MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

Eph3_12

Kleenex!  You still crack me up.  I love to read your posts.  My future chef daughter already believes she is famous because if I came home to a chocolate cake production there would be no cleaning until I was blue in the face from yelling.  She thinks she should have the hired help (me) do that.  And it's not how she was raised either; when she was little she was responsible for cleaning up her own messes but I have ALWAYS had to ride rough shod over her (and just what does "ride rough shod" mean anyway?)

Meece

Roug shod were horse shoes with projections to prevent slipping.  Soooo If you ride your daughter rough shod you stand firm and will not slip or give way.

barbe1958

AND, it would hurt and make her work quicker and not forget the lesson!

Meece

The cleaning of the room was something that got the kids going...I just got in their rooms and started cleaning EVERYTHING!  They were always in a panic, cleaning as fast as they could ahead of me.

NativeMainer

I don't have kids, but I remember my Mom cleaning my room while I was at school.  Anything she picked up got thrown away, unless it too valuable to throw.  Those things I had to earn back by doing chores, usually washing dishes for a week.  I  hated washing dishes, and Mom would use every pot and pan she could.  Did you know a woman can use 3 pots and 1 frypan to make mac & cheese?  And these were copper bottomed pots,which had to be scrubbed and polished with every wash.  I will NEVER own copper bottomed cookware!  And I couldn't use the dishwasher, either, it all had to be done by hand.  I was really, really miffed when my younger brother got old enough to clean his own room and she didn't do that to him, she just shut the door and ignored the mess.  Someday I'll have to ask her why the difference. . .

sheila888

Native...Because with the second child its no longer a shock.

NativeMainer

Probably.  But I still think it was because he is a boy and was the baby of the family.

hobie644

Haha, when I was growing up I would ask my Mom, "why don't you ever ask my younger brother to do chores"  responce: "because he's just a little boy"  "but Mom, he's 16 yrs old"  Oh, the youngest have it easy...but not mine, I learned from my Mom not to have favorites!

Carol~who recently turned 50

barbe1958

My younger brother says he used to LOVE lying in bed listening to the vacuum cleaner going!!!

Holy hell! To me that meant I was late for chores!!! That meant stripping the linoleum floor and re-waxing. Ironing all afternoon in 1/2 hour shifts with my sister (I don't even OWN an iron now!). I hated Saturdays. The only way I got out of it was to get paying job!

hobie644

I have an iron, but my husband ruined it waxing his skies.  Growing up, I had to make my bed perfect...now, I no longer make my bed, unless absolutely necessary, like, when my Mom comes over ;-}  oh, and I don't have a set routine for any chores!

Eph3_12

I have an iron & ironing board, but when I brought them out when DD was about 12 she honestly asked, "What are those things?"  I always had to vaccum & dust-as an adult, my house gets vaccumed only when company is expected.  For a while I hosted a weekly Bible study, just to make sure I cleaned! 

sheila888

barbe1958

I used to work full AND part time. One day because of a doctor appointment I told my (then) 4 year old daughter that I would be home to make her dinner. Oh my!!! She laughed and laughed and laughed!!! I asked her what was so funny? She said "Mommy, Daddy do dinner!" That really hit home.

Meece

DH always helps me make the bed.  In five years of marriage our bed has not been made maybe a dozen times, most of the time was because I was recouperating from surgery.  He also irons his own shirt every morning, other than Saturdays.  I will help out if he is rushed.  He will do dishes, emptying and reloading the dishwasher or by hand, and he will vacuum the entire house.  He won't however dust the furniture or do anything to do with cleaning bathrooms.  I think I have it pretty good, and will gladly clean the bathrooms and dust.

barbe1958

My DH does the shopping and cooking. Also all the laundry which I have to remind him of. HATES doing the outside work which I LOVE but can't do anymore. That's why we're moving. He will vacuum, but also won't dust or Windex. Never done a window or a sink either, but hey...I'll take him!

