ROLL CALL - WHO'S A SINGLE SURVIVOR?

Jaybird627

Shan, I hope this isn't too weird but look upon that young man as a blessing in disguise. (like, he was meant to father your child and now be gone) You now have a beautiful son who is your main reason to fight. Being a single parent isn't easy but I think it's better than being NO parent! I can't fully explain my thoughts without a looooong paragraph so hopefully you get my point? Yes, men will find you attractive again - as soon as you do yourself. It will happen, trust me.

And Kathi, as for men and their help, as I've gotten older (and somewhat wiser) I've realized that they really DO want to help us and are happy to do so. Enyour your new car!

I think eharmony mostly sucks for women. I haven't had the best of luck there. I am on another dating site and truly have more date options than I can take advantage of. And, I can actually be on it and communicate with men and not pay a dang thing!

shan1171

Kathi - modern technology, you gotta love it.  It's great you take everything in stride and find the positive in it.  I would have been stressed.  Last time I had a flat, I was about 8 1/2 months preg., I did't realize it until I was on the highway, and had to stop at a mom and pop station closest to where I live.  They didn't even have fix-a-flat to get me to a garage, but they had a talky, long-haired fella who hung out and drank coffee every morning.  He was a sweetie, wouldn't take a dime for putting on my spare.  I ended up having to buy a new tire because the rim had mangled my flat, lovely.

I've been thinking about trading my car, because it was kinda one of those impulse buys......aka single/stupid/self-self mode, and once the warrenty is gone, I'll never be able to maintain it (damn Germans!).  The payment is also OUTRAGEOUS!  The kicker is, because I got so screwed on financing, blinded by the sleek, gleaming beast with heated seats, I'm going to end up paying twice what its worth.  Wonder how desperate the dealerships really are?  If they would give a girl a good deal on a loan she's probably upside down on?

I'm thinking sensible Subaru (zero landfill, great crash test rating, dependable and cheap to own).

Mommyhood........the wonder of it all!  How the priorities change.

Susan - I keep saying, I never could find a decent man, I think I'll just concentrate on raising one.  Maybe, just maybe, I'll be up to it someday.  Amazingly enough, all four of my fairly long-term exes (one of 9 years) have called me/wanted to see me/carried on about how great I am and I don't deserve this...........Ha, men!  If I'm so wonderful, they should have treated me better, I would have never left in the first place....yeah, but that would change things.  It's easy to give it the lip service, another thing to live with it day in and day out and be strong enough not to fall apart.  Alot of men don't handle illness very well, they spend too much time denying their mortality to face it!  Poor babies!

The sad thing is, I know why I make the lousy choices.  I had one of those classic "dead beat dads", who was a hardcore, abusive (to my mom, not us) alcoholic to boot.  Basically, from age 6, I grew up at my grandmothers with my two sisters, my mom, and my aunt.  No men in the picture (my mom's dad died when he was 42) and my aunt went to college, moved back in, and taught at a the local high school, never married. After his death,my grandmother sold his business, put herself through college, got her masters and taught shcool, also (with two children and no help from anyone!). I had THREE, independent, kick-ass moms!  Talk about not getting away with anything!  But, I guess it made me a bit jaded about men, even at a young age.  I was raised by 3 women "doing it for themselves".  Anytime I am in a relationship, I also know that my "I can take care of my damn self, I don't reallyyy need you at all" attitude is very off-putting, even if really stems mostly from fear of depending on them and being let down.  Men need to know they are needed to a certain extent.  Oh, well, enough of my self-evaluating.

I have a check-up with my oncologist to day.  I have to brave the big, bad, outside world.  (Did I mention, since tx, I've become a hermit?)  If I just didn't feel like I looked so AWFUL.........so, sick.  I hate the looks, you know those.......

Catch ya later, ladies.  Thanks for the warm welcome, it's nice to talk about something besides my bowel movements for a change! 

KAK

Ladies, I'll tell ya what.  Since being diagnosed with BC, I'm simply unable to get my britches in a twist about non-life-threatening incidents like flat tires.  Plus, I was probably in almost the best possible situation in which to have a flat tire -- in a safe, well-lit public parking lot, not blocking traffic, having a working cell phone & having OnStar & having roadside assistance with my auto insurance & it wasn't cold, rainy or snowy.  And I wasn't at work being unable to drive to my next patient.  So, hey, ya know?  No biggie.  Now, if I'd been 8-1/2 months pregnant like Shan & on a highway & had no way to call anyone, I might have felt very differently!!!

