MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

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  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited June 2013

    jlbloom,  My MO was similar in that he didn't recommend a therapy unless it could give about a 5% benefit.  The HT gives you an added 4%.  Your call.  My feeling is that with a high ER/PR+ percentage, it would be worth it to try out Tamox. or an AI, just for some added protection.  If you try it and the S/Es are minimal, than you have not sacrificed much.  If it really interferes with your QOL to the point you can't stand it, you come off at that time.  I guess I am all about trying it rather than a straight yes or no in advance.  I do believe you are making use of all the info. and will choose best for yourself.

  • heartnsoul76
    heartnsoul76 Member Posts: 1,648
    edited June 2013

    Native - your answer about UTI/kidney infections is one I need to copy & paste. I seem to be contantly teetering on the edge of getting a UTI or something

    Diana - how is the pain doing now? Hope it's getting better on its own so you don't even have to mess with the doctor tomorrow.

    Elimar - I hope you are feeling better today, too! Is your next chemo a week away? The main thing is to stay ahead of the chemo, i.e., you feel fine before your next infusion.

    jlbloom - good job staying so informed about your choices! I did do chemo and had no positive nodes. It was the Grade 3 that tipped my onc into favoring chemo for me. We are all so different as are our cancers so we kind of have to blaze our own trail, I think.

    I can't see the picture up there. Is it different than the one of us in our pj's awaiting trial? 

    Just watching this new cat I seem to have acquired sitting outside my french doors. He's trying to stay cool so I opened the screened porch for him and turned on the fan. I don't think he can come inside because the one time I let him get near my big old baby cat, Mac, he attacked him and freaked him out. I still want to give him a chance to come inside but no one else agrees with me. I must admit it's kind of nice to have an outdoor cat around here because we have TONS of snakes and mice/rats live in the woods so at least he can keep down those populations. He loves to be outside - he runs and climbs trees and chases sticks like a dog so I guess he's alright.

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited June 2013

    Darn!  I had nice mermaid picture up there (with a flipping tail!) but it disappeared twice now.  I'll use another pretty one.

  • Dianarose
    Dianarose Member Posts: 2,407
    edited June 2013

    lower back is in a lot of pain. Still hurts to pee. I have never had a kidney stone, but I remember my dad getting them and he would be in bed for days and it took a lot to keep him down. I will be calling my primary doc tomorrow. Once I turned 50 everything turned to shit.

    Elimar-I don't take antibiotics unless I have to. They give me other issues. I hope you are feeling well enough to enjoy some of the summer weather.

    JLBloom- they did my onco when they only new of 4 positive nodes. It came back as a 6 with a recurrence of an 8. I guess they were right about how effective the chemo was going to be.

    Power keeps going out. We have just had a bad batch of powerfull thunder storms.

    heartnsoul- I miss having a cat, but I hate litter boxes and where I live they drive too fast by the house to have an out door cat. Have you given this new cat a name?

  • luvmygoats
    luvmygoats Member Posts: 2,942
    edited June 2013

    Eli - nothing wrong with the mermaid up there now. She looks cool as a cucumber but what is that thing on her left shoulder? Do we need another alien extraction?

  • heartnsoul76
    heartnsoul76 Member Posts: 1,648
    edited June 2013

    Diana - I hate to hear that your back is still hurting and hate that you've had to wait so long to get it looked at properly. Hopefully, they will take care of it tomorrow! Yeah, why does it seem everything goes downhill after 50? I don't think I was properly forewarned about that...

    Funny you should ask about the cat's name. No, I don't have a name for him and I can't think of one! I feel guilty that we still call him "baby", haha!

    Any suggestions for a name for a male cat? He's a cute, affectionate (to people) orange and white big cat.

    Eli - I can see that mermaid now. My first thought was, "I always wanted to be a mermaid". Either that or Samantha on "Bewitched".

  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited June 2013

    Jlbloom--I agree with your doc.  The 1-2% improvement in recurrence is probably not worth the risk of permanent damage from chemo.  The risk of permanent damage is much higher than the potential benefit.  Unless you would feel better having the chemo, in which case you should consider doing chemo anyway.  Treatment decisions are not totally a numbers game, much of it is emotional. Good luck with getting the DIEP scheduled, the recover can be rocky for a few weeks, but the end result is SO worth it! 

    Heartnsoul76--feel free to copy, paste, post and share! 