OG56

And my mother was such a clean freak that grew up to be just like her but I no longer have the energy and it is no longer on my necessary list, love me love my mildly clean house or let's not visit here LOL!

It is time for my MRI again and I feel the anxiety starting to build for Tuesday! Everyone of the damn things brings me another excisional biopsy, I tried to wiggle my way out of it but I need a good base line on the right. I am going to ask about the new recommendation for high risk women to have twice yearly Mammo's and maybe an MRI every two. You know when I was done with my last radiation I really naively thought "I am cured and thats that".  Keep your fingers and toes crossed for me middies!

NativeMainer

Those of you who have spouses and/or children to help with the housework do not know how much you are blessed.  As a single woman, either I do it all or it doesn't get done.  You have no idea the depth of frustration and depression that seeing things needing to be done (sweeping, vacuuming, dishes, laundry, making the bed, emptying trash cans, etc) and not having the energy to take care of them can bring.  Or the the embarassment of having to ask a friend to do it for you when they come to visit.  Or the demoralization of listening  to your mother's critique of your housekeeping ability as she does the housework. 

Praying for you OmahaGirl--I could NEVER get through an MRI and I am SO glad I don't have to have that or a CT!  

barbe1958

Omaha, what made you a Stage 1 A? I mean, where does the A come in?

barbe1958

Hey ladies, I'm kind of upset. TWICE now on Facebook, which I normally just use for games, there has been "People you may know" links to make friends. Both times it was one of the sisters here that have passed! It's kind of freaking me out. It's been Pat (Saint) and now it's showing Phyllis (the one with the troll face). How weird is THAT?????

Anonymous

Don't worry, it's not some ominous prediction. Those Facebook things are randomly generated by a computer. 

They are probably friends of at least one of your friends there, and let's face facts, nobody wants to unfriend them.  I think it's kind of nice to think that even though they're not with us anymore, Saint and Watson still pop up and we are still reminded of them.

barbe1958

Watson! I feel so bad I couldn't remember her bco name...

They are linked as "common friends" but it's still freaky.

arby

fELT LIKE JUMPING IN AND SAYING A PRAYER FOR OMAHA GIRL AND HER ANXIETY.  i CAN RELATE, WAITING FOR MAMMO RESULTS AND A YRLY CHECKUP THIS COMING THUR.  I do pray the Psalms as they release a power greater than me and the thoughts of a good God holding my hand is comforting.  But anxiety is a real sleep robber.  So while I'm praying myself to sleep this week, I'll pray also for you. " What time I am afraid I will trust in You. " I gotta  question for this thread since many of you will too be thru menopause and prob ably have a slowed down metabolism.  WHat has worked for wt loss?  I finished chemo the end of Jan and had gained 25#.  Finally got serious about exercising in late spring and lost 12 # for my daughter's wedding.  I'm still on the bike and walking and do wts twice a week but have hit a plateau.  It had depressed the heck out of me.  My owlish hair-do doesn't help.  Just ready to have that "new normal" be an IMPROVED version of the before BC me!  I know it ain't gonna happen; but please give me some tips that have helped you regain your image confidence and composure.  thanks for listening....and hold me accountable to heed the feedback I get.  arby

arby

fELT LIKE JUMPING IN AND SAYING A PRAYER FOR OMAHA GIRL AND HER ANXIETY.  i CAN RELATE, WAITING FOR MAMMO RESULTS AND A YRLY CHECKUP THIS COMING THUR.  I do pray the Psalms as they release a power greater than me and the thoughts of a good God holding my hand is comforting.  But anxiety is a real sleep robber.  So while I'm praying myself to sleep this week, I'll pray also for you. " What time I am afraid I will trust in You.  I gotta a question for this thread since many of you will too be thru menopause and prob ably have a slowed down metabolism.  WHat has worked for wt loss?  I finished chemo the end of Jan and had gained 25#.  Finally got serious about exercising in late spring 12# for my daughter's wedding.  I'm still on the bike and walking and do wts twice a week but have hit a plateau.  It had depressed the heck out of me.  My owlish hair-do doesn't help.  Just ready to have that "new normal" be an IMPROVED version of the before BC me!  I know it ain't gonna happen; but please give me some tips that have helped you regain your image confidence and composure.  thanks for listening....and hold me accountable to heed the feedback I get.  arby

