January Mastectomy

faithandfifty

Rant & Roll. What a great title for a new thread, Kat.

Sally. You'll be pleased to know that I FINALLY got myself signed up officially for the walk on Sat. They were registering at Polaris & my PT is way up there, so I got both accomplished.

True story. Huge mall. Huge registration area.

I walk up to the next volunteer who is taking the registrations.

I sit down & can feel every emotion bubbling to the surface.

I look up at my Volunteer and read her name-tag.

Are ya ready?

Can ya guess?

Seriously.

Make a guess.

Drumroll.

Her name is FAITH!!!!

I took a picture to document the moment.

(She thought I really was loosing it. LOL)

I took that as a great sign from heaven & calmed down.

Laura. What are the gorgous blooms in white at the bottom of the tree? I can't quite decide. The picture is glorious & it's so brilliant to have such a special spot as your own haven on earth. Graham chose very wisely when he chose you to be his mama.

Hugs all around the team.

I always get concerned when we haven't heard from some of our 'regulars.'

Marianne. I hope that you are OK from all the recent flooding.

Any of you regulars that may be lurking periodically: PLEASE pop in with just a word or two, so that we know how you're holding up.

Sending prayers to all.

xx00xx00xx00xx

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

P.S. My PT actually measured some actual progress, in actuality. I can't feel the difference yet, but am THRILLED that we are apparently heading in the right direction. Let's here it for Kinesio Tape!!! 

Edit starts here.

Some of you may know that I have this wack-doodle thing about always wanting to have a picture to start a new page. Not it's an absolute nonsensible obsession with me. LOL

Anyhow. Here's a pic my DD1 took this weekend while we were in Pittsburg. We had time between sessions & we played Senior Yearbook Photo Montage. This is me descending the staircase, modeling my survivor scarf. Each of those ribbons has a hand-written message from a woman who has attended one of my workshops, since first diagnosis. It's pretty profound.

I will wear it Saturday!!

neversurrender

Cathy,

Good luck tomorrow !!   I will send all my prayers and positive energy your way tomorrow.  Post when you are able and let us know how you are doing.  I'm so excited for you ! 

Strength and Courage !!!!!

Sally

neversurrender

Love the scarf Debbie.  I will have to check it out on Saturday. 

bcincolorado

faithandfifty:  LOVE the look!  That is wonderful!

To everyone feeling a bit "lost" as you are finishing your surgeries and being "done" I imagine you are still on meds and seeing docs but not as often.  I an tell you I checked out the book Living Well Beyond Breast Cancer written by the person who founded this web site and so far I really think it is worth reading.  It starts off how many of us have "seperation anxiety" from our doctors and how we worry so much about it coming back and being left out on our own again and how hard it is to go back to life as it was.

Gina:  My DH says I'm cranky too and thinks it is my meds....couldn't possibly be because he was on my last nerve and being a brat or he was in bad mood though!

bookart

Debbie - love the scarf - love the OUTFIT!  Wacky and WONDERFUL.

bookart

BTW - I blew my top at my boss today.  No stress here!

TNgolfer

Debbie,

Love the outfit!!!  You look great.  Not to worry about all the flooding....didn't reach Eastern Tennessee.  It was primarily Nashville (about 2 hours west of me). But I do pray for so many there who lost so much.

Marianne 

Leah58

Breast Cancer treatment is like a wild roller coaster ride.  There are ups and downs, twists, loop d loops, and crazy wild turns but our roller coaster will not stop and let us off.    On our rides there maybe crying, laughs, screaming(?), lots of pink, pain, nausea, tingling, hair raising lows, and maybe even throwing up!  

The thing I now know is that we each have our very own bc coaster ride.  We all have breast cancer and we have some shared experiences but our "rides" are so personal.  After our masectomy(ies) we all went in similar but different directions.   Some are "done" with treatment, some of us are having chemo, some reconstruction, some radiation, some AI therapy or a combination of all of these.  

What I know is that I really appreciate my January sisters and your posts because you get it!!!!  Take care!!

pbebow

Debbie, Love the picture!  You are totally rockin' the scarf!!!