But there are few things in my life that have gobsmacked me like being told I have this bleeping disease, so it kinda puts a lot of little, trifling crap into perspective, doesn't it??

As far as men & relationships go, I could go on at great length about how annoying & disappointing they can be, but I no longer say that it must be my fault for picking the wrong ones.  I mean, we're none of us clairvoyant, are we??  How are you supposed to know what anyone is going to be like when you're first getting to know them?  Plus, guys lie about absolutely everything, especially on online dating services (so do women, but we lie about different things than the men do!!) so you just have to take things with several grains of salt anyway.  But I've actually met several quite nice men in the last decade or so & dated quite a few of them.  And flat tires notwithstanding, I'm just no good really at playing the helpless damsel.  And Jaybird, you're right.  Men really do like to help us damsels.

But we have to act like damsels, and I'm not very good at that.  And I'm not good at that because I had a loving but mentally ill mother & a hard-working, loving dad who drank too much for a most of my childhood.  And I had no sibs to water down the effect of all that.  So, I had to learn to look after myself early on.  It's been quite a learning experience these last several months making myself ask for help & accept help from my girlfriends while I was being treated for BC.   Plus, I think my childhood just wore me out for relationships, so I just don't have the emotional stamina to find the happy medium between putting up with too much & losing my center, or just having no tolerance at all for certain issues that come up that feel like they might disrupt my hard-won sanity.  Does this make any sense?  I'm just grateful that I can afford to be single, & because I love my job & love making art, that I can be happy & fulfilled being single, & that I've got the friends I have.

John Lennon once said "Life is what happens while you're making other plans."  Amen to that.

Jaybird627

Oh, Kathi, I hear you loud and clear! I'm 48 and was a 'Women's Libber' when I was a teenager. Read MS. Magazine from its inception. I've always done things for myself whenever possible so getting BC really threw me for a loop when I actually did have to humble myself and ask for help! It's hard to be an independent woman but also be dependent as men like/want us to be.

I have become more compassionate, though, and while I still don't ask for help readily I will if I need to. I figure the person can always say 'no' and if they don't but want to then that's their problem!

I, too, am worn-out from childhood and from juggling divorced parents and their jabs at each other through me. I have a sister but we were never close, her being my mom's favorite and now they don't talk (haven't for 35 years). I'm no good at relationships because I have no true understanding on how to have a good/healthy one. I'm trying very hard not to screw up my daughter but know that ultimately how I was raised will affect her to a certain degree.

I date younger men because it gives me the control I need. (try to psychoanalyze that!) My daughter is my excuse for not 'getting involved' and it works for now. I'm not especially 'happy' being single but it beats the hell out of being in a bad relationship! So, I'm happy enough for now!

shan1171

Jaybird, I do actually see "the sperm donor" in that light.  He was a real doll, funny, and sweet, just young and screwed up.  It would have been disastrous if he had wanted to be involved. Our relationship was doomed from the get-go, and no way in hell would I have let his irresponsible butt take my yougin' anywhere!  I love my little man so much, and I just hope he doesn't have all these messed up issues about his absentee father when he gets older. 

And you know you date those young ones cause they are hot and full of energy!  HA!  (......at least that's why I did! ) 

Your right Kathi - my last long-term, he's-the-one, wedding bells, and all that jazz fella fooled me good.  At the beginning of our relationship (as my mother later reminded me ) he made me feel sooooo cherished.  That lasted about a year, I hung on because I kept waiting for that to come back, it was so wonderful.  I finally realized it was never reality, just a lure.  What a cad!  He still calls, why do I even talk to him...I'm a glutton.   

But, I feel very blessed to have my iron-clad female support system. We are always there for each other, no matter what.  We may all fall apart, but we help to put each other back together.

Ending on a chemo note, I tried to beat my hair to chase and shaved it on Sun.  I am now losing my stubble, I look like a mangy dog.  The day I REALLY dread is when the eyebrows and eyelashes go.  I have really dominate brows, that is going to be strange.  I'll look like an alien...a sickly alien.  Oh well, life before vanity, right?

