Chemo Starting Sep 09
Comments
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hi all my wonderful surthriver sisters,
Whew just had several pages to catch up on! What a busy lot you have all been.
First of all WOW to the new pics from barb and amy. you are both gorgeous! And Melinda thank you for the Tigger pic! It made my Tuesday.
Hugs and pats to all the ladies lying low from se's this week. I am so sorry you have had a hard time and hope you start to feel better soon. Onty watch that fever and definitely go to Dr if needed.And HAPPY BIRTHDAY for the 10th!!!!
vickilynn I hope your husband's surgery went well and he feels a lot better after.I also have the 'metal mouth' and my tastebuds feel as if they have been shorn off. Hard to find things that taste really good any more isnt it?
Susan the comments already posted re your oncologist visit are terrific and I can't agree more. It is YOUR body, YOUR health, YOUR well being - your Drs are meant to be doing their absolute best for YOU, so by all means give her another go (with a support person beside you to help ask and listen) but then if no good, find a DR you will be comfortable with. And you are definitely entitled to have copies of all reports.
Girls I had a houseful of people here on Sat morning - my sister and I held our combined birthday celebration in the form of a Mad Hatters Tea Party (along with appropriate Alice in Wonderland themes) and everyone wore a hat or scarf in solidarity of the bald one...it was great fun and a good chance to catch up a bit with some friends I hadn't seen for a while... but so exhausting! Had to go and lie down once they had gone.
Does anyone else find the fatigue is cumulative? After 2 tx's I think it is starting to creep up. My default setting is 'tired' lately and then switches to exhausted too easily. Horrid.
Anyway my next tx is on Thursday and hubby and I are heading off for our pre-tx night in Sydney tomorrow afternoon so that is really something to look forward to. Am worried about him the last week - he has been there totally for me all year - by my bed in hospital (both times) then to all my various appointments and treatments. He is normally the laughter factory - makes us both laugh constantly - and very organised and able to juggle lots of balls in the air at once - but said the other day in some despair "I can't seem to plan anymore", and is very low and down today - he is actually in having an afternoon nap as I type this - it is all just catching up with him I guess. I hope our little treat night away will help boost his mood again.
I ditto the idea of a quiet space for a SOS reunion should it happen! Preferably somewhere very beautiful.
love to you all and have a good week.
Neece
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Good Morning Gals,
At work today, hoping I feel at least a little interested in getting something accomplished other than wanting to strangle the walking germ factory that is my helper.....vile woman, vile I say.
Congrats to all the bold and beautiful ladies who have posted pics of their glorious noggins! YOU GUYS ROCK!!! I myself am getting stubbles on my wee cranium now. My luck, the onc will decide to continue my therapy and it will all fall out again LOL Oh well, I'm diggin the wrap and go ease in the morning. The prickly little stubbles are sharrrrrrrrp.
Jane, glad you are tasting at least a little again. WHAT is up with choosing a salad??? You need something more substantial, something with POP and SIZZLE when you can taste again. Something like garlicky pasta or a big hunk stinky cheese!!! mmmmmmmm. I'm going to start putting clay on my tree this weekend. I wanted to start when I get home from work, but for some reason I am drained at the end of the day and all I want to do is shower, eat and go to bed. Motorcycles are fun, and thankfully when the cancer crept up on me, I already had a huge supply of dooo rags
Bonus!Toni, I want to break bread with you! I'll even cook. I cannot wait to meet you and it will happen, I can feel it! These friendships have more than just the surface glow.....it's way deeper. We share a bond that thankfully not all women share
BC, the tie that binds! ugh LOL I ordered a hoodie last night that says "Yeah their fake, my real ones tried to kill me"....it so fits. No one believes my "Pop in Pop out" foobs are fake....so I'm gonna advertise 
Neece, I get so tired I ache. I haven't had a treatment in weeks, but my @ss is still dragging my tracks out. This has to end. Eventually it will. Hang in there. I'm thinking of you. If I find a cure for the lack of oomph, I'll let you know. As far as the metal taste, mine wasn't metallic, it was more bitter..... I found sweet stuff appealing. Fattening, hence all the cookies I've baked and pies, and cobblers......but, you do what you gotta do.
Barb, give that Doc a chance, then give her hell.
Be your own best advocate and take back up, you know, someone who will lie for you in court AND help you bury the bodies!Love and hugs to all of you! Have a wonderful day and if you can't do that, then I pray you have a tolerable day....
