Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

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  • Goldfish4884
    Goldfish4884 Member Posts: 75
    edited March 2020

    Love pickleball. Such a great workout and so much fun.

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited March 2020

    We must free ourselves of the hope

    that the sea will ever rest.

    We must learn to sail in high winds.

    - Aristotle Onassis

    Do not pray for easy lives.

    Pray to be stronger men.

    - John F. Kennedy

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited March 2020

    Sounds like an interesting game -- this pickle ball. Also sounds like a bit of a work-out which most of us could use -- some a bit more gentler than others. I'm hoping to get some walking done. It is nice weather to walk outside here around home, but I doubt Dh would do it. He had that test yesterday and since he has so many back issues I think he will feel some of the discomfort longer. So, he won't want to walk anywhere where he couldn't sit down if needed.

    The weather will be good and warm through the week-end which I'm grateful about. I have tons of things to do and the sooner I get started the better. Tonight is taco night and likely we will go. Dh just pretty much hates to miss. He was waiting on a call about his computer this last Wed. so we skipped it. I could skip more than we do, but getting off one night will make going tonight better for me.

    I hope you all have a fantastic Wednesday.

  • Reader425
    Reader425 Member Posts: 653
    edited March 2020

    Great quotes today Illinois lady. Encouraging!

  • carolehalston
    carolehalston Member Posts: 6,887
    edited March 2020

    Taco night sounds good to me, Jackie. I get tired of cooking dinner every night but my diet is so much healthier when I'm the cook. Restaurant food has more salt than our food at home. That's one issue. Another is my lack of discipline in making healthier choices. I love fried shrimp, oysters and thin catfish fillets. Pile them on good poboy bread... Well you see my weakness.

    Sandy has been absent lately. I hope everything is good with her.

    I plan to go to the chair yoga class this afternoon.

  • petite1
    petite1 Member Posts: 1,791
    edited March 2020

    Good morning, Ladies. It is nice and warm, but it is suppose to rain this evening. One of my friend's SO plays pickle ball. I had not heard of it before.

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited March 2020

    Success
    image
    They have achieved success
    who have lived well,
    laughed often, and loved much;
    who have enjoyed the trust of
    pure men and women,
    the respect of intelligent people and
    the love of little children;
    who have filled their niche and accomplished their tasks;
    who have left the world better than they found it
    whether by an improved poppy,
    a perfect poem or a rescued soul;
    who have never lacked appreciation of Earth's beauty
    or failed to express it;
    who have always looked for the best in others and
    given them the best they had;
    whose lives were an inspiration;
    whose memory a benediction.
    image
    --Bessie Anderson Stanley, 1904

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited March 2020

    It is a beautiful day today -- the sun is shining nice and bright. A bit of a breeze so feeling cooler than it is. My kind of spring day. Just to sort of cap that of in a way I got such a surprise this morning. Right around my waistline I suddenly felt some intense itching. So, I though -- hmmm, a spider bite maybe. I went to look -- with a hand held mirror and to my surprise I saw a tick.

    This is not normally tick weather. We have had some really nice days but they have been interspersed with some fairly cold ones too. I had no idea that I should be 'on the lookout ' so soon before steadier warmer weather. Sigh !!! I haven't spent much time in the yard ( though it is less about time and more about where the tick might be ) but am thinking it may have gotten in on one of the indoor/outdoor animals. It must be really hardy to have been out and about in this kind of weather. Dh had to really work to remove it.

    Did Sandy have a trip maybe. She has gone several places and so I may be confused, but it just seems like it to me. Hopefully she will check in soon and we will know.

    Anyway, hope you all have a fantastic day.

