January Mastectomy

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  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 5,758
    edited May 2010

    {{{{{Sally}}}}

  • jizogarden
    jizogarden Member Posts: 375
    edited May 2010

    Morning Robin, Kat, Paula and all,

    I HATE bras too :)  Before bc the first thing I did when I got home was whip my bra off...I've always been on the smaller size and even so I couldn't stand them!  What my new routine will be remains to be seen....just getting acquainted with the "new girls".  Hoping not to need bras on regular basis.

    Kat CONGRATULATIONS on your exchange date!!!!! Whooohooooooo!  so happy for you :) Less than 2 weeks!!!! Yippee Squishy here you come :)  I got a 120cc fill once...yeow! did I feel topped off....enjoy your weekend, kicking back sounds perfect :)

    Congratulations to your state Paula for it's new no smoking law.  NY has not allowed smoking for years....it's wonderful.  My son had cystic fibrosis and we would have to leave restaurants or anywhere that had smoking...it was a blessing when the laws in NY changed. Good on Michigan!

    Strength, healing and courage,

    Laura 

  • KatRNagain92
    KatRNagain92 Member Posts: 522
    edited May 2010

    Morning to all!

    Last night, sleep was almost unbearable.  I was in so much pain.  I told that to the PS's student...it never hurts until about 6 hours after but this time...acute pain...especially in the sterum area.  And now comes the hot drink/cold drink phenon again.  My left (phrophylactic side) is in the most pain.  Protesting I suspect. 

    Laura, I'm so glad you and the new girls are getting to know each other better every day!  I can't wait to see your drop and fluff. 

    Robin and Cathy and your preemies...I am in awe of how much strength that must have taken...I'm a nurse and even did some home health with preemies in my younger days... I was always amazed at the moms.  Kudos!

    Paula, I meant to comment on your smoke free state!  Wonder how that's going to work in Detroit?  Illinois has been smoke free for about 3 or 4 years now.  I actually quit right before it went to no smoking otherwise I would have rebelled I'm sure! :)   I'm glad Michigan learned a lesson from us.  We went no smoking on January 1.  Is that not the stupidest day ever?  Freezing your a** off smoking was not a good way to ring in the new year for those people.  You'll have more compliance with the nice weather except you'll find yourself walking through a cloud of smoke from the people outside.    We still have bars here in our small town that allow smoking in them.  They give you a can as an ashtray and it costs 1.00 for the can.  Then the 1.00 goes into the fine jar and they pay their fines with that.  I HATE being in any place that allows it.  It just sickens me now. 

    Sally, sorry about your drain...I'm praying there will be no seroma and the healing can finish up.  When do you start back with the kids? 

    Well going to recruit teenage daughter to help me carry laundry.  Wish me luck with that!
    Have a great day
    Kat

  • TNgolfer
    TNgolfer Member Posts: 253
    edited May 2010

    Ladies,

    Would love to attach the photo's....any computer genius out there who can help.. Right now they are in my Kodak Pictures gallery (downloaded from digital camera)....Need instructions!  When I go to Post a reply and click on insert an image it is looking for the image's URL address.....

    Kat,  Hang in there.  My experience is that the fuller they are the more "uncomfortable" they will be (remember that word?).  Sleeping at night is the worst because of all the pressure they put on the rib cage.  Just a couple more weeks....

    Paula, how close is St. Louis MI to Grand Rapids.  Youngest son just moved there.  Also, I am originally from Upstate NY and loved the "no smoking" rule.....drives me crazy here in Tennessee that you can still smoke in some places.

      Marianne

  • robinlbe
    robinlbe Member Posts: 585
    edited May 2010

    Cathy....re: micro-preemie...My daughter was a 23.5 weeker...weighed 590 grams at birth, which is just a tad over one pound, four ounces....after she lost her birth weight, she got down to 465 grams, which is 16.5 ounces.  Her eyes were still fused when she was born....just like a newborn kitten.  My husband's voice - which is nice and mellow (unlike mine)- would soothe her, and he would get in her face and talk because he said he wanted to be the first thing she saw when her eyes finally opened up :)

    She's a tough little girl, too....when she was little, I'd try to help her, and she'd say, "I do it myself!"  And she's still like that!! 

    Initially and for a couple of years after her birth, I questioned "why me?  why her?  why us?"  until God knocked it into my head that He picked us out special to do a special job for Him, and that He trusted us with that job.  Just as He chose the Israelites. 

