Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Kat333

I did have a family history of breast cancer. My mom and both of her sisters were diagnosed in their 40's. Their mother had died from ovarian cancer at age 43. Genetic testing, done before surgery, came back negative. In the back of my mind had expected to be diagnosed with bc, at some point, but thought after 50's it wasn't going to happen. Was lax about mammos and, pretty much, shocked when diagnosed.

Now the realization that this will be an ongoing issue, with long term meds that can cause side effects, follow ups, etc. You are all managing to do it and I will too. It is just feeling a bit overwhelming.

Kat333

IllinoisLady I appreciate it and your inspiring posts. Hoping for sun, for you, and all of my family that also live in Illinois.

CeliaC

Puffin - Re: selling your house to your neighbor - You have probably already thought of this, but in case not, would recommend you consult with an attorney to handle your house sale. We purchased our house as "for sale by owner", so no realtor was involved, but we did have our lawyer draw up the contract to protect both us and the seller.

Kat333 - Welcome to our thread. Just take things one step at a time!

IllinoisLady

Celia - good advice for Puffin. I had a real estate license, mostly unused, but the minute you said that I thought back to one class which I had which focused on fisbo's ( for sale by owner ) and with an agent/attorney in chg. you avoid missing boxes that should be checked, proper signatures and dates in the right place. Little things that could easily be missed. Also, detailed explanations and proper or agreed upon by both seller and buyer who pays for what and why. Also that would cover pro-rating for partial yrs of tax payments. Some funds go on buyers side -- some on seller's. Good to have someone familiar with legal binding documents.

ETA: Even the best of quite friendly and long time neighbors could feel wronged -- seller or buyer when there isn't a good go-between (attorney ) who can go thru paperwork and help it all be understood at time of property transfer.

IllinoisLady

Kat333 -- I am on the edge ( and it is precious little of it ) of southern Illinois. Looking on a map the little town where I live in Illinois is just about directly across from the river and St. Louis, Missouri. So, I'm about 70-75 miles due east of the city. Born and raised here, but later lived in Detroit, Mi. for 7 yrs. and from there joined my parents who had re-located to Ventura, Ca. Lived in that area for the next 25 yrs. Dad passed away in 96' and my Mom moved back here and Dh and I soon followed.

Our little town has shrunk. Just under 15,000 people when we moved here in 97' and its down to 13,000. It is a retirement community mainly. Not a lot of work here but from here to many other areas including St. Louis there is a lot of work for the younger people.

Stellawt57

Windysea22, due to some additional preventative procedures I had over the this past summer my Dr. referred me to a genetics counselor. This was 8 months after my cancer diagnosis & lumpectomy. My Blue Cross covered my costs, I paid $150, the bill was $1500+. When I met with the counselor & we reviewed my family history, I met the NCCN criteria needed. My counselor explained the criteria to me & her office would get prior authorization from them & they approved. From what you shared about your family history, I was anticipate they would cover you! My best to you. Please let me know hoe things go for you. Hugs

kathindc

Windysea, I chose BMX over lumpectomy with no recon. I’m with BC/BS. There was no problem with them paying for it. I am very fair skinned and wanted to avoid any burning that could develop and chose not to take an AI. But that is me and we each have our reasons for our decisions. I also live flat which I find very liberating.

IllinoisLady

Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest. . . . whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are of good report, think on these things; these things do, and the God of peace shall be with you. - Elizabeth Clinton

MCBaker

Illinois Lady, that is a paraphrase of Philippians 4:8.

"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." New American Standard.

IllinoisLady

MCBaker, thank you. I'm glad to hear where this originated. I was feeling some nudge the minute I saw it. Coming from the word whatsoever which was repeated. I also thought of it as having something of the essence of the Commandments which gave me more appreciation for it. Glad I chose it.

windysea22

GREAT NEWS! I had my oncologist appt today, and I don't know her well, so was unsure about her reaction to my request for a double mastectomy.

