MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

effcancer

My MO appointment on 8-23 went very, very well! I honestly could not have hoped for better. Here is what MO said:

"Much of the original cancer is gone. There is no new activity, and there was NO uptake at the original tumor site. Slow and steady wins the race so we will continue what we're doing!"

We are doing daily Tamoxifen and monthly Zometa (which is causing me some pretty nasty bone pain for a few days afterwards).

So I am very happy! Thanks for all of your well wishes!

cmbear

What wonderful news Eff!! What a great way to start the weekend. So happy for you!

Juneau--my eyesight seemed to change to me. I can't focus as well. But it wasn't a dramatic change.

bcbarbie10

Yoohooo, eff!!!!

my near vision changed for the better. I was +1.5 prechemo, now it's +1.0. I told my onc and he seemed surprised. Seemed to me like im really one of his weird cases.

Catnz

Yay effcancer! That's news we like to hear and I'm sure having entered the appt with much trepidation, you were floating out at the end of it. Hopefully the Zometa effects taper off for you - I had that bone/joint pain after my first chemo and it was definitely something I wouldn't wish on anyone. Good luck.

barsco1963

marlegal - 7 years! WooHoo, YeeHaw and Congratulations.

Eff - so glad to hear of your good news!

Hope we can keep the good news train rolling!

NativeMainer

Hooray for good news for eff!

Hooray for 7 years for Marlegal! 

elimar86861

juneaubugg,  It was hard for me to separate the possibly medication induced vision from my plain old middle-aged onset of farsightedness.

effcancer,  Great news!

                                        

barbe1958

eff, your tag line now says "mets". Where are you mets? I don't think I realized you were stage IV!!

Marlegal, you said it so well!!! There are days I come to the boards to take, and other days to give. Some days I do both!! This is a very important part of my mental healing and I truly care about the lives of those I've met here on this Forum. I've heard of births, deaths, weddings, jobs, love and hate and it means so much more than any shallow relationships I have in real life. I think we put our soul into every post. It's like having time to 'think' before we speak that we've been told to do all our lives. I know in the beginning I would always preview my threads to see if I had said anything wrong. I didn't always catch my social blunders, but it did give me a chance to! When someone disappears for a while we all go to the dark side in our thoughts, but it's not always what we think.

So cheers to you ladies!! 

butterfly14

Hi All,

I am pretty new to this, dx 7/16/12 with ILC at 44; considered high risk due to family history and I'm scheduled for a bmx 8/29/12. My BS and MO want to avoid radiation for me since I have lupus, and they have not said anything about chemo as of yet. I was told by BS that tumor is anywhere from 1.9 to 3.3 cm depending on legs and it is very near my chest wall. Because of location he is going to take some chest muscle as well.

He ordered the onco-dx test, is this the only decision for chemo or are there other factors to determine if chemo is needed?

Any information or guidance will be greatly appreciated.

Carla 

barbe1958

Carla, are they going to check your armpit nodes? If the cancer has been trapped by a node or two, they will sometimes do chemo then. Or, depending on your hormonal status, which will be found during surgery, you may take a daily pill to help stave off more growth. Does that help or did I just confuse you.

butterfly14

Barbe,

That does help, they are taking sentinel nodes after he injects some kind of blue dye. The biopsy showed ER/PR+ and HER-. So many terms lately trying to remember and keep up with them.

elimar86861

I knew if I put up a pic of some pretty flowers, I'd attract a butterfly.  Welcome, butterfly14!   If your tumor does turn out to be on the larger end of the sizes you wrote, and depending on the Grade (which is an indication of agression/growth) then they may feel chemo is something you should have.  Especially, as Barbe said, if there is node involvement; and even having the OncoDx would probably just be a money-wasting formality if the doc feels it is straightforward that chemo is needed.  The OncoDx is really a tool to help women with small/early tumors, that are ER+/PR+, and who are node negative (although, now it includes women with 3 or less nodes involved also) to determine whether doing chemo would have much benefit at all.  Normally the ER+/PR+ are slow growers, and if that is the case, chemo is usually less effective.  With or without chemo, having ER+/PR+ is going to put you into the hormonal therapy club.

