Calling all TNs

laurajane

Hi all of you wonderful ladies. I appreciate how much how all of you have been here for me. I haven't been on in a while and will do some serious catching up on this thread this evening and tomorrow.

I've run the mile as they say. I just got put on Halavan yesterday the Navelbine didn't work either. I'm hoping this one will slow the FC down at least a little. Tumors still growing and skin mets spreading which is good because it is easy to see if the chemo is working. If it was all internal we wouldn't know. The MRI showed activity in my spinal fluid (Whatever that means) but the bonescan didn't show any actual tumors yet. That's good I've been told. The aggression of my cancer however does mean that unless this chemo works and it does hit my vitals I will only have a week or two. I currently have increased pain in my liver and my feces has looked abnormal for about a week. It may have already hit. We shall see. I asked my onc how long she thinks I have and she said that her estimation which is something that she says she never does is probably a month maybe two at best if this chemo doesn't work. She does know of women that have lasted another 3 months on this though. I hope to break the record. She also said and I met with another onc also and they said I am in much better shape than most woman on this Halavan because my cancer overrode the other chemos so quickly. I guess other woman have been on these other chemos longer so they are in worse shape as far as bone marrow, nuropathy etc. The other good news is that I haven't felt all that great today (Might mean chemos working!). I've been on the toilet since last night and now realize that my focus should have been on remodeling the bathroom and not the kitchen. LOL. I told her I had planned on remodeling my kitchen and it would take a couple of months and she said I should put that on another burner and enjoy cooking in the one I have. LOL I had "The Talk" with my daughter and son. My sweet son told me he was going to just enjoy the time we had that he thought I would be here forever. I explained to him exactly what was going on and he said "He wasn't going to wait around for it to rain" I asked him he mean't and he said it was like how some people sit around on a sunny day waiting for it to rain, and he wasn't going to do that he was going to enjoy the time we have and we should not sit around and cry we should just enjoy the time we have together and treat life as we normally would. I showed him how to iron his shirt today and that was so much fun for me. He just turned 18.My daughter and her husband had the trailer they bought moved on to the farm they bought. Life is goo. They are moving all of their things into their trailer today and then are going to come over tonight for dinner. I am so happy for them. They bought a beautiful piece of land with a creek running through it and they are going to live in the trailer that's actually bigger then my small bungalow while they build their house. I am so happy for them. I got an incredibly big hug from my grandson today. Life is indeed "Fabulous". Just sharing some of the Good" things that happened to me today. I hope you all had something good happen to you today also. Love to all of you.

lwarstler

Heidi, if you copy and paste the link seperately it will go to the page...

Suze...they are amazing!

swiftbird

laurajane, i'm not quite sure what to say except thank you for sharing and keeping us updated.  i don't post often, but have been checking in on you... and amazed at your grace. your son is full of your grace, that is clear....what a gift. this will work!!! (btw - i am an impatient woman... and have often been stuck in the bathroom, tapping my foot, while chemo does its thing and wondered the same - you made me laugh out loud with questioning your time and $ investment in kitchen... i've wondered at fancy resorts why the would put tv's in bathrooms. well, now we know huh??) 

belleeast

laurajane, thinking of you,praying and sending positive thoughts that this treatment kicks the s**t out of this f***ing cancer.

your son sounds like a remarkable young man with an amazing attitude just like his mother. you must be very proud of him and i hope you realize you have done a great job raising you children. here's to your being around a long,long time to enjoy many, many hugs from more grandchildren!!!!!

gillyone

LJ - thanks for the update. Enjoy your days with your family - and may the days last for years.

Titan

Totally off topic here..but if you watch X-Factor..there is a guy named Josh Krajcik on there that is from my home town..not only home town but the same High School..that I went to..and my kids...he is totally amazing!

Babs37

Laurajane- Your attitude is just amazing. Enjoy every moments with your kids and grandson because yes, our kids....our families makes our lives fabulous indeed. Take care.

Anonymous

LJ- Carpe Diem

OBXK

Laurajane - I love your son's attitude. I hope you shatter all records!

Suzy - what a great husband! Hope you enjoy your time in the city.

Hope everyone has a"good" day tomorrow.

Teka

laurajane,

There has been good results with Halaven.  

christina1961

Laurajane,

Thank you for updating us on how you are doing.  I hope the eribulin does the trick.  I am considering going into a trial with eribulin and from what I understand it has a novel mechanism of action. My oncologist was impressed that it outperformed adriamycin as a single agent in the recent trial that got so much publicity.  I am so sorry you are going through this and you have so much grace and gratitude.  I've gone through a period recently where I feel judgemental and angry at people who aren't enjoying every little moment of their lives - but before my diagnosis I took so much for granted, too.  The traffic jams don't get to me like they used to and every night I play a nature recording of crickets on my cell phone as I go to sleep. Love to you across the miles from Tennessee.

mitymuffin

LauraJane, Through my tears, know you have my utmost admiration for the way you are living each day. Your son's attitude reflects you, and you have reason to be proud of your son and daughter, and grandson. In showing them how to live every moment you are giving them the greatest of gifts.