  • ChiSandy
    ChiSandy Member Posts: 12,133
    edited March 2020

    I'm fine--just been busy offline & elsewhere online. Just had a major disappointment: the Chi. Bar Assn. (CBA) just canceled our upcoming continuing legal ed. (CLE) trip to San Diego, due to the COVID-19 outbreak (not yet an epidemic in the US but could eventually become a pandemic like the 1918 Spanish & 2010 swine flu). Too many law firms have imposed employee travel bans, and the city of San Diego has declared a state of medical emergency, banning large indoor gatherings and cancelling conventions. (Since the centerpiece of the trip was a seminar on the US-Mexico border and there have been no cases yet in Mexico, the Baja state gov't wants to keep it that way--rather than the US keeping Mexican immigrants out, Mexico wants to keep US tourists out). Cancelled my hotel reservation (hoping the 820,000 HiltonHonors points will be redeposited into our account) and flight--Southwest will not refund to my credit card, only apply the funds to future flights. IMHO, that's playing dirty pool, as that's their normal refund policy anyway--whether you have a valid reason to cancel or cancel on a whim. They made a big deal on their website of a "Coronavirus update" hot link, which simply reiterates their normal policy. Boo, hiss.

    Have been dealing with sunstorms messing with our cable (RCN warned us this could go on till Fri. the 13th), and then satellite woes. (Yes, we have both--DirecTV, which I won as a consolation prize for losing on "Jeopardy" in 1996, which enabled us to get rid of the hated TCI Chicago Cable and comes with HBO & SHO; and cable, which comes bundled with our VOIP phone & internet and comes in handy if there's a "weather-fade" satellite outage or want to watch live TV on a third channel while recording two others). Had the "771" weather-fade code come up on our boxes two weeks ago and had to have the tech come out and "prune" superfluous cables, then readjust our dish and reprogram the boxes. Everything was great...till about 1am Mon. night, when the screen suddenly went black and then the 771 code came up. I spent hours rebooting the boxes, to no avail. Tech came yesterday--and informed us the satellite and dish were fine, but our boxes weren't new enough to handle the software/firmware updates beamed to the dish. They are the newest standalone DVRs, but at two years old their "innards" may not be able to keep up (sort of like how older PCs can't do Windows 10 or older Macs can't run Catalina). He reprogrammed them but warned that it was likely to recur; and told me how I could try to do the reprogramming myself. He gave me a letter with the direct line to repair-tech appointments so I could bypass the infuriating automated system with its patronizing recorded "Many problems can be solved by power-cycling your equipment...have you tried it..here's how..." That stupid message goes several layers deep into the tech-support "tree." He said that eventually we would have to replace the boxes with a whole-house wireless Genie system, but would lose all the content we'd recorded. He suggested we start wading through and watching the content we don't want to lose, until the new Genie II comes out--which will save all recordings to the cloud.

    Meanwhile, had a whole bunch of appts. (MO, PCP, hair, nails, feet, car, DDS) and have some more coming up (Dexascan & mani-pedi next week; eyes, ENT, cat vet the week after). Choir is taking up some time--I photographed the music (we can't take it home with us) and recorded rehearsals in order to woodshed. Everyone else attends services regularly and has been in the choir for years, so they know the songs (except the one I wrote) backwards & forwards. I, OTOH, was last in it back in 1994, with a different cantor, four-part harmony, and challenging (and for me, satisfying) material. I haven't attended services often because of gigs, travel, and Bob wanting to go out to dinner. However, I'm the only one who can read music, much less sight-read. And the other voices are not exactly topnotch. There's another choir, of mainly cancer survivors, that rehearses in Oak Park on a different night and I may look into it, since I don't gig very often any more. (Fewer opportunities and now people skittish about gatherings).