Leah58, soo, soo true!  we definitely all have different rides, but they all started with BC... we're in this together!

Kat, I think that you are the only one that I have ever heard that loves Tamoxofin!  You crack me up!  My good friend that was dx just before is taking it and it gives her a constant headache and makes her feel like she has ADD, she had to stop taking it for a week to see if it was truly the cause of these things and they cleared up almost immediately.  And it seems like Gina has issues with it too.... and you are losing weight?!  Geez, I heard it makes you gain weight.  Anyway, I went in with arguments about why I shouldn't take it, because of the risks of it causing cancer elsewhere and I have 25+ people in my family that have had cancer, in all different areas, so I had a list of all the different cancers, I didn't want to take something that would ultimately cause me to get cancer.  But I never had to use my arguments because when I went in she said the risks and side effects for Tamoxifin outweighed the benefits for me to take it.  I don't know if it was because I just had a small case of DCIS and am BRCA - or what.  But I'll admit, sometimes it really makes me nervous that I don't have any further treatment....  I think that I'm going to talk to my family doctor sometime soon about the whole thing.  Maybe check my estrogen levels or something, ultra sound on my girly parts, I just don't know, full body scan?  Let's see what my insurnace thinks about that!

Cathy, good luck today!  I pray for a pain-free recovery for you!!  Let us know how you are doing when you can!

Paula

jizogarden

Morning Kat,

Glad you enjoyed Graham's Garden....I meant to post it a bit smaller but I'm amazed I figured out how to post it at all  I lived in Japan for several years as a young girl and it has influenced my art and my gardening.  Graham loved so many Japanese things and loved the idea of a Japanese garden.  He was with me when the garden began it's metamorphosis....it continues to evolve as all gardens do. 

You are going to love your new yippee squishies....being softer is so much better!  I have to admit they still don't feel like the "old girls" they are a bit heavier and still firmer, but not poking me anymore!  They are softer this week than the first week and they should soften more and more with time  Your not going to believe how much easier your recovery is going to be...I swear it is completely different....piece of cake! DH was all ready to take care of me for a few days and couldn't believe how quickly I recovered.  He called me from work the second day after surgery to see if I needed him to pick up anything for dinner on the way home and I told him that Smudge and I had gone for walk and picked up a groceries (light under 10lbs)...  So if your "H" is out golfing just enjoy yourself, knowing you've past the last big hurdle  

Just for the record I'm a triple neg. so no tamox....no nothing  sure would have loved to loose some weight....but I'm having to do it the old fashioned way. I stress eat for comfort so with this last surgery over and stress levels down the pounds should just melt away...right if only

Laura 

binga

Laura- I really love your garden.  Your hosta plants are gorgeous.  I have a wooded area in my backyard and I would love for it to look like that.

Paula-I know exactly how you feel.  My BS says see you in 6 months.  I saw a radiation oncologist for a consult before my MX but since I chose surgery I have not been referred to an oncologist at all.  I had 3 different tumors- all small- but two were low grade invasive.  So yes it worries me too.

Becky 

neversurrender

Paula, I was told the same thing by my BS.  The benefit/risk ratio for tamox made it not worth it for me to take. 

I saw my PS today.  Everything is healing nicely and he will remove my lifting restriction on Thursday - yeah !  I can also stop wearing my binder - yeah !   Best of all, no evidence of sernoma in my abdomen - YEAH !   I will not see him again for about 8 weeks.  All my swelling should be gone and everything should be 'settled in'.  We will see how I feel about everything then.  If anything else needs done, we will address it, if not  - time to talk nipples

neversurrender

I had to take my two oldest DDs in for their well check appts Friday.  The nurse was updating their files and asked if anything had changed in their family history health wise.  I paused and stuttered and then told her of my diagnosis - it was so hard to say it out loud to her.  When dr came in, he immediately asked about it (we have been seeing him for 13yrs).  I felt like I wanted to crawl under the table and hide.  It was so unsettling for me to have to say it out loud and talk with him about it.  We have always had a very friendly relationship and talk about his kids and family  I'm not sure why it was so hard.  I guess everyone else I talk to already knows, so I never really have to say it. 

