Starting Chemo May 2008

rock

EyesOTex:  You know, I think every so often, you should post-- you don't even have to include any words -- because I just love your picture.  (Ellipses? we cannot give up ellipses! or dashes!  ... though I have the same fears.  Punctuation was one of the first things to go...) 

Re: Inner Tawanas. (noticed how I switched to a colon?)  I am inspired and uplifted by the overall strong vibe of our May group. Then sometimes I wonder, are we holding our shit together a little too well?  Warning, metaphor alert: You know how you have to hold sand loosely in order to hang on to it because if you try to hold it tight it just spills out? Well, somehow that pertains to the way I'm feeling and I wonder if others might feel that way too.  (That is, if my metaphor even made any sense.)

RanD:  Breakfast? Did someone say breakfast? Now why is it that thoughts of "f-o-o-d" hold no appeal but breakfast! Whole 'nother deal.  

RobinK: I just noticed that your dd is EIGHTEEN. Okay. I am going to quit whining right now.

  

It is raining hard here and it sounds beautiful. Though I do think of folks on the Missouri River about now.  

Thank you, everybody. And sleep well. 

robink

Rock: re holding our shit together too well. 

 Earlier this week I posted my melt down (don't remember now if it was on this thread or the taxotere/cytoxan thread).  I had worked very hard on staying positive for me and everyone else but Monday I allowed myself to feel what I've been stuffing inside, allowed myself to speak the words.  It was quite therapeutic.  A dear friend who has been a sounding board for me told me she was glad to hear I had finally gotten pissed off, that it was about time.

I didn't need anyone's permission to fall apart but it sure felt good to have someone give me a pat on the back for being human and vulnerable.  My friend reminded me to keep the big picture in mind, one sucky year that will eventually be behind me, that I am enduring this to assure many wonderful years ahead of me.

where was i going with this????  Oh yeah...it's OK for us to break down but we can't stay down,  we all have futures and wonderful years ahead and must tell ourselves this is doable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lewing

Robink and Rock, it's too weird that you'd post about maybe holding ourselves together too well . . . before coming here, I just posted a similar thought on the "road to hell" thread.  (Note ellipses, I will NEVER give those up.)  I wonder sometimes when the full force of everything that's happened since January is going to hit me. 

Linda

KristyAnn

I do tend to hold myself together too well because I dont think most people would want to hear the crappy side- so I reserve the melt downs and tantrums for people I REALLY trust.

That being said and since I REALLY trust this group- my BIGGEST PO is people who want to know whats going on "Because they are concerned" when I know they are just being nosy! It drives me crazy and I tend to be really stand offish with them or just make something up. The worst case of this was when a band parent helping in the concession stand (who didnt know but I knew someone would tell her once I left the concession stand) then asked me upon my return- Oh, so you have cancer? When I answered yes I got the super chipper -"Well when did this happen?". I was so mad and was in tears before I got away and of course I have not heard from her since so I guess my answered covered all her concern for me!

My other rant is my brother in law- who I had not seen in over 3 years- who HAD to come see us when he heard about the bc. Fortunately the visit was limited to 2 hours in a restaurant BECAUSE I convinced my super social hubby NOT to plan the gathering at our house (Im midcycle and my counts might be low lol) and because I convinced hubby that I would move to my moms house if he invited them to spend the night at our house. He acted like he wanted to make sure he saw me before I died which made me really mad and then he brought one of those stupid junk mail newspaper things that have your name written on them- thought it was a personal thing to him- about some supplement that makes you feel good. Luckily at this point, my husband said- we both feel fine- the only time she doesnt feel good is the week after chemo and thats normal. UGGGGHHHHHHH! I am VERY laid back and easy going and I refer to this man as the only person who can piss me off in less than 5 minutes!

Do I have to delete this?

On my normal brighter note- the gathering this weekend at my house- we are having broccoli and cheese stuffed chicken (dont get too impressed, they are from Omaha steaks and not hand made), but for dessert we are having homemade vanilla ice cream ---- bring the families and come on over! I wont be hosting next weekend- I will be laying in the middle of the chemo roads trying to recover from the chemo train on Thursday!

Kristy 

mominaz

Kristy...MMMMMM that sounds soooo good. Maybe in a few weeks I will be able to try those wonderful things and like them. heehee

Rock...I have a mom story I really want to share, but that will have to be later today. I am in need of a nap. When my dh got up yesterday to get ready to take me to tx, he came back in the bedroom and said"So when did exactly did you get up and clean this morning". I told him how early and how I wanted to wake him up like 10 times to ask him questions but I was good(more like afraid of Mr Grumpy heehee) and did not do so!!!! 

