Starting Chemo May 2008

rock

It WAS wonderful seeing Linda!  (She is ethereally pretty! Delicate features and gorgeous skin . . . photos are no substitute for The Real Deal.)  And I admit, this was the second time we met.  It was really special, though, to see each other with cancer and chemo behind us.  (Linda, THANK YOU for making the schlep to the UWS. One of these visits, we are going to meet when I'm not so loopy  -= I chalk it up the excitement and plain ol' joy.)

Sue! Happy birthday! And glad your happymoon was honey!  (I know that's not right, but that's how it came out and I kinda like it!) (I leave 1/12 -- a year to the day I found my lump!)

Kerry -- For what it's worth, I def went through a very melancholy period. It did pass (obviously) and I hope yours does too (what is with me and stating the obvious?).  I try to just feel what I'm feeling and not fight it.  Frankly, the other two times I have had to deal with a seriously horrible situation (one of which was something straight out of a low budget horror flick -- w/o blood -- and another that was like a bad made-for-tv movie), I found that my emotions/subsconscious seemed to wait for the worst to pass and for there to be a period of stability before I came unglued. It caught me off guard both times -- why am I falling apart NOW when the crap has been over for months? And then I realized I had answered my own question. Because it was safe to do so. That's MY theory.  (I'd love to know what Cris thinks.)

 Def put me down for the 2010 May Women's reunion. And if you guys meet in pre-Sept 2009   w/o me, know I'll be there in spirit!!  (I looked up air fare to Tasmania a few weeks ago -- no joke. It ain't cheap (obvious statement #3). Put me down for a contribution to the "Bring Lamb to the U.S.")

I leave for home tomorrow.  I thought my flight left in the afternoon and realized not long ago that it leaves in the morning. I have miles to go before I sleep...

Will check in as I can. You guys are in my thoughts and my heart, always. 

Much love, rock

rock

Randie -- I'm thinking of you every single day. xoxox

ewesterman

Angles, happy 45th...I am two and nearly three years older.

Thanks for all of the colon stories. Oof first...colon second. You'd think I could do the oof, colonoscopy and the other breast all in on visit. By the way, they won't even let me herceptize with my oof. Cest la vie. Fly well and safely Rock. Talk to the rest of you on Facebook or soon. Tried to add my hair but a tough photo. I do have eyebrows and eyelashes back. 

rock

I just found out that "Trixie" (the partner of my dear friend and the inspiration for the "Road to Hell" thread) who is picking me up at the airport shaved her head AGAIN.  I feel sick to my stomach.  What a freaking nutball.

rock

Remember my friend's partner who shaved her head and sent me pictures? (See "The Road to Hell.") Well, she is picking me up at the airport tomorrow. And she shaved her head AGAIN. (Yes, she was made aware that I was not thrilled with the first time she shaved.) I feel sick to my stomach. She claims it is just something she likes to do. (as we move into winter in the Midwest? Really?) Whatever. Like she couldn't have waited TWO DAYS and then shaved it. Noooooooo... there has to be a spectacle -- two really tall women who look a lot like men.

The only way I can wrap my head around this in a way that does not make me wanna throttle someone is to consider that maybe she wants to look like (or be) a man. In which case, fine. People have got to be who they are. But her timing makes me think there's something else going on.

I WILL see the humor in this situation. And I do love my friend. I just wasn't planning on the exercise in character-building.

kerry_lamb

Well, I peed my pants again. The world is full of crack-pots Rock, if she 'likes' doing it, she would keep it shaved all the time, and not reserve her pleasure for when she is in her role as airport-shuttle driver. Come on! Besides, I've read enough threads about hair loss to be forming the opinion (after a very scientific statistical analysis, not) that there is not a single gal alive who could enjoy a bald head for real. Not a bloke, either, I bet. I'd be willing to wager my 1/2cm dark undergrowth with 2.5cm freakish grey inter-growth hair on it. No, sadly, it's a female jealousy thang. Thanks for the advice re melancholia..that's exactly what it's about. My post-traumatic stress management systems fail me occasionally but regularly. Exercise is usually my friend in that regard.  Other news is I picked up my first Femara script today and have been gazing balefully at the packet for 4 hours. I guess I will have one at bedtime...feck it all. On a slightly different note, have any of you Taxotere gals had fluid-retention problems post chemo? My legs are a bit swollen and heavy as hell, and I can't wear my rings. Should I go to the doc and get a diuretic? The herbal ones are having no effect. Gosh..what a gloomy post.......I do love you all, especially you RanD. XXX 

rock

It gets better.This morning's email:

