Calling all TNs

mccrimmon324

Lovelyface, I am very happy to hear your good news.  The fact that your getting a biopsy just so no one steps on anyone's toes and the doc thinks it will be negative is wonderfull.  Please don't feel bad about posting.  I think right now we all could use some good news. 

laurajane

MBJ called me back and said she had thought about it and she would be more than honored to receive a laptop. She was so appreciative. I know for a fact that if I were in her shoes my immediate response would have been the same. I can think of many times I personally turned down help because I was to embarrassed or proud to receive it. Luckily my good friends know this and don't even ask. I should have thought of that. So I have a pay pal account if anyone wants to pm me I will forward the info to anyone that wants to pitch in. If it turns out that there is any extra money I will forward that to Mary to help with her bills as I know she will need it. Please let me know if you would like a reciept for tax purposes. I feel good about this it makes me feel like I am doing something to help. You know what I mean? Thanks you guys. I'm feeling good and will be taking full advantage by going out with friends again and hearing a Cuban/ Latin band tonight. I'm not quite ready for the dance floor but my foot will be dancing under the table. LOL

LRM216

LJ: 

Send Mary all my love, and send me your pay pal info.  I'm not too familiar with pay pal as I never use it, but I want to send something towards the laptop and will do so immediately upon finding out how the hell to do it!

Love,

Linda 

Titan

LJ..could you pm me your address so i can send a check..guess I need your full name too! Are we just going to send Mary some $$ so her DH can go out and buy her a laptop?  I'm sure she has access to cable or WIFI?  

Lovelyface..NEVER EVER BE afraid to post good news on here!...Good News is..well..good news!  We all need to hear the good news to celebrate and we need to hear the bad news too..

We are all together in this crap shoot

and here I go again...FUCK CANCER!

Teka

Hi Everyone,

I am only passing by and sorry that others continue to suffer through BC treatments.   Sweet dreams )

laurajane

Good morning ladies. I whimped out last night and only had dinner and then came home. I just wanted to get in my jammies and watch tv. I'm feeling amazingly better. I am so happy this Halavan is working so well. My tumors and skin mets are shrinking daily. My edema has gone down and I've been able to decrease my pain meds. I'm still on bookoo antibiotics but it's keeping me out of the hospital which is so nice.

Welcome PCollins- so happy you had clear margins. I know it's been a rough journey but we are here for you.



Lovelyface- how sweet of you to share those lovely poems. I'm glad you are moving in the right direction and hope your biopsy brings you good news.



TifJ- I appreciate your offer but I think I will buy a new laptop and if for any reason she could take it back to the store it was purchased at. There are best buys every where at least for a while. Thanks again.



Babs- I thought my onc looked kind of nervous on the tv but it was fun seeing her. I was hoping she was going to talk about TNBC.



I hope you all have a great day. I have some clients coming by to see my display gardens today. Funny, with all of the beautiful days we have had , today it is raining.

LRM216

LJ: Just sent the money off - and sent you a pm regarding same.  Thanks for the info.

Love,

Linda

laurajane

LRM216 and Mccrimmon thank you so much for putting money in the account I set up for MBJ I think this will really cheer her up to be able to get back online. I'm hoping to be able to pick up the laptop on Monday. I guess I'll wait and see how many people want to put money towards it. I hope everyone is having a good week end. It's still rainy here and I'm struggling to get in a better mood. I know I should be happy that I am doing better but my physical limitations kind of depress me. My pump went out in my koi pond and just going out and trying to fix it and doing a partial water change just hurt like crazy and you'd think I ran a friggin marathon race or something. This was enough to actually bring me to tears so then I get depressed wondering why I am so depressed when a week ago I didn't even have the stamina to even walk out to the pond. I'm usually able to think positive and I try so hard to stay upbeat but for some reason I just feel really sad today. Maybe it's a delayed reaction or something. I just really need a hug right now and there isn't anyone around. Argg! WLAN is me, I hate it when I get like this. Anyway thanks for letting me share. I promise my next post will be more uplifting it just feels better to get this off my chest. Thank you.

Laura

TifJ

Never say you're sorry for venting- that's why we are all here!

laurajane

Thank you, Tif for helping MBJ out. I know she will be grateful. Hope you're having a good day.

TifJ

Thanks Laura! Cold and rainy here- so we are painting my daughter's bedroom pale pink. She wants to do the zebra stripe and hot pink decor. She is only 6 and already a little diva!

Hope you are having a good day as well!

mccrimmon324

Laurajane, please post whatever you want, upbeat or vent!!  Sometimes you just have to let it out to feel better!!!  So sorry your having a tough time today but happy for you that your doing more than you did last week!!  Sounds like Havalen is doing its job!

