont feel like it. To have him...or any of my family come to that, falling to bits because of me, is the worst feeling of all, so to make them feel better makes me feel better. However, we were having a chat about my onco appointment on Tuesday, and I do think he is trying to convince himself that they have made a mistake and there will turn out to be no more cancer. I had to press home the point that you dont get sent to oncologists for no reason so it really is unreasonable for any of us to expect thats its all been a terrible mistake....but we can hope that it is confined to just the one area that has been identified and that treatment will sort it. Its just aswell I have found myself in an upbeat mood to be able to deal with this sort of thing eh!    

One other side-effect of the meds that has developed over the weekend - ITCHING!!! Even my eyebrows itch - oh, its here there and everywhere! I have written ITCHY in big letters on my journal pages detailing my pain levels...I wont be forgetting to inform the doc and see what she has to say about it. Maybe its something that will wear off as I get used to things, or maybe I will need another med to counteract this med...we'll see. I will need to knit myself up a pair of scratch mitts at this rate lol!

Well, its a bit short and sweet from me tonight...I think just one more cuppa and I will head for my nest. I cant believe how mega the next two days are going to be in my life - is it weird to feel excited to have finally reached this point? Im making the most of such feelings however as I suspect I will be in meltdown mode by the time Im sitting in that waiting room on Tuesday! Concentrated sparkles please...with plenty coming back at you!

Big hugs, Sue x

squidwitch42

Sue,

I had to lie down too after explaining my XMAS extravaganza You are so funny!! 

ITCHY!  Hum, I used to get the itchies on Percocet and morphine too...itchy on my nose.But not itchy like you are talking about, just tickles and itchies at different spots, mostly nose and upper torso, and right after I took my meds, lasting about 30 minutes.  I was "going under" for my hysterectomy, and my Surgeon said something to his students about watch, she will scratch her nose...and I think it was when they gave me Fentanyl. Sure enough, there I went, scratching away while he laughed. But constant itchy...not sure. Do you have any redness or rash? If not, then they may give you and antihistamine to take, with the hope it will go away soon.

I understand about wanting to put on a good face for Dad and family. I also try not to stress out my Dad especially after Sister tore me a new one. He is probably terribly worried, so it's the little things of normalcy that gives them relief (making him a button corsage and the like.) My was of showing all is well is by being wacky and getting excited about the little things (puzzles or watching an old movie with Dad.)

I'm am so glad you are feeling calm and at peace. Pain that is not controlled wreaks havoc on a person's mood and ability to function. I would imagine that you are getting a little pain relief for the first time, and you should be able to even focus better. Good for you for not letting your pain get to high before taking your medication. When someone is in crisis, it takes twice as much medicine to get them out of crisis. Kudos for taking good care of yourself.

So tomorrow, then Tuesday I know is the big day. What time of the day is your appointment? I want to see if I can send you sparkles across the pond at the appointed hour.

So, about the book. I was actually hoping you would write it, and I would take credit? Does that sound fair? I kid I kid...I bet we could have a great collaboration, and I have been noodeling on the format. I am all ears, the premise being stories or meditations that brings the reader into another world where they can escape in their mind. So I am open to all ideas, and let me know when or if you even want to think on it. I want you to use it only as a welcome distraction.

O.K. I am off to my fantasy world, where the men are gorgeous and totally in love with me. sigh.

Toodle pep, and sparkles all around. Talk to you tomorrow, BIG OLD HUGS! traci

sueUK

Well, its shaking in my boots time as I have just one more sleep before finding out all sorts of things I didnt reallywant to know in the first place!!!  It is midnight here now and my appointment is at 10.25 am. The 'mellow' is being taken over by the horrible feelings that we all know too well, BUT my doc tripled my MST dose today to 30mg twice a day...so Im guessing that will at least guarantee me a good sleep...phew! Sleepless nights really are the longest nights arent they So I guess before I know it, I will be back home and will know whats what....whatever the heck that is going to be....SO scary!

The good news is that my sister is going to take me to the hossie, and will come in with me if I want that at the time. Im not sure if that is being mean to her or not - tricky one that?!

Anyway my lovelies, witty stories fail me this evening, but I sure hope to be catching up with some tomorrow. You take care all, and thank you so much for getting me this far!

Big hugs and oodles of sparkles, Sue x  

squidwitch42

Hi Sue,

We are here at your side, and you will be back from your appointment before I go to work, if you want to share. I can only imagine how hard this is, and just let yourself shake if need be. You will not topple. Your family there and here won't let you fall. I'm glad your sister will be there with you, and that your pain management will most likely be much better now. I know there are no words that can change this, and that this is a hurdle to go over so you can get your plan going. You are very much on my mind Sue, and I wish you the best possible news tomorrow, may it be better than your fears. Big Big Hugs and Oodles of Sparkles right back at you my friend. I expect your Guardian Angel to be on point!

jacksnana

Hi Sue,

I have been following your posts for the last several days and I join with many others in sending you hugs, prayers and positive, healing vibes.  Your wonderful attitude and way with words has inspired me and lots of others, I am sure.  Here's hoping that the news you get at the doctor will be ever so much better than you fear.  I'm going to light a candle for you right now...   Veda

Anonymous

Thinking of you...

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1.03.01

hbcheryl

Hi Sue,

I spent yesterday reading your thread and just want to add my good wishes for tomorrow, hopefully you are getting a good nights sleep and I'm so pleased that your sister will be with you for support.

Cheryl

squidwitch42

Sue,

It's close to 1 AM here, so 7 AM there? There are a bunch of us supporting you, so I wanted to send one more message of best wishes for today. and BIG BIG HUGS with Sparkles galore. Take care, and talk to you soon.

traci

sueUK

Good morning from a sunny but chilly UK

Thank you again for all your good wishes - they will all be coming with me...so they had better have a big enough room for them!

Foolishly last night I did a bit of last minute googling and all I seemed to find was doom and gloom - or maybe I was seeing it all that way...silly sausage, I should have steered clear! I did manage a good sleep though and woke at about 6.30...I got up straight away as laying there would only have brought more shake rattle and rolling....well, perhaps not so much of the rolling!

Positive thoughts are a bit tricky when the news might not turn out so good, and on the other side - bad thoughts are just plain horrid. SO my strategy now is to think NO thoughts at all - since I figured that one out, I have felt a little calmer...so whatever gets us through eh!

Only 2 hours to go now...that really is SOON isnt it! Too soon, not soon enough...I dont know, Im wrecked?!? Oh my, lets hope those sparkles really will work their magic today1

Big hugs, Sue x

  

BarbaraA

Sue, big (((HUGS))) to you from the sunny west coast of Florida! Please let us know how you get on!

Poppalicious

Hi Sue, hope you have room for my well wishes as well - all the best for the appointment!