MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

heartnsoul76

Oh, mac!  I'm so happy I feel like climbing on the roof and screaming to the sky!

MinusTwo

Luv - I have a gold crown on a back molar from the late 1960s.  I didn't think anyone did gold any more.  All the dentists I know and all of my friends are having 'porcelain' crowns.  In fact, I'm not even sure they're really porcelain any more - probably a composite but they are white.  I love my composite crowns.  They can match the color to your surrounding teeth.  Why go to the expense of gold?  Also for gold they have to drill out so much more of the original tooth so replacements would be a problem.  I think I'm even a little older than you so the replacement questions may be moot, but I'd never go through all that drilling again w/the gold.

elimar86861

heartnsould76,  Glad you shed your dread.  That calls for a little happy dance.        Wait, let me supersize that for you.

Notbuyingit

 in the beginning of this cancer journey i said things like "when this is all behind me" & "when things get back to normal" only now that I am 3/4's in & dealing with multiple side affects & yes, the emotional upheavel - do I realize that the old "normal" will never return. I'd like things to be better than the old normal - not miraculously- but with strength & determination.

we have a lot of life left - we have endured to make it so - rock on, ladies!

macatacmv

elimar86861

Welcome, Notbuyingit!  You said:

"I'd like things to be better than the old normal - not miraculously- but with strength & determination."

I like that attitude, and some do end up in a better place after all is said and done, so why not give it a shot?  But don't think you have wound up on a thread that is a little positive donnybrook.  So if you go through frustration, anger, despair and boredom, let it be known that we are good listeners if you need to vent and it's good to have a place to get it all out.  Fill us in on what treatment you are getting and what your Dx is.

lovewins

Hello everyone....I agree it is important for me to keep it real...and that means with myself and here.  I may not allow my co-workers to know how I really feel some times but I also feel like I want and need to show that BC is not all....and I am stealing this from a fellow poster from another thread and forgive me if I can't remember who... rainbows and unicorn farts!

Good for you heartandsoul!

thank you for listening....everyone.  Hope you like my picture Elimar!

Loral

Heartnsoul......

marlegal

behind as usual so skimming, please forgive me

Lovewins, you said almost exactly how I feel. Everyone has something they're going through, or went through. For us, it was cancer. For me, I'm more than 8 yrs past tx and definitely do NOT fear cancer coming back,or coming again any more than I fear a heart attack or a fall down steps. Actually,I fear falls way  more than cancer. I have scars, I have LE, I have tats from radiation. So there are daily reminders. But I see them as part of me now. They're not really reminders, they're just there. I like who I am, I'm comfortable in my skin, I am not fearful, and I've taken more chances since 2005 than I had in the years prior. Yup, I'm ok with my new normal if it has to be called that. 

marlegal

HnS....woo hoo!!! I'm sooo happy for you my friend. Despite my post above, I too hate mammo day, which is next month for me. Celebrate YOU from today through the weekend!

Anonymous

H&S: that's the best! Now you won't have to dread the next one, will be proof you're perfectly ok! Jumping for joy, but not too high

luvmygoats

HNS - Happy dancing for you. Hope you are having a grand evening.

MinusTwo - dentist is a poopy head. But I actually survived today with no trauma. He says porcelain crowns will eventually crack till I pointed out the oldest is 12-13 and shows no sign of that. His comment was "You don't chew ice?". Well no I don't hurts all these filling too much anyway and I'm pretty careful with things like popcorn kernels etc. So no talk today of replacing but instead talk of working on the one side that doesn't have any crowns. Did I mention I hate change? I'd had my old dentist for nearly 30 years. Now the next hurdle is my optometrist retired and had him about as long. BOOHOO. He's the one bless his heart who found my glaucoma.

No Mac DL is not a BC approved abbreviation, I was just tired of writing.

Eyes drooping. Too long a day in the city. If I make an early day appt I'm bound to be late but if a make an early afternoon appt I rarely get off very early to get anything done b4. I love living out here but shopping other than to WallyWorld is the pits.

elimar86861

Lovewins,  If by like your picture, you mean...

1)  Be scarred for life by it to the point of possibly never eat a festively frosted cupcake again

or 

2)  Be going to try to work the phrase "unicorn poop" into my next snappy comeback(*)

well then, YES, you could say I like it.

(*)  Anticipating my visit to the NP next Mon., where she'll say, "Numb feet?  Most people have that go away after a year or two"  And then I'll get to say, "That's a huge load of unicorn poop because A LOT of people I know still have it!"

-----------------------------------------------

Hi, Marlegal.  So true.  We are all changing, daily, weekly, monthly, whatever; from cancer or some other something.  The so-called "new normal" of having things change, is also the "old normal" of having things change.  Or, as Heraclitus(*) was fond of saying, "Nothing is permanent except change."  Of course, he said that in Greek.  Then a few more people worked it into pop songs. 

(*) Oh please let me have the distinction of being the first to work a quote by Heraclitus into a BCO thread.  Oh let it be me!

ndgrrl

Clear Mammos are wonderful!!   I do have a complex cyst being watched which  they say is probably benign I SURE do not like the word PROBABLY!! grrrr - if they had just removed it during surgery I wouldn't be worrying about it. 

Happy Happy Dance though!!! 