I know you will have a hard time telling your mind to just sit still until after Weds. surgery, and that's o.k.  Read up on whatever you want to.  Ask us whatever you want to.  But try not to get into a lot of the "what if thinking."  You will know soon enough exactly what you will be dealing with and take it from there.  If you want to hang out with us in the meantime, we are very happy to wait along with you.   In fact, all you have to do is say the word, and you can have a whole load of B/C sisters "jump into your pocket" to go along with you on Weds.

barbe1958

Perfect Carla!! You will know after the surgery so much more than you do know. And so will your doctor. Right now they can only guess. The tumour may end up smaller or even bigger than they think!

Sherryc

Eff woohoo on the good news.  I take Zometa every 6 six months.  The first time I did really good with drinking water to flush my liver and I had no achey joints.  The second time I was not as good and I had the achey joints.  The clinic nurse had told me to drink lots and lots of water the day before, day of and day after.  I'll have to do better next time.

Carla welcome this is a great place for information and support or whine and cry if you need to we all have at some point.

Paula66

That's good to see Eff!

Welcome butterfly!  I didn't have the onco-type done so I don't know what that's all about.  My Onc was clear with the fact that it did get to 2 of the 3 nodes, and she stress that LVI was extensive that it was something for me to consider about the chemo.  I did do it and am glad I did.  So much of this is a crap shoot and I wanted to make for sure that I was doing the best I could.  I still have some issues to work out in my head with regards to how on earth I could have an MRI and a mammo 6 months apart and they show nothing.  But fast forward a year later and I have cancer.  I just want to make for sure that I did whatever was so if there were things going on that the chemo or the tamo hopefully will get those pesky cancer cells if they lingered hiding somewhere. 

butterfly14

Thank you all for the information. I am hoping the tumor is on the smaller side with no node involvement. With bmx, how long before you can shampoo or shower, someone had told me not until the drains come out. My PS told me she was putting in four drains that will be there for 7-10 days. Is it hard to get out of a regular bed?  I am considering sleeping in the recliner.

Trying to keep myself busy, but feel like I'm doing some odd kind of count down, an end to life as I know it and onto the unknown.I am finding out who my real friends are, and it is really surprising the ones that stopped talking to me when I let them know I have breast cancer.

This is going to be a long learning process, I appreciate your advice and support.

Carla  

Dakota212

Butterfly-

Welcome. Sorry to hear about your friends. U will find lots of friends here.

Eph3_12

And not that I'm trying to defend, but lots of time people just don't know what to say or how to say it!

marlegal

Carla, I didn't notice when you joined hte thread, but in case you didn't see it ... I celebrated my 7th cancer-free anniversary on the 24th. I did say goodbye to a life as I knew it, but I am happy to say that I found myself in a great place when all was said and done. Yes, some friends seem to disappear, but like Joni said, some people just don't handle this type thing very well. Doesn't mean they're not pulling for you, and have your best interests at heart though. You can shower with drains by the way ... you need to take special precautions, and your surgeon will fill you in about that, but you can shower. Perhaps not hte first day after, but by 2nd day, and with no complications, you should  be ok. Most of us found the drains annoying, but just keep telling yourself "this is temporary" over and over ... it helps! Gentle hugs to you for best possible outcome. Keep us posted.

Paula66

Carla my ps had me showering by the 2nd day.  The drains at first are something to get use to, but once you learn how to get around with them, it is easier to shower. 

Like marlegal says, life takes on a whole different meaning.  Life for me has been so different.  Things that would really get to me somehow don't.  If they do it's short lived in my mind.  

I think with some friends, they just don't understand what your going thru.  Heck I was there for my sissy both times she had went thru surgeries and chemo.  Her son came and stayed with us while she went thru all of her treatments and surderies, so she could do what she needed to do as far as healing.  I never really understood what she went thru until I went thru it myself.  I think some people just don't know what to do.  Hang in there an know that your family and friends are there for you and in the end you'll come to find that you'll get what you need from them in their own way.  

marlegal

Carla, something else I just thought of ... my bestest friend in the world didn't exactly rally round when I was dx'd. It bothered me, but I love her so much, I didn't want to dwell on it, 'cause I was afraid of what I'd decide. At some point during treatment, she sent me a card. Just a little funny thing, no big deal. But what she wrote inside ... she said something like "I know I haven't called you much - I figure you have tons of people coming out of the woodwork to help and to sit with you, etc. etc. I was there before your diagnosis, and I'll be there afterward, and always." It hit a note with me Maybe you have a few friends who feel that way but aren't saying it right now. Just a thought.

juneaubugg

Carla; I was allowed to shower too. I was told to pin my drains to an old belt so they didn't have anything pulling on them.