Strength and Courage !

ReginaR

Gina Kaufman Robinson Sarah & Shelby all  Dress up in Pink for a picture for Mom Mother day 2010!
Shelby Dog T- shirt says"walking for my Human"
Sarah came up with the theme! So sweet!!

Sarah & Shelby Mother day 2010

Hope this finally get to my Jan Girls , I know it small, but the other one would never sumit!

 Thniking Of all My Jan Sisters! Praying all are healing well!  Love all the posts & Pictures ,we have an awesome group! Love ya all {{hugs}} Gina

pbebow

The picture is adorable!  What a lovely thing for your daughter to do!

Sally, I don't have to see my PS for 2 months either... seems weird not to go to a doctor for 2 whole months!  What am I going to do with myself!?!  So, do I understand this correctly that your family doctor of 13 years just now found out about your BC?!!!!  Mine was so involved with me deciding on treatment, he helped with referals to my BS and he also called the day after I found out about my dx, and we talked on the phone several times after that about my options and what he recommended, he is the one that suggested that I fight it hard because of my age.  I understand what you mean though about it being hard to say out loud to someone that doesn't know.  When I went in for my rash before my exchange I was so concerned that I'd have to say something to the nurse about the blood pressure cuff, it's all I could think about which seems silly now... when it came right down to it, she took it on my left side and I didn't have to say a thing.  Wondering if it was in my chart or what because I'm sure that they usually do the right side, but either way, I didn't have to say anything.  Anyway, I'm glad that you got through it and that everything is healing nicely.  Now what are we going to do with all of our free time with not going to doctors?

Paula

neversurrender

No, Paula it was our pediatrician.  My GP was in on the whole thing also (although not as involved as yours

My reaction to picking up our race packets and my reaction at the peds office makes me wonder if I am living in the land of Denial. 

pbebow

Oh Sally, that makes more sense!  Duh!!!  Sorry!  We don't use a pediatrician, we all go to our family doctor, I like that he knows everything about all of us, but that's just me... I don't have an OBGYN either, he does it all for us!  Except BC, obviously, but he did help and I trust him entirely.  He is one of those doctors that isn't afraid to send you to a specialist, he'll try to figure it out, but he knows his limits and he keeps our best interest in mind.  Love that about him!

I know what you mean about denial...  I really only broke down twice after my dx, not at all after my BMX and didn't really have a breakdown until after my exchange, I think it all just added up.  We try to be so strong for everyone else and make sure that no one else gets upset about it, that we put on our happy face and walk around like everything is okay, when sometimes it just isn't okay!  Oh well... what are we gonna do?  Can't just sit around and cry all the time!  right?

Paula

jizogarden

Gina...love your dogs shirt! soooo cute, "walking for my human" what a great idea Sarah had, she is a cutie too

Kat are you breathing

Lilah......hoping your head is clearing and your feeling good can't wait to hear how your doing. Get lots of lovely rest  

Strength and healing,

Laura 

faithandfifty

Thanks team for your support of my very professional attire.

Who else gets to wear striped Reeboks with their polka-dots??

I love what I get to do.

Sally. Did you get your last minute memo for the walk?? It says that Chris Speilman is going to speak at the closing survivor recognition. Be sure that you bring serious tissues. I can't imagine that there will be a dry eye anywhere to be found.

We have got to figure out a place to hook up so that we can meet. It will be such a mad-house. My DD plus family may be with me in their wagon train..... it just depends on how the kids are feeling. Right this minute they all are under-the-weather with coughs & breathing treatments. We'll see how they fare as the week wears on. I wonder what the weather will be like that day??

I still need to "ready" my t-shirt.

Cathy. I am sending you healing vibes for your journey ahead. Been thinking about you all day.

I'd better go track down Lynbob thru FB & see how she is.

Becky & Leah, it was sooooooo great to hear from each of you.