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Hi My Friends:
Pamela -You almost make me potty my pants each time I read your posts. Can you see it? I have a pic window...Im on my computer, I jump up crossing my legs together, bald head and all...and run to the potty just in time. All this dang H20 !! Im gonna zap you w/ tons of energy right now...Here it comes...Bam !! There..Lots of love and thoughts and energy your way. you so deserve it.
You know I have never asked for a cookie. I will have a cookie please from each of you bakers. Im gonna be a moo moo. Since I broke my hip I dont bake much. My hubby does, but not the sweet stuff. Darn him
Neece - Here we go , all the energy to you too. Wham ! There ya go. You hug that hubby of yours all night on your special night out and tell him you love him. He will feel better, I promise. I will be thinking of you Thursday, my love.
Susan - Best of luck at your appointment. Sometimes we have to grow a big set of .... you know what I mean. Actually, I bet things will all work out. Take care my busy friend. Its always so nice to read your posts and all the time you spend w/ your family.
Onty - Hope your feeling better today. PA should have more training than a RN. But...in Montana the RN's go to school longer. Although the PA's can write scripts, diagnose, go figure.
Barbara - I am wishing you a tigger day today. Im gonna zap you w/ my happy zap. Wham ! There ya go. One big awesome Happy zapped day.No really, I hope you are better today and I love ya girl.
Melinda - OMG the blog looks great ! I even commented on somebodys blog. It is beautiful, Melinda. Thank you so very much. BTW, how are you feeling and doing. Ya know you just go on and on about doing things for us and making things and I dont ever hear you complain...Not that you have to. I just want you to know if you ever need to talk or vent or cry, PM me or talk to us all. The last thing I remember is your headaches. I know those were awful and I sure am not wishing any SE's upon you but are you Tiggery? Your always so caring of us. Thank you.
VickiLynn - my love, how are you feeling? Hubby? Sending lots of prayers your way for today. Im sure he will be glad when this is over. Thinking of you both. God Bless you.
Jane - Is your tummy better? Would you like the 20lbs I gained? Love to give them to you. I have no trouble w/ tastes or eating. I am wishing you relief w/ that. Not good to lose that much weight -you need your strength! Im thinking of you. Take Care and thank you for all you do here for us.
Barb - You look Hot !!! Go Girl
Catherine - Zap to you w/ energy. Wham ! Feel it? All the energy and strength you need. Take care, girl.
Hello RonnieKay, Mari, Flacracker, China and Domegirl
Id like to formally say goodbye but yet wish you all the luck, health and happiness you all deserve to Karen, Dogsaver, Delaine, Vicki, Bette, and Puffins - stop in anytime and let us know how you are. I am hoping you found a supportive thread to help you through your journey.
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Melinda- How do I find the blog?
Thanks
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Mornin all you Gorgeous Gals!!!
Okay...I'm gonna attempt to actually update everyone...My head is in complete LaLa Land and the hike to the Hundred Acre woods is a bit of a mission! I seem to be able to read up on everyone's progress and even think of you all often...just can't translate head to computer in order to post!
Okay so I'll start with all of you and then if I can keep up the pace and you have the energy to continue you can see what's new on our side...
VickiLynn: Sending you and Hubby lots of back-on-your-feet-in-a-jiffy Vibes, I hope all goes well today. Keep that Tag team arm in good shape!
Jane: Looks like we're both tasting again..YAY! My tongue felt and tasted like a dead rubber tire and for some reason Dill pickles tasted Sweet, yeck! hmmm...think a good garlicky chicken ceasar with extra bacon and croutons is the salad I'd go for!
Susan: Good luck with your Onc. visit! Looks like you're headed in the right direction for taking back control. I've been through a few wankers since I started this journey and I'm so glad I kept looking for the team that I felt comfortable with.
Melinda: Yup...what Catherine asked...Where do we find the Blog??
Pamela: WHAT??? Why didn't anyone inform me there were cookies on this side..(oh ya I went AWOL) (Mari accepts slap upside the bald spot and sheepishly asks for a cookie?!) And OMG I was shocked as well to hear they were cutting you off the killer koolaid, but glad you are trusting your docs and I tell you what sister...There's no way we're lettin anything further happen to you...this army is gonna personally stand in the way of any further little beggers that think they can attack you...Just think of an Army of Tiggers ready to Bounce!!