LRM216

LJ:  Am sending that hug you so need via the cyber skies.  Hope you can feel my arms around you.  You are doing great - anything better than last week is better, right????  Hang on to that positive.  I've got nothing wrong (that I know of!) and by the time I brought all the groceries in, put them all away, and cooked one of those frozen Bertoli skillet dinners for Bryanna, I too felt as though I ran a freaking marathon too!

Girls, if you are sending money to LJ for MBJ, please do so as soon as you can so LJ doesn't have to lay it all out herself.  I don't think any of us are rolling in the green, so to speak, but even if you can only send $10 or $20, that would be a big help.  Thank you!

christina1961

Laura,

Just sent you something to the computer fund. I got the check I was waiting on today so I didn't have to wait until Monday. Thanks so much for doing this!! 

Also, please don't ever feel bad for posting whatever you want to post! We are all here for each other. I really like what Susan said about us all being joined together forever in some way.  There is something very comforting in that to me.

 Life has changed so much, and every moment is precious.  I dragged myself around the track today as I haven't walked in some time during this chemo. It was good to hear the frogs singing and watch a noisy geese love triangle. Found some great garlic nan at the grocery store and made some lentil soup with onions, garlic, carrots, turnips, green beans, tomatoes, and potatoes in the slow cooker.  I think I'll make some cornbread to go with the soup.

Suze35

LJ - I pm'd you, but wanted to make sure you knew I sent some $$ on as well. You are an angel for setting this up!



Christina - I'm not religious, but very spiritual. We have a knowledge now that I truly feel transcends time and place. While leaving my life here scares me so much, I take comfort in knowing I have true sisters waiting for me on the other side. Corny, I know, lol.

Lynn18

Suze, not corny at all.

bak94

All of you are truly amazing women! I strive to live my life like many of you do. I just find myself so down much of the time and really need to follow the examples you all set. I have been very sad lately with all the sad news and also I have not been feeling well for awhile, sometimes I just wonder what it is all for. Why all of this suffering? It is times like this I wish I was more religious or spiritual. Not saying that I am not at all, just that I have no strong convictions one way or the other. Why can't life just be easy? Well, if not easy, why does it have to be so hard and sad? I don't think my philosphy class is helping me! it is just making me question more!

Titan

Suze..not corny...I'm with you with the spiritual thing...but sometimes it is so hard..a year or so ago my husband and I were walking on the beach and it was raining and windy and the sun was out and it was a totally awesome experience for me...I still remember that moment..I felt so ALIVE..but then I read things on here and have a friend's daughter who has Stage 4 tn...she is only 25...and I just wonder freaking why...what do you do..close yourself out from all the bad things or just try to face reality..it so hard.

Some people call it building "character"...well..I think we all have enough "character" to last us a long time...

LRM216

Susan:

OMG, not corny at all.  Thinking as you do, is what keeps us going.  While I am still so fearful of "how" I am going to die, since my daughter's death, I am not "afraid" to die, as I know she will be there waiting for me.  It was a pact we made when hospice started to come to our home, that should she pre-decease me (which was so enormously impossible for me to even grasp), that her face would be the very first and only face to appear to me at my moment of death.  I want her hand to reach out for me, not my husband's, not my dad's - just hers.  Of course, I loved my husband dearly, and my father was always the beacon of my life, but my daughter - my child - I just want her.

Bak:  While it's so hard to be feeling as you do, and we can all relate to it, you have been through so very, very much and still don't feel well.  It's only normal to be feeling as you do.  I can only imagine the toll going through all this $hit, not once, but twice, has taken on you emotionally and physically.  I wish I could fast-forward this whole period of time for you so that you are finally healed and back on two steady feet (if in fact any of us every truly get back to two steady feet). 

May today be kind to all of us,

Love,

Linda

mccrimmon324

Suze, not corny at all...  I have always feared death and the unknown.  My parents were not religious or spiritual. I have had to develop my own beliefs and as an adult do find that I am more of a spiritual person.  My mother passed away unexpectantly about 5 years ago, I was so grief stricken I could hardly function. 

My mother lost her leg to diabetes in 04' and loved, loved, loved animals, the day after she passed I was driving to her house and a stray dog ran out in front of me.  I tried to catch it for some time before I had to give up.  I sat in my car for a while and cried to my mom that I was so sorry I couldn't get him home, I was sorry that I didn't help her as much as I should have, especially after she lost her leg.  When I stopped for gas later an older lady asked for help using her card at the pumps.  We got to talking, she was very grateful for my assistance as it was hard for her to walk on the prostetic leg of hers.  Again I broke down in tears, she was so very sweet, gave me a big hug and cried with me.  She said to me, see your mother sent me to you so you would know she's still with you.  