"Hey [rock]! Chances are that you're on your way out the door, and probably in a rush to do so....just wanted to give you a heads up (and no pun intended) that although I've been trying to hold off until after you visited, that I JUST ABSOLUTELY HAD TO SHAVE MY HEAD! I know a little of how you feel about this, but I just have issues that make me NEED a change and ridding myself of the hair seems to help......

Didn't want you to be shocked when you saw me. Can't wait to see you at the airport!

 *****
What "issues" do you think have her needing this change?  Head lice? (Pam suggests "escaping brains.")

familyroks

Rock - the very first thought that comes to mind is that this is a person who craves/needs to be the center of attention.   This is an attempt to take attention away from you.  Perhaps a jealousy thing regarding her partner and your friendship bond?  Who knows.  It takes all kinds....  Her strangeness aside, I hope you have a fabulous trip.  Enjoy!

Gracie713

Good Morning!

Rock/Linda, I think it is great that you got to get together for coffee!  I have always wanted to go to NYC.  (Drove through one Sunday on our way to Maine when DH was driving a truck!)  I may have mentioned it before, but I have a cousin who lives there, works as a director of something at Macy's and I'd love to visit him!  As for your friend, my first thought was the same as Adrienne's, trying to draw attention to herself.  I can think of many other ways to do that without shaving off her hair!  Hoping that you have a safe and wonderful trip!  (I laughed at the "escaping brains"!)

Angels--Happy late Birthday!I

The cold and damp weather isn't helping my poor old bones.  Absolutely no energy.  Went to the store with DH yesterday and I was exhausted before we left.  On the plus side, DH made me some great chicken & dumplings when we got home!

Kerry--hope that you are having a better day today-thinking about you!  And RanD--hope you are doing well!

Noelle-Can't imagine how you do all that you do!  You are an amazing woman!

Everyone--have a great Monday!

ewesterman

omg---Rock....I won't even start. What a trippy person whe is . . .

lewing

OK, pix of Rock and me are up on Facebook for anyone who wants to see.  (I'll post them here, too, eventually, but I'm photobucket-challenged.)

Rock, your friend's partner got one thing right: she certainly does have issues.

Kerry, hope the combination of exercise- and puppy-induced endorphins work their magic on those blues.  Belated congrats on FINALLY selling the house.  (As far as persistent Taxotere-induced fluid retention goes, my answer is no, I haven't  experienced any.  But I think I read somewhere that it's one of those lovely things that can linger for a while after treatment is over.)

Linda

kerry_lamb

Rock, I laughed out loud again! Thanks! My suggestion to her is: if the 'issues' escalate (and I suspect they just might.....), perhaps she could shave her eyebrows off. THAT will give her a change alright.  Actually, I support the headlice theory. Nits are embarrassing, you know. (ROFL, ROFL..a bit like EVERYTHING to do with bc....) Anyway, I spent yesterday slothing around, sometimes in bed, and the same today. I just don't want to go to work. So there. I took my first Femara tablet last night..gosh they're little! I thought they would be the size of a pigeon's egg and covered with sour-tasting spikes. That's how I imagined the feckers. The funniest part was that (after 10 days of denial, pig-headedness and belligerence)  I had my hub's heart tablet in the same hand and for one gawd-awful moment thought I had SWALLOWED THE WRONG ONE!! Feck! I won't be taking tablets in 'mood' lighting again! Enjoy your visit, Rock. XX

PS Don't y'all be making any connection between hub's heart tablets and the mood-lighting, either. 

angelsaboveus

Hey gals,

I'm new to the facebook scene, how do i find y'all there ? Is there a name i type in or something?

Forgive my ignorance but never been that clever on the computer !

kerry_lamb

Hi Angels! Ellenoire is your gal for that, but I can offer the following: Set up your Facebook account. Search for Kerry Lamb Tasmania. When I come up, click whatever it is to add me as a friend...I think it says 'send friend request'.  I will accept. That will let you view my page. You can search for all of us and just do the 'add' thing. I was really dumb for a while but I'm getting the hang of it 

ellenoire

Lots to say.. tooo tired. Y'all have been talkative today.