Going to try to get some shut-eye.  Wish me luck!

zengrl

I found the lump in may of '03, had a lumpectomy and almost 7 months of chemo. I couldn't stand the thought of rad so I got a bi-lat mast in 04. Alone through it all. No kids, no significant other. I have always been a bit of a loner but now at 43 am still feeling so alone. I had a dream last night of my ex, he was just holding me so tight and it felt so good I was soooo p'od when my cat woke me up!!  I had one stage implants in that were 2 sizes too big and had to wait 4 years to finally have them replaced (sept 08) I got small (a) saline cause I was sure that the silicone was making me feel " off"  well, only 2 months after the surg. the left one has c.c. and is hard, painful and rounder than the right. Does this shit ever end? For 4 years I had these horrid implants that ended up being underfilled as I had my ps remove lots of saline. ( one stage have saline in the centre and silicone surrounding that, a small port in the centre is used to inject saline into every few weeks until the correct size is reached)  So they just kept getting bigger and bigger and more painful and when my ps said " only a few more to go " I just lost it. They were already too big... don't know how you mix up 'A' with "C" but he did. And to boot the  ports were right in the centre.... but an inch away from where nipples would be... so I just longed for the day when I could just throw on a tank top or t shirt. I just can't imagine dating. Haven't in YEARS!!! How do you do it? How do you tell a guy? Please let me know what you say.  

mzmiller99

Your boobs have been bad!  I'm so sorry to hear of your trials and tribulations with them.  I still have the same old saggy boobs that I've had after nursing 4 babies, except one is definitely a mini-me since the partial mast!

I haven't had a hot date since Clinton was in the White House - Bill, not Hillary,  so i don't know how one goes about breaking the news, but I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone here.  You're one of the strong, beautiful, courageous women who chose to share their lives with other strong, beautiful, courageous women!

Have a great weekend!

shan1171

zengrl - that is a nightmare!  I have just started my reconstruction process, expanders were put in when I had bil. mast.  I've had two fills so far.  I must say, after reading these boards I think about how it can go wrong.  Even though I know boobs don't make you a woman, at 37, I couldn't imagine not having something.....

I'm with you on the dating thing, I've never been married, but have a 7 month old.  I don't think I could even begin to balance this bc thing, being a mother, and dating.  The thought of dating makes me feel slightly sick.  Going through all the bs, getting to know you crap, and on top of that, wondering how to tell or when to tell.  Let's face it, men generally seek perfection, as close as they can get, regardless of what kind of person they themselves are.  It is really the rare one that sees you as a  person and truly loves you warts and all.  I've been a fool before, I'm done with that.  I guess if I met a man who could even tempt me, I'd blast him with all my truths, because if he's gonna baulk, I'd just as soon it be at the beginning.

Susan - You are right, we are all in good company here.  It is time we learn to value ourselves and set the bar (and set it high)!

zengrl

MERRY CHRISTMAS LADIES!!!!!

C130sunshine

Hello to all,

I try to get on the site but it is hit and miss for me.  I guess you can add another single to the group.

I turned 40 last month.  Had my first surgery back in March 08....I just finished with treatment  (chemo then radiation) and started Tamoxifen today. 

I am single and never married.  I have been engaged twice but thankfully I "saw the light" and called it off (or I would have been devorced twice).  I also have not had a date for a very very long time......I have a lot of guys that are just friends and will only be firends.  The guys I tend to date (or get engaged to) tend to be either losers or codependents. 

I am a nurse in the Air Force, so I tend to move a lot, usually to places that don't have a lot of guys to choose from (plus it is hard to have a relationship when you consitanly move). 

I might be a nurse but I knew nothing about oncology until my diagnosis/treatment. 

Hope everyone has a great New Years!!!! 

KAK

Hi, C130, nice to see you here, too, on a non-treatment oriented thread!!

Here's to a healthier, happy new year for us all.  Negative tests for everyone, we'll all lose ten pounds (HUH!), our complexions will be dewey and youthful & our retirement accounts will flourish.

Well, I can dream, can't I????

C130sunshine

Sounds like a good dream to me

mzmiller99

Kathi - make room on your pillow!  I'm all over that dream!!

Anonymous

C130sunshine....WELCOME TO THE SINGLES FORUM!!! Sounds like you are truly one of us! What's your nursing specialty? Where are you from, originally?

~Marin

LorenaB

Hi everyone and Happy New Year! 2008 was the suckiest year ever (although meeting all the wonderful ladies on bc.org definitely made it better) so I am counting on 2009 being much, much happier.

Shan, I agree that being a single mom makes dating a whole lot more complicated.  But as the mom of a 7-year-old, I can tell you that the parenting thing does get easier, or at least not quite so exhausting. And of course bc makes it all even more complicated.  With my short fuzzy hair and uniboob I just don't feel all that attractive....