    Dianarose--in the ER did they do a urinalysis or did they just do the test where they dip the stick in the pee and look at the colors?  The second is a good screen tool but can be inaccurate.  Let us know what your primary says, ok?

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited June 2013

    Can't stress enough that our cancer treatment always has the choice component.  A patient should never feel like they have been painted into a corner and that they have to do some particular thing.  The doctors, who are eduated about the disease(*), and their assessments do carry a lot of weight as far as us making the choices, but ultimately we decide what we are willing to go through. 

    Example:  Two weeks ago, I asked about leaving out the platinum drug for one round, to have a partial break from my chemo.  The doctor swayed me to not take a break, so I played it his way.  This week, I am insisting on a two week break from the platinum drug.  I'll still take the 5-FU and that is bad enough, but MY BODY FEELS like I need a lighter load this round.  I feel I might get back a little strength, enough to face the second half of this god-awful treatment.  No one inhabits my body but me, and I'm listening closely to it.

    Running off to chemo now...

    (*)  Please mark this day on your calendar as the day I gave the doctors actual credit for all they know and do.  We can't know when we'll see this benevolence again.

  • Beatmon
    Beatmon Member Posts: 1,562
    edited June 2013

    Dianarose: many times they cath you in surgery, which could have lead to problems you are having now. Beatmon

  • Sherryc
    Sherryc Member Posts: 5,938
    edited June 2013

    jbloom I scored a 23 and did not do chemo.  But I also had no nodes involved.  I hate being in that grey area.  With tamoxifen my recurrence rate is 14%.  The reason I scored so high is that I am barely ER+ but positive all the same so best treatment is tamoxifen for me and my MO decided to go with the Zometa study and put me on that because of being premenopausal

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2013

    Ha ha Eli! The avatar IS really confusing. It's the web photo of the a rails and Ales ....a hand holding one of the micro brews. Can't change it til I get home when I have computer...doesn't work off the Ipad

    We had a great time....but Colorado is having fires everywhere...so sad to see homes and businesses destroyed, and they still don't have much containment. Pray for the firemen and people of Colorado affected!



    Wishing you all good days! (And good care!.....jeez Dianarose......you've had your share of incompetence! Eli gives wise counsel )

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2013

    Love the mermaid!

  • Dianarose
    Dianarose Member Posts: 2,407
    edited June 2013

    My primary called me before I had a chance to call her. Can't get away with anything in a small town. Kidney stones seem to be what is ailing me. No infection, but traces of blood in the urine. I had to grit my teeth when I went pee this morning. No pain the last 2 times, so maybe I passed it. I have a strainer to pee through for a couple of days incase there are anymore, plus an antibiotic. Now that will bring on the yeast infection. I read that chemo can cause kidney stones. No one ever mentioned that when I signed up for their cocktails.

    Eli- I am glad you insisted on a break. You can only take so much.

    Native Mainer- did you get those powerful storms last night? One heck of a lightning show here.

    Still waiting to hear from Boston. It's always hurry up and wait. Well, it gives me more time to stay in denial.

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited June 2013

                                                         

    Ice cold lemonade, Hagen Dazs carmel cone ice cream, chilled watermelon, iced tea, Frozen Coke, Pineapple Whip, iced coffee, Orange Julius (any flavor,) Edy's pomegranate fruit bars, plain old ice water,...these are what I will be having because I took a break from my cold-sensitivity inducing chemo.  And that's just today's list. 

    "Give me your cool, your cold, your frozen masses yearning to be freely enjoyed by me!  The chilly excess of convenience stores.  Send these, the heatless, ice-tossed to me, I lift my cup beside the 'frigerator door!"

    Name THAT tune!  I like to call it "The New Colostus," as you might notice a minor similarity to some 'nother 130 year old sonnet.

  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited June 2013

    Yippee ki yi yay!  Enjoy the coldness of life E!

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited June 2013

    Oh, Goatsy, if you look closely you will see that is just a bony mermaid shoulder in the shadows.  Trust me, I know a bony shoulder when I see one.

    Signed,

    A bony Cancer Supermodel

  • cricketsandfrogs
    cricketsandfrogs Member Posts: 17
    edited June 2013

    Very distressed, anxious, scared.....I met my MO for the first time today. My prognosis is good. HOWEVER - He told me that I will burn badly from the rads, probably get diabetes soon, probably had trouble getting pregnant, and he questioned the medications that my much beloved and trusted PCP for 22 years has been prescribing for me.