    So when I was diagnosed with the BC, I didn't ask "why me?"....I knew He had trusted me again and there must be some purpose and a job for me to do.  Just waiting to see what it is....I'm thinking I'm supposed to start a support group of some kind- a ministry, Christ-centered one, rather than a "typical" one, - but I don't know yet.  So I'm just waiting for further direction...

    First though, I gotta figure out what this red stuff is on my chest...no, it's no better.  In fact, it's worse today....Just took first dose of antibiotics.  I'm kind of glad he gave me augmentin of all things - my sinuses have been a mess and I thought I had a sinus infection, but I was putting off going to my family doc.  This augmentin will take care of it for me!!   Just hope it gets rid of my red area and tiny red spots....

    Everyone, have a great Saturday....hope everyone is getting more comfortable...sorry for the uncomfortableness some are experiencing...

    I think I'm in for some discomfort - but mine comes from having my college boy coming home today. I think we're in for a rough summer.  He has come to the conclusion that another college (in Louisville- where he turned down the full ride last year) has a better psych and computer dept than his current school.  However, he has come to that conclusion WITHOUT having talked to anyone in those departments.....he "thought" it, therefore - in his mind, it is now fact.  Currently he is not accepted at the L'ville school, nor is he registered at his current school. 

    I think I need a life jacket and he'd better get the life boat!!!!

    blessings...robin

  • jizogarden
    jizogarden Member Posts: 375
    edited May 2010

    Dear Sally, Hope all goes well with your drain being pulled...i remember wanting my drains out so badly but then when the day came a little fear crept in...but then it was fine.  

    As for your anything but DH....all I can say is vent, vent, vent.....so sorry when you really need someone to partner with he has turned into a GREAT BIG BABY!!!!! ok maybe I'm being harsh...but I've said it and I'm not deleting it =]  I hope you have a wonderful day with your BF tomorrow and can find a way to release your stress and find some comfort and even a little peace :)

    My father used to say hurtful things to me....and when I would call him on it he would never own it.  He would always say I was being overly sensitive....that he was just teasing....it's infuriating. There is a saying in buddhism....be the change you want to see.....that's what I did with my dad. He would bait me and I wouldn't take the bait...I would just smile and move on.....he couldn't get me to play his mean game anymore...I took his power...it was fantastic!  It's something to think about.  One day when I was leaving his home I rubbed his shoulder and told him in a very matter of fact way "love ya Dad"....he was gobsmacked!!!!  He couldn't draw me in anymore....luscious! Sounds like two weeks off may be luscious for you and your daughters :)  

    Robin and Cathy sounds like you both brought tiny angels to your lives....what a blessing, what an appreciation for life. 

    Andrew is out cutting the grass....the windows are wide opened.....tired from teaching this morning...Smudge and I are going to have a nap :)

    Strength and healing,

    Laura 

  • burley
    burley Member Posts: 631
    edited May 2010

    Oh Sally!  Wow, I'm practically at a loss for words about your husband.  I'm so glad you'll be getting a break from him.  I wonder if after the break, when he's in a calm, rational mood, you can have a heart-to-heart with him about how he's making you and your daughters feel.  I'm so sorry for the stress that you're having to go through surrounding your relationship.  Definitely not what you need right now, or anywhere in the near future.  My thoughts and prayers are with you (and him).

    My husband is no angel, but he's been doing pretty good lately.  He freaked out about 3 weeks ago about the house not being as clean as it used to be.  I just stared at him blankly until he stopped yelling.   That unnerved him.  I do what I can, and get the kids to help out with little things.  It's hard to maintain a perfectly clean house when you live with 3 slobs, 4 cats and 2 inside dogs (2 other dogs are outside.)  Plus my husband comes home greasy every night...plus we live on a dirt road...the list goes on and on.

    Someone commented that they didn't think my boobs were big enough yet.  Humpf.  Of course, I was wearing a baggy shirt and not my usual tight t-shirt (all my t-shirts are tight now.)  I need to go try on some tank tops and bras before I make my final decision if I'm done with my fills.  It's so hard to decide if I really like them or not because they look so weird.  I have no fat or extra skin around them, so they stick straight out and look really unnatural.   Hard decision...

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited May 2010

    Having a VERY difficult time typing.
    If I tell you this, it will be real & I can't bring myself to believe.

    Appointment to LE specialist is the documentation that I DO have edema in my arm. There is still some question as to whether I have LYMPHedema or not? There has already been a LOT of finger pointing going on between the professionals.

    Who did what, when, to start this.

    I was just crushed Thurs..... got home about 7 p.m. from all day set-up, appointments, trip to pharmacy to order compression sleeve & gauntlet.