Things are still limping along with my kinda-sorta-dbf. We talk on the phone and see each other every couple of weeks, and about once a month we end up in bed together. I hung out with him and his two daughters on New Year's Eve (my son was with his grandparents) and spent the whole night, which was really lovely all around. We have a rare evening together with no kids tomorrow and I am hoping to get lucky again.  I was just digging around the Mojo thread for the description of a position that someone posted a few months ago -- does anyone remember when or who or where I can find it? I think it's time for me to try something different... to combat the loss of sensation due to the fact that we have to use condoms now (of course I went off the pill as soon as I was diagosed with ER+ bc a year ago).

I hope all the sex talk on this thread doesn't bother anyone. Marin has inspired me to be open with myself about the fact that sexuality is an important part of my life!

Lauren :-)

Anonymous

Hey Lorena! I'll look for the original post describing the position and post it on our (singles) MOJO board. I can highly recommend it!

~Marin

C130sunshine

Hope everyone had a GREAT New Years!!!!!

FitChik - I have worked in a variety of areas (Labor & Delivery, New born nursery, Peds clinic, Air Transports, ER, and Population Health).  I am not really from anywhere......I am a military brat (so I knew what I was getting into when I joined).  I claim Texas....for two reasons.  1.  I lived in Texas the longest and 2. No state income tax.

Bethie1

Jdash-- I personally like the phrase what goes around comes around. The b@$tArd will get his!!! I need words of encouragement, although my family says I'm doing marvelous!! I start chemo Feb 4.  You ladies rock!!! We women are strong!!!!!!!!!! Let's hear it for us girls!!  The men won't cheer for us!!!

dragonfly

Hi,  Name is Debra, I am 54, am single, live on Cape Cod, MA, have 1 son in Arizona, and only 1 really good friend in Maine.  My ex is still involved in my life, but not sure that's the way to go ...  Feel really alone out here, especially after a treatment, so, I appreciate someone having started this thread, thanks!!!

dah0123

Hi Debra,

I am a single survivor, 49 (though have been a surviving single since I was 34), and live in Tewksbury, MA. 

Debbie

Anonymous

   I am not single, but wish I was most days.  I only got married in Dec.2007 when I was 58 years old and that was the first time for marriage ever for me so could I maybe join this group.  I still do things with my girlfriends all the time and don't know what I would do without them....a few of them are married, but several divorced and one a widow......we hang out and bitch about men and laugh and have fun together.....sometimes we do gal outings to someone's condo or go to NYC to see some plays and shop for knockoffs....this Sat. we are going on the one woman's boat.  I think women need other women even if they are married because there are certain things men just cannot understand.  I have had a lot of relationships post BC and found that really boobs are not all that important to men.  I enjoyed my single life and doing things for myself and it is shameful to admit, but my husband knows it, that the reason I got married was for health insurance so I could leave a job I was miserable at and staying with just for health coverage.  My husband really is a good guy and I have known him since I was a teenager , grew up in the same town and used to hang out together and he always had a crush on me and I think was hoping something would come of this more that just co-habitating, but it AIN"T gonna happen.  He's a friend, a pal, but never will be anything more.....I do care about the man and love him as a person, but am not "in love" and I will admit I miss that feeling, although the thought of anything physical with anyone is the last thing I want.  Having no estrogen for many years took care of that for me, plus I figure I had my share so let others enjoy it if that is what they are looking for or need.  Just living with someone is a big adjustment for me....he's retired and content to sit around doing nothing, doesn't care if the dogs destroy furniture, doesn't see why I get upset when he himself breaks things or forgets to give me phone messages from my friends.  I am full of energy or used to be until these past two weeks of chemo.  Anyway, that's about it for me.  There are a lot of good guys out there for those of you who want one......usually when you least expect it, it happens.  I cannot say I was a magnet, but I certainly never lacked for male companionship, it was just that the longer I lived on my own, the more set I got in my ways and the less I put up with and I will admit I find most men stupid....not IQ stupid, but they just do dumb things.  After my husband let a table I had just bought off of Craigslist that was perfect for my Dad's DR and just what I had been looking for, fall out of his truck and broke the leaf off and took the wood down to the grain, he then three weeks later lost a DR chair that I had just had reupholsterd along with the other matching 5 blow out of the back of his truck because he was too lazy to strap them down,  It's things like that that make me want to kill him, insurance or not.  The fact he starts drinking beer at 4:00 every day and cannot remember anything I tell him in the evening and never knows what I am doing even though I have told him, also annoys me.  Maybe I am just a bitch.  And believe me I do bitch.  The odd thing is he doesn't think I am a bitch.  I really think he just likes having someone around for company even though he spends all his time in front of the big TV with CNN on.....I hate the news.  I think he's just one of those guys who feels like being married makes him a whole person or something.  Anyway, it sure is a lot more difficult than I ever thought it would be......in some ways he ,made my life easier, but in other ways it is a lot more difficult.  I know I don't qualify to be part of your group, but the subject on the post caught my eye and reading through your posts made me smile a remember the old days.  I also shuddered at the thoughts of dating, going through that getting to know someone and all the small talk chit chat, but found that after a drink or two or meeting someone and not knowing it was a fixup or that he was interested put me at ease and I would just blab on and on and found a lot of guys were actually very nice if I gave them a chance. There are still a few out there and they are as terrified of dating as women are.  I actually met one in Germany when on a tour  and he was from my home state and thought it was meant to be or something, but that ended horribly as most of them did......the odd thing is I am still friends with most of my exbeaus, but could not co-habitate with them, let alone marry them.  So anyway, that's my tale and what I will say to all of you single women is Enjoy it.  To thine ownself be true and don't ever settle for something unless it is the real thing.  Hope you all do great with your treatments, reconstructions and relationships.   Marybe

