MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

Valjean

H&S >>> please be sure to let us know when the looksie is, okay?

 

barsco1963

H&S - I am one that likes to know for sure what is going on. Although it causes some initial anxiety, I always feel better about getting the test done. Let us know when you are scheduled and so we can jump in and be there with you.

elimar86861

HnS, I guess you have to have it checked out, but I would suspect that it is something common and benign taking place. Do you know if you are a teeth-grinder? Have you had dental work that could have altered your bite and irritated your TMJ? Possibly something stress related? Try not too feel too anxious about this. It is a shame that, now that we are in the B/C club, every minor ache and pain requires further investigation, but that is the "new normal" for us. Let us know when you get scheduled. I like those noisy MRI's and I'll tag along.

More than ever, I can appreciate "scanxiety" now. As I move from my active treatment for CRC into the period of interval scanning, I am really terrified that (after all I have been through) some nasty little cells might have decided to stick around and take up residence in my liver. To calm myself down, I have to remind myself that I take a bigger risk each day when I get behind the wheel of my car (and I am a good driver!)

I have to check something out...I am thinking that in the case of B/C, the most likely spots for mets are bones, liver, lungs and brain, in that order. Want to see if I can find a percentage breakdown on that. BRB.

elimar86861

O.K., that took a little more digging than I thought. I found a medical abstract from earlier this year that broke it down...

The 4 most common anatomic sites of distant metastases as the first exclusive event were bone (41.1%), lung (22.4%), liver (7.3%), and brain (7.3%)

Want the link? Here you go: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23218473

Guess I was wrong about the liver being the second most likely site.

Another interesting, tho' longer, article about B/C mets was this one, if you feel like reading more: http://www.nature.com/nrc/journal/v5/n8/full/nrc1670.html#f1

It had the following chart of places mets were found in autopsied people (so it is an accounting of either one or multiple places the mets were found:)

elimar86861

I have an inquiring mind that likes to know these things (even if it won't help me with the questions on Jeopardy!)

Momine

Eli, thanks for all that. I had seen before that lobular, "my" cancer, likes the ovaries, which might explain why my surgeon was VERY supportive of yanking mine.

Anonymous

interesting chart Eli, thanks!

Well I scheduled the pancreas surgery for Dec 3rd.....then I had my 3 mo check with my MO who seemed very upset that I opted for the surgery by my 2nd opinion doc....her words,

"If you are going to have the surgery, do it right"....well THAT messed with my head! She shook her head when I explained my decision was to 1. Reduce the time in the hospital and in recovery by opting for a laproscopic type surgery and 2. To save my gallbladder for the time being. She seemed to really think I'm making a mistake by not having the first surgeon (who she says is one of only a few surgeons who specialize in this.....and laproscopic is not the way to go for the pancreas, being a "deep" surgical procedure. So now I'm really confused. She backed off from saying there was anything wrong with the second surgeon when I pressed her as to why his suggested surgery wouldn't be "right". .....just thought the first guy would do the best job....then said "well you made your decision", "good luck"

I went from feeling good that I had made a decision and had a surgery date.....to questioning if I was making the right choice. I came home in tears and my DH thought my BC was an issue. No....just tired of making slice and dice decisions and then second guessing. I made another appt with the first surgeon to ask some of the questions the 2nd opinion brought up... Oct 30th I will hopefully know whether to keep my surgery date or cancel it and get a new one. So tired!

elimar86861

chachamom, So hard to make an informed decision, when the information you get can be so different. I would have been in tears (of frustration) too. All I know is that laparascopic surgeries help limit blood loss, make smaller openings which reduce instances of infection, and give a quicker healing time. What is the supposed downside? Did your MO mention what that was? Or what the big up-side was to have an open surgery? Just because something is "deep" doesn't really rule out laparascopic, I don't think. The robot went pretty deep on me. Uteruses aren't exactly on the surface either and those get laparascopic all the time. Maybe I don't understand how she is using the word "deep." Who knows what her agenda is. Look, if laparascopic was not a reasonable choice, would they even offer it to you? All surgeon's have their way they like to approach a surgery, usually with the same technique they have used time and time again. If your second opinion surgeon has done many of them (find out) and has a good reputation, then go for it. Face it, we can't give ourselves surgery, so it always comes down to trusting somebody else not to eff it up.