Angels, you can find me on Facebook under Noelle Smith. 

Off to FB to see pics of Linda and Rock!!

sueper13

Kerry, those weren't really "heart tablets" for your hubby, were they?  Were they the ones that have that warning about, um, heart thingies lasting more than four hours? Fess up.....

I had the fluid thing after Taxotere.  It took about TWO MONTHS and then I lost 15 lbs. in about a week and a half.  Still losing slowly, walking, I weigh only four pounds more than when I started chemo.  Getting there and feeling happy.  Is anybody else taking zoloft or effexor for hot flashes?  I have been taking zoloft since I was diagnosed (it's an antidepressant and an OCD drug) and I just realized last night how much happier I feel--like, long-term happier, about everything.  I can't decide if it's the drug or just having cancer and realizing what's important.  And if it is the drug, and it makes me feel happier, why the hell not just take it?  I never took medicine, I was an air traffic controller and if I took a Benadryl I had to allow twelve hours to elapse before I worked airplanes.  I have always felt like I am basically a happy person, I am happily married, but there is just this sweetness now and I am saying what I feel to the people in my life and they are doing the same.  It sounds really weird and I hope this doesn't make anyone feel bad in any way but it occurred to me last night that cancer has some beautiful gifts, as long as we get to survive it!

Anyway that's my ramble.  Eddie, your hair looks great.  Rock, I might have to come and see you in early January--I know it's going to be a crazy time but what would you think about a whirlwind weekend visit and can I sleep on your couch? (How's that for having issues?  That woman is just WEIRD). Count me in for May 2010 and the bringing Lamb to U.S. fund drive.  Actually, we picked out our land when we were in Georgia last week.  It's on a hill beside a 4,000 foot grass runway, and it's going to be a fly-in community (without the pretensions of HOAs, etc.)  And I am building us a front porch, ladies, and if it is there by May 2010, which it should be, that is where I want us to meet.  We will have lots of room, and you can see the east Georgia mountains off the front porch, and there WILL be overstuffed chairs and hammocks and sunsets and wine and cigars and a pool and a hot tub. Who's in?  All you have to do is pay airfare, I will run back and forth to/from Atlanta or Chattanooga airport, you don't need to rent a car unless you just want to, the Smoky Mountains are two hours away if anyone wants a side trip, and I am deadly serious here.  I'm thinking a 3-day retreat for the May Chemoooooooo ladies would be about right. May 2010.  Just pray my house in Texas sells, because the plan is for me to retire in April and us to move over there and start building.  My husband wants a house that looks like the one on "The Walton's".....Hope everybody has a great day and if you read all the way through this post, you're the best pals.

Love you.

Sue

Gracie713

Sue-You can count me in--and I wouldn't even have to worry about airfair!  I can be there in 5-6 hours, no problem!  Love the Smokey Mountains-they are about a 2 1/2 hour drive from where I am.  The mountains in Georgia are beautiful! 

Rock/Linda-the pic of you guys is great!

Angels-you can find me on facebook under Jackie Collins.

Nothing exciting going on here.  Pain is better today, so far.  (And no hot flashes yet)  I may have to ask the doc about the Effexor.  (I can't take Zoloft)  I just really dislike the thought of taking another medication.  

Off to try to get some laundry done-it has reallly piled up!

Hope that everyone has a great day!

ellenoire

too much to say, too much work to do.. I will write later. Siouxie Sue? Yes!!! My dream house has 4 porches.. a roofless deck, a covered porch, a screened in porch and a glassed in solariam porch. All 4 outside walls with a walkout porch, faced to take advantage of solar power and cut back on air conditioning and such....Later m'ladies... my store is thankfully busy today! 

 N

otter

Sue!  I am so glad to hear you're really going to get out of Texas and move back to the SE mountains.  I don't know for sure where you'll end up, but I live less than 2 hours from Atlanta, and less than half a day's drive from Ellijay and Blue Ridge, in north GA.  (MapQuest says it's just 200 miles from here to Ellijay.)

On our boat trip up the Tennessee River to Chattanooga last month, we saw quite a few new homes built in the "Walton" style, tucked up against the mountainsides.  Beautiful!