The reason for the story, I KNOW in my heart and soul that I will see my mother again.  I don't know what the future holds for me, I am still terrified but I have no doubt that my family, my husband & I will all be reunited in the end.  I even hold out hope that freddy, our first dog is waiting for us.

That's corny.  but it's what gets me thru the day sometimes.

mccrimmon324

Titan, It breaks my heart and makes me sick to know someone at the ripe age of 25 is stage IV TN.  I pray that this new vaccine their working on is our new cure.  I pray every F'ing day.

laurajane

Good morning ladies. Today is going to be a good day. I'm making sure of it. Just thought I'd let you know that I've requested a good day for each of you too!



First of all I want to thank Raider Dee, Lynn 18, Suze 35, mitt Muffin, Swanny and Christina 19 for contributing to the fund for MBJ. If I have forgotten anyone please pm me. I've thanked some of you all ready. I would like to sign MBJ's card with all of the correct names.



Christina- I loved how you posted the positives of your day. It made me smile. "hearing the frogs" really made me think of spring. We have the spring peepers here and I always know it's finally spring when we hear them



Suze- so not corny!



Bak- I wonder about my own spirituality sometimes too. I asked my healer a few weeks back when my cancer was so bad if he thought I should start going to church and he said " I've never heard of a building saving anyone" . I hope this doesn't offend anyone. I've always been very spiritual and believe in doing the right things in life, love, don't judge ( struggle with this one) and try to be the best loving person I can, appreciate all that life has to offer ( struggle with this too) etc. I believe in karma. For some reason I am going through this BC for a reason unknown to me and I truly want to live life to the fullest.



LRM- you write so eloquently and straight from the heart.



McCrimmon- your story brought tears to my eyes.



I wish I could take all of the pain away from each of you and wish I could fill all of your hearts with happiness.

M

eva57

Laura send me the pay pal info too and I will send something too

You are all strong amazing women and if I can draw just an ounce of your courage I will get through this crud

Suze35

You all are so amazing, thank you for all the lovely stories and memories of your loved ones. Laura, I too feel I am living THIS life for a reason, and I will know it eventually.



Linda, I have no doubt your beautiful daughter will be the first soul you see to help you make that transition.



I told my BFF to always leave a bottle of Chardonnay on her counter, and when I'm thinking of her, I will find a way to move it front and center .



I am headed for the boat today and won't be online until Friday. May you all have a fantastic week!



Susan

mitymuffin

Suze, Sweet breezes and happy sailing to you!

laurajane

Thank you, Tisthyme and Sugar for donating to MBJ' s laptop fund. I am hoping to purchase her laptop tomorrow. I am really hoping this will cheer her up.

Sugar77

Laruajane - thanks so much for doing this.  Have you heard from MBJ this weekend?  Wondering how she's doing.

ksmatthews

Laura did you get mine?  I donated last night..

minxie

Oh, it just breaks my heart to hear about MBJ Been a rough few weeks financially and emotionally so I broke down and renewed my anti-anxiety pill prescription. LJ please tell MBJ I'm thinking about her and I'll be PM'ing you for info to contribute something!

Suze and LJ, I'm glad you guys are doing better with the latest meds - you're both in my thoughts daily as well.

I've been plagued lately with nightmares about doctors, hospitals, machines, darkness. Last time this happened I did EMDR therapy and it helped. I should probably look into it again. I did want to share, for those of you that know about this thearapy... when the electrodes were going and I was closing my eyes and letting my mind sort of free-associate... it would always turn to my dear grandmother, who died of a brain tumor back when I was in my teens. I loved her and she loved me. Going to her house would always bring a deep sense of peace over me and my mother said I'd always pitch a fit when it was time to leave  

During the therapy I'd see myself alone, down on the table in the dark biopsy room, waiting for the doctor to come in and I was crying, crying,crying. And then the ceiling would open up and the warm sunlight would pour in and I'd be lifted up and out by my gramma and we'd sit together in a beautiful sunlit conservatory filled with little birds and the plants and trees we both loved. I have no religious beliefs, I don't know what will happen when I go, but it makes me happy to think of being with her again. Peace -

Paintingmywaythru

Susan enjoy your travels....hope you all have a wonderful time

Laura thanks so much for organizing and arranging for a computer for Mary. I jsut pm'ed you for your paypal account info.

I started a yoga class for cancer survivors...the average age was 70+ and I think I was the least able to do the mvements. Didn't realize how tight my right side had become post surgically.

Lovelyface....heres to 100% good news.

I am feeling the sun and loving it. My son is home with me today and it is so nice. I am taking him to the train to go back to Boston later today. I truly hope to paint some this afternoon.

I have a piece in the Newport Museum of Art right now and laughed at where they put it. Even museums don't know what to do with outsider art.

Have a terrific day ladies.

Peace and love.