    DDS said my teeth & gums are now "boring." (A good thing). MO is delighted with my weight loss, and says if I really, really want to I can stop letrozole next New Year's Eve (which will be 5 yrs) although she considers 7 yrs the "sweet spot" so long as the AI doesn't negatively impact one's life. (The exception is osteoporosis--the risk of fractures in osteoporotic women rises sharply after 5 yrs; and I'm already osteopenic and had my share of fractures in 2018. If the Dexascan shows some worsening, I will have to go back on semiannual Prolia shots--the MO now prefers it to any form of bisphosphonates). These last 8 lbs are going to take forever to lose--assuming I can lose them. I have a really painful callus on the tip of my L third toe that makes weightbearing exercise difficult--wearing any kind of hose (no matter the size) for more than 4-6 hrs really hurts. All shoes eventually hurt too. There's a deep fissure/blood blister beneath the thickened dead skin, so the podiatrist can file it down only so far without risking infection. If I swim instead, I risk irritation from chlorine (and dissolving the keratin I pay a fortune to have applied to my hair--I have yet to find a watertight bathing cap). I might try the rower, if my back doesn't object. My PCP wants me to take up yoga--even if it means having to be helped up from the floor--and go back to strength training.


  • petite1
    petite1 Member Posts: 1,791
    edited March 2020

    Good morning, ladies. The pending buyer for my mother's house cancelled, but there are 2 back up buyers. Hopefully one of them works out, The estate sale starts today.

  • carolehalston
    carolehalston Member Posts: 6,887
    edited March 2020

    Welcome back, Sandy. Good to catch up on your busy life.

    A beautiful day here today. Starting out cold but warming up to the 60's. I plan to play golf with some of my "oldie" golf friends. My game won't be pretty but it will be nice to spend some time outdoors breathing in all that pollen which will give me the sniffles.

    The coronavirus outbreak and fallout are a good reminder to all of us that we don't know the immediate future.

    Yesterday after the chair yoga class, I enjoyed a visit with two of the women who go to that class regularly.

    Happy Friday.

  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited March 2020

    Petite - my husband just went through an estate sale and selling his mother's house - she passed away in September. The house closed earlier this week - very bittersweet. Good luck with the estate sale and the other offers.

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited March 2020

    Your success and happiness lie in you. External conditions
    are the accidents of life, its outer trappings. The great,
    enduring realities are love of service. Joy is the holy fire that
    keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow. Resolve
    to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible
    host against difficulty.
    image
    Helen Keller

  • CindyNY
    CindyNY Member Posts: 1,022
    edited March 2020

    Petite1- more added stress into your life, best of luck with the other buyers. With my significant other, SO, his mom had sold the house years ago. In assisted living she had little furniture to remove.

    ChiSandy - Southwest at least gives you the option to use it in the future. Frontier Airline tickets although very inexpensive, $116.80 one way back NY to FL for 2 of us, were going to charge us $119 per ticket to change them. SO mom passed and we were pushing them out a week. I said I would just not show up; she indicated it would be bad for a no show (big bro watching us?) and cancelled them. I rebooked online at $39 a ticket, we flew on Tuesday.

  • keywestfan
    keywestfan Member Posts: 338
    edited March 2020

    Trying to figure out when my first year, hopefully, NED, will be. Do you date from diagnosis, for me 2/14/19, lumpectomy, 3/24 with clear margins, reexcision 4/10 for wider margins, end of radiation 5/21? Is there any consensus about this? I think I'm leaning towards 4/10( day after 86th birthday) but I don't really know how people figure out their anniversaries.

    Have been thinking about this because last year we went to Palm Springs on an already scheduled week vacation for a week right after my diagnosis and I was a total shaking wreck. We just got back from a week there now and it felt so wonderful to feel calm and grateful. Such a difference this time as if a year has passed, but not a year NED, unless one dates from diagnosis which doesn't seem quite right

    MO insistently stated that I should take AI for 5 years, no longer. Of course, why would a 90 year old continue to take it? So far, it's been easy enough, very minor, if at all, SE's, but it's also only been 9 mos.

    Sandy,On a much lighter note we've seen Audra MacDonald several times, the last being at Steppenwolf a few years ago, where during intermission she nursed her baby. She is so great. Also, I went to Dominican U, formerly Rosary College, for Library School. Was a librarian for several years, before going to Loyola for my MSW.