Ok, as for the counts. My office reads them different so I will post this way in case any of you know it like this. Ok this was my last work up for last week.

type       mine        range

WBC      6.6           4.0-11.0

RBC       3.86         3.7-5.40

HGB       11.6         11.5-16.0

Platelet  299           130-450

There is a lot of other stuff on there, but I don't know what they mean. This was the right thread for this right? Maybe it was June. Crap. Ummm opps... My Platelets actually jumped this last week. they where 170 the Wed. before. I did forget to ask about what they would do if they were low. If they would cancel or not. 

Ok, time to lay down.

Love you all.   

mominaz

Oh good, I went back to check this is the right thread!!!! Chemo brain is setting in early or steroids or something.

rock

mominaz, sleep well! i'll prob post later today, but you guys ... you get it, you get it, you get it. and i appreciate it. i would not want to be going through this without you. i am very lucky.

ps Amen to the nosy people. My apt building is pretty good (and i usually just volunteer) but there is one busybody who is dyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyying to get clued in and i, evil evil person that i am, am just stringing her along, breezily pretending that nothing is out of the ordinary (even tho one time i had to swallow a little bit of bile).

otter

As promised, I've edited (well, I've deleted) the contents of this post, having had some time to think about it.  It felt good to be able to vent about something that is really troubling me and will likely get even more complicated as time goes by.  I thank all of you for your patience in listening to my concerns.

Hugs,

otter

EyesOTex

otter, otter, {{{{{otter}}}}}...i, too, have That Mother.  we put my dad in a nursing home the week before i was diagnosed, and he got kicked out for running away right before my bilateral mastectomies.  this monday will be the 1st anniv of his death, which occurred right after we had left to go to maui.  i am pretty wrecked this week.  my mother is very controlling and nagged my dad, too.  she would gag if he messed himself...he couldn't help it...ah, sh*t, it doesn't matter now.   lots of people will tell you that cancer is telling you to take care of yourself.  it's trying to tell me again, i guess, but what can i do, she lives right next to me and my siblings get along less well than i do with her and live 2-3 hours away.  not really an excuse, but...  and yes, she has given up making any decisions except the ones to criticize those made for her.

sorry to be so downer; i'll pop back.  talk about vent.

are you doing ok with the end of treatment blues?  it is a very hard time emotionally.  very.

much love,

dana

oh, rock...doctressssss evil?????

drcrisc

Lots of stuff happening on here...

I like the venting thing - I'm trying to figure out which one to pick...lol.  I'm going to think about since I don't have a lot of time this morning. 

Thanks to everyone about the platelet stuff.  I think it just caught me off guard, I'm one of those people who like structure (hence the reminder to myself in my tag line) and when my "plan" gets thrown off, I do get bent.  (My tag line is also posted in my office window as a reminder for all of us who work in state service.)  I'm digressing...

I don't have anything to add about the "mother thang" except {{{hugs}}} to everyone because I do get that. 

rock

I have been spared the "choice" (it's not a choice, a decision about a rock, a hard place, and under a pile of bricks is just not a choice) of having to set my own life aside for my family or not.  I have three siblings who live a few hours from my parents and my parents (70s, 80) remain very self-reliant. That is not bragging. It is simply stating the reality and recognizing that (my whining aside), I'm incredibly fortunate.

I do not know what I would do if the situation were otherwise. Actually, I suspect I do know. I probably would not set my life aside, not on a long-term basis, anyway.  I spent the first 20 years of my life trying to escape that area.  I could not move back there.  

Until recently, there were two (effectively single) people in my building who are not capable of taking care of themselves but also refused to acknowledge their need for help. Who were they counting on to make sure they had food, medicine, etc.? My wonderful 84-year-old neighbor Pam, which, to be honest, pisses me off.  (Fortunately, one neighbor has since moved into an assisted care setting where she is much happier and less isolated. A second continues to live his Collier-brother existence, but without Pam trekking to the store for him.)

I don't know where I'm going with this. Other than to say the word "patriarchy" probably belongs in this discussion somewhere and I think self-sacrifice is mightily over-rated (helping out? yes. But giving up my happiness/life for another person? hmmmm.  Yeah, I know how bad that makes me sound.) These posts have helped turn a corner, tho. My mom is in a position to still be a mom to me (e.g., travel, comfort). That is an incredible privilege. To be going through this AND to be looking after other people (kids, hubbies, wives, parents)... 