Neece: Have a wonderful night out with Hubby, Send him a chin up from Spain, our S.O's definitely deserve a coockie and a cuddle too! Sorry I won't be joining you in the chair this round..They're sittin my butt down a day early, harrumph!
Toni: I just have to say I love your Bald noggin!!!
Okay...everyone else...I know there is a heap I'm missing, like who's making the amazing pendants and who's organizing the reunion, and all you creative writers who made me cry last night...and..and..and...I just don't want to back up the page in case I lose this..
So I'd definitly be up for a reunion but may have some logistical problems with Fhubby and the wee one?!??! I mean if you're going to be asking the richest 100...shouldn't ya'll go big and ask them for a trip to Spain, hint hint, wink wink....
Oh and while I'm winking...heehee...I think I found the solution to Bone Pain...(you delicate sorts cover your eyes) Good Ol' Fashion lovin! Nothing like having your Fhubby come home after 2 months at the hight of SE's...well I tell you what Mildred...Wink Wink.
And a quick tale from the Bald side...I have decided I really dislike scarves, hats and the like, I pretty much go out Au-natural which is a good thing since my dear Jax is quick to tell everyone "My mummy has a good boobie, her other boobie was broken but she still has a good one, and her has no hair!" So I tell ya, I might as well advertise ahead of that little speech!
Well that's pretty much me for the moment, Fhubby is back to weekdays in Barcelona and weekends home, I go into the chair again tomorrow - round 3 and half way through! Oh and some crazy mother decided that whilst in the middle of an up week she should make her daughter a mermaid costume from scratch without a pattern (That's where I really was hiding all week and if I should happen to do it again please send the crafting police with a straight jacket!) And to end...Driving+Steroids+inconsiderate people+3 yr olds are a bad combination...New words abound!!!
My Very best to you all and keep bouncing!!!
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Hey Guys-I just wanted to stop in and say love the posts.
Barb and Amy you look marvelous.
Mari-I am sending the craft police after you next time silly girl.
Pamela where do you get the energy?
Toni- Thank you and super big hugs.
VickiLynn- Hope you and the hubby are doing OK.
Melinda and Jane thank you for the headache advice, and Tigger too.
Susan we are al going to be with you in spirit at the docs.
Onty-hope you are better
Neece- I really believe a little quality time with your hubby in a nice room-neither of you have to clean-will help recharge both your batteries.
Catherine hope you are staying positive.
And thats about all I can do I still have a headache. Called the onc Monday and he said it is probably a side effect of the Emend. I am really going crazy. Ever since the bleeding ulcers the only pain pill not off limits is Tylenol. But they, the onc's office, said I could take a buffered asprin, one, with a Tylenol, if it got too bad, but very sparingly-maybe once. I took one last night and finally felt some relief, but by 3 am it was back with a vengeance. Chewing gum helps and eating really cold stuff helps, but it is all temporary and is essentially making me crazy as I try to cope with the throbbing and act like a normal, mom, wife, employee etc.. I see my onc next Monday and REALLY hope he has some better ideas cause 6 more weeks of this is not going to work.
My love and hugs to you all
Barbara
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Barb I'm feelin' for ya....the headaches just shut you down....do you have enough moisture in the house....with the heat on these days...it sucks the humidity out of the house....try boiling water or borrowing a humidifier ....who knows...maybe it will help.... Hopefully next time around it will go away....I'm crossing my fingers for you!
Mamamari...you are too funny...glad somethings working on those SE'S....I'm a for Spain getaway...maybe near the coast?????
Here's the blog info address :http://septembersoutstandingsisters.blogspot.com/
You'll have to copy and paste it on to your browser as my link button above is NOT functional????Anyways...it is not near ready...but everyone take a look and be sure you agree with the format etc....please don't hesitate to share all feelings good or bad,,,,no feelings hurt here....just trying to get our story as close as I can to what I feel we are all looking for. If you want to be able to add your own content, just PM me your email address and I'll send an administration approval for that...If you want anything adjusted, changed, added etc...and want me to do it....please PM me...I am happy to do so for any of you! I have a few things to change,... but have been feeling good and being outside as much as possible right now...so it'll have to wait til I have sofa time again. Anyways...you'll get the gist....One thing though...it posts the opposite of here so the beginning posts are at the bottom and the most recent are at the top~ Just another thing to put confusion in our chemo brains....
