MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

Momine

Diana, ok, that sounds annoying. I know that in my case, there was some genuine ambivalence that they had to sort out.

Dianarose

Barsco- as my chemo hair gets longer the curls are getting tighter and frizzy. Any suggestions???

Momine- The excuse the surgeon had for the idiot was that he was new. No excuse. He had a superior sign off on it as well. I guess they just sign without reading anything.

luvmygoats

Dianarose - praying the 2nd opinion is better in your favor. No excuses for "being new". Glad your MO is on top of things.

Dianarose

I have been trying to figure out if mets or a new ovarian cancer is better. I really don't want either. All sucks. It has been a week today that he had the ovaries and fallopian tubes sent to Boston. He said it could be 2-3 weeks. It's always a waiting game for more bad news. I don't even want to go for results anymore. I told the BF he could go and then come home and lie to me. Works for me.

elimar86861

If you are expecting that, in the field of Healthcare, the percentage of quality workers and caring service providers is higher than, say, the ratio you could find in your average Taco Bell franchise workers, well, the joke will be on you. 

In my experience (and this is where I draw my subhective commentary from) most fields of employment have the 1/5-3/5-1/5 breakdown.  That is one fifth of workers excelling at their jobs, going above and beyond in what they deliver; then 3/5 who are of average competance, more or less getting the job done with no frills and standard involvement; and finally, that bottom one fifth that are turning out substandard work on a regular basis, yet for reasons unknown have not been given the boot.

Just seems a lot more wrong, when reviewing your healthcare, that you find you are "one Taco short" in your "Grande Meal" of treatment.

Dianarose, What a shame you are getting this crappy, inept level of service. 

Eph3_12

AndreaLodah, I saw the new Star Trek Monday night.  You might have been in it with your proton treatment.  I know you were one of the nurses in the sick bay with Bones, weren't you?

Eph3_12

E-what are we doing in the topper photo? I can't remember.  It looks like I wore white flipflops & I'm about ready to be angry cause the stack of work in front of me looks bigger than everyone elses.  Plus I wore green.  Why would I do that on picture day? I so prefer the purply PJs.

Meece

Oh, we're at work... I thought we were awaiting trial or something.  I chose one of the purply ones and am trying to hide my Birkenstocks because I usually match my footwear much more arefully.

heartnsoul76

Haha MamaMe! That's what I thought when I opened up this thread - those vivid images look good enough to eat (and drink)! Fortunately, we're having wings tomorrow night so I don't have to yearn for them much longer. Have you considered trying Tamoxifen? I'm post-menopausal but told the MO I preferred Tamoxifen and she had no problem with that. I was worried about my bones, liver and heart on the AIs and Tamoxifen works in a different way - it doesn't block ALL the estrogen, just the estrogen with cancer receptors. Maybe someone can explain it better than I just did but for me Tamoxifen is very tolerable with about the same effectiveness. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 77 (ten years ago).  She took Tamoxifen for 5 years (AIs weren't available yet so that was all they had for older women anyway) and she is still cancer-free.

Elimar - the competence breakdown sounds about right. Healthcare should NOT be a field that employs the least competent, though. But they do... so we basically have to play doctor to make sure the real doctor, the nurses, the blood-takers and the office staff don't overlook something. And since medical training is not in my background it's a little worrisome, n'est pas?

Diana - my hair came back curly, too.  I hated it.  When it was short it looked like Shirley Temple - I even pulled the "bangs" back with a barrette.  It's been 2 1/2 years since I finished chemo.  Now my hair is long and wavy.  The length helps straighten out the curl. I did get it trimmed several times, the last time was to try to make the layers look intentional because not only does it grow out with chemo curls it will grow out with chemo layers, too.

Dianarose

Got an email from my MO that said he recieved a notice from Beth Israel/Deaconess pathology for billing aurthorization before they would go any further. I guess my insurance won't pay for a 2nd opinion out of state. The social worker from the cancer center called and said they took care of it and the hospial where I had my surgeries is going to pay for the 2nd opinion. They have been so good to me. They really care about their patients. Not sure how long the wait is now for the results.

Heartnsoul- looking forward to my hair being longer to weigh down the curls. Too kinky.

barsco1963

Dianarose - not sure if chemo curls are the same (no chemo for me), but I tame my curly hair with mousse. Some days it takes a bit more than others.

That is awesome that the hospital will pay for the second opinion. Do you think it's because they feel responsible for the idiot's report?

