**NEW** Starting Chemo March 2009

Dawnmrn1

Krista!  What a REMARKABLE MAN you are married to. I think he knows you very well, and knew how to handle you in your time of need!  My husband is similar and is standing strong by me during this chemo adventure.  Not much emotion, supportive in a silent way! When I am down he just tells me I will be ok, and I think he really believes it! I hope and pray he is right!  Thanks for your perspective, it is great to hear from people who have made it thru this journey!I can relate to the eyebrow thing, I feel like a kid with a crayon when I draw them on! Thanks for your comments! Dawn

Krista

Yeah I am very lucky.  Believe me, I try to remind myself of that every day when my husband begins to drive me insane.  HA HA!  It's hard to see a man's feelings when they are silent and they don't show emotion on their face a lot.  So all we see is someone that isn't feeling what we are feeling.  No, they can't feel the same way since they aren't the one's going through it but they have their own emotions that they are dealing with and trying to get us through this ordeal.  Which is more important to the man....more than likely helping to get us through the ordeal. 

Yeah, now remember what I said about the eyebrow thing......they come back with a vengeance!  Eyebrow wax is a must!  Stay positive Dawnmrn1!  That is the main thing!  Stay positive.  Don't let the ugly thoughts enter your head.  I know that they creep in a lot.  But one thing is for sure, positive energy is what helps to heal our bodies, mind and souls.  I know...cheesy right....sappy...yeah yeah I know.  I had the same thoughts too but it's true.  Stay positive ya'll!  You can get through this!  I made it!  Yes it sucks big time and I hated every bit of every treatment.  My thing was that I wanted to make it and I wasn't going to stop fighting!  Keep on girlies! 

Janet0527

Krista wrote: "Stay positive.  Don't let the ugly thoughts enter your head.  I know that they creep in a lot.  But one thing is for sure, positive energy is what helps to heal our bodies, mind and souls."

I sincerely believe this to be the most absolute truth.  Krista, thanks - we all need to be reminded sometimes that the power is within each of us. 

Krista

Anytime darlin', anytime!  I know the feelings of just being lost and just wanting to scream, but the only thing negative thoughts will do is negative things to your heart, soul, mind and body.  Positive energy is what heals.  If you can't find anything to laugh at go rent one of Jeff Dunham's videos!  That will for sure make you laugh!  Can't help but to laugh at poor Peanut!  ha ha!

Dawnmrn1

Krista!  You are so right!  I just saw a friend of mine talking about her brother-in-law, who should have died 2 years ago, he is still fighting  his cancer!  He wants to see his son graduate from the Coast Guard Academy next week.  He is fighting the fight and so are we!!Thanks for being so positive!  Dawn

kellyless

Can I get on this list?  

Kellyless - 3/06/09 - AC x 4 dd, T x 4

Looks like chrisc433 & Ann-Idiot are right there with me if they've stayed on sked. 

Krista

My motto:  You either stand up and fight or you lay down and die!  I will not lay down and die!  It's one foot in front of another and you just go!  Tell your friend to keep going!

bethr

Krista,

 I just read your post about your husband.  How wonderful to have a man like that in your life.  Although I haven't been totally negative lately, my chemo-meltdowns as I've come to refer to them are definitely taking their toll and your post has definitely given me a much needed boost.  Three down and three to go!  I'm hanging in there.

 Thank you!!!

 And some words a friend of mine sent to me that rang true as well...  from Winnie-the-Pooh of all things...    But it was just what I needed to remember....  Hope it helps for you guys too..

 "Promise me you'll always remember:  You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

My best to all of you!!! 

 Beth

Janet0527

Yay!  So much positive energy on the boards today. 

Krista

Oh bethr I am so glad that I could help you. Just think you are half done!  Half way there!  Keep on Keepen on!  There is light at the end of that tunnel.  I promise.  I know what you are thinking....yeah right! Sure there is!  But it's true.  There is a glimmer of light there!  Keep looking.  It will get brighter after each treatment!  I promise!  Keep looking!

Mom_of_boys

EVERYONE... WHEN... and there will be a WHEN... you finish your final tx, take it easy.  Since my final chemo, I decided in my own little head that I was back to 100%.  I have since come down with a bad upper respiratory infection.  Thank God it wasn't pneumonia.  I'm fine and certainly continue to be thankful that I didn't have some of the horrendous SEs some of you have experienced.  BUT, everyone please remember to rest and take care of your health... even after your final chemo! 

ginagina

Kellyless - you bet!  Adding you to the list now. Anyone else need an update????

ginagina

MOB - good advice! You take it easy too. Hugs

marshall2000

Omg, i absolutely hate it when i lose my post. i just typed for 20 minutes, a nice long grumpy cathartic bitchfest and then it disappeared.

ok, Welcome to kellyless, hate that you have to be here, but it is the best support group, better than your own private shrink, all the ladies are wonderful.