So let me know what you think ...Things to add, things to take away!...Thoughts, ideas, dreams etc
Hugs,
Melinda
PS...I had Thai food yesterday......It was sooooo good! I tasted every bite....not always so in this mouth lately!
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Oh my god Melinda just looked at the blog!! It is wonderful. WIll pm you with my email address but just wanted to say a big thank you for getting this started..
Can we put photos on there? Would be lovely to have a few easier to see pics of us all... what do you all think?
Barb so sorry bout your headaches... I have been plagued by migraines (mostly hormonally related) for about 10 years now - they are so debilitating - life just stops when one comes calling - strangely enough I have just had 'normal' headaches (if ther is such a thing!) since i started chemo - not sure what that means but I am enjoying the relief from the monthly migraine visitor - so I totally understand your frustration at the ongoing headaches. I really encourage you to keep on your Dr's case about it as surely there is something they can offer you to help??
love to all
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Try rubbing some Vicks Vapo rub on your neck...... it helps with my migraines. For really really bad blinding ones, I rub it on my temples too
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I heard you can rub it on your feet too!
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Hello SOSisters...having a good day, can taste again and I am so thankful!
Onty - sorry you are feeling poorly. Please go back to the doctor if that temp. doesn't go away, even if you have to see the PA!
Neece - my doctor told me that the chemo does have a cummulative effect. Oh joy! Sounds like you had a wonderful birthday. I hope you and hubby are having a wonderful time on your night out adventure and my thoughts will be with you during txt. My hubby got a little down too, it must be so hard of them but they keep going and I'm sure your night out will help.
Pamelajo - not quite sure I'm ready for garlic yet but definitely on the mind. Have you run that vile woman off yet? Can't wait to see your tree! You sound like me, I have all sorts of plans after get I get off work but so far they just aren't happening!
Toni - while I appreciate your offer of 20 lbs, I have enough already and now that taste buds are coming back I'm sure the 11 lbs will come back too! I don't bake so if you get any extra cookies you can send them to me! I want some energy too!
Mari - so glad you posted. I know you were so glad for your hubby to get home and sounds like he was able to cure what was ailing you (hmmmm). I am hoping our donor will fly us all somewhere absolutely lovely and I've included in my letter that one of our sisters is in Australia, one in Spain and scattered all over the US. I'm not letting you and Neece get away! More power to you for making a costume from scratch - you go girl.
BarbAnne41 - I am so sorry you are having such headaches. What about a massage? Maybe they could just massage your temples and help you relax. I hate you have to wait until Monday, can you push for an earlier appt.? They also have another pill besides Emend you can take, ask your onc. Be thinking of you!
Vickilynn - I'm thinking of you and hoping all is well with you and hubby came through surgery with flying colors.
Melinda - talented one, see everyone loves your blog! We don't mind waiting for sofa time altho we hate you have to have sofa time!
Catherine - hope you are feeling well!
Susan - how did it go? Please fill us in on all the details!
Barb0323, Flacracker, RonnieKay, Amy, ChinaBlue, Dogsaver - I hope you are all well!
Take care everyone, no side effects.
Thoughts & prayers are with you!
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Hello All
I am going to try to post a picture with the help of my daughter after work today. I think it really makes a difference being able to put a face to a name. Had a great day yesterday. Plenty of energy and got alot done at home.
Mamamari- I have to agree with going natural. At work when I sit at my desk off goes the headcover. I work with 4 other women and they are find with it. It didn't faze them at all. My boss is a guy and said at first it was a shock but by the end of the day it seemed normal. Good luck with round # 3.
BarbAnne- I am so sorry about the headaches. I hardly ever get them but when I do I can't concentrate. Hopefully your onc can come up with a solution.
Melinda- Thanks for the blog info. I can't wait to get to it.
Neece- Hoping for a tx with no drama. Hope you had a great time with your DH
jadams- It is amazing when your taste comes back. Everthing seems to taste even better.
Thinking of all of you and keeping you in my prayers
THINK POSITIVE
chat with you soon
Catherine
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Good afternoon my beautiful sisters!
Wow, do I have a lot of catching up to do. I have had an incredibly busy few days at work. My co-worker was on vacation Monday and Tuesday. I was exhausted when I got out of here. Thank goodness she is back. Other than being exhausted have been doing pretty good. Since we have two Barb's you can call me Barb T - that is what everyone at work calls me since we have more than one.