I am reeeaaaaalllllly looking forward to the weekend. Just in a bit of a funk these days. Took yesterday off work and really didn't want to be there today. I think all of my big girl panties are in the clothes hamper and I just don't feel like doing any laundry! lol

Dianarose

Barsco- the hospital out sources to a lab. They don't do it in house. The hospital really cares about the patients. They are setting up a program for genetic testing for those who can't afford it or whose insurance won't cover it. They know it won't really help me at this point, but said if I had it done it would help my kids. When you have breast cancer a nurse is assigned to you and she stays with you with follow up phone calls, letters, and sometimes gift cards. Your nurse stays with you as long as you are still one of their patients. My nurse is great. When I was leaving the hospital from surgery she came and saw me and gave me a card. When I got home and opened it there was a 50.00 gas card and a movie card inside. They know it is tuff going through this finacially as well as mentally.

I am with you. Sick of wearing the big girl panties all the time. lets have a thong weekend, lol  .

barsco1963

Dianarose - what a thoughtful gesture from your nurse. It sounds like the hospital really does care. Wish I had even a piece of that. Sure my onc and nurse are caring enough but they sure don't go that extra mile.

Not crazy about thongs either ....... I think I might just go commando instead. lol

Eph3_12

  TMI girls!  these kinda thongs ? 

Eph3_12

hmmmm, the thongs disappeared.

mumito

That's the only kind I will wear Joni.😆

elimar86861

Like Barsco, I just had a terrible day yesterday, due to feeling so weak.  I could barely get off the couch all day.  I was still on the couch at night, so decided to watch the final NBA game, promptly fell asleep; woke up for the final two minutes, then wished I hadn't.

The chemo is really getting to me.  My blood counts are holding up, so my doctor always says I'm doing good, but I can't get enough nutrition in (now 18 lbs. lost, and I would like at least 10 back) soI am truly wasting away.

Dianarose,  Sounds like you have a few on your healthcare team that are in the upper-fifth, who go above and beyond for you.  Nice.

Eph,  Just when I was recoiling at the thought of actually wearing a thong, you gave me an option I could handle.  And a good laugh!!! 

Eph3_12

I drive my daughter crazy when I refer to my flipflops as thongs.  She, of course, wears the new thongs----there is not enough material there to cover my big toe!

Anonymous

And what IS the attraction to wearing dental floss in the crack of your butt!!!???  Remember when the "flipflops" of today were Zories?  :-)

Sorry you're having some bad days, Eli and Barsco.  You both are beautiful souls!  I'm lifting up prayers for your strength and health....if I could give you some of the weight I've put on since Tamoxifen, I would!

Anonymous

Some fun news...(hence the change in my avatar)

I'm leaving today for a trip with my DH and DM to Colorado to visit DB and his wife.  We're taking the "Rails and Ales" train tomorrow!  Should be fun!  Beer, music, crafts,  beer......

Eph3_12

Chacha, sounds like a fun trip.  Reno is having a Brews & Blues weekend today & tomorrow.  I was surely wishing I had enough money to warrant a trip, but alas, I still haven't won the lottery YET.  DD & I along with our new dog (who is actually HER dog...I kinda like not being the center of attention in the dog's life!) are doing a day trip tomorrow to the Southern Oregon coast! CAN NOT wait!

Yes, I remember Zories; when I lived in Waikiki in 82-85 we called flipflops, flipflop or Zories.  I would revert to thongs occasionally because that's what they were when I was little.  How do those kinda changes happen?

cricketsandfrogs

For what it's worth - thongs are what you wear on your feet.....just sayin'

Barsco - I am glad I am not the only one who has days where she really, really does not want to go to work. Sometimes, I think I am just burnt out and have been for quite a while.

Diana - I am so glad that the 2nd opinion will be paid for. It sounds like you deserve a break (or about a hundred breaks). Wasn't that whole "You deserve a break today" a McDonald's thing years ago? Now I will have that little ditty going through my head.

Doing well tonight. Had my DM here for a couple of nights so that we could take care of her. Very, very stormy here in the North Woods this week. I am sitting on our porch with a glass of wine and sending warm, loving thoughts to all of you.

NativeMainer

AndreaLodah--I can see where rads would have a definable benefit in your situation, worth the risks.  At least you know the risks, which is more info than I had.  I will be praying you have easy, successful treatment. 

Elimar--sometimes I wonder, too, if I should be taking some off the bill when I am managing most of my care myself!  Good for you for getting info out of the tech. 

Dianarose--don't blame you for not trusting the pathologist, sounds like he screwed up big time.  Don't hesitate to ask for a third read, so that you have 2 reliable readings to look at, and throw out the first one altogether. 

Hooray!  Her2 negative is a better thing!  You may want to contact your insurance company and tell them about the screw up, they may decide not to pay, or to take back what they paid for the work, and you have a good reason for not paying for it yourself. 