My bitchfest boils down to this, i started my dd taxol tx on thursday, taxol f***ing sucks, i was looking forward to an easier time of it now that the ac was done and over with, not, excruciating pain from top of my head to tips of my toes, onc finally took care of it today, i missed 3 days from work because of pain,i hate that, my son had to have surgery on his arm for a staph infection, and while i was with him at the hopital, my mom got admitted for acute mental status changes, she didn't have a stroke thank goodness, but she was just in the hospital last week for 5 days, kidney stones and gallstones, my mom is paralyzed from the middle of her chest down, my brother is also disabled, i think his diagnosis is self-centerd  Mr.gloom and doom shit for brains. they all moved into my house with me. my son can't help with my mom right now because of the infection in his arm, my brother woudn't come to the hospital "I just can't stand seeing her like this" He needs to man up and grow some cahonas,balls etc.  He showed up at the hospital today to give me a little break, i thought hre had finally seen the light and decided to be more supportive, but then i talked to my boyfriend and i believe his words were "I had a little chat with him, he needs to be a man and help you more, you are running yourself into the ground and i am not having it" He is a man of very few words, but i am glad he loves me enough to step in when he saw the need. He has stayed up there with my mom, and it isn't even his mom, my brother is big jerk, i can't even talk about my side effects and pain, because no matter what i say he has it too only 100 times worse.He is definately at the top of my shit list right now.

ok i realy am done now, thanks so much for listening and i hope everyone is feeling good and having a great day.

p.s. Congratulations to everyone done with their chemo. i am green with jealousy and envy.

Question; Do we all stay together here or do we move to the radiation forum. i vote we all stay together because we all started together even though some of our treatment paths have taken different turns than others, we know and support each other so well and i don't want to lose that.

Love to all, Michelle

buddy1

Marshall Its not fair that you have so much on your plate.  I am so glad you having such a loving boyfriend.  I wish I lived closer and there were some way I could lighten your load.  I am glad your mom didnt have a stroke.  i hope your sons arm heals quickly.  Maybe your brother will wake up.  You hang tight.  Keep strong. 

Kimmom

Crashed and burned today...

My second taxol and I had a horrid reaction. My blood pressure shot up to 197/93, I couldnt breath, tightness in my chest, my whole spine was spazzing, I was screaming in pain, I turned beet red, my heart was racing out of my chest. Honestly thought I was dieing right there. But the nurses and Dr. all came running stopped the taxol shot me full of benedryl and I don't know what else and after a few minutes it went away except for some of the back pain. The back pain was awful. Then thet waited an hour pumped me up with more benedryl and restarted at a 10th of the dose. But I started reacting again right away.... so now I have to start on taxatore next week. I don't know how often yet. Hopefuly it will be much better.

Praying that the rest of you are side effect free.

sakura73

Kimmom I am so sorry to read of your reactions. I am glad the nurses took care of it quickly but it must have been terrifying. I pray that you have a calm week with no further problems and that taxotere is much easier for you.

Marshall you too are having a horrible time - I am so sorry. I hope they get your pain from the Taxol under control and that your son and mother do better really soon. 

Kimmom

Michelle: I'm sorry for all you are going through. I don't know how you do it. The strong women on this board make me be stronger and I want to thank you all for that. Your boyfriend sounds wonderful, too bad your brother is not grown up. I think everyone should stay here because not everyone is going to get radiation. But there is no reason people can't be on both so they can get the information and support they need on the radiation board. My onco doesn't know yet if I'm going to get rads he has to discuss it with the rad Dr..

ChrisC433

Kimmom:  So sorry for your reaction.  Your first went so smoothly that I figured you'd be fine with Taxol.  I go for my second on Monday.  I wonder why they don't take all 4 of the TX's slow and watch for SE's.  My first went fine too.  Everything went slow and was watched close.  If there is a chance you can still have a bad reaction, why not do all of them the same??  I hope the Taxotere treats you well!

Welcome Kellyless.  Where are you with your treatments?  We are on the same schedule...I have 2nd taxol on Monday.

Hugs out to all...sounds like some need more than others.  Remember, all the crap we are going through only makes us stronger and gives us a much better outlook on life!

 Chris

kim40

Michelle - Sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time with Taxol and family wise.  I hope you onc can give you something for the pain and be able to stay on top of it.

I met with the gyno yesterday about have an ooph.  What a waste of time!!!  I was referred to this gyno through my GP and not my onc so because of this, he wouldn't even talk to me about it because I am now under the care of the Nova Scotia Cancer Clinic!!  I was so frustrated!!!  I told my onc the last time that I was to see him that I had this appt - why didn't  he tell me that this would be a waste of time and that I needed to see a gyno onc!!!! MEN!!!!!

Janet0527

Michelle - It sounds like you have your hands full with family, eh?  Wow.  You can come bitch here any time.  I had to laugh as I read your account, not because it's funny, but the way you describe it is so clear and honest.  I hope your mom is doing well.  As for your brother, well, yeah, no advice on that one.  One thing I'm learning is who amongst my family and friends I can get what kind of support from, and the challenge is to recognize it, and not expect what I'm not going to get.  It's tough when the people you most need to help you just can't.  Try to let it go.  Yeah, that's stupid and almost impossible advice, but that's all I've got.