My oncologist completely agrees with my decision, for all the quite logical reasons I've laid out. If I were younger, or didn't live alone, or had metastatic cancer, I would of course make different choices.

So, next up, the process to get Blue Cross to approve it, which I'll assume will take a while. They will save money in the long run, so there is that.

I did the BRCA tests today for the breast cancer gene. If I do have it, I'll let all those related to me know.

I am happy about this, and have a good feeling about this decision. I'll have a difficult 4 week recovery, but after that, no drugs or radiation or anything else.

Love and thanks to all,

Bev

IllinoisLady

Yay Bev. I suspect a lot of Oncologists would have the same reaction since they too feel ALL the ups and downs of their patients. Most aren't there to judge, but to help us define what we think is really right for us. You already knew. Congradulations.

MCBaker

windysea, so glad you also got affirmation of your gut feeling from your oncologist.

Yes, Mrs. Centralia. Some of the best quotes are echoes of Scripture, and, as Sandy would likely tell us, the best of the NT can be found in Jewish Scripture.

thisiknow

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." (Philippians 4:8 KJV)

That's the verse I tell people to memorize if they want a better night's sleep, and to say it to themselves at bedtime, every night. "Finally, brethern" was surely said by Paul at bedtime, no? Anyway, all those things we're to think-on are...good things. Who can go to sleep thinking about guilt, fear, past failures/disappointments, negatives, etc? ....not to mention it's good to think on good things in the daytime too!

I'm serious about the 'memorize it' part. Just do it!

carolehalston

It's a white foggy world outside. If the sun were able to break through, our temperature would rise to 80 degrees today. We are venturing to the gym.

Bev, so glad that things are moving along for you.

IllinoisLady

It can be tempting to blame others for our loss of direction. We get lots of information about life but little education in life from parents, teachers, and other authority figures, who should know better from their experience. Information is about facts. Education is about wisdom and the knowledge of how to love and survive. But no matter how much advice you get, you are the one who chooses which train to board. As you pass through life, pay attention to the signs and stations; if you don't like the scenery, pull the emergency cord and get off the train. There is no other conductor in charge. There is no one who needs to give you permission to transfer. This is your life. Your journey. Your trip to conduct.

petite1

Windysea22, I have BlueCross Medicare Advantage and it covered mine. It has to be their in network provider.

IllinoisLady

Fog this a.m., but otherwise it turned out to be a nice day. Hoping the next two or three will be okay as well. We go to Marion V.A. tomorrow. Dh needs and X-ray and I'm going to see the Audiologist. Have to go on the 23rd. ( about a week from tomorrow ) as well, but couldn't do everything that needs doing on one day -- drat.

I'm thankful though for the sunny day today I hope we have couple more. I hope all of you had sunny days today as well.

IllinoisLady

Once you know with abundant certainty that nothing can trouble you but your own imagination, you come to disregard your desires and fears, concepts and ideas, and live by truth alone. -Nisargadatta

IllinoisLady

Foggy again this a.m. but will get up to the mid 50's. Going to Marion this morning for Dh's x-ray and I will get my hearing aids looked at. They have been a bit troublesome lately and I'm hoping a simple re-adjustment ( they are set at a higher level ) is all that it will take. Have to return in a week for the Pulmonologist but I'm thinking that will be fine. Just something of an annoyance, but I need to do these things so I can be ready for my yearly Medicare physical. That will include now a CT every yr. Had I not had the serious broken arm incident -- these things that turned up with the CT for that would not have been discovered -- so that is my blessing from the broken arm. I think I mentioned -- I don't have to return to Evansville since my last visit of a week ago. I know I am doing well although it is my perception that the Dr. there realized that it is a struggle to get transportation and as I am doing fine he is confident ( did say to come back if I had any issues at all ) that he can release me.

So it is going to be a good day and I'm sure plenty of sun once the fog dissipates. I hope you are all doing well and that all of you as well will have some sun to enjoy. We are getting ( a bit early I think ) some bursts of spring-like temps. but they don't have a consistent quality. Still I appreciate the views.