    And - in front of my beautiful, 16-year daughter, mentioned that we might want to do genetics counseling. Now, I can handle all of this junk. The thought of my daughter getting bc and going through all of this reduces me to tears.

    And Eli - That is what is on the Statue of Liberty.

  • luvmygoats
    luvmygoats Member Posts: 2,942
    edited June 2013

    Cricketsandfrogs = I'm so sorry the MO visit was such a stressful visit. Maybe the first thing I need to do is give you and your daughter a ((((BIG HUG)))). The second thing I need to do is to say what a jerk he is. Third be sure there ARE other MOs out there and you wouldn't need much in my book to go find another one. Don't believe MO about rads. He does not know. Not even ROs get it right all the time. What did he base "bad burn" on?

    Again about getting diabetes soon, what did he use for criteria?

    If you love/trust your PCP, go with your gut. He after all has been treating you for 22 years.

    I think I would let him have it with both barrels about dicussing genetics in front of your daughter. There is plenty of time to have done that at an appt. when she was not there. It is certainly not an emergent situation needing action today!!! I know it is upsetting to think about her getting this crappy (and wanted to use stronger term) disease but he probably has a point about getting genetics counseling. Can't really address that without prying into your family history which you undoubtedly discussed with him so he has some basis to go on. I only quibble with his method of addressing it. He may have a very valid reason for telling you that. And what the heck business is it of his if you DID have trouble getting pregnant? So did I but don't think it ever came up with my MO, at least he didn't ever ask. I think I did volunteer in the talk about what hormones, etc., I've taken in the past since I had to take 2 rounds of Clomid to get pregnant.

    I hope since you've gotten home you've kicked your shoes off, had some cooling iced tea (or wine or Ativan or whole botle of wine).  Native Mainer I hope gets on here later. I'm an RN but less current on many things that she is. I (and forgive me to being blunt) think you could do better than this clown. I'm speaking somewhat from my own situation. I turned down a MO that I thought was too far away since I was working when diagnosed. Turns out she is now in the same office (like sharing the same space) as my current MO. I think too awkward to change and though mine has the personality of a turnip he seems OK on his practice. But from hindsight I wish I had chosen the other. This is the time to change if you feel he's not the one for you. And if you don't go back I would call and tell them exactly why you're not. No great hope it will change MO's bedside manner but I would do it just for the satisfaction. OHH, I only go to my MO every 6 months so now would be willing to drive even further if that sways you any in your decision. A close by PCP is one thing, a MO not so much.

    Here's to a better evening than day. My crystal ball says things though cloudy now will become clearer. It sounds like a cliche to say that we've all been there because we haven't been in your situation with your family and your needs. But it will get better.  Sorry for the discourse.

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited June 2013

    (Re: crickets...)  Right on, luvmygoats!

    And crickets, since your MO was getting into the fortune telling, did he suggest any Pick-3 numbers?  Sheesh!

  • luvmygoats
    luvmygoats Member Posts: 2,942
    edited June 2013

    Eli - enjoy all your cold drinks, ice cubie things, milkshakes.

    Yes, I could use some Pick-3 numbers myself. You won't believe what the Texas lottery did. They had a new game I had not played. Allow myself a couple of quick picks on big drawings and a rare scratch off ticket. Anyway this new game had TOO MANY winners so they d'cd it. Can you believe that? Wish now I had played.

    Yes, when I went way big on mermaid I see it is a shadowy shoulder. Hope you look as cute as she does in your aqua and gold combo!

  • Dianarose
    Dianarose Member Posts: 2,407
    edited June 2013

    my re-stored faith in my doctors was short lived. I picked up my prescription and decided to read the paper that comes with it. The anti-biotic she prescribed is a quinalone which I am deathly allergic to. It is in all my files. Do they ever really read the papers they make us fill out over and over. I am so glad I didn't take one before reading. I really don't want to go to the doctors anymore. I am starting to fear them even more than before.

    Eli- I thought the mermaid had lost a shoulder pad. Remember when that was the style?? I remember cutting them out of my clothes.

  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited June 2013

    Eli - here's an assortment of nice cool summer drinks for you to enjoy. I had a great time making them and would gladly make you more once you finish these off. Enjoy!