Susan, thanks so much for the persimmon cookies. I could smell them all of the way here in Florida. I hope you are doing well.
Jane, hope things are going well for you at work. I certainly know it is hard and it takes a lot out of you. I am going to the LGFG class November 9th. I am really looking forward to it. Definitely count me in on the reunion wherever, whenever I would not miss it.
Melinda, I looked at the blog and it brought tears to my eyes. You did a fantastic job!
Neece, I like your idea about going away the night before chemo. In my case, I think I am going to do it the weekend before. I live only a few miles from the Gulf of Mexico and now that the weather is a little cooler just love going down there.
Well, have to get back to work. My love to you all. My thoughts are with everyone going through treatment this week and those with SE's. Better days will come!
Barb T
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Quick update: Husband had kidney stone blasted yesterday, but they left a stent in (from his kidney to bladder) that will need to be removed in about 3 days. His Blood Sugars were sky high and they decided not to do it yesterday. He has a lot less pain today and we are very grateful. I'm over a week out now from tx and still having waves of nausea. I was hoping to enjoy the next 2 week break but sure don't have much energy. Other than that, my spirits are good. I'm reading all your posts but will save more comments for later.
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Hello SOSisters... well worked all day again today but was tired when I got up. Then had a little weepy spell this evening when realizing that next week is txt week #3. I know I'll be halfway through but I sure don't want to do it again, I'm just now feeling better! But enough about baby me....
Catherine - can't wait to see your photo! It really does help to have a face to put with the name. I am changing mine this weekend. Glad you are feeling well and have lots of energy.
BarbT - I have also been incredible busy at work, my co-worker has taken a few days off and I'm also doing double duty but glad to be able to do it! I'd like to go somewhere on the gulf. We use to live in Ft. Walton Beach years ago. I really enjoyed the LGFG class and would highly recommend it to all. People at work told me my color was really good yesterday and today (what a little different make-up will do).
Vickilynn - sorry you not feeling good, you hang in there! It took me 10 days this time and I'm still only at 90% but I can taste again altho not real hungry. Glad your husband is doing okay, is he still in the hospital?
To everyone else - I'm thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way. Hope if you had txt you are doing great with no se's and if you are getting over se's I hope they are gone! Take care.
Thoughts & prayers are with you!
Jane
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Dear Vicklynn,
Hope your husband recovers well from the kidney stone treatment.
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Vickylynn, glad your husband is fairing well, hope everything goes well with having the stent removed.
Jane, Hope that weepy spell is passing...I had a huge wobbly myself when I realized I'd have to go in alone, it was actually okay to just lie in there and catch some rest. And knowing it was the halfway mark really helped me get through the dread. Hang in there sister, we're almost through!
Catherine, Hello gorgeous!!! Love the pic!
Barb T, glad your co-worker is back...now it's time to let her take over some of the load.
Neece, Best to you in the chair today, hope your night out was fantastic!
Pamela, are you ok???
Looks like we've got alot of tired ladies out there...keep your chins up...and hopefully out of the toilet bowl!! Jax and I are having a Pajama Jammie day today, just took my Dex so hopefully will have a bit more energy for the day before I take that darn Nuelasta this evening. Fhubby home tonight so just need to hang in until then. He's definitely on Daddie duty all weekend!
Sure envy all you ladies out there with incredible programs for this bloody process. I used to work for Esteé Lauder way back and remember how great the support was. I'm still just trying to find a live support group here in Spain...but they just don't seem to have that here so until then I'll just be advertising my bald head and hoping to run into others. And of course staying here in the warmth of all your virtual hugs! Sending heaps toall today.
Love ya...Mx
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Good Morning Ladies!
I have been swamped at work, and they just keep piling it on....my little chemo laden brain is struggling to take it all in. My cube looks like post it note hell. LOL Rainbows of post it's in different sizes. I made one that says "remember to make a note". I used to be a smart cookie, now I'm chemotarded. Oh well, it's an excuse and I'll take any excuse I can get.
Vicki, thankful your hubby's pain is relieved, and praying your icks will go away today! Ginger tea darlin, it works wonders and tastes so good.
Jane you wild woman you. Weeping and smiling at the same time (and you know you smiled a moment before you weeped) is a sign of craziness! YAY! welcome to my world..... Being insane can be fun. Embrace it! Sure people stare, but when you are crazy, you don't care. See? Great huh?