Honest, guys. I apologize. And not just for the rambling.  

ewesterman

Chris---so, so sorry for the setback on the platelets and the aggrivation that arrived with it. I am learning that we will all go through this as we journey. Just know, I am sorry. To be stupid, the other day, I was driving down the freeway thinking about all of you and the bloodwork stuff and I saw this cuticle hanging off my fingernail...okay, go into the Gilda Radner Rosanne Rosanna Danna voice now if you're old enough to remember...and I thought, HEY if I pull that off and let it bleed, I'll know if my platelets are good for chemo tomorrow. My dh was out of town with all of hte clippers in his dub kit so that's why the cuticle was there to begin with...so I went for it. I pulled it and watched it bleed and it stopped and I decided I could go to chemo that my bloodcounts would be okay which they were for that chemo. But what if it hadn't have been okay? What if I pulled it off then blood gushed out of my cuticle vein and I caused an accident on the freeway and the headline said, "Breast Cancer Patient (victim? suvivor? journeywoman? I never know what the hell to call myself) Tries Experiment in Car then kills 4 others and dies herself because of Low Platelets" That would have given all of us a bad name. Hang in there, Dear Drcrisc....your platelets will come back and they'll be fine. Meanwhile, sorry for the irritation.

Mominaz, 

Next time the steroids kick in at 4 AM, please come over and clean my house. My dining room table is okay, but we have LOTS of hardwood floors. you could have a field day.

EyesoTexas,

It wasn't my port. Mine is fine. But what ever happened with that upside down port anyway? I asked my nurses after I read about it here and they said it was not that uncommon. Maybe that's why you area asking me. Meanwhile, mine if fine and dandy, but I have a year of herceptin as part of this roller coaster ride so I'll be living with it for a long time.

Okay wild women,

Here is the deal. Had chemo on Thursday (third A/C -- only one more to go before next four of Taxol and hercep). Came home and helped my fifteen year old (okay I am lying) I basically did all of this for my fifteen year old...packed him for six weeks in LA....two with friends then on to camp for four weeks in Malibu (poor kid). His bags had to be ready early cause a friend is taking them down so no airplane surcharges. THEN, got sleeping bags, pillow, and packed for eleven-year-old and fifteen-year-old and mostly me, but I still have a bit more...why? Cause dh is away but now back. He is in charge of food and packing the car as I have no spatial abilities. 

Then our team of 32 walked the Susan Komen Race for the Cure today...some of us ran...I was NOT one of those but those of you who are running through this impress me. We raised more than $9,400 putting us in the top five of family and friends in Seattle. My eleven=year-old raised more than $2,000 on his own. He is amazing. And the walk was very cool. We had people there from work, temple, book club, general good friends and it was very wonderful. PLUS my two cancer bully friends, Dottie and Joanie (it is a term of endearment) were also walking. They are my heroines along with you (and my hero, Wayne, if you every post again).

So, we are off to Lake Roosevelt -- a five and a half hour drive from here tomorrow night after we see Avenue Q. Am I nuts? Yes, but my direct post-chemo has not yet been bad. I think the lower time tends to be Tuesday-Saturday next week and I'll be hanging out on a houseboat with two families we love and hoping to just mellow out. I will be out of touch with you, but thinking of you (and Robin's daughter and Randie's son and daughter-in-law and all of our mothers alive or dead and God bless them all-- even the ones who drive us nuts...it can't be easy watching your kid go through this...did I mention my dad wants me to drive him to Yellowstone Park this summer? Why are you putting yourself through this, he says. I thought you were cured. I thought it wasn't in the nodes....aaargh!