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited March 2020

    Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength. -Ralph W. Sockman

    I choose gentleness. Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself. -Max Lucado

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited March 2020

    Keywest, I started counting my time after all my treatments ( lumpectomy, chemo and radiation ) were done. I figured I would only know how NED I might be after testing that started when those things were done. The 5 yr. pill was presented to me as an extra level/layer of protection -- and for that reason didn't need inclusion I felt.

    I finished the radiation in April 2008 so will be starting my 21st. year NED then this oncoming April. Sometimes it seems like yesterday and back then it felt like forever was going on. I worried for yrs. every time it came time to be re-tested, especially when all tests reached the point of only once a yr. But, life goes on and worry only makes wrinkles that are not needed and added stress not wanted. So, I do my best to be grateful for my blessings and try to share ( mostly ) up-lifting quotes and happy talk. To me every day is a holiday and a gift. We don't know what is in store so might as well try and relax, enjoy every sunset and as well every sunrise.

    I hope you continue to do well on your 5 yr. pill. I only had minor issues for the most part and it was well worth it to me for the peace of mind knowing that I was doing all I could protecting myself. We take ( a lot of us anyway ) multivitamins in the hope of making up for a possible lack or lapse in our systems and I looked on that pill as something like that. I could have gone without, but it just seemed I would be all the better for it if I didn't. Noting as well that while 5 yrs. is a long time I was not going to use it forever. Continued NED and wellness to you.

  • keywestfan
    keywestfan Member Posts: 338
    edited March 2020

    Illinois Lady. Thank you for your clarity and wisdom and for being an inspiration. I’ll date NED anniversary 5/21, end of radiation. I see BS in a few weeks and I imagine I’ll be nervous, but that’s just part of all this. See MO every 6 mos, BS every 6, so I think that comes out to being seen every 3 mos. I guess this goes on for the first 2 years. In between appointments, I‘ve turned into this calm, appreciative person who wants nothing except good health for everyone. When I was young, my aunts would give me a dime or a blouse or something and say” use it or wear it in good health.” I thought they were sort of crazy, but now I understand.

    Judy

  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited March 2020

    I don't count NED, but I count from day of Dx. I had my bilat 1 month after Dx so guessing that is when I should consider NED but I also had chemo and rads....

  • petite1
    petite1 Member Posts: 1,791
    edited March 2020

    Good morning, ladies. The estate sale went OK. I think attendance was down, because of coronavirus scare. We did received another over, over asking price. It is bitter sweet, but a form of closure.

  • carolehalston
    carolehalston Member Posts: 6,887
    edited March 2020

    Happy Birthday to me today! I wish Spring Forward hadn't been scheduled for my birthday!

  • MCBaker
    MCBaker Member Posts: 1,555
    edited March 2020

    Happy birthday, Carole!! My list for today includes cleaning the apt and experiment spray-painting my extensive collection of those red plastic Folger's cans; inexpensive home decor and storage. I have always enjoyed the handles. Other than that, it is a quilt-top for the club, using 2 1/2 strips from the "binding-box." Then working on the dolls, making clothes for them-- I was commissioned to use my sister's wedding-dress, but I am so scared of cutting into it.

  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited March 2020

    Happy birthday Carole

  • CindyNY
    CindyNY Member Posts: 1,022
    edited March 2020

    Carole - Happy 🎂 birthday!

    Its a cool 61 & cloudy here in SWFL. But I'm still able to sit on the front lanai with my newspaper, so it's all good.

    Petite1- COVID-19 has put a scare in everyone. It's hard selling off items and the house too. Hoping this buyer pans out and you get a closing date.

