MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

Footballnut

elimar love it!!  Lol

Thanks for ur kind words!!!!  For those about to rock we salute you!!!

Despite this f*cking cancer I still feel 16 and will still bang my  soon to be bald head whenever I get the chance!!!!

I'll go to chemo with my sunglasses and rock n roll attire. Well maybe not to the first one. I don't want to scare anybody!!

Lol

Momine

MakeLemonade, my mom rode her bike to and from chemo. I think my aunt did too. That doesn't mean everyone can/should, but both ladies were around 70 when they did this.

I was usually OK during and after, but if we got home around 2 PM, by 6 PM I was completely crashed out. I did not usually feel terrible or anything, just exhausted as if I had run 3 marathons or something. Other people run around like energizer bunnies for a few days, because of the steroids they give you with the chemo. I never responded to steroids that way, but my mom did. She would come home from chemo (on her bike), then do spring cleaning for two days. THEN she would crash out for a while.

lisa137

If I had lived close to my cancer center I could have driven myself to and from chemo with no problem. Most times I'd definitely feel different after chemo, but not sick or so bad that a short trip would have been a bad idea. But.... I live just over an hour from the center, and my husband chose to drive me each time. And then back the next day for the Neulasta shot. Several times we made an "afternoon" of it, depending on how I felt; going to the mall and eating at the food court (while my taste buds still worked,) shopping (he bought me the coolest purse ever on one of our last trips,) or running errands. When on A/C I tended to either get just a little nauseous OR have heartburn that felt like a porcupine lodged in my gullet that evening, but that wasn't usually til 7 or 8 at night.

The upside of having my husband there for all my infusions was that during the  A/C he would go out and get me a chocolate milkshake before the adriamycin infusions so I didn't have to eat plain old crushed ice. And he'd bring  us lunch.  Plus it was just nice to have him there for company.

elimar86861

Oh, that's right, Momine!   I was hopped up on the steroids the first two days.  The first night was usually fairly sleepless, second night not so much and then the crash on day three.

My 78 year old mom drove herself to and from chemo, often stopping to get some groceries on the way back because it wouldn't hit until that first evening.

Notbuyingit

ML, are you being given steriods the first few days? I was -  so i was ramped up for those days then by the weekend ( i had treatments on Wed) I would be down for the count til about the following Wed - the SE got a little worse with each treatment.

F-Nut I never had to drive myself - mine is an hour away - but i probably could have, at least in the beginning. Sometimes my DH drove me crazy being there - bless his heart mostly I read or listened to music - we usually had lunch from the cafeteria - I had no problem eating  - usually by the 3rd week I was almost back to normal. I most always had a room by myself - the treatments themselves were pretty uneventful 

Eph3_12

My mom insisted on accompanying me to my treatments.  At the time I felt like I was keeping her from doing other things.  Now that she's gone, I treasure those times in my heart. 

I had no problem driving to and from chemo but I was only about 5 minutes away, but Mom wouldn't let me.  So I was chauffeured thru my whole chemo ordeal.

My treatment was on Thursday.  By Sunday afternoon I was done for the count until Tuesday, after the 2nd round. 

MameMe-sorry you are back..we will try to live up to expectations.  Life can really be a bitch sometimes!

Footballnut

the hospital called and gave me my appt to have my port inserted. Tuesday April 29   8am. After the procedure I have to get blood work then meet with my oncologist

Then I start chemo the next day at noon

So once I got off the phone with the appt I cried like a baby!!!  

I can't believe that they will insert the thing and use it the same day!!

So here I am petrified again!

Then I scrutinized my pathology report and am questioning how I can have a positive outlook if my cancer is triple positive with macro cells in 2 lymph nodes. So I'm scared all over again!

Arrrrrgh!!!!!! 

What a roller coaster!!!!

lovewins

Busy thread!  I always enjoys everyone's humor and smile inside when I see someone has posted here.

FBN...it is a roller coaster ride like no other I had experienced.  Hang on do what feel good and right to you.