Oh, oh, I rambled. Okay the uncharacteristic thing about me that I will not pull off is that I had no patience before this all began and I have even less patience now and I am scared, sometimes, that my dh will bail out and my kids will hate me because I get so irritable at the end of the day and/or if I am having weird headaches. I am supposed to be learning to have patience and to let things go and to be mellow and I am not there yet and I am so sad about that because I want to learn how to let go of the easy stuff. How's that? Love you all. 

beachmom13

Otter - We have to be sisters - if not in this life in another.  Your mother sounds so much like mine, and your dad is like mine, only mine older.  I don't mind helping them as much as I can, but if I hear from my mother one more time that I hate taking up so much of your time I just might scream.  Right now, on my good days, which are most, I am delighted to help them out - it helps keep my mind off of me and my situation.  My sister is nearby and is more than willing to help out, but her husband has an inoperable brain tumor that he has had treatment for at John Hopkins.  They had to spend 2 months up there at the beginning of the year, and still go at least once a month for appointments.  She has had to take off from work for all of this and they have been wonderful to her.  In the past she has taken off to take my parents during the school year and I do the summers.  Now I have lots of time.  My mom can diagnose anything.  She knows what is wrong with everyone and how to fix it.  ( I got a phone call and totally am lost).  I took my dad for a ct scan today and couldn't get answers from the dr. office why it was needed other than there was a problem with the blood test.  A sweet young thing took care of him and he was certainly perky afterwards - walked without assistance, ate more than I've seen him eat in months - so my mom has decided the ct fix him.  He was just excited about this young girl.

That however is not my gripe.  (I know I'm scattered, sorry)  I might have even said this before.  My step daughter is coming for a visit on Tuesday.  She has been saying she wants to come and visit since January.  We just asked that she not come right after surgery and the weeks I have tx - even gave her all the dates.  My last tx is Wed.  and I have dr. appointments every day next week except Fri.  I refuse to tell her no.  I won't be her excuse for not visiting her dad.  We have never gotten along the best as she feels like I took her dad away from her.  By the way, when he moved here, she was 26, married and lived 2 1/2 hours away from him.  It's not like she couldn't plan around the tx.  She is married, does not work, does not go to school, does not have children.  So, I'll put on my "I'm so glad your here face", but I have warned dh that it's his responsiblity to entertain and feed her, and if I'm feel crappy, keep her away from me.  Crappy = leave me alone to everyone, so don't try to pretend you came to help out.

ewesterman

EyesoTex

You inspired me. Here I go! Hope this is my new avitar. 

rock

Eddie -- YES!!! You look great!  (I am smiling back as I type this.)

Lee -- To say you have a lot on your plate is the understatement of the year. Re: stepd's visit. I posted a similar sentiment but you said it much better: "Crappy = leave me alone to everyone, so don't try to pretend you came to help out."  I hope your energy is good or it otherwise all works out.

ewesterman

You, too, are a beauty.   I challenge the rest of you to post bald.

rock

My (photo from a few weeks ago) avatar is a bit misleading aside from the bald part! Dark circles under the eyes, thinning eyelashes... I look a bit like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons episode where he was mistaken for an alien.  Still, in the spirit of the weekend, the pic will do.

I can tell I have LOADS more energy today than yesterday, though. Am going to go for a walk shortly. 

How are people holding up? 

lewing

Eddie, your post was too funny.  (And your new avatar pic is great.)  When my daughter gets back from her sleepover/movie marathon sometime this afternoon, I'll see about having her snap a pic of me, and then (the real challenge) upload it.  Good bye, Luquillo Beach, hello, Baldy.

A quick report from the Taxotere front, esp. for those of you who are headed in that direction soon.  This is Day 4 for me.  Here's what I've noticed so far:

- None of the spacey/underwater/weirded-out feeling I got after AC.  Some of that may have been from the Emend (which I'm not taking with the Taxotere), but I know from my one Emend-less AC cycle that some of it was from the chemo drugs.

- Nausea seems to be controlled by the Aloxi/Decadron in my pre-chemo drip, plus the oral Decadron (4 mg, twice daily, days -1, 2 and 3).  Haven't had to even think about reaching for the Compazine.

- No burping!

- Not as tired as after AC (though we'll have to see if that continues now that I'm off the Decadron).  I haven't been sleeping particularly well - lots of sweaty nighttime waking - but that was happening before my treatment.  I think it's mainly chemopause making itself felt.

- My tongue started feeling burnt yesterday, and that's continued today (and is a bit worse, I have to say).  I've been doing a lot of salt water swishing.

- Some mild muscle and joint achiness developed yesterday, but nothing terrible.  It actually makes me feel the way I'd normally feel this time of year, as though I'd gardened a bit too enthusiastically.

. . .

One last hair oddity . . . does anyone else have toe knuckle hair?  And has anyone else noticed that it, like our pesky thigh hair, seems impervious to chemo?