elimar86861

Quick tale from the hospital: They give you those plastic toilet thingys to collect your urine in, to measure output, but then the aides will let them go for hours without coming by to measure and empty them. Well, on the first night, when I was on my IV hydration bag, I had to use the bathroom about every hour on the hour, so by 3 a.m. mine had no more room so I just grabbed a styrofoam cup and used that. The next morning, the aide seemed a little surprised by my improvisation. Whatever. I can tell you that they checked more often after that.

elimar86861

I hope I never have to go to a hospital when I am TRULY SICK. I could not handle it.

marlegal

HnS, hugs and more.

Chacha, that just plain sucks. Hope your visit with doc helps clear things up. Agree with Eli's points above.

Eli, the styrofoam cup story might top the risk bracelet story!

marlegal

hmmm...24 hours no other posts? Me thinks our page may be experiencing problems

Eph3_12

I'm here.

jcolford

Me too!

luvmygoats

I'm here.

Went to PCP for R shoulder pain yest. He punted to ortho which I have appt with on Monday. Recept. wanted to know if I'd had an MRI. Gosh, sounds like more fun is in store for me. My insurance has not balked at anything - so far.

Elimar - I think I was remiss in not welcoming you back home, you quick healer you.

Chachamom - Hope you get the answers from surgeon for your peace of mind.

heartnsoul76

Thanks for all the encouragement, ladies, and you are all exactly right. The last couple of days I think I've worn myself out physically just from stress. Scanxiety is a real thing that unfortunately we need to learn to live with, and I obviously need to work on that. I know your attitude is the right one for me, barsco, because I worry, worry, worry and then as soon as it's over I'm all, "I'm glad I did that." Yes, I even annoy myself. :P

Elimar, thanks for those links about metastatic BC. I'll look for something important like this and get distracted along the way and end up nowhere. I've added them to my Evernote notebook about BC stuff. My son, like most young people today, likes storing everything in "the cloud". I've never liked it - being old-fashioned I just feel like one day something's going to happen and everyone's precious stuff will be lost. I sure as heck am not putting my old photographs in there!

For example, just today Disney has removed at least three of their top movies from the iTunes & Amazon video store. People who bought them spent as much as they would have on the DVD, but now they have nothing. So far, no comment from Apple or Disney but deep in the licensing agreement language they have "reserved the right" to remove them at any time. This is one of them:

Chachamom - First of all, I hate that you're having to do this whole thing and second, that they're making it so confusing. I hope you can get it all sorted out soon and not have to think about it any more.

luv - the fun never stops, does it? Hope that can get squared away soon, too!

heartnsoul76

Okay, this is a terrible Halloween costume, but still kind of funny. Might be good to have handy year-round:

Anonymous

thanks ladies for the support! LOL, Eli re the pee patrol! I'm definitely with you on wanting to stay away from the hospital as much as possible!

Anonymous

have to share something positive: my DS....incredible, loving and talented, wrote this song after my initial BC diagnosis. One of his band members also had a mother fighting BC at the time. She has since passed. :-(

The band is promoting this song to honor all BC survivors and memorialize those who have gone. Check it out, it's a free download, and if you buy a shirt, all proceeds go to fight cancer. I'm a proud momma!

From my incredible and talented son, Robyn

"Last year I wrote a song for my mother a week after I found out that she had breast cancer. Download the song "Out Of Body" for free in honor of breast cancer awareness month and all of the women we have lost and for the ones still fighting. "

ABSOLUTExclusive: Rival Tides Stream / Song Download

absolutepunk.net

Check out this news article, 'ABSOLUTExclusive: Rival Tides Stream / Song Download,' on AbsolutePunk.net.