Catherine, your head! It is GORGEOUS!!! Have a cookie. Chocolate/peppermint........christmas recipe
Mari....I am GREAT!!! Just busy, which stinks. I'll try to get on from home tonight and address everyone else, but I wanted to ease your concern
I am indeed, splendid -
Chemotarded....is the word of the day.....too funny! Today I'm heading up to the tennis club for BC Fundraiser....Get to show my bald head....luckily a friend just knitted me a really cool pumpkin hat and maybe I'll wear that in honor of fall/halloween...cause next week I'll feel like crap and will miss the whole holiday....It will be a sad day...cause I've never missed it before.....My kids will troll the town and I'll be home watching reruns of House....fast forwarding through the commercials.... Austin has a halloween party & I'm the grade mother...And I'll miss that and his theatre club has a halloween fashion show and I'll miss that.....I'll be home watching reruns of Bones or Csi or something like that...fast forwarding through the commercials.....honestly after this last chemo, I don't think I'll ever watch tv again or drink water! WAA WAA...see I'm already building up the dread of the next TX...need to just let it go I guess....It's coming no matter how much I whine....
Good luck today ladies of TX...Wishing you any easy go of it and easier SE's than last time.....
Austin bought 3 pumpkins yesterday to make a pumpkin snowman....hmmm... don't know where he got that idea???
Enjoy the day......a great nights sleep...
Melinda
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You are all amazing and beautiful and wonderful. I have missed you all this week. I have my tx in a few hours, and a visit with the onc 1st. It is going to go great, and I am taking all of your positive vibes and questions with me, thanks Melinda and everyone else who has helped me think through this. I will be back this afternoon to fill you all in. I have so much to say to all of you. I hope everyone else with treatments today is doing okay. I am planning to have a Tiggerrific treatment! Oh yeah, and I have some awesome frozen cookie dough that I can bake up with no effort for all of you. I have chocolate chip, lemon cranberry, triple chocolate chunk, and rockie road, and oatmeal honey (homemade choc chip, and everything else is from a cookie dough fundraiser that my daughters choir did, they are really good though) oh and buttercrunch (that one sounds great).
Love & Hugs,
Susan
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Good Morning!
Pamelajo, I love it chemotarded. I can certainly relate to that! I have been doing a lot of stupid things! At least now we have a really good excuse. Yeah, I know what you mean about the working really piling up.
Susan and everyone else going through tx this week. We are all with you holding your hand and have warm thoughts.
Melinda, I am also have tx next week on Thursday. Halloween is going to be on Saturday. Difficult this time of year with holidays coming up. I usually go all out for Halloween and decorate. Did go out and get the candy. Made sure I got a big bag of stuff that I like.........
To all my September sisters you are all beautiful!
Barb T
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Hello Sisters
Thanks for all the lovely compliments about my hairless head. I am really comfortable going topless and sometimes forget to put me hat on when I leave my desk (cubicle) or the house. Feel good today and looking forward to a great weekend because the next won't be so great.
Jane-I am starting to get alittle anxious about my tx next week because of my allergic reation last time. I am trying to keep my mind thinking of other things. Cookies sound good.
Mamamari- Hopefully you will run into another baldly and share some helpful info.
Pamalajo-I love the note "make a note". That sounds like me even when I'm note going through chemo. I am going to use chemotarded from now on. Chocolate/peppermint sounds fantastic.
Melinda- Enjoy your fundraiser. I have a friend that knitted me 2 hats. One was pink that I wanted for this month and it happens to be my favorite color. Also, a navy one for the weekend when I wear my jeans. Sorry you are going to miss the holiday next weekend. Can you have someone take lots of pictures? My kids are older (16,15) so next weekend won't be a factor.
Susan- I love your great attitude. Good luck with tx. I'll put my order in for buttercrunch it does sound goooood!!
THINK POSITIVE
chat with you soon
Catherine
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Good Morning all Chemotards! I am having another "down" day....I am so exhausted that I can't even think. I was so swamped at work yesterday and I cried on the way home. I tried to go in today, but started crying as I backed my car out of the garage....I seriously do not know how people continue to work full time during tx....I am trying to keep up my 30 hours, but it seems after 3 tx's that the side effects are catching up to me. I was calling myself a "chemo freak" because I seemed to be having none of the side effects, but now I think I might just be a freak!!!