    Had to get up before 6 to get downtown for BIG state event. No time to acclimatel. No time to adjust, wrap my head around.

    Specialist feels I must wear sleeve/gauntlet EVERY day, all day.

    So I ordered a hot pink set.

    Spent yesterday's 12 hours at convention-site, drove back to pick up garments at pharmacy. They had arrived. They are skin-colored beige. I just sat there and cried and cried and cried.

    The poor woman. I am decked out from head to toe in polka dots and sooooo wanting outlandish  statement, garments, but that is not what has arrived. She could return these and get new ones in a week or so, but I fly home from DC on Tues of this coming week. Feel I can not fly w/o compression -- so take ordinary (insert hideously UGLY) garments home. Cry all the way home.

    Must get up again before 6 to start the day all over....... only today my presentation was THE last segment of the 3 day conference (so people would stay.) My workshop room is as far from exhibit space as humanly possible in our convention center. I am SO exhausted.

    But, the room was over-filled to max. People were genuinely filled with empahty & were supportive. DH stopped thru after he packed up our booth and insisted I sit down and drink some water, we compromised & I drank the water.

    I got all the way to the last song and just started crying and was only able to 'perform' the sign language. There was a very young survivor in the audience, one year out. She was sobbing and most were pretty moved. (my new one entitled: "Family & Friends")

    Well we are now in a UHAUL headed back to DC with furniture for DD2&SIL..... so we can attend her doctoral recital. Feel free to point out -- this is indeed nuts. LOL

    What we do for our children. Please don't lecture me. I don't have to do a thing -- just sit here.

    had the compression sleeve & gauntlet on for about 4 hours now. Typing is a new concept.

     Will regroup in near future.

    Just too exhausted to have this new 'unknown.'

    Thanks for being my sounding board.

    xx00xx00xx00xx

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 5,758
    edited May 2010

    {{{{{{faithandfifty}}}}}}

  • robinlbe
    robinlbe Member Posts: 585
    edited May 2010

    Ah,Debbie.....hugs....

    and blessings....robin

  • robinlbe
    robinlbe Member Posts: 585
    edited May 2010

    Not to change the subject, but I just found out that my niece (husband's sister's daughter) is doing the 3 day Komen walk in Atlanta this year...in memory of MIL and in honor of ME .......

    I am so honored and humbled.....how cool is that?!?! 

    blessings..robin

  • robinlbe
    robinlbe Member Posts: 585
    edited May 2010

    Not to change the subject, but I just found out that my niece (husband's sister's daughter) is doing the 3 day Komen walk in Atlanta this year...in memory of MIL and in honor of ME .......

    I am so honored and humbled.....how cool is that?!?! 

    blessings..robin

  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 564
    edited May 2010

    Robin - your son sounds JUST like a college freshman.  Mine "assumed" that since he hadn't received his last bill for his dorm he didn't really owe them anything.  So he spent his dorm money on junk food and play.  Idiot.  So we had to spend the money we were going to spend on buying him a new drum kit.  We saved up for that for quite awhile.  Some lessons are more expensive than others.

    Debbie - I've been amazed at all you do.  You are fantastic, and an inspiration to all of us.  Just know that anyone can get lymphedema after this surgery.  I'm sorry they didn't get you a great color!  Or polka dots.  Mine haven't even come in yet; they're going to have to be expensive custom jobs - big biceps, tiny wrists.  Try a compression shirt?  My best wishes - try not to overdo.  Yeah, I know.

  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 564
    edited May 2010

    Robin - your son sounds JUST like a college freshman.  Mine "assumed" that since he hadn't received his last bill for his dorm he didn't really owe them anything.  So he spent his dorm money on junk food and play.  Idiot.  So we had to spend the money we were going to spend on buying him a new drum kit.  We saved up for that for quite awhile.  Some lessons are more expensive than others.

    Debbie - I've been amazed at all you do.  You are fantastic, and an inspiration to all of us.  Just know that anyone can get lymphedema after this surgery.  I'm sorry they didn't get you a great color!  Or polka dots.  Mine haven't even come in yet; they're going to have to be expensive custom jobs - big biceps, tiny wrists.  Try a compression shirt?  My best wishes - try not to overdo.  Yeah, I know.

  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 564
    edited May 2010

    Laura - thanks for the great lesson in how to deal with hurtful people.  That was great!

  • jizogarden
    jizogarden Member Posts: 375
    edited May 2010

    Debbie so sorry about your news...from beginning to end.  I hope you have some down time soon when you can take a deep breath and sit with yourself, your art and those you love.