Taxol - I am freaked out at the prospect of starting Taxol.  Everyone in my onco's office tells me it's easier than AC, blah blah blah, but I keep reading accounts of how much it sucks.  My first Taxol is next Wednesday, and I guess I'll see for myself soon enough.  Yeesh.

TGIF.   I get my blood transfusion today, which I hope will boost my energy, plus I usually have to commute downtown on Fridays, so it's a get out of work free card for today.  Oh, and I booked a massage for this evening... ahhhhhhhhh.

PattiB

Gina - I did do the 5K walk, since it was the weekend before my next chemo, my energy was a little low but not that bad. I was able to "keep up" with my 4 fellow walkers, but definitely beat by the end and my thighs were sore from keeping up a faster pace then I normally walk with my dog.  Took a long nap when we got home and was a "couch potato" for a few days.  If I had had chemo the week prior, proably wouldn't have been able to do the 5K, Phila does have a 1 mile also though and halfway through the 5K I was kind of wishing I did that, but in the end it was great and the thigh pain and tiredness only lasted 2 days.  Depending on the chemo cycle you are on, it is a doable and inspirational "walk".  If it is anything like Phila in Seattle you could probably just go and not do the walks, but be there for the entertainment and speeches and survivor activities.

So glad I am done chemo and Mom of Boys I am definitely following your advise of taking it easy for the next three week as the chemo is still in the system and causing possible SE's.  My Onc and NP said after the 3 weeks should be out of the system and hair may start growing during rads, 1st peach fuzz, then who knows.

Next on my agenda a CAT scan on Monday with Onc Radiologist, then radiation 5 days/week for 6 weeks to start 5/25 or 6/1.  Then appt. with Chemo Onc on 6/24 about Tomoxifin to start 1 week after Rads.  Then follow-up in 6 weeks to check on Tamox SE's.  Woo, even though Chemo over this seems never ending. BUT I do believe in the Power of Positive Thinking that has been expressed by many on the last 2 pages.

 Buddy - you inspire me, continued prayers and well wishes as you are still recuperating from your surgery.

Everyone - Have a great SE minimal/free weekend.

Krista

Kimmom ~ I had the same problem when I did the Taxol.  But mine happened on first treatment.  They said it was an allergic reaction.  I seriously thought I was having a heart attack.  But as soon as I mentioned anything it was like crazy....nurses and the doctor flying over and unhooking me from things and giving me shots and flushing things and restarting things.  I was already scared to death in the first place and crying just b/c I was there and not knowing what to expect and then THAT happens!  Gracious!  But I made it through!  I even pushed myself to go back to work that day....after first treatment.  Yeah I know DUMB!!!  And I wouldn't ever do it again or suggest it to anyone!  But I was determined that I was going to have my way which was to not let it affect my work that much!  Yeah, well that one got straighten out REAL quick!  ha ha!

kim40

Have a great weekend everyone!

And for those of us living in Canada - have a great long weekend!!

Dawnmrn1

Hi Michelle!  So sorry to hear about your troubles!  You have probably heard it a million times, the worst happens to nurses and Doctor's wives!  I've seen it too often, after being a nurse 30 years!!! Good luck and take it one day at a time.  It always comes down to one caregiver!!! Sorry to say you are it, Your boyfriend is a gem, keep him!

Welcome Kellyless! this is a great group, sorry you have to join us!

I finally  got my nerve up and posted a picture, it's me and my wig!!!! Hope everyone is SE free, and has a great weekend!  Dawn

didle20Diane

Good to "see" you Dawn......what a lovely wig   You look wonderful!

hugs

Diane

Janet0527

Dawn - great pic.   Where in NH are you?  I went to college in Hanover (many moons ago - graduated in '85).

crusader1

Hi All.

Away a few days  and so much to read.

Michelle- You do have a lot to handle on your plate. Stay strong..

MOB- Hope you are feeling better...

Buddy- How are you feeling? Any improvement with your condition? You have such a great attitude.

Well one week and one day out of my last chemo I developed laryngitis from out of the blue. This went into a sore throat. I am feeling better today but have real funny taste in my mouth . I guess we feel it is out of our system but these drugs are real powerful .

I recommended this board to a friend who is to have a mastectomy in two weeks. She said she went on it and got scared . Now she says she would not go near this board and doctors have said to stay away from other women telling horror stories. I got so upset with this comment. I said we are not here to scare each other but to get each other thru the chemo. I said what is better than to have women who care how you are doing and getting by. I said I could not have done it without you ladies. I was really upset by her comments. I told her so...

Oh yes I shaved my fuzz off today..I looked at Nioxin in ths store.Does it really do anything to promote hair growth..

Hope all are doing well.

Hugs to all,

Francine

crusader1

Sakura,

What a great photo of you...

You look so pretty..

Francine

arnie

Love the new photos you guys      

 Here's hopin everyone whose had treatment this week is having  few SE's if any...You ladies are Warriors!