You know you're a cancer patient when....

Anonymous

YKYACPW no one ever ever never gets to scorch your omlette or made your eggs wrong again.

YKYACPW on your fireplace mantle you have the painting you did of a skunk walking under a full moon, glitter dust and all, a really really bad painting but it's yours and if you on;y have a year to look at it, you will.

YKYACPW you are eating a chocolat bar and say, omg I forgot to take my metformin - but not bcz of diabetes - you take it so the cancer cells don't get so much energy from the sugar, esp if you aare eating what you should not be eating, like me now.  Where is that Metformin?

Nightnurse

YKYACPW.......your friend starts complaining about her terrible medical problems with gastric reflux, and your response, "Is that all?"  So much for being a supportive bff!

gardengumby

nightnurse - that is funny!!! 

Fitz33

YKYACPW your hair has grown back in curly and you respond "It is NOW!" and realize you don't know what to say for that emphasis on now. oops. Tell them you had cancer, you don't know why you answered that way when of course it's naturally curly...everyone can see that, or like me just stared at them and didn't know what to say so just turned away and laughed.

SelenaWolf

When the very young, very nervous student-technologist apologetically asks your permission to touch your breast lightly as he places a tattoo on your sternum and you think, "... seriously ...?  They've been groped, kneaded, squashed, pierced, sliced, diced, scanned and probed by just about every health practitioner in the friggin' city, and you're worried about 'touching' it ...?"  What a nice boy!

mom2twins34

YKYACPW you can drop your breast on the bathroom floor

AND then wash it off in the sink

[This happened the other day when changing out of my swimsuit at the indoor waterpark.  I was washing it off when a little girl walked in & saw me & asked, horrified, "Is that your boob?  Did it come off???"  I felt bad!] 

sas-schatzi

Badger--hello.........I believe there is a law that they are required to change inaccuracies in the medical record. You likely have to write a letter stating details. They shouldn't charge you for this, they may try. Good Luck. sas

Anonymous

They changed my records.  The hospital had me with longterm bc, when I had only discovered it.  Really messed up my insurance for awhile..... who am I kidding, it is still messed up for many reasons.

YKYACPW you refuse to pay for an ovarian cancer test for $112.  Put a lien on my house, I don't care.  Take me to court.  I will not pay it.  I had a mass, I had a mammo and US the same day and those made the techs cry and my GP go nuts.  I deserve the ovarian cancer test, ep when I had 3 of 4 symptoms.

Good one about the boob falling on the floor, sad to say, but that was unimaginablly good humor for this disease.

surfdreams

YKYACPW.... you're a master of camoflage - but not the green leafy kind. From the hair, to the makeup, to the types of clothes to disguise a lopsided figure to the shoes being adjustable to keep up with the swollen ankle/feet, etc. People might say - I can't believe you have cancer/are having chemo - you look so good. No I don't. I look like hell. I'm just camoflaged.

barsco1963

YKYACPW...... you can lose weight instantly just by taking off your bra!

Fitz33

Barsco....hahahahaha. 

 YKYACPW you answer the door without thinking that you don't have anything to even out the sizes of both breasts from a lumpectomy and the man at the door stares at your boobs and you only cover the one that had the surgery. 

Denise-G

YNYACPW you attend a wedding right after your diagnosis, and you hear someone whisper to your camera-crazy friend, "Get some pictures of HER we don't know how long she will be with us" and more pictures are taken of you than the bridge and groom!

badger

YKYACP when your belly jiggles but your boobs don't. 

Learned that when powering up an incline while walking this morning.

hey SAS, they fixed my med record by noting the Feb'10 BMX but the nurse had to do a manual override in the system cuz she couldn't delete the Oct'10 mammo.  I gripe about the system but ya know it's still better than filling out my doc's paper form every frickin time I'd go to see him.  He's been my doc since 1990.  Hoping the electronic med record will stop questions like when was your last tetanus booster?  IDK, you tell me!  You gave it to me.  Look at my doggone chart!

Denise2730

Can you take melatonin when you are taking Ativan?

Sian65

When, after turning up at school for the first time without a scarf showing my 2 cm hair that has come back grey.... a 5 yr old stares and stares and finally says in a tiny voice "you look like a baby grandma"...... causing you run off to do a temporary dye job and the little darling stares again at you to say "now you just look like a baby"!

Leah_S

I found out that a mistake in my med records wasn't corrected. When I had my mx, an intern in pre-op asked about past surgeries. I told him one was a hysteroscopy in Jan 1991 but the Bright And Shining Star typed in hysterectomy. Um, I've had 2 more children since then!