Someone asked about driving home from chemo and I am sorry I don't know who but I had my boyfriend drive me to and I would call him to pick me up.  I think it was more for the emotional support than anything.  It is about a half an hour drive.  I would feel really pretty good until day 3 after getting Neulesta shot on day 2.  I was down for the count day 3 and gradually feel better each day.  I would also take walks around the block and it helped a lot.  Getting control of food, water and medication seemed to be my main focus in life during that time but it sure helped.   Also I regret taking hot showers because it was not good for my skin and cause hand foot syndrome.  I did so for comfort but in the long run it caused problems. 

wishing you all the best...Mary

Anonymous

FBN, I'm not sure I can offer you help here. First, I had chemo back in the dark ages of 1996, life was very different then, almost the stone ages. Second, I have a fear of IV's which has been discussed at nauseam. So, the trick for me back then was a Valium night before and morning of so I needed DH to take me. They didn't do heated blankets either, so I'd bring a throw and the primary aim for me was to fall asleep. 

But, you did clear up a question for me: had The Talk on DVR the other day when Sara Gilbert was returning from her honeymoon. They showed wedding photos. DH was curious why Ozzy didn't accompany Sharon to the wedding. I said, probably on tour or other necessary engagement. DH looked at me like I was crazy. Apparently, he was on tour. I'm not a Black Sabbath fan, but a night out is still a night away from home. Enjoy!

Footballnut

yup ozzy is on tour. Lucky me!!  Lol

Anonymous

Hey, at least DH takes you to concerts, my DH only talks about doing that!

Footballnut

lol!!

And I'll be taking my DH to see Scott weiland July 19 in toronto. That's one if my goals that I'm working towards!!

:-)

MameMe

So glad to see familiar names again, now I want to pick your brains a little.

They set me up for Taxol chemo weekly for twelve weeks. How did you all feel about getting a port? I suspect it's optional but it was part of what they talked about at my first session yesterday. I kept thinking that they had the wrong gal, what the heck would I want a damned PORT for?! Then I kinda sobered up and let a little more of this situation sink in.  With weekly 90 minute infusions, will that be easier than the half day slogs some folks get?

My left eye had been growing lazy over the last six years. I had double vision when tired, and in the last year it started to kind of pull to the left on it's own. I had that checked out when I first noticed it but they thought it was just a lazy eye. Since I never had that as a kid, it seemed a little odd, but heck. I went with it. two weeks ago I had had a pulled muscle in my neck and a head cold, felt like crap, was falling asleep when I had floaters and some weird neon bubble thing cross my field of vision, eyes closed. When I looked around the room, half the vision in left eye was shaded. It stayed that way, and I'm thinking detached retina, oh shit. I made an appointment with the guy who does my glasses, just to see what he thought. Thusday a.m. He sends me to an MD that afternoon, who says it looks like bc mets. he then sets me up for the next day at a Retina Center two hours away in Portland, ME. We get there for 9 a.m., do a three hour work up and this fellow also says bc mets. This is the part of the story when I was wishing for that detached retina in the worst way.

Sat and Sun were twilight zone days, then Monday to the oncologist, who has all the records and says we gotta find the primary tumor. Brain scan, breast MRI, biopsy of small hard mass under right ribs, Taxol day, a bone scan and a soft tissue chest, abs and pelvic scan, were all done this week. 

M aybe it's not bc, maybe it's not cancer, maybe it's s different cancer, but jeez, I hope something points the way to a useful tx plan. I'd hate to think I put all that dye and chemical crap in my body and maybe even LOSE HAIR for nothing!

I will let you know what transpires, as it unfolds. I am impressed with anyone who has taken on this level of intervention and gotten through it.  It's wicked challenging. 

Tomorrow is Friday, and if I do not crash from the Wednesday tx, my sister is taking us for lunch and a bit of outlet shopping, which I could certainly use right now! Hugs to all, Mame

lisa137

One of those TMI things for chemo that no one warned me about but I learned myself after one trip: They are constantly infusing you with stuff, that's the point, and in my case at least, one of those things was saline. When the urge to pee would hit, it would hit HARD, and while yes, you can go to the bathroom, you can't do it in a hurry, cuz you got to wiggle your way out of the comfy recliner and out from under blanket and whatever else you have on your lap, unplug your IV pole, and then wheel the thing to the bathroom while managing not to trip over it or entangle yourself hopelessly in it.... I almost didn't make it TWICE during my first treatment--if I had sneezed or coughed it would have been all over. 