    Robin such an honor to find out your niece walked in your name :)

    Bookart...glad the little hurtful people piece was ok.  I realized after posting it I many have way too far off subject.  My dad and I did have a few peaceful years before he passed.....a blessing :)

    Having some small zinging pains under my implants....I assume this is part of the settling process.  Yesterday the first pains started under my right breast...and then this morning little zings started under my left breast.  My ps lowered my pocket a bit on each side so I'm not nervous about it.  I see my ps tomorrow morning for my one week checkup since my exchange, looking forward to reassurance :) I always enjoy seeing him...and am grateful for that since we see each other so often! 

    Hot day in NY today....looking forward to some time in the shade under the sugar maples in our back yard....maybe I'll even put up the hammock....or have DH put up the hammock since I'm sure it is beyond my weight limit for the next few weeks ;)

    Healing, health and comfort,

    Laura 

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 5,758
    edited May 2010

    robin and faith:  You are both in my prayers....and Robin, your son will be too.  I know he'll get there, just a boy, and young.  I'll pray for peace for both of you.

  • binga
    binga Member Posts: 140
    edited May 2010

    Hot day here in GA too.  Although it is looking a little stormy.  Thought I would go sit on my covered backporch and enjoy the weather.  Unfortunately, I walked out into the backyard to pick up a couple of small fallen branches and lo and behold there was a huge black snake.  Ok now I am creeped out and going back inside.:)

    I am going back to work on Wed.  It makes me a little nervous.  I hope I am ready physically, mentally and especially emotionally.  I work 12 hour shifts as a retail pharmacist at a very busy store and it is quite stressful.  

    Hope everyone has a great week!

    Becky 

  • burley
    burley Member Posts: 631
    edited May 2010

    We have a face-to-face meeting with the IRS this week to explain why we owe so much in back business taxes.  Ahhhh, stress.  I have days worth of paperwork to prepare and copy.  I've got 2 computers going, trying to gather back data for 3 years.  And get this!  The lady wants proof that I had BC.  Seriously?  Being bald isn't enough?  Does she want copies of my mounting medical bills, or what?  I'm going to the meeting in a bandana with no make up on, so she can get the full effect of BC and chemo...

  • ReginaR
    ReginaR Member Posts: 287
    edited May 2010

    Hey Jan sisters. Here's some picture of me & my Pink Outfit at Ky Oaks Friday April 30 "pink Out day" ( day before the Ky Derby) Breast Cancer Survivor day. It was 136 th running of the Oaks & had 136 Breast cancer survivor Parade around Churchill downs. I was so Honor & Held my Head up High for all you ,my Pink pals! It was a wondeful day & I meet several other Beautiful Breast  cancer Survivor.

    Then I got home & had a message from my oncologist office to call them back  Monday. They would have to rain on my parade!  Maybe just more test results ?

    Hope all of you are doing well. I was thinking of all of you when I walk in the parade  &  I am Praying for all & esp that everyone's appt & treatments go well this week.!

    {{Hugs}} Gina   PS I started back On Tamoxifen Yesterday. I wanted to wait til after the oaks parade, so my leg would not ache & No headaches. So we will see it was the side effect or if It was the infection . ( it was probally little bit of both)

  • neversurrender
    neversurrender Member Posts: 508
    edited May 2010

    Just a quick note regarding our Race for the Cure team.  My daughter (6th grade) brought home a flyer from school on Friday advertising a candy sale, for the entire 6th grade, that will be held today and tomorrow.  The school/pto/somone donated all the candy and they will be having my daughter run the sale.  All the money is going to be given to her as a donation for the Race for the Cure.  I was floored.  I have to say, the flyer made me cry when I saw it.  The school only found out about her participating in the race on Tuesday, and they had everything set up and the flyers printed and distributed by Friday.  I have always known that we have a fabulous school district and that our teachers/staff are among the best !  They are going above and beyond for "one of their own"....my DD was choked up about it also, she feels very proud of herself and her school.

  • jizogarden
    jizogarden Member Posts: 375
    edited May 2010

    Important article on bc markers, for those who may have missed it.

    http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/28/clues-for-personalizing-breast-cancer-treatment/?ref=health 

    Going in for my 1 week post exchange exam....more later :)

    Strength and healing,

    Laura 

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited May 2010
    I just posted this experience on the 'dumb things people have said thread' and I felt better immediately, on the spot, even while this story was unfolding as though in slow-motion, that I could come here & share with my team-January, too.

    Imagine.

    I am in a convention center exhibit hall, setting up my booth. My DH has hauled everything in from our car, but I am just capable enough to start putting the backdrop together on my own, while he moves the car to the back-lot.

