MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

Dharani

you said it. Raised a son and a daughter. Thought it is our time. I am 57, he is 58. Now with this breast cancer so much ha changed. Breast cancer stage 1. Mastectomy done,treated with 4 doses of Cytoxcan and Textere. Fourth Chemo was very brutal. slept in the room 4 days straight! No energy to talk, to energy to watch tv or communicate.No hair. Looking at yourself is depressing. Will i feel normal again. Plan to work 3 more years . Will it be possible.having a target to retire at 60. Work is not a piece of cake either. i am a nurse.One thing I am believeing that the go is watching me may be my plan is registering in his request log. Or who knows he will have a better one for me. My husband some lottos! What a waiste. But we are al human and can not deny all the earthly urges. Any advice from any one out there who are brave and have done this circle?? Help me.

I tired. What to do. can not retire yet! Also am scared if things gets worse to each one of us. Kids are kids. It is not so simple.

elimar86861

Welcome, Dharani! Sounds like you made it through your active treatment. Good for you, because that part is hard. That usually is the worst of it, but it is true that some us us do have serious lingering side effects. Since you are brand new here, I would say take some time to look over the many threads. Check out the threads on mastectomy (and maybe lymphedema, just in case, because it is good to watch out for that even if it is not apparent now); also you might even want to read through the hair loss threads. Just search for them using the key words for what you are interested in. Have you started on any drug therapy yet...Tamoxifen, Arimidex, Herceptin?

I can tell you that it definitely does get better, a little at a time. You might not have any energy right now, but it does return as you heal. You have to help by eating and sleeping well. It is very possible to continue working some more years, but don't rush back until you feel the energy to do it. I think every woman here was thrown for a loop when they got their B/C diagnosis, and there is no one way to get through it, no right or wrong way. As long as you get info. and support along the way, you can make it through. We are happy to help in any way we can. Hope you feel a bit better to know you are not alone in this.

staynsane

Dharani- I did not have to suffer chemo se's, but I think a bc diagnosis is traumatic for all of us. Just know that as you navigate through this and get past each stage, it should get better. Try to stay in the moment if you can; worry about the future, while natural to do, creates negativity and fear that may not pan out to be what you actually have to deal with. In the beginning I was my own worst enemy and my mind took me to horrible places and the "what ifs" had me spinning. Then as I progressed through each stage of recovery, I discovered that bc no longer had control of my life. Once the poison that is chemo is no longer lingering in your body, you should start feeling a bit better and may find that your outlook changes. You've likely gotten through the worst of it. Be gentle and give yourself time.

NorthwindsGS

Looks like I belong here!

Diagnosed on my 45th birthday. Starting chemo this Wednesday. Gonna be fun making the Turkey for family this year,lol. Hubby and I have our youngest son here at home with us. He is 17 and very self sufficient, thank god. However we do have a 4 year old Granddaughter who spends a lot of her time with us. I hope I can keep up with her and my job, work as a CNA. So far I believe my diagnosis has brought my hubby and I closer together. We had so many plans for our future, have always had children since we have been together and were just starting to enjoy time on our own occasionally. Hope we get the chance to enjoy our independence in the future.

elimar86861

Welcome, NorthwindsGS! My youngest boy was 17 when I went through my lumpectomy + rads. I am assuming rads in in your future, once you get chemo out of the way. Prepare yourself for some fatigue but, honestly, there are quite a few here who worked thru' both chemo and rads with very little time off, so it just depends on your individual reaction, and it is not a competition. You can read accounts of others, but you will get through it in your own way, remember that!

The chemo tends to be cumulative. Since you are having just one round before Thanksgiving, there is a good possibility that you will not be feeling too bad at all on the holiday. Also, for most, the chemo kicks in within a few days of getting the dose and then it backs of slightly until you get the next round. If you usually do most of the work for Thanksgiving, take the oppty. to ask for some help this year. I'm not saying to "play the cancer card" really...o.k., yes I am! What good is cancer if you can't get out of a chore or two, right?

barsco1963

Welcome Dharani - As Eli mentioned, you might find it helpful to check out some other threads which relate to your circumstances. I hope that you find that you feel better every day and that you can carry out your work and retirement plans. But do listen to your body and give it the rest it needs.

Hi NorthwindsGS - what a crappy b-day present. Wishing you all the best as you move forward with tx. Keep those plans for the future on your "to do" list. A bc dx may change some things initially, but there is plenty of reason to believe that you and your DH will enjoy many years together.

I am glad that you both have found the "middies". Here you will find a fantastic group of women who are here for each other no matter what. We do not judge. We support and encourage, we laugh and we cry, we share and we listen. I hope you come by often.

elimar86861

I got read the riot act. Finally, after not being able to have it for over a year, I ate some popcorn. Trouble is, it was microwave popcorn. When my son heard that, he was all, "wrnh, wrnh, wrnh...give yourself some more cancer, wrnh, wrnh," because, besides all the fake-y butter stuff that has got to be bad for your health, the microwave bag has a coating that is a suspected carcinogen. That really burst my enjoyment balloon.

I don't get onto the alternative threads very much, so I can't keep track of ALL the bad stuff, but here is an article about the popcorn, so you know what I am referring to:

http://www.motherearthliving.com/natural-health/microwave-popcorn-pfoa.aspx#axzz2l7PIXc00

luvmygoats

Elimar - we had a discussion on "what's for dinner" about popcorn. It was suggested by a member to pour kernels into a Pyrex bowl, cover with a plate (writer used a microwave cover), cook on high while listening for popping to stop. Yes you read it right, no oil. Carefully remove from oven. Can repop any unpopped kernels. I bought the popcorn but have not tried it yet. Then you have the option to spray with butter spray, melt the real stuff or sprinkle on the dry stuff. Gots to be better than the microwave packaged stuff. Sounds foolproof even for me.