  • luvmygoats
    luvmygoats Member Posts: 2,942
    edited June 2013

    Gosh Dianarose - so sorry for the kidney stone and docs/pharmacists that cannot read/comprehend. How's the pain doing now? I hope you are keeping well hydrated to flush the stone/stones out. Ask pharmacist (when you find one that can read) about prophylactic probiotics - as to timing around antibiotics. Don't know if added ones in your gut will help yeast infection down there but worth a try. NativeMainer might know more. Not endorsing this method since not familiar with it but googling did say you can use live cultured plain yogurt down there. I wondered if you couldn't. Someone into natural methods of treatment could probably address this.

    Hopefully you will get your antib. situation sorted out soon. Maybe just tincture of time is the best thing esp. if your pain has resolved.

  • luvmygoats
    luvmygoats Member Posts: 2,942
    edited June 2013

    Barcso - wow, aren't you the good little bartender? Umbrella drinks for everyone. Thanks and thanks on Eli's behalf.

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited June 2013

    The answer to that is NO, D-rose, if you want them to actually read your chart, that will cost extra.  Let me know if they rebate you for doing the background check on yourself...I know I never get the kickbacks I deserve!

    One more thing, I'm sure no one here thinks I would be frivolous enough to request a break just so I could enjoy some cold treats. No, it was more.  The chemo was building on me to the point of several days of visual disturbances, calf pain/pre-cramping that made it painful and possibly dangerous to go down a flight of stairs, bottom of feet sore to walk on, and the weight loss, of course.  All in all, this was getting a bit much for me.  Finally, my WBC has been low for weeks, and lymphocytes too, but this week, the granulocytes took a plunge as well, so the MO might have been more amenable to my taking a break, and not just crumbling under my strong will.  I'd still like to think it was my strong will.  Just because.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2013

    Hi Cricketsandfrogs.  Sorry that you had such a difficult experience with your MO.  There are other MO's, and you really do need to trust this person with your life, so if you need to get a second opinion, or  a third in order to find someone you are really comfortable with, then it is money well spent. 

    Given all the things he was spouting about difficulty getting pregnant, and being at risk for diabetes, did he by any chance mention polycystic ovary disease?http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/polycystic-ovary-syndrome/DS00423

    If he thinks you have that, he might not be a total jerk, since it could play into the treatment choices you and he make, but it sounds like he could use a refresher course in how to interact with patients. 

    It is a very delicate balancing act helping a teenage daughter feel included and that you are not hiding any bad prognosis from her, and not having some doctor scare her out of her wits.  Hopefully if will get easier as she sees you doing well.  It did for my daughter.

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited June 2013

    Yum, yum, barsco!  I will drink them, virtual booze and all.  In real life, I would drink them all virgin.  See how nice I am to my liver?  (It's working day and night for me as it is right now, sweet little liver.)

  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited June 2013

    crickets - good to hear that your prognosis is good - hooray. However, two thumbs down for the MO who seems to think that he knows all and needs to tell all. Apparently no filter there.

    Dianarose - WTF is going on with the medical profession? Thank goodness you checked things out before you took any of the antibiotics. I hope that you have or are planning to call the doctor and remind her that you have a file for a reason. Good grief!

    Got a great phone call today after arriving home - I am the lucky recipient of a mini spa treatment and facial for myself and 3 of my friends! I hardly ever win anything! Made what started out as a sad day become a bit more pleasant.

  • cricketsandfrogs
    cricketsandfrogs Member Posts: 17
    edited June 2013

    Hi PatMom - My MO didn't mention polycystic ovary disease. I clicked on the link (thank you!) and it didn't really seem to fit. I always assumed that it took me a couple of years to get pregnant because I was in my late 30's when we first started trying!

    I have calmed down quite a bit. My DH was also there with me. His take on it is that the MO really knows his stuff, but has some "social quirks". I know this MO has gotten a lot of people I know through this cancer junk.

    I guess I had a pretty thin skin today and it all really hit me wrong. I am playing with the dogs and enjoying our northwoods evening and breathing in all the wonderful smells.

    Elimar - I am joining you in being nice to my liver with a HUGE glass of ice water!

  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited June 2013

    Eli - of course none of us would think you would take a chemo break just because you wanted to actually be able to tolerate and enjoy something that you put in your mouth. But since all indicators and SEs are leaning toward needing a rest, then of course you should take advantage and partake in a few tasty treats. Perhaps you will even be able to find some of those lost pounds. It worries me that you are fading away. What does the doctor say about the weight loss?

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