Go TEAM!!

xx00xx00xx00xx

neversurrender

Debbie, I was thinking about how we would meet up also.  You've been there before, any ideas?  Maybe we need to exchange cell numbers also.  Pm me and we will work out the details.

bookart

I'm always the "strong" one in my family, but I lost it at work yesterday from all the stress at my house.  Unfortunately, it came out as a tirade at my boss, who has been more than helpful and patient with my PT and therapy and having to leave work to pick up my son.  So I apologized today and she told me that I had been childish and unprofessional.  Sigh.   I left work early because I felt so bad.  Stress affects my gut, so I wasn't getting much done anyway - just running to the restroom.  Hopefully, we can move on without MORE STRESS.  Tomorrow is a new day.

pbebow

Elaine, I'm sorry that you had a bad day!  I hope it gets better!  Bless & Release!

Paula

neversurrender

{{{Elaine}}}

jizogarden

Debbie, love the outfit! 

Glad you enjoy my garden...shade is so nice on hot summer days  

Cathy good luck tomorrow!

Strength and courage all,

Laura 

frosty1

Checking in ... Chemo #4 last week.  The cumulative effect really hit and I was in bed all day mother's day and half of yesterday.  Coming up for air today.  Only 2 more cocktails, then start on the year of herceptin.

binga

Glad you are hanging in there frosty.  Hope you feel better each day!

Becky 

neversurrender

Brenda, good to hear from you.  I hope you continue to feel better each day. 

Hugs Team January !

neversurrender

Morning Ladies !!

Six months ago - Nov 12 - I woke up and carried on my day as a normal, safe, working mom.  I got my DDs of to school, welcomed all my babies into the house.  We played and sang and read books.  We has lunch and I tucked them all into bed for naptime.  At 2:30 my GP called to give me my path results, and that safe, normal world was gone. 

Six months...not a lot of time.  Six months....2 surgeries, 9 drains, binders, percocets, breast gone and back, no nipples.   Six months, half a year....not much time in the whole scope of one's life.  Six months....meals delivered to us for weeks, people carpooling my kids to all their events, friends filling in jobs, teachers/friends donating for our team. 

These six months have been quite a mixed bag for my family.  BC sucks, no doubt about it.  BUT, my DDs have had a chance to witness some amazing acts of kindness and compassion.  My DDs have grown so much emotionally.  I think we are all less selfish, more willing to help other people. 

I sit here this morning, obsessing over the six month mark and wondering what the next six months have in store for my family.   Where will we be six months from now?

Thanks for listening to my odd ramble this morning Team January

One more....six months....finding Team January !  I can not imagine going through all of this without all of you.  You have been such a lifeline.  I hope the next six months brings us all peace, love, joy, and minimal discomfort. 

Love ya Team January !!!!!

Strength and Courage !

Never Surrender !

pbebow

Awww Sally, that was beautiful!!!  You are so poetic!  6 months ago today we were celebrating my youngest son's 5th b-day and pretending that our world wasn't about to come apart...  I hadn't had my appt with the BS yet so hadn't had my biopsy yet, but knew something was there...  Not a good month!  6 months, yep, a lot can happen in 6 months!  But we're alive and cancer free!

I'm getting a little anxious, waiting to get the approval from insurance company for fat grafts... I really would like to do it this month yet, so I hope they call soon!  Not sure if it's because I really want the fat grafts, or because I want the lipo from my ever growing tummy!!!  haha!  Anyway, good day ladies!

Paula

pbebow

So, just thought I'd share... got to have a little fun with the new girls (not that kind of fun!) I just tried on all of my old bras, they're all gone! (I was so convinced that I really wasnt' bigger, but that proved me wrong!) And I tried on all of my bathing suits and aside from one that may be a tad too tight, the rest all fit good... They're tighter and fuller then they used to be, but I think it makes them look better! Can't wait to hit the beach... at least on top... now the bottom half, I need to work on, from the boobs down! Of course, all of my tankini's are shorter because the boobs are pulling them up a little (like all of my shirts) so I really need to work on losing some tummy. I'm hoping that I'll get approval for my fat grafting soon and then I will get a little lypo, that can only help!!! Gotta take all of the silver linings I can get out this BC crap!
Hope everyone is doing well!!!
Paula