Lovelyface

Laurajane, what lovely children you have raised.  Congratulations to your daughter, her situation sounds wonderful.  And your son has learned to iron his shirt with his amazingly strong and courageous mother, how wonderful is that?  Halaven may be the answer!  Sending you love and hugs!

TifJ

LauraJane- You are an amazing woman. Your family obviously thinks so too. Something as simple as showing your son how to iron a shirt says volumes about you as a wonderful mother. May each day bring you happiness and joy in some way. We are all thinking of you and praying that the new treatment works.

Titan

I just read your post Laura Jane...we are with you all the way...you break those records ok???

I hate this f''ing.cancer...please..can someone tell me WHY...?

LRM216

LJ:  If I could fly to you, pick you up, bring you here to Georgia and hide you from this F*cking Cancer - I would do it in a heartbeat.  It breaks my heart to have to read your post, yet I cannot help but feel that both your spirit and heart are so indomnitable, that this new round of treatment just has to kick this crap to the curb.  It is just so frightening that this beast of a disease can take the turns it does and become so impervious to treatments.  I am going to continue to hope and pray that this one does it for you.  I am wishing beyond words that the outcome will be positive.  You mean the world to all of us, and with all of us wishing and hoping - I can't believe that won't count for something.  You are a wonder, LJ, and I admire you so for what you are going through, and to still be able to spread hope, love, joie de vivre and compassion to all. That is not a human trait one sees in someone with such burdens on their back (with the exception of Suze, another totally amazing woman, mother, wife, daughter, friend - and much loved sister to all of us, also fighting her own battles so valiantly).

Suze - enjoy those beautiful shoes and that trip to NYC.  If I attempted to wear those shoes, I would need to be on crutches to help me walk in them!  So glad to hear that the 12th is the day and we all will be so relieved to see that the treatments will have begun after all this time.  Please know that you will have an army of arms holding you up at DF - and those arms will be all of us - even if only in thoughts and prayers for a smooth and successful journey. 

TifJ:  So sweet of you to think of me.  I'm living and doing - have to for the kids even when I don't feel like it - but that's all good - it forces me out of the "funk" - and of course, the realization that my daughter is smiling down on all of us helps greatly.  This was her favorite season and we did so much together - and this fall - I am doing them alone, without her, with and for the kids - building new traditions that include Tiffany, yet incorporating her in everything we do, and everywhere we go that she is no longer with us.  I miss her so much and still want so badly to pick up the phone and call her - I would be so happy if, even if I can't ever see her in this lifetime, I could just speak to her.  Christmas scares the bezeezus out of me, but she loved it so much and did so much to make the holidays special, in her honor, and for the kids "new" traditions, I will continue it for her and for them (and for me too), knowing she is still with us in her own way.  Even death can't take that away from us.

Sending love to everyone else on this thread, hope to those that may be "down" right now -  to the newbies just beginning - sending promises that "this too shall pass," and to all of us - peace and serenity as we all forge forward!

Linda    

bak94

LJ, sounds like you have such a wonderful family, glad they are doing so well and are suporting you with such love. I am sure the news from your mo was not easy to absorb, it is great the you are in good shape and hopefully soon one of these chemos will be the one that works.

Suze, I didn't see the shoes! I will have to copy and paste like suggested. Yor DH definitly had a big "D" in front of the H!

Peddlerswife, I was suppose to find out about ssdi on Oct. 4th, but I didn;t get an answer. I called again and they said they have until the end of this month to let me know. What I saw on the ssdi website said if you had im nodes positive or stage 3c (maybe it was stage 3b) that you could qualify for ssdi, I have im nodes positive. What stage is your daughter? There is also a 6 month waiting period where you are only allowed to make a maximum amount of money, it is either 700 or 1000, I forget that too, but fall into that category with the amount I have been working. Doesn't seem right that they can let your daoughter go.

bak94

I saw the shoes!!! Those are cute! Did you get the green? I love that color. I don't think they would work so well here in Seattle with all the mud puccles though!

Suze35

LJ - your children are a testament to what an amazing person you are, and you will continue to touch lives through them, no matter what. You are handling everything with such grace and love, it is inspiring. This is killing me, but your peace and sense of calm helps bring peace to me, and us. You are in my thoughts tonight my friend.



Linda - you bring me to tears when I see how much love you have for your daughter. You are such an amazing woman yourself - raising her children and keeping the memory of your beautiful daughter alive. As hard as Christmas will be, I know you will do justice to her. I truly believe there is more to this universe than we can ever understand, and that souls are reunited, somewhere out there. Your daughter will share her life with you again. Thank you so much for your continued presence on this board, you truly have a beautiful voice.



And the shoes aren't too bad, lol! They are blocky heels with a platform, so they feel more like 4" rather than 6. But that is why I have DH - I just hang on to him .



Bak - I did get the green! I'm going to wear them with dark skinny jeans and a great purple sweater. I plan on avoiding puddles, lol.



Titan - I hate the "why's" and I hate that I can't stop asking. How many more amazing women have to fight this disease? I feel your pain and frustration.