ChiSandy

I'm overdue for my Medicare "wellness visit." I'm seeing my MO again in March, but I think my primary would like me to come in by Feb. to re-do my CBC, lipid profile and glucose/a1c to see whether the 14 add'l lbs. I've lost since Oct. have brought down my glucose and LDL-C and brought my HDLs back up. Before letrozole, I had great lipids & glucose and didn't even need to track a1c; my HDLs were in freak-of-nature territory (>90). But letrozole raised my lipid profile, and the statin I was put on jacked my glucose into triple digits and my a1c up as high as 6.3. By Oct., the initial weight loss had taken my a1c back down to 5.8 and lowered my total cholesterol, but also lowered my HDL into the low 60s. I've been mildly anemic off & on for years (usually why I got rejected as a blood donor), even before breast cancer. The weight clinic NP is not happy with 5.8, saying I'm still "pre-diabetic," but my MO and primary are thrilled. Neither of them are bothered by my lipid profile, saying that with my low Framingham score and at my age, I am at greater risk of diabetes than of cardiovascular disease; and if my a1c stays at or below 5.8 I'll be fine. Unfortunately, my fasting glucose still is >100. My mom got Type 2 in her 70s, her mom in her 80s, and my sister had gestational diabetes at 41. So my genes may get me yet.

I did get tested for the BRCA, Chek2 and PALB2 mutations after my lumpectomy when I mentioned to my MO at our initial post-op visit that I'm Ashkenazi Jewish (my surgeon never asked about my ethnicity). At 64, I wasn't on Medicare yet, but my United PPO didn't bat an eyelash and paid 100%. Until I got my results back, I had to put radiation on hold in case I would have to go back in and do a BMX. And we didn't know whether I'd need chemo till my OncotypeDX (also covered 100%) results came in. Fortunately, my OncotypeDX came back "low-risk," my nodes & margins were clean, and I tested negative for the mutations. I had a small (the radiologist said "tiny") tumor in a very large breast (size 38 or 40 I)--"high & outside" at that--and a candidate for the short targeted Canadian partial-breast rads profile, so avoiding radiation was not a priority for me. I don't regret my decision, but what was right for me might not be right for other women. My BFF, who was 70, had extensive multifocal hormone-negative Grade 3 DCIS with comedonecrosis; she was widowed with no desire to date again, and hadn't even worn a bra since she was 35. They don't give chemo for pure DCIS no matter how high-grade, and since she was hormone-negative wouldn't need endocrine therapy. BMX meant no radiation unless >3 of her nodes were positive (none were); so for her, BMX without reconstruction would be the only treatment she'd need. Turns out she had multifocal ADH in the other breast, so she made the right decision for her. (She said it was my cancer--and nagging from my husband, who's her primary care doc & cardiologist--that motivated her to get her first mammogram in >20 years).

I opted for BCBS' 0-deductible Plan F (grandfathered-in, no longer being sold, replaced for new insureds by the lower premium Plan G which does carry a relatively low deductible) and Humana Enhanced Part D (which had the largest formulary of all the plans I checked). I have no interest in an Advantage plan--the only good managed-care experiences I've ever had were when we lived in Seattle and were able to buy into Group Health co-op; and the first 18 years we lived in Chicago when we had Rush-Anchor HMO. The latter's network was limited to Rush-Presbyterian-St. Luke's, its affiliated hospitals and the Anchor outpatient clinics, but Rush is one of the country's top hospitals and all their docs topnotch. It was a true HMO in that the premiums paid for everything--no deductibles or co-pays. Whenever I was hospitalized, each time all I paid for were TV, Starbuck's and the paper. Then Rush sold it first to PruCare, then Unicare, then Wellpoint, and it all went to hell in a handbasket. Because I had a plethora of preexisting conditions, they tried first to get me to drop them and then to cancel me any way they could--misspelling my name, juxtaposing digits in my ID number, entering the wrong diagnostic codes so that my gatekeepers' referrals would be denied, even getting the address of my husband's office (which paid our premiums) wrong so that they missed a quarterly bill. I got the cancellation notice the day we were about to go on a trip--my boss had to get a cashier's check for the delinquent premium and take a taxi to their Loop HQ to reinstate our coverage. By then (1997) our premiums were $18K/quarter and had high co-pays and rising deductibles for everything. We switched to United Healthcare's PPO and never looked back. Had we not, I'd never have been able to get my knees replaced by the best surgeon in town, nor use Evanston Hospital & the NorthShore system for my cancer treatment--neither of them were in Wellpoint's network. I can afford to pay now for my freedom to choose, and do so gladly.