Anonymous

http://absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=3496211

I don't know how to link the article....but if it doesn't work, cut and paste the http address

elimar86861

chach, Loved it! I got choked up with tears for some of those lyrics (i.e "I want to fix you, I want to take it away," and "Whoever thought that two words could leave me uncapable" and "I think I'm just lost.") OMG, I can just hear the impact your Dx had on him, and his love and caring for you. (I have two musical sons yet, four years later, still have no song. Imagine my envy.)

HnS, That's one way to silence those little lambs. (Using non-existent laughing smiley here.)

Mar, I had looked in once yesterday, before you posted, but since there was no activity, I just wandered off. We do have slow days sometimes.

elimar86861

Two-fold tale from the hospital: In the middle of the first night, the nurse came with a capsule and said it was my last post-surgery antibiotic. Since I was only allowed ice chips at that point, I dryly (pun intended) said, "Let me guess, this is going to go down hard with only ice chips!" Well, she came with a bit of water (oh, how they can break their rules!) and I took that. Then less than two hours later, I'm awakened a second time for an IV injectable antibiotic shot. I'm, like, "Whaaa? You just gave me my last antibiotic two hours ago in pill form." She asked to scan my bracelet and I did that, then she said, "Since I scanned you, let me give you this, then I will check what the pill was for." "Oh, no," says I, "I don't care what you scanned. You find out what you gave me first, and then we'll see if I want this injection of not." We got into a little tiff then, and she called me rude (which I wasn't) and I informed her that form my perspective she was the rude one. She tried to control me with the use of the word, "hon."(*) Little did she know that only fans the flames. Well, she went off without injecting, and came back to tell me she had made an error. The pill had been Entereg, something to "wake up" the bowels, the shot was the final antibiotic dose. Luckily, there was no mistake in me having them both, but just misinformation on her part. She apologized; and I pointed out that she should have just checked it without all the argument and that it was a situation she could learn from, and that if she failed to learn from mistakes she would continue to make them until she hurt somebody! (I AM pretty ruthless when they don't let me sleep!!!)

(*) O.K., how many of you Middies have been "hon"-ed by a 20-something? Did it sit well with you? Because I cannot recall one instance of this happening where passive-aggressiveness was not involved. When I told my nurse not to "hon" me, I explained that a) she did not know me; b) I was not dear to her; and c) it came across as extremely patronizing. (Yes, I did use alphabetical itemization. Heehee.) I told her that I was "Mrs. ------" and that my first name was "--------" and that she could have her choice of either of those when addressing me, but "hon" was not one of the choices.

After we had this middle of the night skirmish, my nurse was attentive and courteous the whole rest of her shift. Even my roommate noticed the change.

I don't go into these places intending to be the patient from Hell, and I don't even like being pushed into it, but I would have to be a lot sicker to just let healthcare personnel have their crazy ways with me.

staynsane

Eli, I'd say "you go girl!" but you already went! THANK YOU for being one to confront your caregiver head on. I too have been offended by "hon," although I try to evaluate how it was said first. Many in the South use it in every situation and when that happens, it is not offensive to me. But I always notice when a younger person uses it with me and if it seems patronizing, I am left with negative thoughts. Not the "get out the box cutter" kind that you have expressed in the past, but negative nonetheless. I need to be more forthright in telling such youngins what I would like to be called. Just another example of you doing a great job of advocating for yourself!