This has been such an emotional journey so far and I am having a hard time adjusting and I have a lot of support, so I should be doing fine, but I am not. I hate looking in the mirror at what used to be my breasts and seeing what I call "moon rocks" from the TE injections. It just seems like a long process to go through to get well and to look somewhat normal again. And I do wonder, if life will ever be normal again. I used to look forward to the holidays, but am now scheduled for chemo for the week of Thanksgiving and the week of Christmas...that seems to be how my treatments will fall. I have my final AC Wednesday and then on to Taxol for another 4. Not looking forward to those because they last for 3 hours I have been told by the onc nurse. Hope everyone has a good weekend....Sorry to be a Debbie Downer...just a real hard day!! -
Hello my dear Sisters!
You are Bald and Beautiful Catherine! I'm actually getting more comfortable with my bald head in public and even sent a photo of Don and I with our twin heads to all our friends far and near. One good friend, however, wasn't prepared for it and she said she just cried when she saw it. (Jealous, I guess!)
For our book, I've been re-reading our posts from Day One and I have to tell you how blessed I feel to know you all. We are an amazing group... so encouraging, and yet so honest. I can't believe we only met about 2 months ago (and some of you less than that).
DH - I assume the "D" stands for dear, but nobody ever spelled it out! anyway, my DH will have his stent removed next Tuesday. He's feeling less pain each day and when that comes out, I think he'll be good as new again! Thanks for all your prayers and good wishes.
Autumn is just hitting us here and I love this season. I heard this illustration once and I think it's great. In the "Fall" the leaves don't really fall from the tree... they are pushed off by the new growth. As the leaves get ready for next spring, they actually cut through the old leaf, sending it to the ground. It's a good illustration for us. If we want to get rid of old thoughts, habits, and produce new "fruit" in our lives, then we have to be growing. Remember that leaves only cling to a dead tree branch. So let's keep on growing and being fruitful with whatever time we've been given!
Wish we could all go to Susan's right now and she could bake ALL the cookies in her freezer and Pamela could bring some persimmon cookies and we'd make a big pot of herbal tea and I could give you all hugs and talk to your actual faces and you could change your clothes (because every day I look at you, you have the same clothes on) and we could laugh together and we could cry together...
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Vicki, LOL, I'm wearing a grey thermal top today instead of a white one.....and the temporary skull tat on my head has been replaced by a butterfly
There are flies all over the office, but I think I remember showering last night. Hmmmm. I'm nearly positive I did. lol, at least I know I didn't have this shirt on yesterday...but what was I wearing yesterday??? Chemotardation strikes again.DomeGal, don't sweat the breakdowns. I work 50 hours a week, and at times, even when I feel great, I get the blues. The week after my tx's, I'm lucky to stay at work for 30 hours. I cry at the drop of a scarf, I bite, I sneer. That's just getting ready for work.....imagine once I get here! That vile woman who helps me is lucky she still breaths. Oh dear, I'm rambling. Anyway, just vent and cry. It's perfectly normal in this unnatural state we find ourselves in. Give yourself a little time on the fainting couch and have a good bawl
You'll feel better. Youre sick afterall, it IS ALL ABOUT YOU!!!! -
Hello lovely ladies-
Catherine- you look lovely!!
Mari- I am really sorry there isn't a support group there, there is one here but I just can't bring myself to drive all the way back up to the hospital, especially after I have been all the way over to that area all day for work, so I use this room. I hope you find some support, but until then our warmth will help.
Pamela- chemotarted that is the word of the day, and week-I love it. I have some coworkers that make me crazy can we get together and take care of them all?
Susan-we are with you in spirit i hope all is well.
Vickilynn I am so glad your hubby is on the mend, and you are right this is quite a group very special.
Barb-T, Jane, Melinda( the blog is BEAUTIFUL_a great big thank you) DomeGal, Toni, Onty and Neece and anyone else I am forgetting, much love and calmness is sent your way.
I have figured out a nice drug combo that seems to rid myself of headaches, pretty much, and has made life really tolerable.
Just like many of you mentioned I too have my 2nd tx next Tuesday and am really getting anxious about the way I will feel for Halloween. I really like that holiday, it doesn't have all the expectations of Thanksgiving and Christmas, and it is really fun. I think part of what makes me anxious is it seems as if each treatment is a pull of the roulette, se's are not always the same and we have to be prepared for whatever. I told someone at work today that chemo was a great equalizer and the one thing I have learned is if I have a good appetite and am feeling pain free I need to be joyous in those days-I think that is pretty accurate.
