MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

jo1955

When I got home last night I was overwhelmed and freaking out.  Feel a bit better today but still anxious.  Thought I had reached a point in this crappy journey and I could move on the better things.  Guess not - at least for now.  I try to stay so positive about this but some days it is really hard.  Anyone else go through this?  I am almost 5 mos since dx - am I asking too much too soon?

barbe1958

Jo, you do know that you DON'T have to stay positive about it, don't you???????

You have the RIGHT to be stressed.

You have the RIGHT to be scared.

You have the RIGHT to cry.

You have the RIGHT to be angry.

Get it? ?Being positive right now serves no end. You don't have to be brave, you just have to show up.

elimar86861

To paraphrase the great patriot, Thomas Paine:  "These are the times that try women's souls." 

The seemingly never-ending stream of B/C scares and scans, punctuated by the many F/U office visits, are trying times.  Having B/C can physically wear you down.  Having B/C can also mentally wear you down.  In some ways, that is even worse because the mental state can linger.

I know from what the women here write that many of us are out, after treatment, living our lives, not bowing to cancer every single day.  I can also tell that that we are never completely over B/C. 

To paraphrase the sages of rap, Run-DMC, "B/C's like that, and that's the way it is."

[Oh yeeaah!  That's an exclusive.  Where else you gonna find a post that references both Thomas Paine and Run-DMC?  Not just any old discussion board.]

elimar86861

Right on, Barbe!

kal_1865

barbe1958-thanks for affirming that we don't have to be "ok" all the time, i needed that today.

jo1955-i'm worn out today too.  i still have 2 more chemo treatments and i'm so swollen (i have a history of varicose veins too) and can't take my regimen aspirin, my nose won't stop running and this saturday my family talked me into scheduling our annual trip to nyc for a broadway play.  i kept telling them this is not the time to do this but they kept insisting that the weekend before my treatments "you do so well..." the tickets have been purchased and there is no backing out.

just feeling crappy today and needed to vent..

jo1955

barbe - Thanks for saying that. That makes me feel better. I was feeling so overwhelmed last night that I told my DH that I was going to go to bed, cover up and never come out again.  Doing a little better today - have to work so that helps with the distraction.

I get so tired of hearing from people here that I need to grow up and get over this.  That doesn't help at all.  

Kal - We can feel crappy together - always feel free to vent  (((HUGS))) 

TMarina

Jo--one thing I have learned through all this is to "expect the unexpected".  I think we have all had many disappointments, many times where we just went "really?  Haven't I been through enough?"  So you are not alone in that!  And you are not alone because we are all here giving you virtual hugs, and holding your hand!!  Glad you are feeling a bit better today!  I like what Barbe said--You have the right!

Carol, welcome here.  Sorrry you have to go through the whole cancer thing again.  I had colon cancer in 2009 (at age 44), and then bc in 2010.  I became a grandma and my 2nd daughter got married during my tx for colon cancer, then my youngest graduated and left for college during bc tx. It's a crazy time of life even without the cancer--then throw that into the mix, and well, things get even crazier!  You need to take care of yourself.  Find someone you are comfortable with to go to your appts. with you.  Ask your sisters to make some meals for you. Give yourself time to cry and be upset.  Come back here often to let us know how you are doing!

Tina

Sherryc

CArol welcome but sorry you have to be here.  It is a great place for support

Jo-sorry about all this for you.  Hope you get someone who knows what they are doing with IV's.  I also think it is time for you to have a break.

Update on my step-dad.  Hard to get info from my mom because she keeps forgetting..... Anyway finally got the info that he is being referred to my RO so that is good since I already know everyone.  I will go with my parents on Monday.  Boy is my RO gonna be suprised to see me again so soon, since I just finished rads on Monday of this week.  I am still waiting on a call from my dad's PCP because I have questions that my mom can't seem to ask, she just follows directions, urgggggggggh.  So at least he will have the same Dr's as me which will make things easier.  I will def have to get my brothers involved because I just don't have much time left at work to take off and my parents can't seem to ask questions and communicate with us kids very well.  They either don't hear or they forget. Thanks for all the support.

Eph3_12

E-you just keep finding the coolest pictures!  I have to switch cause the next one is even cooler!