After that I made sure to wear a pad--just in case--and extra ones were a packed part of my chemo bag every time. So yeah. Either wear a pad, or make sure that the very MOMENT you think about peeing you go ahead and start your trip. Easier to just wear a pad and relax about it though.

MinusTwo

Football & Lemonade - I had my port put in one day & started chemo the next.  No problems.  My son took me to the first chemo since they gave benedryl in case of an allergic reaction that 1st time only.  I drove myself to all the other nine - 30 minutes away - and most days were 7 hours of infusions.  I also took steroids for 3 days so I too ran errands on the way home.  I preferred not to have anyone there hanging around.  I didn't want to talk about "it" and I didn't want to have to entertain someone.  I read & listened to MP3 player & slept & ate & wandered around w/my IV pole talking to nurses and sometimes other patients.  Drove myself to radiation every day too, and now to the herceptin infusions for a year.  It was never a problem since the 2 weeks of "big D" every time didn't start for several days.   You can do it!!

Momine

Football, I am more than 2 years out, but I still freak myself out completely by reading my path report once in a while. Moral of the story, don't read the damned path report 

I do think coming to terms with the prognosis is far more difficult than coming to terms with initial DX. But I try to think of it as a work in progress.

Anonymous

And please remember, the "numbers" are based on statistics, not always true "facts" that will apply to YOU. No one has the crystal ball to know how treatments will affect you or what lies ahead for you. 

Based on the reports, I was told I probably wouldn't make the 5 year mark --- that was 17-1/2 years ago! My BC did not return, I got a new primary. 

I have a friend who is stage IV and she was just told she's NED (after 2 years of treatment, both chemo and rads). So, don't get your panties in a bunch and enjoy your life. Do what you can and bring some joy, love and fun into every day. Worrying will not help.

barbe1958

Football, thank God you finally cried!!! THAT is human. We don't have to be superwomen. There is a time to cry and breast cancer sure deserves a good cry every once in a while. It was appropriate; rather than bursting into tears in the grocery store if you had held it all back.

Mameme, I don't get it. What "primary" are they looking for? Didn't you already have breast cancer years ago? Mets is exactly that. Mets. Not a trickle from an existing primary, but a recurrence from one from years earlier. I do know of a couple other ladies who had eye mets, but it's very rare. So sorry you have to deal with this but it does sound like you were astute enough to know something was wrong and not wait until you were blind in that eye. Praying your vision returns to normal. I do recall that because the eye has so much blood flow it responds amazing to chemo in the blood.

Footballnut

Hi All,

CRAP - I'm crying again as I type this!!!!!!  You all help me so much!!!!  The thing that freaks me out the most is the HER2+.  I know that regardless of your diagnosis there is no way to predict the future.  Heck, nobody knows what the next minute or tomorrow will  bring!!!  So, here I am - haven't eaten breakfast yet - been at the computer researching and reading since 7am - oh yes, I did pay a few bills too!  lol

I wanted to share my entire regime with you - not to bore anyone - just to release my anxieties.  You have all been so wonderful to me and I hope to repay the kindness as I don't think that I've offered  much to anyone since joining.  I also wanted to let you all know that you may not hear from me during the time that hubby and I are away.  We go to the chemo class this afternoon, concert tonight (again - I don't know which I would rather do - chemo or Black Sabbath - lol!!), then tomorrow morning go to Montreal by train to see my Rangers play the Canadians (boo).  Then Monday, we leave by train to go to NYC to see my Rangers play the Flyers (boo)  in round 1 of the playoffs... funny thing is my favourite hockey team is the Penguins but I love NYC!!!!  The Rangers are #2!!  Then we come home a week Sunday by train.  So PLEASE DON'T WORRY about me as you may not hear from me until Monday, April 21 once we return.  My hubby wants to keep my mind off of the cancer and occupy my time with other things.