Leah

NativeMainer

My drug guide says that melatonin and ativan can increase the drowsiness from each, an additive effect.  On the other hand, I've been taking the 2 together for years now, and since sleepiness is what I want I don't consider that a negative side effect! 

sas-schatzi

Badger and Leah, My counselor reviews the previous set of notes under preview mode, once that I agree that they are correct, he files under enter. From that point they can't be altered. It's similar to a hospital record. Once they hit enter, changes to the permanent record are locked out i.e can't be over-ridden. This is good in that the doc or anyone can't alter your permanent medical record. This is a definite plus, if they did something wrong--they can't alter it i.e. malpractice. They can amend by date and time with correct info, but whose to say the stupids that read the record, read it well enough to see the amended. At least you have the satisfaction of saying" it's in the amended section, it had to be corrected b/c it was entered wrong the first time."

There was a malpractice case against a gyn doc in the 90's(?). He lost b/c he changed the medical record by adding something and admitted it on the stand in court. The ruling was that --"he had altered a record, if he had dated and timed the new entry he would not have been liable, but since he did not it was illegal". The jury award was about  1.5 million. Badger your nurse didn't understand this b/c she tried too, but couldn't alter the original. There are some things they don't teach well in nursing school or after in continuing education or in staff meetings. BUT they do put "Guardrails"--safety limits in the computers. Those still doing things by paper can be troublesome and do things illegally.

I worked for a hospital that would send out notes from the Medical Records Department that medical records needed to be completed. When I did my first one, I dated and timed for the day and time I made the new entry. They got all up in arms, I said I wouldn't unless I dated it and timed for entry at point of change. It was either that or I wouldn't make the addition. BUT all others docs and nurses blithely altered the records back to date of occurrence. They didn't realize the jeopardy they were putting themselves in. I'm sure that facility is in the computer world now.

 The solution to the problem: That each patient gets to review the History and Physical, and office note before they are permanently filed with a statement to that effect and perhaps a signature. A bit more work may be, but accuracy would improve. Liabilty would go way down.

sas-schatzi

Denise, I agree with NM, I have been taking melatonin and ativan for sleep for a year. Best sleep in several years. Clear it with your doc and start at lowest dose of each, with your doc setting the highest dose limit allowed when taking both. Take at same time each night and go to bed at the same time --allow for at least 7-8 hrs of sleep. If taken too late at night you will feel drowsy in the a.m. After a period of being absolutely regular at time of sleep, try to reduce dosage of one ,then the other. Do it slowly, allow your body to readjust. You may be pleasantly surprised to find that you can get to lowest dose or eliminate entirely. The worst for me is a late night show comes on and I want to see it. But I have learned at this late time in life, the show will come around again, it's not worth breaking your routine. ------Am I absolutely faithful --no--but much much better than I was before.

barsco1963

YKYACPW - "Stuffing" your bra takes on a whole new meaning!

barsco1963

Denise - Sorry you had to hear such an insensitive comment about the pictures. Maybe you can compare the pics from the wedding to some pics in 10 yrs from now and show them how you haven't changed a bit!

kittycat

YKYACP... When your signature is longer than your posts and it scares you to see how many procedures you have.  And you wonder, does BCO have a max???  LOL!

gardengumby

kittycat - after you posted I had to read your long signature...  If you had a BMX in 2009, what was there to do a lumpectomy on in 2010???  Just curious....

kittycat

I got diagnosed with bc again.  It is extremely rare to get bc after a bmx, but I did.  They found it in my fake boob, where I had bc the first time.  It was spreading through the scar capsule.  They did an excisional biopsy and removed the 3 small lumps in one surgery.  They did not get clear margins, so I went in a week later and they removed more of the scar capsule and 10 lymph nodes (which were all clear - thank God).

gardengumby

god that sounds just TERRIBLE.  It's so good they found it, though!!!!....... 

So, YKYACPW - you get terrible news and still try to find a bright side.  Yeah, I got cancer, but at least it wasn't..... (whatever sounds worse at the moment).... 

kittycat

I actually found the little lumps while taking a shower.  I moved over my foob to shave my armpits.  It was so scary!!!  I'm just glad it was found early and hope that I never get BC again!!!

gardengumby

AMEN!!!

badger

((kittycat))

YKYACP when there's an even number of women in your group but an odd number of breasts.

NativeMainer

I had to read that one twice!  LMAO!!!

shells43

Ha Ha!!!