NativeMainer

arby--Congratulations on losing 12# for your daughter's wedding! That's quite an accomplishement!  Do you do weight work at a gym?  If so, ask if they have a trainer that you can consult with.  I'm thinking that increasing the weight work, which increases muscle mass, which increases metablolism might be helpful.  And are you drinking enought fluids/water?   If not, in the heat we've been having it's easy to get salt and water unbalanced and that tends to hold on to weight.   You mention feeling depressed--you might want to discuss this with one of your docs.  Depression itself can cause weight gain, even without a change in how much you eat.  Yes, many antidepressants list weight gain as a side effect, but if you have more energy to put into your work outs and continue to watch what you eat you can avoid that and go on to loose weight.  I lost weight when I went on an antidepressant just from the lifting of the depression and  the physical symptoms it causes.  Let us know how it goes for you.

Kleenex

Joni - that's what I do: invite people over. Forces me to clean the house. I wish I would clean it for ME and my family, but apparently outsiders are more worthy of cleanliness. I've had a cleaning person in the past from time to time, and while I don't clean for the cleaning person, I DO de-clutter for the cleaning person, to reveal the surfaces (counter and floor) that can then be cleaned. If I would do that for myself, then it wouldn't take long to actually clean things, once they're uncovered. So what I need is a fake cleaning person who never actually comes...

Omahagirl - my onc doesn't have me do MRI's (I had one prior to surgery). She says too many things pop up that aren't actually anything. I just have digital mammograms every six months. Interesting how different "standard of care" can be. I'm thinking I'd like to have one in here somewhere. Hopefully, yours is totally uneventful and quick!

To help you feel better about your day: my poor daughter and 200+ of her nerdy band friends start their marching practice this morning. It's going to be 106 here today, and close to that for the rest of the week. Luckily, they will be inside in the afternoon, but it's not particularly pleasant out there NOW, either...

OG56

Barbe, stage 1a the a is because I had an invasive component less than a cm.

Thanks for the positive thoughts, my PLCIS is the only reason I am having MRI's because was the pre-cursor to my BC. and we have to watch carefully for invasive lobular carcinoma. However, if I had never had the 1st post-op MRI I could be living in la la land, because we never would have known that I had any type of LCIS   My BS and I find this whole situation a bit of a conundrum since the MRI's have so many false positives.

Suthenflowah

Kleenex: "So what I need is a fake cleaning person who never actually comes..."

Hey, I'll be your fake cleaning person, if you'll be mine!...thanks for the LOL.

Kleenex

Suthenflowah - sounds like a plan. I am also happy to be your fake overnight house guest if you'll be mine. That will force cleaning of the guest bedroom, currently known as the "junk drawer with a door."

PauldingMom

Praying for you Omaha FREAK. People actually stop us and ask who does your yard. He loves to tell them what type of fertilizer and stuff he uses. I have actually seen him picking up stray leaves out of the front yard by hand. Next weekend we are going to bleach the driveway. Insane ! He's also good at cleaning up around the house. His mother was a clean freak and he caught the disease. Only one prob. he doesn't put things away right. His idea of picking up is to shove it in the closet or under the bed. Uck!  but I try not to complain as at least its out of the way. 

Eph3_12

Kleenex!  Girl, I am rolling on the floor & that's not good because I'm gathering up all the dust bunnies!!!

ALERT***  My 15 yr old DD (almost 16 as she says) starts a REAL job today.  She got hired by a local credit union as they are going to install a branch @ her high school.  She has training this week & next & is getting paid real $ - minimum wage which in Oregon is $8.40. When she is doing the bank work @ the school, she will earn elective credit toward her graduation requirements & on breaks, etc.  she'll be eligble to pick up hours at the local branches for $$.  I'm celebrating!!