Now - for my details - most of which I've shared before (I think):

My pathology report confirms the following:

- Invasive ductal carcinoma AND Ductal Carcinoma In Situ
- 2 of 21 lymph nodes had macro metastases --> size of largest metastatic deposit: 1.9cm (that must have been the lump under my arm - I'm guessing that this means it was pretty full of cancer cells??)
- Tumor size: 2.3cm x 1.3cm x 1.1cm --> single focus of invasive carcinoma
- Grade: 3 (I know that this means aggressive which is what I thought)
Skin invasion: absent
Skeletal muscle: free of cancer

Margins for invasive cancer = Clear 4mm
Margins for DCIS = clear 7mm
This means that the primary tumour was removed

Lymph-Vascular Invasion - Present
I know that this means that the cancer may have already started to spread. While it was found in lymph nodes, it may also have started to spread to other parts of the body - hence chemo. Since the bone and CT scans were clear, hopefully it was just starting to spread (diagnosed by Dr Ang)

ER/PGR/HER2 positive

I don't see where the Oncologist sees this as looking good! He told me that I will have a long life as it is in the early stage. How? It is grade 3 (which I know is aggressive), in 2 lymph nodes (macro spread) and triple positive!!!!!! I think that he is just blowing smoke up my bum!!

So what are the positives of cancer?

- I've met a lot of people and made new friends (such as yourself) with more to come
- I will save $ on hair products!!
- I have re-connected with people, some of whom I haven't heard from in 35+ years!!
- I am learning more about myself
- This is happening at a good time of year - I won't have to deal with snow storms and the chemo treatments will be over just in time for the football season to start!!!!

Other than that, I am sacred to death! This lady that I chat with shared an article saying that treatment should start no more than 30 days after surgery to increase chances of survival. I'm bacb to thinking that I am a dead woman!! I can't believe that I have been so healthy for so many years and in a blink of an eye have become so infected!!!

Most of the women that I have chatted with who have had awesome recoveries are not triple positives, let alone HER2+. I am doomed!!!!!!

Hopefully all will work out!!

So, my schedule is as follows:
- April 22: Heart test
- April 29: 8am - insert port; bloodwork and meet with Oncologist
- April 30: Noon - Chemo round 1

Meds:
My treatment is referred to as FEC-D. It consists of 6 cycles given on a single day for 21 days.

- The first 3 cycles = Flourouracil (or Adrucil) + Epirubicin (or Pharmorubicin) + Cyclophosphamide (or Procytox). The last med includes tables as well.
- The last 3 cycles = Docetaxel (or Taxotere)

During the above cycle I will also get an injection of Neulasta.

At some point Herceptin will be introduced which will last approx 1 year.

Then I will get Tamoxefin for 5-10 years - if I live that long!!!!!

You know, I've always believed that things happen for a reason. I realize that we don't live forever however my fear is not having a good quality of life. I have always been healthy and even though I now have aches and pains I've never seen it as a big deal. At times I am strong and say BRING IT ON, then it gets closer and I fall apart.

I have come to appreciate each one of you - you continue to be my inspiration and I am hopeful that I can actually meet many if not all of you once this is over!  ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!!

elimar86861

I'm bunching all the replies into one long post:

MameMe, The last page or two had posts about our ports. Personally, if I only got 4 rounds, I might just go with arm. With more rounds, the port probably does make it easier on you. You had lump. + rads on the right and left, so shouldn't you be avoiding needle sticks to both? A nurse is able to do blood draws from the port, saving your arms even more. Also, Barbe asks a good question...If they are saying BC mets, wouldn't the primary be long gone (taken out by surgery) by now?
Also, although you took one round of chemo already not really sure of the Dx (which does seem a little strange) you must realize that anyone here who is not officially Stage IV has a right to wonder if we took the chemo "for nothing?" After surgery to get all the cancer-y parts out, most are getting chemo as an "insurance policy" or just in case some rogue cells, that no one has confirmed, are bodacious enough to decide to relocate to an organ. I questioned EVERY round of chemo I took. But I know you are talking about something a little different, so I hope you get the Dx quickly to give some rhyme and reason to your treatment.

lisa137, Don't worry about TMI here. You can air your near-dirty laundry any time. Good point about all the hydration. Now, BTW, I noticed you have painstakingly listed every chemo you ever got. Unnecessary! That just makes your tagline longer than half the posts you will ever write. Most people just write when they began chemo and I've seen some that put x8 by theirs. That's really all you need.