Too many in the medical profession are given more respect than they deserve! Not to take away from the hard-working, (over-worked) nurses out there that sometimes slip up because they have too much on their plate. Except for medication. They should never slip up with that.

elimar86861

Although I often point out dissatisfaction on this thread, please don't think I am a total crank. I have to say that the nice and respectful treatment does not get lost on me. Bright and early this past Mon. the hospital phoned me to ask how I was and if I wanted to recognize any of the staff, by name, for exceptional service. I did give a few names (but unfortunately could not remember more than a couple.) I had one aide on two days and she was very nice about searching the broom closets to find that device from antiquity known as the manual BP cuff. Usually when I ask for that (because the machine one fails to read me time and time again) I get the old eye-roll because they don't like to hunt one down. She remembered each time she came by, so I never had to mention it again to her. It was like (4 a.m.,) "Wake up, Ms. Manual Cuff, it's that time again." I like when someone sees me as an individual and I was happy to give her name.

elimar86861

On another positive note, I really like my surgeon. He finally got his hug for (probably) saving my life.

Put it this way, IF my life IS saved, then I KNOW the surgeon made a difference. I suspect the radiation oncologist contributed something to my survival too. He'll have to wait some years for his hug, so I can see what the long term collateral damage is going to be. Not really sure about the medical oncologist segment of treatment but, if my foot numbness resolves, I could be charitable enough to give him the benefit of the doubt and maybe a handshake, but no hug.

Anonymous

your stories always tickle me Eli! I HATE, HATE, HATE the "hon" and also "sweetie" used by anyone who does not know me......from waitresses to nurses.....it's all condescending. I've never had the guts to confront anyone on it but I think I will next time using your three point argument. BTW: I don't think you're cranky....you're courageous; you're not rude, you're intelligent and strong. You go girl!

luvmygoats

I got the MA from hell at PCP's office. The one who T'd me off last year so much 3 days b4 my surgery. This was Friday and needed results of cardiac stress test for surg. on Tuesday. She could not get it thru pea brain that NO Monday was not OK to get the results as things would already be rolling - like DH off, dog to vet, my work on board. So I get her at office on Wed. She's going thru her EMR and I said oh BTW you can mark I had a flu shot. Went to the drive thru senior citizens shot clinic. "You're not a senior citizen". Tech. not I'm 61 but I did not want to drive 45 min each way to FW to get one and really did not expect to go to PCP again this year. I only realized after she left the room that they were one and the same. I'd rather be called hon than get this dingbat again. For once I think employee retention is for the birds. I usually respect an office where the staff does not change.

Elimar - all employees get reminders not to call people by hon, dear. But coming from the south it is OH so common. You are supposed to ask pt what they prefer or defer to the Mrs. _____. I guarantee the yellow fall bracelet came up on nurse's EMR with a gigantic reminder. Gosh we had to do the full tx - yellow blanket and yellow socklets. BUT - on another note you probably got the ones you mentioned personally a bit of a raise. It was on our performance reviews if we got a personal recommendation. NOT so much happening since I was on a palliative care unit.

I'd hate to think nurse was giving you something she did not know what it was. We had to cart bedside WOWs (workstations on wheels) into the rooms to chart meds. Older units had them mounted on the wall. And this was b4 the scanning of the arm bracelet matched pt and med.

elimar86861

You have to walk in there with your head held high, luv. Never let them smell your fear (or frustration, or --insert appropriate emotion here--) Remember, you did nothing wrong. As far as you rounding up your age...well, I realize not everyone is cool enough to have an "ish" policy on age BUT if that MA's mom had to drive to FW to get that measly shot, I guarantee you she would not have a problem with using the nearbly drive-thru. Let's keep it real.

By the way, what is your take on using the manual BP cuff? The younger the nurse, the more they look at me like I just went medieval and asked for some leeches.

Eph3_12

I only get manual cuffs because of my "largish" arm. Fine by me. I hate those auto ones, makes my eyes & tongues stick out.

Oh the "hon" & "sweetie" are MAJOR pet peeves with me. I get it all the time. My usual response is "No I'm not!"

Eph3_12

I didn't mean to imply that I have more than one tongue by the way, but this time of year it would be appropriate.