dragonfly

Hi Debbie,

 15 years is a long time to be single with cancer .... do you have good supports there in Tewsbury?  I wish I could say that I did, but it is limited to a couple of people and my breast cancer support group.  Are you working?  What do you do?  What do you like to do for fun?

 Debra

LisaSDCA

dah0123 - Debbie, it is so amazing and inspiring that you have a diagnosis date of 1994!!! And you were hormone-negative (probably triple negative as we call it now) and YOUNG. You must have the secret - the immune capacity of an Olympian, or sheer tenacity and grit, or an inability to conceive of bodily compromise, SOMETHING!

I salute you!

Now, Debra - do tell about this little red Corvette you've been tootling around in...

Lisa

dragonfly

Hi Lisa,

Well, its a 1990 convertable, tan top, an automatic, would've preferred a stick shift.  But it is just too cool to have it, don't drive like a maniac in it, but do love taking corners cuz it just hugs the road.  Just had to get it outa my system, if you know what I mean.  Might be turning it in tho' in a year or so for some sort of an RV, my next adventure!!

Debra

Jaybird627

Marybe, I like the way you write! I love your stream-of-thought run-on sentences. Have you ever thought of writing a book?

cheers247

Oh thank goodness I found this thread!!!   I am a 34, divorced for 3 years and not dated since.  I have one son, 17.  I was diagnosed with Inflammatory breast cancer on 4/17/09, I am getting 6mos of chemo, then a double mast & total hyst, then 6 weeks of daily rad and a year of Herceptin.  I am a nurse, and have been on leave from work since chemo started.  Chemo kicks my butt so bad I am in bed for at least a week after, then I feel better just in time for the next round.  From what I have read it is that way for lots of women.  It is so hard, I think I am getting depressed.  I am so glad to have found this forum!!  Much Love, Jessica

Anonymous

   Oh man, I was in the middle of posting a response to you which turned into an epistle.....I just can't help it......and I went to see who you were and it went off into the ozone.  I HATE it when that happens.  Oh guess what dear hubby did......he thinks he has lost all the photos that were on his computer.....half of them ones I took.  I would always tell him, leave them in the camera also so I can make photos from them and he would say oh they are fine in the computer, I can put them on a disc for you......Well, I don't know about that now.  He didn't do it on purpose, but still I am sure it was something that could have been avoided.  Yes, I have thought of writing a book, but never could get it together.....most likely am ADD as my friend who works with diagnosing kids with learning disabilities told me.  She is no doubt right because I am horribly unorganized and get distracted and off onto another line of thought very easily as you have noted, BUT I love my unorganized life even if I do have cancer because it has never ever been boring.  Anyway, my husband bought me a little pink notebook so I can write things when I think of them. like when I am at treatment or my Dad's.....it is very small so I just carry it with me and can also check emails that way when I am not at home.  I had seen one and mentioned that I might want one someday and he ordered one for me.  See, he really is a sweet guy. but he really has no idea as to what would really make me happy.....simple little things like him taking his fosamax.  He is skinny as a rail.....is aroungd 6" and weighs 105 lbs.  He is the one who looks like he has cancer.  After we got married I forced him to have every test known to man.....doesn't have Crones, IBS, not allergic to gluten, nothing obvious, just does not absorb nutrients from his food.....imodium helps, but it is not a real answer just masking sypmtons.  He does have osteoporosis, but will he take the fosamax........Not on your life.  I check every day.....he took one once so what was the point of that.  I ask why and he says, I don't know Marybe. I guess I should take it, but I just don't.  I said fine, one day you will be so  bent over you will be looking at the floor all the time.  His neck bothers him and he is  very very frail.....his little ankles make me want to cry cuz they just look like they can snap.  I get so frustrated with him.......here I am getting poison infused into my body in an attempt to live and he won't even take his fosamax.  It's like he has no respect for his life and I am sure getting drunk every night is not healthy....although he says he isn't drunk.  I told him it is just an escape from reality, but he says it is fun.  He falls asleep in his computer chair which I am sure is not good for his back. This is a tad hypocritical on my part since no one was a bigger lush than me back in the day......boy, did I even love Long Island Iced Teas and went through the B52 phase and Tequilla Sunrises before I became sophisticated and learned to drink scotch after much effort and also came to love wine.  But I just really don't have the desire to drink now, plus I know it is not good for my liver and it's got enough problems.  I do however hope the day will come when I once again enjoy a nice glass of wine with some appetzers that don't take like a rusted can. 