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited March 2020

    Whether you know it or not, one of the most important relationships in your life is with your Soul. Will you be kind and loving to your Soul, or will you be harsh and difficult? Many of us unknowingly damage our Souls with our negative attitudes and actions or by simple neglect. By making the relationship with your Soul an important part of your life, however, by honoring it in your daily routine, you give your life greater meaning and substance. Use your experiences--all of them--as opportunities to nourish your Soul! -Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited March 2020

    Happy Birthday Carole. Enjoy your birthday and this no calorie cake.


    https://previews.123rf.com/images/thainoipho/thainoipho1410/thainoipho141000239/32496906-wonderful-birthday-cake.jpg

    Wishing you many, many more.

  • ChiSandy
    ChiSandy Member Posts: 12,133
    edited March 2020

    Happy birthday, Carole!

    It hit a delightful, sunny 66F here today--cracked open the car's sunroof, had coffee out on the deck. I'd grill, but I have leftover carnitas I need to use up. And only now (7pm) is the sun setting.

    I count my cancerversary from the date of diagnosis--when I got the results of the core needle biopsy, i.e., 9/9/15. My PCP says the lipids are manageable on a low-dose statin, so whether I continue my AI past 5 yrs. will likely depend on the results of my DexaScan.

    Speaking of that, the CDC is now recommending the elderly--which it defines as >60 (and the risk of serious COVID-19 doubles after 70)--as well as those with underlying health concerns (do asthma and cancer w/o having had chemo count?) cancel all non-essential medical appointments. Sigh. I first started having that unilateral pulsatile tinnitus in early Jan., and had to wait till 2/26 for an ENT appointment--which because of that funeral in S. Bend I had to reschedule, the earliest date being 3/19. I'm not canceling AGAIN! And the Dexa is this coming Fri. (the 13th), my cat's vet appt. 3/18 (had to wait a month for that), and my next eye exam a week from tomorrow--been squinting at the computer for months now and I know I need to be re-refracted.

    Not just that, we're wondering how safe it will be to attend the Audra McDonald concert, with other people in such close proximity. (Will have to sani-wipe down our seats & armrests before we even remove our coats--no longer safe to check them?--and sit down).

    Union Health (the HMO where Bob works 2 days a week) has cancelled all in-person routine followup appts., making the docs do those by phone or videoconference. Meanwhile, he's at 3 other hospitals (one of them a regional trauma center), so it's only a matter of time before he may get exposed. At 70 he's at twice the risk as is a 60-yr-old. His partner still doesn't know (or isn't saying) whether her bc is in situ or invasive, ductal or lobular, hormone/HER2 neg. or positive, what stage or what grade. She had her MRI a few days ago, but Bob wants to "give her some space" and not ask. If she were just a colleague or even friend, I'd agree--but as her partner he has a right to know what lies ahead for him workload-wise. Having found the tumor as a palpable lump means probably Stage II, full 6-wk rads if lumpectomy or long recovery if mastectomy, and no way she should be around sick patients if she'll have chemo.

    Needless to say, the NYC trip in May is off.

    Pickle ball, chicken foot, dragon boats--BCO'ers seem to have a thing for "animal" games...

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited March 2020
  • Beaverntx
    Beaverntx Member Posts: 3,183
    edited March 2020

    IllinoisLady: Right on!!

  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited March 2020

    Sandy, Asthma is mentioned as a condition which makes you high risk. Lots of gatherings here are being cancelled. The shelter only wants 2 volunteers at a time in the cat spaces, but they're letting the public continue to come in - far more dangerous IMHO. They're thinking they may get an influx and are sending most of the cats already there to foster care. We do keep animals for people in the hospital, so maybe that's their reasoning. I've decided not to go in for the shift with the public but will continue doing laundry in the clinic. There's only 4 people there, so easy to avoid being close.

    I think the concern here is more rational than some other places. People are being cautious and careful, but not really hiding unless they're sick. DH went shopping today at the farmer's market and TJ's. My neice and her husband are sick and they think they were exposed on a plane trip. Nobody wants to test them though. Poor thing, her birthday was Saturday. If they decide ordinary masks are any help, it's easy to make one out of a bandana. Once the tip is folded back in there's 6 layers of fabric do that should at least help.

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