Dianarose

I need some imput. For about 3 days it has really hurt/burned when I stop peeing. Yesterday my low back really hurt. My back isn't as bad today, but the peeing thing hasn't gone away. My daughter insisted I go to the ER, so I did after work. I saw a PA. I must have a nack for idiots. He asked if I had ever had an UTI. I think every woman has at some point. He said well I won't bother to test you, we will just treat you for one. I told him NO, I don't want an antibiotic if I don't need one. Test came back negative. He said maybe you have kidney stones. I told him I was 2 weeks post surgery and asked if it could have to do with that. He said, gee I don't know. He said sometimes a yeast infection can do that so lets treat you for that. REally, like I wouldn't know if I had a yeast infection or not. Told my son we were leaving. I will call my primary on Monday. My daughter is so pissed. She said how the HELL did he know if you were in kidney failure or something. Either the medical profession has gone to hell quick or I just have the worst luck. Has anyone had anything similar???

barsco1963

Dianarose - seems to be that you are getting more than your fair share of medically challenged individuals lately. Could it be a kidney infection do you think? Of course it is best to call your primary on Monday.

NativeMainer

Dianarose--My poor dear, you are having the worst luck with the medical profession.  It was logical to test for a UTI, that's what I was thinking, but if it came back negative, then more investigation is indicated.  Did you by any chance get a copy of the urine test results?  Did the PA do any blood work?  A kidney infection will show up on the CBC, but not necessarily on the urine test.  Did he set you up for any x-rays or scans to look for kidney stones?  And the answer to your question is yes, the pain can be related to the surgery, but the burning pee is not.  That means either an infection or concentrated urine (what color is your pee?) or a chemical irritant in the pee (that can come from medication, dehydration, certain foods).  Are you running a temperature?  If you are there is an infection somewhere, and it could be in the surgical area, things there can cause pain that radiates to the lower back and kidney area.  But, you don't want antibiotics if that isn't the issue.  There could be some muscle spasms from the combination of surgery and the work you are doing on the bakery, but again that doesn't explain the burning pee.  Absolutely talk to your primary on Monday.  Someone needs to pay attention this and figure this out.  Please keep us up to date!  Some info for future reference, if a PA or NP is working in an ER there has to be a doctor available for the things that a PA or NP can't handle, and you can have the doctor called in at your request. The ED can't deny you that, although some will try 'cause it costs more to have the doctor come in. 

Meece

Diana, I am with the others.  I would think kidney infection.  Having had my share of them the lower back pain is what made me think that.  So sorry that you are getting the medical help you are.  It is crazy!

elimar86861

Good comprehensive answer, Native!

I'm glad you didn't go for the antibiotics straight away, Dianarose.  Doling out the antibiotics like that is so old school.  People don't want to take them on a "what if" basis these days.  I went thru' the choice when I had irritation as a S/E from rads.  It felt like infection, but I held off on the antibiotics til they tested me and no infection was present.  Don't have any idea (other than what NM has covered) what could be happening with you.  Good Luck getting some answers on Mon.

Chacha,  You avatar is not big enough for my middle-aged eyes.  What the heck is that?

Meece

I'm with you, Eli~.  I spent quite a bit of time trying to decipher her avatar.  All I can say is that there is a hand holding something, so my guess is it is a picnic???

jlbloom

Well, I must be the only woman ever to not have a UTI.  I have no advice on that one.

I did finally have my appointment with my MO.  He was covering for another doctor that was on vacation and had a patient that was receiving chemo have a seizure.  Not so sure I had his undivided attention!  I do really like him, though.

My oncotype number is 20.  By itself it doesn't do much for me other than state the obvious, I'm in that gray area, again.  There are other studies cited on the report.  Since I am post menopause and node positive (2/17), it is a bit different for me.  The MO summed it up by saying;

without any treatment I have a 12% chance of recurrence

with hormone therapy I have an 8% chance

with chemo I have a 9% chance

with HT and chemo it drops to 6-7% chance

His feeling is that the 1-2% change is not worth the SEs.  My ER score is 9.2+, PR is 8.0+, HER2 is 8.5-.  I believe there is more expertise on this thread than in many doctors offices.  NM, does that all make sense to you?

We are in total agreement that there will be NO rads.  Sounds like I'm a good candidate for a clinical trial on Tamoxifen/aromitase inhibitors.  A CT will most likely come with a second opinion on the oncotype number.

I have an appointment with my PS on Tuesday.  We can get those DIEP flap-boobs scheduled!  It's only been a month, but I sure do miss having boobs. 

My heart goes out to all of you that have endured so many different treatments.  I'm feeling very fortunate to only have had a BMX, which is almost all healed 4 weeks post-surgery.  Sorry I have made this all about ME.

I do appreciate your comments.  Hope you are all having a blessed weekend!  XOXO  Julie