     I find pages that I wrote a long time ago sometimes when I am digging through drawers of things I wrote in the past with the idea of writing a book one day.  Maybe if I do get SS disability and have time on my hands I will do it......I would like to write about cancer, but just not the treatments and side effects.....would like to include the emotions and feelings that go along with it.....plus funny things that happen along the way like not being able to find my wig and it's time to leave for work so I end up wearing a bandana......no one could understand at work why I wouldn't know where my wig was.  To me it's more like Why would I?  I lose things all the time, but have gotten so I never worry even if it's a credit card or my check book because I have learned it is NOT lost, it is just misplaced and it might take a month, but it will turn up.  My wig I found on the mantle that night......a perfectly logical place for it. 

     Right now I need some input for an internet broadcast interview I am going to be a part of in MX the end of this month.....I would like to include just what women with cancer would like to see happen other than the obvious, a cure, or what facts they think should be made known that aren't, etc.  It is a 30 min interview with each woman and although they basically want my story and how cancer has changed my life, I also am doing this because I want to help other people and would like to share as many concerns or input from others on the message board as I can, but so far I have only heard from a few.  Any ideas for me there?

      I saw where you date younger guys.......for many years I did that.....not as much by choice as the fact they seemed to be more available at the time cuz they were still out there, unattached and doing things....also I will admit they were fun.  The youngest one I went with was 12 years younger and that was sort of embarrassing for me, but he didn't look young .  I remember I about croaked when he told me how old he was.  I really never looked my age, but think I do now.  I didn't have many wrinkles until  they took all my estorgen and I just sort of have dried up. But m,aybe it is because I am pushing 60 also.  I tell you, I CANNOT wait to hit 59 1/2 so I can start taking out some of that IRA rollover money I thought I would at times never live to spend.  Cancer certainly does chage your outlook on aging.  Life is such a gift, but we tend to take it for granted, just like health.   

   Thanks for the compliment on my writing.....it just flows out and I do love typing....it is just so calming for me.  Also thank you for emailing.......I was afraid I committed a huge faux pau (sp?) by posting on a single post, but I am tellling you I still feel like I am. I could write a book on dating....Losers I Have Dated  or how I turned Mr.Wonderful into a  Raging Bull....something along those lines.   How long have you been dealing with BC?looks like 4 yrs by your screen name......was that initial or mets?    Marybe

1973vwbus

Good day to everyone. I am Kathi a two year (today) BC Survivor. I am single, no kids I have been in a relationship for 3 years but live in different cities. BC gave me a new outlook at life. I no longer work extreme hours and found that life is more important than my career. I have found great love in making jewelry and just taking a drive and relaxing. 

I have worked to help others that have been diagnosed and are going through the fight of their life.

Keep strong and always find the good in everyday and everything you do.

Kathi

Larry44

You can add me to the list of single survivors.  I am now 5 years NED, no evidence of disease, and plan to keep this status for a long time.

Jaybird627

Yea Larry on 5 years!!!

Yea Kathi on your new (better?) perspective and good luck with the jewelry!

Jessica, cancer tx IS hard but you can do it! Get some meds for your depression if you have to and/or find someone (a professional) to talk to and get some support.