Now for diet--I'm stuck at about 158 lbs., but at least I'm down to a size 1.5 jeans and 1 in everything else at Chico's--and M (10-12) everywhere else. (Started out at size 18/20 or 2X, and Chico's size 3 or even 4). I might not make it as far as my self-declared goal of 150, but might just be happy with keeping my BMI below 29 for now. I have my next weigh-in four weeks from now, so we'll see what the NP says. One of my other docs says some of my stubborn bulk and weight may actually be loose skin--but I frickin' HATE shapewear, especially Spanx, so I'm still a bit wary of tight-fitting clothes that display the contours of my "muffin top." But more & more, I'm finding fit isn't enough if a garment isn't also flattering--and that often turns out to be curve-hugging. Seems like only yesterday I was dressing in flowing tunics, wide-leg knit pants & "swing" cardigan jackets to hide the weight; now I love those cute little short jean and "scuba" zip jackets, skinny jeans and tees. I have gone from "plus" to truly "petite." My even shorter (4'11") mom went from a size 16 down to 6 after she got diagnosed with diverticulosis and her doctor told her to "stop eating junk;" she became a clotheshorse in her final few years (if she could have moved into the Boca Town Center mall, she would have).

Once I've maintained my eventual goal weight for at least a year, I'll start thinking about loose-skin-removal surgery--if only for relief of intertrigo (skin fold yeast infections, TMI, I know)--and getting my big droopy L boob reduced and lifted to match my R (which the lumpectomy actually made rounder and perkier). Both will be covered by Medicare--the breast reduction for symmetry, upper back pain relief and less underbust intertrigo; the skin removal for prevention of those yeast infections. But right now I don't want to put aside enough idle time to recuperate from discretionary (i.e., less necessary than elective) surgery.

ChiSandy

Oh, and we lost our beloved big-leaf maple tree out front in the "parkway" yesterday. It sustained damage in a microburst and another windstorm; I had called the city last spring to get them to come out and cut off one large snapped-off limb (actually an auxiliary trunk) that looked dead and another that had broken and was dangling precariously. They finally came out. First, they sawed off those limbs, which shattered like china on the sidewalk; and then discovered that despite the leafy green canopy (that lasted till mid-November), the trunk was dead and hollow all the way down to 3' off the ground. When they cut it down, it too shattered. I put in for a new tree, preferably a maple or sycamore. (I'd really like some type of conifer evergreen, but it's not native to Chicagoland--we're too far north and south; and would stick out like a sore thumb among the other parkway trees, which are all deciduous). They can't guarantee what we'll get (might get either an oak or elm), nor whether they'll be out here to plant during the Apr-Oct. season. We will likely pay an arm & a leg to cool the house this summer, but on the bright side our lawn will get more sun and we may even be able to grow flowers other than hostas. We do have a 20' arborvitae white cedar on the front lawn, next to our window--but it's on our property. Except for private property and the few Scotch pines the city planted in parts of Lincoln Park (the 5-mile-long north lakefront park, not the neighborhood), all Chicago's trees are deciduous. (Infuriatingly, the giant ailanthus--"tree of Heaven" aka "ghetto palm," a weed tree which makes heavy stinky green pollen that smells like dog pee every summer--out back by the alley is alive & well; and it's 100% on our property so the city won't touch it).

