The dumbest things people have said to you/about you

Anonymous

kks and lalisa: Let 'em eat your dust! (Or breathe your fumes

sandy115

my sister lives 2 min away we have always been best friends  I asked her why she has only visited once in 3 months  and called 2 times since my diagnoses she said dont put no guilt trip on me I dont give a shit.Talk about

compassion I dont think right now especially  starting Chemo tommorow I need relationships like that though

I did cry for a few days after that.

Anonymous

Oh, Sandy - that is awful! I am so sorry for you both. She must really feel a lot of pain that she is trying to block to respond in such a bizarre, insensitive way.

If you've always been best friends she will probably come around. Try reaching out to her in kindness - do something nice for her unrelated to the cancer. It will be worth the effort to get your sister back on your team, even if you have to be the one making the overture. (Which is totally not fair, but sometimes we have to suck it up for the people we love.)

lalisa

windlass what an awesome image, that bus with the fumes!

Anonymous

Lisa: Those nasty comments are the fuel we're burning to get such mega-Speeeeeed!!!

3jaysmom

sandy; im so sorry for that comment. i've always said, "family can hurt us the worst..i think its' true....

   WINDLASS.. where are you getting the great vehicles.. they're great!!! sending one your way...  and thank you all for the commiseration. im hopeing to get a break soon, and the synthyroid will work!......3jays

3jaysmom

our old stanby...3jays

jteach

windlass, 

Ummmm, about your bus...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thanks, Janice 

Elizabeth1889

Thank you for the bus, 3jaysmom.  It lifts my spirits every time I see it.  You have helped more people than you will every know.

Annabella58

hello my dears...i just read this onlinle and i had, had had to post it here.

Now this is very non PC, but I'll admit to laughing my head off at it.  It's quite true.  Altho, I like the prayers, I admit.  Kind of like the last one tho.

Some Awesome Things To Say To A Cancer Patient

By Virginia C. McGuire | April 26, 2011

You've lost so much weight. You look fantastic!
Thanks for noticing! My doctor says I'm malnourished.

You're strong and I know you can beat this.
Are you going to be disappointed in me if I die?

I read that kelp/almonds/asparagus have magical anti-cancer properties.
You should definitely eat some, then.

I know what you're going through.
Your grandfather's colostomy bag does not make you an expert on my medical situation.

That reminds me of when my dog/cat/gerbil had a tumor on her leg.
I'm sure that was heartbreaking for you.

God doesn't give us more than we can handle.
Define "handle."

OMG, I have/had cancer too! Let's be best friends.
Please stop weeping on my neck.

I know you don't want to talk about it, but I really need to.
Get a therapist.

Cancer rates go up the less you exercise.
You're right. It's my fault I got cancer.

I am so impressed by how fearless you are.
Actually, I'm scared shitless, but I've gotten really good at hiding it.

I'm praying for you.
That kind of grosses me out.

I feel awful, too! I have such bad allergies this time of year.
You win.

Everything happens for a reason.
I'm beginning to doubt your intelligence.

I had a friend who died from that same kind of cancer!
Wow, what a coincidence. F*ck you.

some "under the bus folks" got this from me.  Can't always be pollyanna.

xoxo
Virginia C. McGuire received her first cancer diagnosis when she was ten years old. She has heard everything on this list at least once.

Cyborg

Anniealso---- thank you!

Just_V

annie - loved loved loved it... think the last is my favorite, too.

HollyinMich

Anniealso - Loved, loved that post!!!

3jaysmom

me, too!!!..3jays

Southamptonmom

Anniealso, thanks for the laugh! That was great! Yesterday, I got "You look great, you haven't even lost any weight."  Ugh, thanks for notices I'm 30 pounds overweight.

NativeMainer

Does anyone remember the comedy skit, I think it was on TV, where the concept was that everytime a salesclerk said "Ma'm" she was thinking "B!t<#"?  It might have been a Saturday Nite Live thing, I'm not sure.  I use the same principle.  When I say "Kind of you to say so" I'm thinking "Do you know what an a$$h0!e you are?"  "Thank you" is mentally "F~<% you."  This way I can stay polite and respond to the intent and still get some vidication for the supidity.  No one needs to know that I'm smiling because I have just cut someone down in my mind!

Angelice

Anniealso loved it

jteach

anniealso,

Your post is fantastic!  Thanks for cracking me up this morning!   Janice 

barbe1958

Yah, but Native, I'm the idiot that would actually SAY what I'm really thinking!!! Been there, done that! You Southern Belles are just too composed for me!!

tinkertude

Annie that was great thanks for posting!..

Barbe wish I could say what I was thinking like you can. I come up with some good ones just cant seem to verbalize them.or I think of tham after the fact!  Good for you!!!

3jaysmom

someone has taught me a few "ladylike " responses, also, NM...

   thats' interesting is now thats' BS.. exactly what you're talking about.. it makes me less confrontational, and i don't get so worked up...

 my fav. remains to tell MYSELF oh, they are SOOO going under the bus....hahaha 3jays

3jaysmom

there they go!!!sorry, it just NEVER gets old for me.....3jays

NativeMainer

No, 3jays, the bus never gets old.  And I, too, mentally picture throwing people under the bus when I hear something stupid. Makes it much easier to smile and change the subject. 

CrazyKitties

Hand raised....heard the same things you ladies have as well.My mom thinks it's just like  getting a boob job. Oh , and when she had knee replacement surgery she kept pointing dramatically at her scar, "look at the scar, look how big it is!" and i said, "yeah, you should see the two going across each of my breasts." She refused to acknowledge my comment. Bear in mind that my mother is 70 years old, 100 pounds overweight, and a 5 inch scar on her knee is not going to stop her from winning the beauty contest.

Just_V

CrazyKittie - you made me laugh out loud.. literally.

tinkertude

I tell you people just dont think/! I went to my primary care doc the other day and saw a PA. The nurse came in before she did and took my vitals was in some pain on my upper left side,told her i had breast revison surgery 2 weeks ago, well when the PA came in she said " well its probably from your breast augmentation surgery", I said it was a revsion from reconstruction from breast cancer please read my chart next time". Her whole attitude change and she all of a sudden became more concerned and said oh sorry didnt know that!  again read my chart I am not a new patient here.

Leah_S

Tink, after a friend went to a new doc once she said, "He did something I've never seen a doc do before. He read my chart."

Leah

tinkertude

Leah..lol how true I am learning that is! Grateful when one finally does

chabba

I went to a new Onc on Monday.  She not only read my chart, she had read it before she came to the exam room to meet me!  I had asked for a change because the first Onc didn't like answering questions and acted as though I probably wouldn't understand if he did answer.  Really like the new one....maybe in part because she is one of us and understands that life changing moment.

sas-schatzi

Chabba and tink I changed Onc's for similar reasons. My new Onc read my chart beforehand and got new things started like Aromasin UGH. BUT I couldn't refuse him b/c I asked for him. Now lets see it fri. 309am and Ihave been up since wed morning. Thank you AI"S and pain meds.