I agree with what everyone mentioned about work. I am maxing out my hours this week because I really don't know what will happen next week. Day-by-day-right ladies?
Someone at work said to me-wow thats a great wig-and I looked at them and said, I have only had one tx, it is my real hair, talk to me next week (my onc said day 17). I thought that was funny.
I know there was something else I wanted to say but for the life of me it is gone.
Much love and positive vibes. For those in tx this week, you are in my thoughts and prayers, for those of us in tx next lets try and enjoy the days coming without the dread.
Barbara
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SOSisters,
I'm rolling in laughter...you guys are sooo funny! I have this picture of myself in oversized leotards coming up to my neck and then just my bald head....Not sure if you can picture it....But I am a Chemotard....
big, blobby and dense...... If I'd feel better I'd dress up like that for Halloween!Vicki...DH is dear husband on the days he's sweet....and Da_n husband on the days he's grumpy....Mine's only sweet though...Glad your hubbys' getting better....It will make the home more happy each day...
Pamela...we've been invaded with these bugs that look like ladybugs....millions of them everywhere....they sneak in our old farmhouse and they dive bomb my bald head for some crazy reason.... So we all take turns sucking them up with the vacuum to keep them at bay....anyone else have these bugs?? BTW where on your head is your tat...? You need a SOS tatoo...that would be cool!
Catherine...you definitely pull off this bald thing with complete grace! I would never wear a head covering if I were you...you look great!
So what's up with the Taxol...I'm not getting it...but what's the scoop in side effects etc....have you guys been researching on this....Just wondering..haven't heard much about it.
Who else is finishing A/C or another type next week?? Domegal, Me, Vicki? Anyone else??
Hope you're all well...hope you're doing good Susan!
Hugs to all you chemotards... Melinda
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Hey Melinda-
I heard a couple things about Taxol, I am suppose to have it after A/C, but I am pretending to just focus on the A/C, it makes me feel better.
Taxol is suppose to be easier on the body SE wise.
But there is some Neurapathy (spelling?) as it builds. Tingling in the finger tips and toes. They are suppose to ask you each week how the tingling is because if it gets to bad they stop it so the SE's aren't permanent.
Also it can turn your fingernails black and in some cases they pop off. But I heard that, the falling off part is rare.
I was also told, by the nurses, that is takes less time to infuse but for the first one they make you lay down to be sure you don't have a severe allergic reaction, which again is rare, but still a possibility.
I love your image- of the leotard. Too funny.
Are the bugs a little bigger than a ladybug and black with a couple orange stripes?
Here in Michigan we get those and a weird Japanese biting ladybugs during our warm spells in October. The black ones with orange are box elders.
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Melinda,
I am halfway thru my 12 weeks of Taxol. Everything Barbanne said is correct.
I did have an allergic reaction the first time and 4 nurses sprang into action I didn't even have time to get scared. They also called the onc and she came right over. They increased my pre-chemo Decadron and i never had another reaction. They always start the Taxol really slowly and gradually increase the rate. I have sinus issues and some fatigue and some constipation and neuropathy. I still get at least 32 hours at work.
After the Taxol, I will have surgery then Adriamycin/Cytoxen in Jan and Feb so I am backwards from you girls.
Love to you all, especially the ones having eeyore (sp?) days,
Amy
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The a/c has caused some neuropathology(used spell check) in my feet only...starting with the first one...it has gotten better since the beginning but I still have numb like painful bottoms of feet. The fingernail thing sounds sort of scary...did I read somewhere that if you soak your fingers/feet in ice water during the tx, it's supposed to help with that? Anyone heard that? Does it make you tired like the A/C?
Anyways...thanks for the info...I just haven't been following the taxol avenue very closely...helps to understand what's going on with some of you.
Anyone have a lumpectomy on a side lump? Curious how it went and recovery time, etc...also hearing about drains....
Ok...will be adding to the blog next week...Making 50 gallons of sour kraut for New Years at our annual Kraut Stomp here at the farm this Sat...lot's of friends and family coming and making a big pot of Pork, kraut and mashed potatoes for lunch....It's a Pennsylvania Dutch tradition....anyways...no free time from here on out....I'll be checking in everyday though in case anyone needs help! They say eating Sour Kraut on New Years brings luck...so if anyone wants a bag...LMK and I'll send some with the pendants
..Have a tigger Friday!
Melinda
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