(At least we can now tell taxi & rideshare drivers, "it's the house without a tree").

petite1

ChiSandy, I know what you are talking about. My surgical side is firm and the right side droops. Right after surgery the left looked tiny as it was when I was 12. As it has healed and post radiation, it has filled out. If it wasn't for the hugh scar, it would look pretty good.

My dermatologist did put me on the cream for precancerous spots. Day one was OK with some itching. I have my MO visit today.

carolehalston

The internet has been out for two days so I have to use my cell phone to read forum posts. What an inconvenience!

It’s foggy again this morning. Yesterday the temperature climbed to 80 degrees. Too wet for golf so I’m going to the gym every day. Yesterday I went to a Pilates class.

This afternoon I have an appointment to have my eyes checked. Have decided to try progressive lenses glasses. Some people like them. Others don’t.

Have a good....whatever the day is

IllinoisLady

Introspection enables one to be free from the influence of negativity. Introspection means the desire to be good. Introspection brings the ability to look within and see the true self in the mirror of the heart, thus enabling one to activate the inner spirituality. Then all effort made will be towards activating this inherent goodness. And slowly one finds that the behavior associated with negative traits are no more expressed, as they begin to lose their hold. When I am able to introspect and look within, I can find the goodness that is there within me. Because of this, I naturally am free from expectations from others that they should recognize my goodness or consider me good. Instead I find myself content with what I am and continue to bring out the best from within me. I continue to learn from all situations and experience progress. -Brahma Kumaris

MinusTwo

Carole - I love progressive lenses - but it definitely IS an adjustment. I miss them since my cataract surgery.

IllinoisLady

Carole, it may take a couple of weeks or so to get used to progressives. I've had them since I started wearing glasses many yrs. ago. A couple of my friends decided on them and they both said just about when they were ready to pull their hair out magically it all settled into place. I hope if troublesome at all things will settle easily for you just as it did for my friends. I obviously have a bias for them, but it is not a bad one to have. At the time I got mine I thought I was too young to have glasses with the 'half' moon on the bottom of the lenses -- so I just went with what seemed at the time much easier.

We have a nice sun out today, but it won't warm much. I tolerate colder weather best when their is a nice sun to buffer it just a bit. Don't have huge plans for today, but plenty to do. I hope you are all going to have a really good day and plenty of sun.

Where is Chevy ???

Wren44

Carole, I got progressives because the line between distance and close seemed always to be where I needed to see for my next step when hiking. It didn't take me long to adjust. I went back to lined and then back to progressives with very little adjustment. I hope your adjustment is as easy as mine.

We're back to normal weather today. Some sun this morning with scattered rain showers expected this afternoon. Yesterday was strange with temp of 39 and snow blowing sideways. All gone today thank goodness. Snow is pretty for a day or two, then it should go back to the mountains where it belongs.

IllinoisLady

The place to take the test of a man is not the forum or field, not the marketplace or the amen corner, but at his own fireside. There he lays aside his mask and you may judge whether he is imp or angel, king or cur, hero or humbug. I care not what the world says of him, whether it crown him with bays or pelt him with eggs; I care never a copper what his reputation or religion may be; if his babes dread his homecoming and his better half has to swallow her heart every time she asks him for a five dollar bill, he's a fraud of the first water, even though he prays night and morn until he is black in the face, and howls hallelujah until he shakes the eternal hills. But if his children rush to the front gate meet him, and love's own sunshine illumines the face of his wife when she hears his footsteps, you may take it for granted that he is true gold, for his home's a heaven and the humbug never got that close to the great white throne of God. -William Cowper Brann

IllinoisLady

No sun today -- could have some rain that freezes, but this is the St. Louis forecast and often we do not get exactly what they do. It is close enough, at times. Even still, hopefully it will not happen till this afternoon when any running is done. Tomorrow it will warm enough that any ice or even snow should be well on its way out and so not an issue. Just more of are " you can't be sure this time of year" kind of weather pattern.

Hope your Internet is back Carole. We have had those issues lately, a couple of times, but hope we are in the clear. We don't have any other way to deal with outages and are hostage till we get service back.

Hope you will all have a good Friday.