Now let's all go kick some cancer a** ladies!!

cc4npg

Laurajane:  Everyone else has pretty much said everything I can think of so I will echo what they've said.  You have been a blessing to so many of us here.  Your strength, attitude and courage have well exceeded what I would be able to endure.  I hate reading what you're having to deal with!  You have made a difference in so many lives here.  I pray this chemo will completely kick this cancer for you and we will get to see a miracle on this board.  I also pray your pain will subside.  Make sure to ask the doc for more potent pain meds if you need them.  You, my friend, are totally AWESOME in my book!  May God bless you and your family...

lwarstler

Laurajane: You are really amazing and inspiring. I hope you just kick the snot out of the cancer. 

Titan: My husband and I are totally pulling for Josh...he really is amazing and seems like a really nice person too. 

Sugar77

LauraJane - you are amazing and I can feel your energy radiating through cyberspace. And I'm sending you healing vibes back!

Suze - the shoes are pretty awesome...and high!!! You can pull it off where I'd be too klutzy to wear something that high.  

I'm going to say extra prayers for both of you tonight for your chemos to kill the FC.

(((((((((hugs))))))))) 

Paintingmywaythru

Laura Jane Love and Peace and Prayers to you. You are an amazing woman. Everyone has said it all. Please know we all love you and you have touched all of our lives with your wonderful wisdom and love of life. Praying this chemo will hit this cancer hard.

Luah

LJ - What generosity of spirit to share what you are going through... and care so deeply about the rest of us. You have a rare and luminous gift, Laura jane - one that has obviously been bestowed on your children. My heart aches for what you are going through, but, strangely, I feel uplifted too by your grace and courage.... and determination to enjoy life. It seems rather selfish to talk about the impact of your posts on me... but please know that you are in my thoughts and hopes daily.

Fighter_34

LJ-- I didn't read your whole post because I am refusing to accept it. If there is anything we as a group we can do please let us know sincerely...(heavy heart right now).

kathyrnn

Please bear with the typos, IPhones not thumb friendly.



Suze, for some reason the link didn't take me to the shoes, but please promise to take a strut in them for me. I have been in flip-flops all summer, but put a pair of sneakers on the other day when I went for a walk. It only took about 10 min to find out how painful the neuropathy really hurts, lol. I'm now trying to figure out what to put on my feet, because I don't think flip-flops and snow are going to work well, lol. Let me know what your schedule is for the 12th, I'm up there all day for my testing.



LRM, thank you for sharing about Tiffany. If you don't mind, at our holiday dinners we light candles for all our friends and family that aren't here with us anymore. If you don't mind, we'll include Tiffany this year.



Thank you everyone who has been discussing "margins". Also someone mentioned having problems with an internal mammary node. I have a deep mammary node near the chest wall behind my deeper tumor which they kind of fluffed off. After your information, I'll be revisiting this with them before surgery.

kathyrnn

Laura Jane, I somehow missed your earlier post. I just have no words for this horrible news. I'm glad you have such wonderful family to support you. Hug.

LRM216

Kathyrnn: 

Of course I would not mind, in fact, I am honored by your very gracious and loving offer to light a candle for my daughter.  It is so deeply appreciated and I am wiping the tears streaming down my cheeks from reading what you wrote to me.  The beauty and goodness of life never ceases to amaze me, and I am blessed to have a person such as yourself in my life.  I thank you, deeply.

Linda

bak94

I am  feeling blessed to be part of this thread, all of you are amazing women. I feel like I have known you all for years!

I think there is something wrong with me! Today I was so tired at work that I would go into the bathroom while my clients were processing, clean the floor, and then lay down and take a nap. Thank goodness we have more than one bathroom, and that I woke up in time. I did that 3 times.

One of my clients told me today she would make the trip to NOLA if I decided to have reconstruction there! Not sure if my insurance will pay, may be out of network, but I thought that was so nice of her. All my friends work and either don't have time or money to go and my hubby needs to stay home and take care of the animals. Then another client was talking about how if it were her she would not get reconstruction and we had a long talk about it and it hit me, maybe I won't do reconstruction. I was so disappointed that I couldn't have immediate reconstruction at first, and now I am thinking that maybe I really just don't care! I just want to enjoy each day and do the best I can. Who needs boobs anyways? I really don't need to think about it right now or anytime soon because I have to wait a year, and hopefully this fc stays away, but we all know how that is. My apologies that this post is just so random, just my thoughts for the day!

MissMollyB

Hello,

Thanks to all that responded to my concerns about the close margins.  

Luah - my situation and yours seem to be the same.  My RO was concerned about the close margins, they were 1.1 mm for the primary IDC and only 0.2 mm for DCIS, however both of these were on the anterior wall, and therefore further surgery cannot be done to get wider margins.   My MO is in agreement with my surgeon on this, and my RO will now doe 5 extra "boosts" to the area at the end of Rads.

Now that this is all figured out, I have a plan in place for chemo.   I will be doing a dose-dense course of 4 AC and then 4 T every two weeks for eight cycles.   So, I guess tomorrow I am going wig shopping.

Take care all