MinusTwo, I am going to guess that Texans living in Dallas never use "big D" to mean diarhhea. ;-)

Barbe, Thanks for downplaying the whole "superwoman" thing. Everyday, average women get BC and most are capable of finding ways to step up and deal with it. Not without tears, mind you. Most of the people who think that is "heroic" or like a "superwoman" are the ones who have not been through it. They think they could not go through something so daunting, but in reality they, just like most of us, find a way to take care of business. Cancer does challenge that inner strength, but it is there for us all to tap into.

F-nut, You might have missed something I wrote about Triple Positive before. Yes, HER2+, Grade 3 is aggressive, making it not only a good target for your chemo (which loves to attack fast growing cells) but also a good target for Herceptin. That is the upside, you have two good ways to kill that cancer. Plus, Tamox. is tried and true at subduing ER/PR+ BC. To put it in perspective, look at Triple Negative. NONE of the chemos are as effective for them. This is the bright side the MO is seeing.
Thanks for letting us know why you'll be MIA for a while. Some leave so abruptly and we always do wonder.
Also, you had a little typo up there, that you were "sacred to death." That's very bad when that happens. Look at Jesus. Please try not to get that holy. ;-)

barbe1958

Football, I was going to say what elimar said! Herceptin is a LIFESAVER for those of you who are HER2+!!!! Also, chemo ONLY works on fast growing breast cancer!!!! So, for about 40 years or so, women have been getting chemo even when it didn't do them any good!!!! Thus the oncotype testing was created to find out if their type of cancer would even respond to chemo. Also, consider this.....because I am NOT on any AI's or treatment, IF I recur, my first line of chemo will be Tamoxifen!!! That's right! Tamoxifen when/if I become stage IV. That must show you how powerful it is. I don't take anything right now, partly by choice. As my surgeon said "save the big guns for next time" and I agreed. So you can see why a number of us DO see your diagnosis and treatment as a very positive move on your teams part. Conversely, a number of patients are UNDER treated and recur too quickly, so it looks like you are being treated very well.

Go on your trip and forget all about this and us, knowing you are healthy enough to fight this with all you've got!! (Can you imagine being already sick and trying to fight this?)

As for quality of life, I don't have it at all times anyway with bone growing up my spine from arthritis so that's not a given, even without chemo. So forget aiming for QOL during chemo and just pamper yourself the best you can. That is the time to pull the cancer card and not do anything you don't want to!

elimar86861

Has anyone else noticed no toolbar when posting? I don't see others having the formatting problem I am having. Wonder if my husband did something to my computer?

Tomboy

i see it, i have a mac. i heard a couple other women say that cant see it either. doesnt mean i use it. ok, i will try and see if it works.does it work? yes it does!

sheila888

Eli..I have a Toolbar....

elimar86861

Thanks, ladies. My "IT guy" will have to take a look when he comes home from work tonight.  O.K. got it working!

lisa137

@Elimar Yes, I am well aware of how the sig lines are generally done, and in due time will shorten mine. I am, however, just done with chemo less than two weeks ago and about to start rads within a month. The thread I mostly participate in is for women who started chemo the same month I did, and most of us DO have our chemo schedules listed out, as it made it easier to remember who was getting which treatment when and would be needing a bit of extra encouragement. So it was, and for now is, appropriate for where I mostly post.

Your kind advice is appreciated, however.

Valjean

Footballnut ~ I haven't posted here much lately but have been lurking. Sending you a hug. Enjoy your time away. We will be here when you return.

Oh, yeah,

     Let's Go Red Wings!!

NativeMainer

Footballnut--deep
breaths, my dear, deep breaths.The lump
under your arm probably was the affected lymph node, they swell when irritated,
and cancer cells, like bacteria, are irritating to lymph nodes.Lymph-Vascular invasion--well, there were
some cancer cells in the lymph node, which is doing its job and stopping the
cells from getting into the general circulation.ER+/PR+, most common, responds well to
hormone therapy.Her2+, while associated
with more aggressiveness, but there is target treatment for this, the
Herceptin.The onc referring to this as
looking good in comparison to ER-/PR-, which is much harder to treat.Which is not to say that treatment will be
easy,but it is doable, and you can have
a good quality of life.So enjoy your
trips and concerts and games and keep coming here!

Anonymous

Anonymous

Eli - like the new header pic!