Linda

-

familyroks

((((To all of you))))  We really do have an amazing group. 

rock

Linda -- in the "for what it's worth" department. I have had night sweats on and off for YEARS. After A/C #1, I had them about 4-5 nights/week.  But then I started to have acupuncture the day before chemo and . . . I have had exactly ONE night sweat.  Who knows. (I also eliminated spicy food.)

www.haralee.com has some nightgowns, pillowslips that wick well. We're not going to win any "too sexy for my sleepwear" competition, but...

Happy to hear that Taxo-chemo may be better than A/C.   

And YES, we are an amazing group.  

beachmom13

Linda, I too have toe hair, but only on the left foot.  I also seem to have all of my arm hair.

Hope everyone hs a good day.

Lee

ranD

toe hair....lol....who would have thought that we would talk about toe hair.....(doing too many ellipses/ellipsi on purpose coz I am feeling feisty)

I lost the hair under my pits...yippee, but most of my lower leg hair seems to be hanging in.  And I did notice that about half od my arm hair is gone.

Glad to hear that Taxo is going better.  Something to look forward to in July.

WARNING:  VENTING AHEAD

Son update: he's still in the hospital, but the breathing has improved, and now his liver is not doin well.  Turns out they gave him perc for the pain and Celebrex as well which turns out is a really bad idea because together then exceed your tylenol danger level.  Okay so I am officially pissed and I cannot jump on a plane to Germany, so I did the next best thing, I called and talked to his doctor.  Which really po'd me because it turns out that she was just the day nurse who had no idea what was going on and just read from the chart.  Ds is now in hysterics laughing as I am interogating a Lt. Col., but D''''m that is my baby and no one is helping him...lol...ds then tells me that the woman is not very helpful normally and I should call up the night nurse in 2 hours. So, I will be having fun soon.  BTW, he said his enzymes were 450 yesterday and 250 today, if that means anything to any of you.

Whooo, okay done venting about that, my mom has actually been helpful by not nagging in her daily calls.  Not t proud to say, I am happy for called id, makes my life easier.  However, she wants to come out during my tx ad I don;t think I could take her hovering around me and crying when I get chemo, so I decided to ask her to come out during surgery in the fall, that way she can help shuttle kids around.

Hope you all have a great day, its supposed to be in the high 90s again here, so hears to ac!!!

randie

rock

Go, Randie, go! (I'm happy that a guy with blood clots in his lung is able to laugh -- sounds like an apple that does not fall far from the tree!)

Based on my recent experience, in the future, if I have any doubt about whether or not I'm up to a houseguest, I'm saying "Hell no" and sticking to it. I am kicking myself for caving in this weekend. And kicking myself again for when my friend was on her way out the door saying "I'll be back in the city next month!" that I replied "Ummm, lets play it by ear..." rather than  a polite version of "Hell no" (i.e., "Sorry, but I am not up to houseguests" or "I do not want visitors"). 

otter

Rock, I'm confused.  Are you radioactive (re:  your newest avatar)?

otter 

rock

Why, Otter, thank you for noticing! I am actually NOT radioactive at the moment, though I did spend much of Friday and Saturday FEELING like I was just giving off that wonderful chemo aura.  (I can't even describe it without getting queasy all over again.)  And honestly and truly -- while I'm feeling loads better than yesterday -- the avatar resembles me at the moment: Bulgy eyes, long neck, greenish cast, out-of-it!  I couldn't resist.

How are you doing/recovering? Is it starting to feel like chemo might be over, maybe? What is on next on your treatment & recovery horizon?

otter

My goodness, yes, I'm feeling lots better.  I keep counting days--let's see, today is day 19, so my next tx will be this Wednesday...NO IT WON'T!!!  It feels so good to think that whatever SE's are still hanging on will gradually be disappearing and I won't have to go through that cycle again.

I still have a bit of a rash on my left arm, but it's disappearing.  My feet are peeling more than ever, but the redness is subsiding and they don't hurt anymore.  I do have some mild tingling and numbness in the toe pads of my big toes (left especially), but I hardly notice it.  The sinus problem that arrived around day 10 (and day 13 of cycle #3) is still with me; but at least I don't have to worry about my wbc being down anymore, or whether the sinus problem will affect my next tx.  That's a huge relief.  The only thing that is really affecting me is a continuing weakness and exercise intolerance that is almost certainly due to anemia (hemoglobin was already down to ten-point-something right before my last tx).