I also bought a wedge for under my pillows; for my bed. You can get them at bed bath & beyond. This way I can sleep more upright. It was suggested by a friend who is also a survivor. Best piece of advice I've gotten.



I agree too about the friends thing. I had to call then, tell them where I was art, educate them on what was happening to me and ask for their help. They were scared for me, didn't know what to say, how I'd react if they asked questions; they can't read my mind, so I had to ask. Once I did they were totally there.

butterfly14

Thank you all for the feedback on being able to shower and the ideas for handling the drains. I was picturing 7-10 days without a shower and it wasn't pretty.

Juneaubugg, the wedge sounds like a great idea. I will check out bed, bath and beyond tomorrow. I live in the Tampa Bay area of Florida, so Isaac is having some fun outside today here.

Marlegal, 7 year survivor is awesome. I hope you had a huge celebration on the 24th. 

Two days to go, and getting a little nervous.

I hope you all have a wonderful Monday.

Carla 

Meece

I have been helping a friend of someone who just went through a bmx.  Helping her to understand where her friend is at has helped both of them.  Our friends don't know what to do or say, and as most of us know, it doesn't have to be something insensitive to send us into a crying spell.  Cancer leaves everyone feeling helpless, and some people deal with that by backing off.  I don't say that justifies the abandonment, but it may explain some of it.

Katharine2411

I've just finished my second round of chemo and I too have had good friends run for the hills. Hurt. I think some can't deal with my cancer because I remind them of someone they loved who didn't make it, others can't face the fact that if I can get it so can they. Others just don't know what to say to me. Now here's the good part ... The most amazing people have stepped up. People I would never have expected to have been there for me. So forgive the ones who run and trust that others will indeed step up for you. Trust your heart in this journey. Its what is getting me down the golden path to health.

butterfly14

Thank you all. The ones that have disappeared are the ones I would have never expected. Others, like my mother in law have stepped up. This journey will not only change the physical, but as I am learning every aspect of life. As Wednesday approaches, nerves and concentration abandoning me, but my kitten is by my side,and unusually affectionate.

Marple

(((((butterfly))))) Animals can be so intuitive.  Good luck to you.  May it all go well.  Kudos to your MIL.

marlegal

My reticent brother called me every week during treatment. Sometimes we'd be on the phone for 5 minutes, sometimes for 2 hours. He's not a phone person and had never done that before, and hasn't done it since, but man did I look forward to those phone calls I missed them when they stopped, but it was one of those things under the heading "for a season or a reason". He was there for a season, for a reason, and then we moved on. I hope all of you starting down this path have enough people helping you out, holding you up, and making you laugh!

Paula66

When I first found out that I had cancer another woman at church had it as well.  At first we both were facing different issues even though we both had breast cancer.  She was going thru chemo as I was going thru surgeries.  Then it turned vise versa.  I got thru surgeries chemo and tamoxifen with the normal issues.  She on the other hand had issue after issue. Chemo was not good to her and the surgeries left her with problems as well.  We would talk and compare notes.  As I was finishing chemo she was having her last surgery and it wasn't good for her.  She had problems and had to put surgery off a few times.  Heres the part I know that a lot of you are going to gasp at.  When I finished chemo and was starting to feel better and she wasn't, I would try to avoid her.  It's not that I didn't want to be around her, I did.  I just felt so much guilt that I was going thru this whole process, just having the normal SE all the while she really was put thru the ringer.  I felt that being around her would somehow upset her and thats not what I wanted to do.  For all I know it could have never even bothered her to see me, but in my mind that was how I saw it.  But in the end I did get over myself and stopped avoinding her because I know that all of us are different and how we react to treatment.

I know the one person who really blew me off was my sissy.  Her and I have always been close and for her to do that to me really hurt.  Parts of me think because I was a reminder for her, and what she had to go thru.  When she went thru chemo it was awful for her.  One day that all changed, because I think that she dealt with whatever she had to deal with and got over it and was able to talk with me about SE and such.     

bcbarbie10

It hurts when the people we expect the most to bear with us are the ones who let us down. I console myself that i have a whole lot other people who are solidly beside me, but still. I dont know if i can still accept them like before.