Paula66

Welcome Carol.  I to was overwhelmed with everything.  You have come to the right place.  These gals here are a bundle of knowledge, and they are so willing to share.  EPH its me who does chemo next friday.  My sister went thru it 10 yrs ago and it was hell on her.  But I do know that things have changed so much and that really helps.  Thanks for the tips.

jo1955

Got a call over my lunch hour from the hospital for my scans tomorrow.  I am supposed to be there at 10:00 in the morning.  Hope this does not turn out to be an all day affair.  What a way to spend a day off. Oh well, gotta do what I gotta do.

Many thanks to everyone for your support.  Felt like I was in super panic mode last night.  

                               

elimar86861

jo, it does take about 3 hours for the radioactive tracer (for bone scan) to circulate and get "in position" in your bones, so there's no way to shorten that length of time.  But, while you wait, I imagine they will do the whole CT, and you can probably squeeze in lunch before your bone scan, since there is no fasting necessary for the bone scan. 

I forgot to drink a ton of water (and pee it out) before my bone scan so when I had the scan, my bladder showed up pretty white on there.  Do like Seyla said & guzzle the water.

jo1955

elimar - will do on the water

heartnsoul76

jo - I just remembered - when they were injecting the dye for a scan I had not long ago, as the nurse was approaching with the IV, I told her "I dread this part." She said, "I'll try to be careful," and I didn't even know when she had done it. I never felt a thing! Some of them are extremely good at that, and maybe talking to the nurse beforehand will make them very careful with you. Plus, don't forget that little pill! I'm sorry you have to do this. I didn't have a port when I had chemo - OMG, I don't even want to talk about that! But those nurses did tell me to drink a lot of water the day before and also to eat a lot of potato chips! I guess the sodium helps to retain the water, but I knew that was one pre-procedure instruction I would have no trouble following.

jo1955

heartnsoul - I was not given any pre procedure instructions.  Just told when to be at the hospital, to bring the doctors orders, my insurance and an ID.  Since I am not having a whole body scan, the process must be different.  Just guessing.

heartnsoul76

jo - I was just kidding about calling it a pre-procedure instruction. You know, usually pre-procedure instructions are not tasty! 

That was just what the nurses told me to do to help plump up my veins the day before they had to search for a vein to give me chemo via an IV. They said eating potato chips and drinking a lot of water will help them find my veins easier.

Claire82

potato chips?

yay now i cant wait to get my blood taken!

heartnsoul76

Exactly! Potato chips and water before the needles come at ya! 

Eph3_12

The sodium levels in the labs will seriously give the doc pause however!

jo1955

I could indulge in a whole bag tonight. That doesn't sound like a bad idea.

Eph3_12

Betcha can't eat just 1!

TMarina

yummm--can I get my blood drawn tomorrow too?

jo1955

Won't have time to get on here in the morning before I head to the hospital.  Just came from a dance in our park and had a great time.  I love to country dance.  Trying to wind down before I head off to bed and hopefully get some sleep.  Will update everyone tomorrow when I get back

Good Night Everyone 

JeanH

Hi everyone,



Just checking in quick welcome to our new members,



Paula Add me to the freaking/stressing party I start chemo on Feb 3 without a port.



Jo good luck with the tests, the other hint to add to the lots of water is to warm your hand before they do the IV (watch the cold water bottles) cold constricts the blood vessels. like the chips idea.

We are always here for you.



Elimar love the Aurora picture.

JeanH

Sorry post got stuck...



Barb thanks for the reminder I think we all need to remember that.



I love that this thread can have a post with thomas Paine and Run DMC



Sherry good luck with your step Dad.



Good night hugs to all



Jean

Meece

Jean, why are you not getting a port?  I was never offered one, and I did not  have a support system that let me know the benefits of one.  I would want one, knowing now what I didn't know then.  I had blood draws every week and the chemos, and my veins are shot.

jo1955

                              

elimar86861

Hope your scans go well today, jo!  Try not to let anxiety get the best of you.

walker2222

I have been off for a while and boy a lot going on.

Jo - Hang in there, I was confused on the bone scan though, when I had mine I was jus lying on a table and the moved the thing over and under me.  Must be a different type, no IV.  I hate IV's because my left arm has such small veins.  Keep us up to date on how you are doing, good/bad/everything inbetween.

SherryC - Sorry about your step dad, but having you go with him to his appointment will help both him, your mom and yourself.

Ran into an old college mate of mine that I had not seen in 10 years at the RO's (Texas Oncology) office this week.  She has pancratic cancer and is doing chemo.  It was good to see her but bad due to the circumstance.

It is so good to have you all to share our moments with.

barbe1958

Miller, your test must have been a bone DENSITY test.