Do I see a different alignment in the pictures?

Welcome to Dharani and Northwinds. I don't have any answers to you chemo ? but sure am here to support you. If there is anything us Middies can do just ask away.

MinusTwo

Elimar: I haven't tried the bowl yet, but I have been popping in a paper lunch bag for years. Approx 3 to 3-1/2 minutes, but since my microwave has a "popcorn" button it's even easier. Again, no oil or seasonings before popping. "Dress" after it's finished. I use LOTS of real melted butter.

elimar86861

There's an old air popper around here too. Will have to put that back into service if I want to be "good."

luvmygoats

Elimar - good is relative. There is good and good enjoyable. I would do the air pop and dress up with whatever I wanted. Keep on doing good you little over achiever you. I remember and have made good old fashioned in the pan with oil shake shake shake popcorn. Don't know my shoulders would handle it now but maybe DH's would.

barsco1963

Mmmmmmmm - I love a good feed of microwave popcorn. I don't eat it much because I have heard of the carcinogenic contents. Also DH hates the smell of it. I am looking into buying an air popper, but will do it the old fashioned way (just like luv) till then. Brings back memories of when I was young and mom would make it on a Saturday night!

marlegal

Hub makes the old fashioned kind on the stove with Smart Balance and a little oil as the fat. Haven't had for a while now that I think of it!

macatacmv

Ha, Ha, since when have our kids starting calling the shots. My DD has me drinking coconut milk and creamer and tofuy "ice cream". No more of that dairy fat for me. We also make our popcorn the old way. Heavy pan and a little olive oil, not much shaking, then dressed with the shaker stuff (she likes cheddar cheese, me butter burst) But I have to remind her it was me that made her eat her vegetables, and I do know how to eat, I know that they know everything now, because we taught them it all!!!!!!! But couldn't they have a better attitude?

hello newbies, hang in there, it does get better! But it is a big adjustment and life rearranger!

Anonymous

welcome to the newbies! Lately, I've been doing the pop corn in a large Pyrex measuring cup with a plate and it works really well. I have an air popper but am planning to get rid of it next time I drop off my contributions to the local homeless shelter. I'll admit, the oil-popped is much better, so I lightly spray olive oil on (from a mister) with finely grated parm. Delish!

I'm trying to go back several pages and read to catch up, I'm not getting very far

Momine

Stop talking pop corn already Some of us are trying to stay relatively low-carb.

Anonymous

sorry... Tail tucked between my legs, slinking off....

Anonymous

Elimar, how often do you change the thread headings? What am I looking at, please?

Momine

2nd time, just kidding, although I am serious about the low-carb thing. It is working too, I have to say. My fasting sugar is down about 15 points.

elimar86861

2TA, I change them as often and as capriciously as I like. Sometimes they have a story, sometimes me just likey the colors. The latest is just some guy's art, I forgot his name already. It's for those who like their ink blot tests in more than plain old black and white. It vaguely reminded me of boobs, and the yellow definitely has a nipple-y look. Now don't try to analyze me, based on that interpretation.

Just remember the guy who went to his psych. appt. naked, wrapped only in Saran Wrap. "Clearly," remarked the analyst, "I can see your nuts."

macatacmv

Lol, Eli!

Ok no more popcorn talk. I'm at the hair stylist b/c my DS said he got a great pic of my bald spot when he took a pic from behind of me looking at the statue of liberty in NYC. Out of the mouth of babes. So I am seeing what can be done. It is completely white now and I refuse to be that old. But when the roots grow out......

Hopefully I will not offend anyone dealing with hair loss. 

Eph3_12

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Eph3_12

The hahas are for E's joke, not your hair loss maca

Anonymous

haven't laughed this hard in a long time, thanks so much Elimar! Funny visual. Glad I'm reading it now, if DH were here, he'd be yelling at my laughter. I see what you mean about the header pic, didn't get it at first.

Macatacmv, I'm there with you! Got my hair cut really short a couple weeks ago as I was tired of looking at how thin it's gotten (it's already baby fine). Hurts to look at the back of my head..

elimar86861

Speaking of nuts...

http://news.yahoo.com/eating-nuts-tied-lower-risk-death-221348223.html

That's a green light to get a little squirrely I'd say.

Meece

Eli~, if those are boobs, there are four women in extremely close proximity and it looks like all four are smiling!

marlegal

if you happen to be among those who loved those books where you can see things in other things...I forget the name...try it with Eli's page topper...it gets three dimensional!

Hub and I love the good nuts...several bags in the kitchen. We usually include them as snacks when packing our lunch, or with a cold beer on weekends. Gotta say, they taste better with a beer!

GrammyR

Mormine- those are lovely shoes. I can no longer wear any healed shoes at all but I always thought he " hooker shoes " were the ones that have these huge platforms that elevate a tiny person several inches taller. I am 5' 6" so never walked very well in anything over a 2 inch heel.

Momine

Grammy, I refer to anything that is a bit over the top as "hooker shoes." I do not normally wear heels, but for special occasions I sometimes put up with the pain.

Meece

I'm 5'8" and have always loved wearing high heels. When I dated a guy 5'10" I stopped, but now I can pretty much wear my highest heels and not tower over DH. In fact I am wearing stripper shoes in my avatar, can you tell?