Momine

How about being better in some ways and worse in others after cancer, and taking it as yet another interesting experience in life? I think that is pretty much my approach. I am missing some body parts. My mental stamina is not what it used to be. On the other hand, I am lean, mean and in better shape than I have probably ever been. I am more relaxed, more forgiving and make an effort to enjoy things.

As for the dying thing, it can still throw me for a loop once in a while. With stage 3 cancer and a T4 tumor, there is bound to be some degree of fear once in a while. At the same time, it brings calm to come to terms with the idea that you will die, as everyone will, and it helps me to focus on making the most of what time I have, be it 2 years or 40.

lovewins

It is nice when people confirm how you feel and learn how others feel coping with the situation when the are going through something simular.  Although having a MX I think would have been a lot more difficult for me.

Elimar...I sure hope I didn't scar you for life from eating heavily dyed, chemical filled cake and cupcakes.  You made me laugh out loud at work!  I think the description of Oh Unicorn poop is going to become the next popular catch phrase.

Hugs to all.

Tomboy

i am with momine, it WAS sort of interesting, and i try to cram as much enjoyment into each day as i can stand. i had some really early hits on the idea of immortality, just not being  a true thing, and sometimes i feel as if i have lived like four different lives, or complete phases of exixtance, and  have always tried to have as much fun as possible, altho i don't think i am in as good as shape as she is, yet!

heartnsoul76

Thanks for all the happy congrats, ladies!  I'm still pretty much floating on a cloud. 

So of course the dread was much worse than actually dealing with the problem.  But like you said 2TA, hopefully from now on there won't be the "architectural changes" run-around.  No more dread!

Anonymous

Thinking of all of you:

Tomboy

youch. i am a little frightened. today i get mri of breasts. it is the first one since dx. i see on here that some women have them, and then 6 mos later, regular squishing, and then 6 mos after, back to mri! i just dont want them to find ANYTHING, i don't care how small!

Anonymous

kath, if you haven't had MRI yet, will be in your pocket. Prayers that results come out squeaky clean  

lovewins

Kath....we are here for you....praying you get the all clear.

Anonymous

Anyone relate?

Notbuyingit

love the response, elimar! actually coming off a major visit to what i like to call "anger-ville" after a visit to my reconstruction surgeon & my radiation doc (oh,no wait he was out of the office so I got the other guy) lots of frustration here don't worry! tired of being sold the fairy tale & ending up with something closer to a nightmare - and also knowing, from reading sites like this, that I am coming off a lot better than a lot of you ladies.Beginning to realize the "surviving" is not from cancer but from the "cure".

diagnosed June 28 - lobular carcinoma triple positive - failed lumpectomy July 8 (margins sooo close but who wants to gamble Part1) sentinel nodes negative - mastectomy July 16 - 13 more nodes taken 8 positive! 6 rounds of chemo + herceptin ending in January (who thought about how the holidays would suck?) herceptin continues every 3 wks til September. Reconstruction/reduction February 10 -MAJOR reduction may i say - forcing me to try & reduce my stomach in plain sight now that my boob camoflage is gone - 2 weeks into radiation(remember those positive nodes?) feeling like someone is tightening the screws in my chest & armpit & the frying hasn't even begun (but hey i am the one who decided to do the reconstruction first,right?) chemo has left me with nueropathy in my feet - the 1000 bees stinging is accurate...

how's that for venting? but i DO have to believe that i WILL get my life back, because why else do we go through it? 

macatacmv

love it, 2TA

how scary is that notbuyingit, sentinel clean and then others positive, Vent away! We can take it. Can you ask your RO for some PT during rads to help with the tightness? It really helped me. Keep believing, it will get better!

elimar86861

NBI (that's you Notbuying it),  Looking back, it was actually a good thing that your lumpectomy failed.  Otherwise, you might have been stuck with those eight nasty nodes.  You certainly have been thru'  lot already.  Keep us posted on how you are doing throughout the rads.  Two words:  Gentle stretching.  You have to do it to  offset the tightness.  After four years, I still stretch frequently.  My treatment side is very flexible, but I can still tell it is a bit tighter than the untreated side and probably always will be.

macatacmv

So I tried to tell my DS about the memory joke today but I couldn't remember it!! Got it all wrong!

barbe1958

mac, I had to scroll up to see WHAT memory joke you were talking about! ehheheehheheheeeee  Good thing I told my DH while I was still sitting here!

Notbuyingit

yes that is what my surgeon said about the nodes & YES it is scary about the sentinel nodes since that is what so may doctors go by these days - it was definitely a long shot to try the lumpectomy - had to search for a doc that would even try - i had 3 large areas of lobular - two biopsies to make sure it was all cancerous - i just was NOT happy about getting the M - had a major meltdown in the hotel room the night before. I have never before in my life done so many things that felt so wrong! anybody ever feel that way?

i am continuing the stretching exercises - I have great mobility & want to keep it that way. I think some of the pain above the new "breast" is still from the expander - it was in there pretty high & was painful, the Rads are probably just aggravating the situation. I try not to be impatient - it's funny that the closer I get to being done with treatment the more impatient I am. I think maybe because I am feeling stronger & no longer in a chemo/medication stupor! 

thanks for your support!

Eph3_12

Th memory joke was great, but E your response to - was it lovewins-(there's that memory thing) had me baying out loud.  The #1 about scarred for life re: fluffy cupcakes was PRICELESS, I say.

By the way------------------------------PAGE 900!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!