    A woman I have known for the past 15 years (a vendor) comes walking directly toward me. I'm certain she will ask how I'm 'doing' since my BILAT in Jan.... as this is the first we've seen each other since my surgery, in fact this is our first interaction.

    I am already engrossed in thinking thru a gazillion details and upset about heading to a PT apointment, just as soon as this is all in place, so I'm a tad distracted.

    I am wearing a form-fitting t-shirt and layered over that is a loose fitting button-down jacket.

    She walks up. Pulls my jacket away from my body and the first words out of her mouth:

    "So just how flat are ya?"

    When my head stops revolving on my neck I must have said something about being busy, because she then left me to my set up.

    All of you brilliant minds. Who's got the best come back?

    xx00xx00xx00xx

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

    ***It amazes me that people have so little empathy. Can you believe it?

  • jizogarden
    jizogarden Member Posts: 375
    edited May 2010

    I'm back from my ps appt. and be forewarned.....I'm having a gigantic pity party >=(

    I went for my first follow-up and my ps was very happy with my healing and how the girls look so far. He said that they are still on the firmer side because of inflammation. Once the inflammation reduces the implants will become more and more natural looking. This first part of my morning was fine....

    He does want me to wear a underwire bra to keep things in order.......this is when my morning began to take a downward spiral.  I made the huge mistake of going to a local store to just try some bras on...well lets just say I had a melt down. I was standing there in the middle of jillions of bras and felt so ugly....my boobies are still kind of odd and all the bras just made me feel worse. I think everything that has happened over the last several weeks just came piling on top of me........I'm glad no one was around to see me crying.... It think part of it was that I never have worn an underwire in my life...I only have worn barley there bras. My boobs are still flat on front my scar is tight and they just aren't booby like yet.  I don't know why I thought going into a dressing room with horribe lighting (which even pre bc always put me in the worse mood) would in any way make me feel better!!!!

    Ok....I'm going to lick my emotional wounds now....Sorry for being such a baby =( I'll be fine...just hit a small wave of sadness...

    I posted a couple of new photos on the forum. I wish I felt like there was more change to see. I'm going to try to post a new picture each week so the progression is documented..for me and for all that it may help.

    Wishing everyone a day with some silver lining...I'm going to go look for mine :)
    Laura

  • neversurrender
    neversurrender Member Posts: 508
    edited May 2010

    {{{{{Debbie}}}}} Oh my, I am stunned beyond belief.  I am impressed that you were able to stand there and not disolve in front of  that insensitive, ignorant, unbelievable b*tch.  What in the heck is wrong with people.  Holy cow.  Debbie, I am so sorry you had to endure that.  

    Strength and Courage !

    We love you Debbie.  Hugs Hugs Hugs

  • jizogarden
    jizogarden Member Posts: 375
    edited May 2010

    Gina I love love love your pink outfit!  Hope you didn't have to slog through mud! :)

    Debbie......I'm speechless......what a horrible woman!.....still speechless >=(

    Strength and courage,

    Laura 

  • burley
    burley Member Posts: 631
    edited May 2010

    Debbie-I think that takes the cake for the worst thing someone has ever said/done.  Unbelievable.  I bet you've thought of all kinds of things you could have said back to her.  Maybe the opportunity will present itself for you!

    Laura-sorry you had such a bad experience.  I keep putting off bra shopping myself  I bet it's especially hard when they're not fully settled yet, and not having nipples can't help either.  I hope you ended up finding something cute!

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 5,758
    edited May 2010

    binga:  I hope going back to work is not as hard on you as you think it might be.  I know I can't stand up for parts of our church service now since it just tires me out so much to stand still in one place too long.  As a pharmacist you are on your feet so much of your day.  I hope it goes well. :)

    {{{laura}}

  • robinlbe
    robinlbe Member Posts: 585
    edited May 2010

    Debbie,  I posted a note to you on the "dumb things said to you" thread.....I still can't get over what she said, but I have a feeling she just wasn't thinking - duh. 

    Laura...bless your heart, but even though our situations aren't the same, I DO understand...I felt that way at the shop.  I tried on their mastectomy bras (uglier than homemade sin!!!) and cried.  Thank goodness I go flat most of the time...and when I do wear the forms (in my own, OLD bras), I take them off as soon as I can!!!!!    I get home, and the shoes come off and the foobs come off!

    blessings....robin

  • robinlbe
    robinlbe Member Posts: 585
    edited May 2010

    p,s. pity parties are fine and acceptable. We're all allowed them.  Don't you dare apologize.

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