I feel sort of like I'm coming out of a shell, or out of a forced confinement (imprisonment?), and I don't quite know how to handle "normal" life anymore.  Is there a halfway house for graduating chemo patients?  I don't have that sense that I can't get my act together, as has been described by others.  It's just that I'm a little bit afraid to get out there and resume my normal activities all at once.  I guess I don't have to, though.  We have a trip planned for mid-July to visit my in-laws, including our granddaughter.  That will be my first big adventure post-diagnosis.

As for what's next on my treatment plan, I'm getting off easy.  I don't need rads because I had a mast with clean margins and negative nodes.  Because my IDC was ER+ and HER2-, I don't need Herceptin but I will be on an aromatase inhibitor  for 5 years.  The bottle of Arimidex is in the medicine cabinet; I'm supposed to start taking it this next week.  Despite all the gloom-and-doom stories I've read on the "Hormone Therapy" section, I'm going to be optimistic that, with calcium and Vitamin D and plenty of exercise, I can keep the Arimidex SE's down to a manageable level.  I really need that stuff to buy me those last few percentage points of reduced recurrence risk.

I couldn't decide if you were radioactive, walking through a fog, or had been transformed into an alien.  I'm glad to hear you might be past the nausea, but the greenish cast is a bit troubling.... 

otter 

drcrisc

Eddie - You made me laugh out loud with your reference to Rosanna Rosanna Danna (or I should say snort out loud!).  I have had thoughts like that myself..."what if..."               I always liked Gilda Radner and read her autobiography years ago. Hope your adventure away is good, but you will be missed here.  And I love the new avatar.

Speaking of avatars, Rock, I was also curious about you new one.  Glad to hear it is just a reflection of how you feel and that you haven't become radioactive.

Randie - You tell those doctors to take care of your baby or we might have to visit them with our own army! 

Lee - Just go in your bedroom and close the door.  That should send a message that you are "unavailable" to anyone.  Sheesh.

Linda - Thanks for update on the "Taxotere only" stuff.  I am heading in that direction (eventually). 

I can't remember who's up for next week, except Kristy and me (maybe?!) on Thursday.  Oh, I found a note, Sable's on Thursday also.  I can try to keep track again, if folks want to update me.  However, my dh is on vacation all week and monopolizes our computer when he's home.  Actually, he has a good excuse as he's taking some online courses.  But, I usually have it to myself in the evenings as he works a swing shift.  So my point is, I may be a little behind but will be glad to track dates anyway.

Roxi65229

Hi all,

Sorry I've been out of town on a much needed extended vacation. We had 18 people in one giant beach house. Now I know why we should all avoid the sun. I had SPF 50 and wore a cover up the entire time. I also sat under an umbrella and still managed to get a tan. I think my doctor will yell at me this Tuesday when I go in for my last AC...YEAH!!!! In two weeks I start Taxotere and herceptin. I should finish chemo August 5. So Christine, please add me to Tuesday AC #4. On vacation I wore a ton of scarves but broke out the wig. I'm not completely bald, but have decided to keep the strands as a cushion. The kids all think I look like Billy Ray Cyrus with it on but I think I look more like Kajagoogoo from the 80's. I need to have my hairstylist trim it a bit. Regardless, we all had fun with it on vacation, even the little ones wanted to try it on. Humor is the best medicine!



Roxi

rock

Cris: I am letting you down and I am sorry about that. I simply cannot get my head into the chemo schedules. 

I'm wondering, would people be okay if we just each posted something the day before our chemo saying what we want other people to know?

i.e., "Tomorrow/Wednesday I go in for my 3rd A/C."

I don't want you to be saddled with this. But I'm not in the position to help the way I'd hoped, either.   What do you think, people?  (I don't want to do anything that messes up the good thing we have going for any of us.  Though, lately, I am acutely aware that my on-line behavior has been such that if this thread were a reality television show, I'd have been voted off the island a long time ago.)

rock

Otter: I know that it's not right to be so grateful that you are a couple steps ahead, but I am, I am.  Healing is still a ways away (still more chemo! surgery! rads!) but I am trying to look beyond all this to the place where you are (approaching) now.  J

I am trying to establish and work toward goals now that will serve me well in January 2009, in a year, in 2015, etc.

1.  Calcium and Vitamin D

2.  Exercise

3.  Eating healthy, simply

4.  Making my non-job life as much as a priority as my job life (or something like that). I gotta say, I have so enjoyed spending more time with my friends these past few months! I intend to hang onto that.