Oh, and my dh is already jealous of the grass strip.  He took half a day of lessons in a 1947 Piper Cub last summer, learning how to take off and land on a grass strip.  (He has to fulfill his flying urges in other people's planes now.)  He joked that we could fly to your (new) house, if he had a plane...

otter 

Gracie713

Otter-I was in Ellijay this past July when my DIL & Granddaughter were here from China!   Her Mother lives there.  DH's ex lives in Talking Rock. 

Haven't got anything done today-DH went to a friends to butcher a deer, so I am enjoying the peace & quiet!

Sable

Sue~ I'm glad you mentioned the zoloft and such. Doc offered to put me on it for the hotflashes.... some days I think "nah I can handle this" and others I feel like a feckin furnace... and it's cold here! Does it actually help you any? I'm so tempted, but to add more drugs to my system... I am hesitant.

It's about a 10 hour drive for me to get to georgia. I could use a vacation lol

drcrisc

Rock & Linda - Wow.  How cool is that.  Really jealous over here...now I will have to join facebook just to see all the pictures I'm missing.  And nice analysis of Kerry's depressive state, Rock.  I think you were right on.  I had a sobby-mess breakdown for absolutely no obvious reason last week (I was with you Kerry) and I think that it's the same thing.  We are an incredibly strong group of women and just plowed through when we needed to - it's going to catch up to us sometime.  Kerry, I hope it got better!

Happy Belated Birthdays to all the ones I have missed!  And add happy house closing, happy rad finishing and chemooooo! to Gracie! 

Sue - That house sounds delightful and I may ask for that trip for my birthday, since I am a May gal that way, too! 

Otter - Don't get me started on the colonoscopy.  I also have a family history of gastrointestinal issues and was on top of that one, but SUPRISE!  Got bc instead...I had one a couple of years ago and most definitely the prep is the worst part.  I think I had the Go-Lightly and like someone said, there is nothing light about it.  Actually, I was doing fine until I took these 2 pills (as instructed) about halfway through the gallon and the it was like Mt. Vesuvius!  I remember I was watching DVD's and wrapping Christmas presents and the rest is a blur.  But, truly, it is not worse than anything you've already been through.  It will be over before you know it and then you can a huge breakfast.  Love the Dave Barry article on it, BTW.

I've been doing online Christmas shopping for the girls, trying to get some done early because I never know when the fatigue will hit.  Although it's getting better and I am down to 8 more rads and counting!  Last one should be December 2, if the skin and machine both hold up. 

Speaking of fatigue - time for bed.  Glad I checked in...

kerry_lamb

A-w-w-w. My BEST girls! Sue, those tablets are NOT blue and are anti-arithmia..not the kind y'all seem to know a little too much about!  And I have to say, your man and I are psychic twins! WHO WOULDN'T WANT A WALTON'S HOUSE???? Don't all of you forget that the most an Australian girl such as I knows about America comes from songs (and mostly really old ones). Remember..I don't watch TV. Think karaoke...you get the picture..I don't care where we meet, so long as there is: peace, quiet and alcohol. Drew and I are going to Melbourne tomorrow for 4 days. My Dad hasn't seen me conscious for a year, and I know that my phone-reassurances for the last 10 months haven't really been cutting it with him, so a real-life catch-up is going to be awesome. Apart from that, Drew and I are going to have one of those 2nd honeymoon type thangs. Am I happier than my recent posts? Oh yeah! I've been scouring the web ALL YEAR trying to get updates on Nick Cave's Australian tour dates and........HE'S PLAYING IN TASMANIA IN JANUARY AND I HAVE TICKETS!!!! Who gives a flying feck about BC or melancholia when I have gals like you and tickets to NC.??  XXX..... RanD?.....???

Roxi65229

Sue, your place sounds great to me. I'm with Kerry, who cares where we meet as long as we're all there together.

Hang in there Christine, you'll be done in no time with rads. 

Okay, I asked about my mammo and we're waiting 3 months after rads. Puts it out till January. Next week is my last week of ocp. therapy. It's really helped. I still think most of the swelling was from rads.

P.S. Thanks again Jen for the X-Mas list, just got to find the right cards for all gals.

Hugs, Mary 

sueper13

Jen,

It really does help. I was hesitant too, and cut the dosage in half and then half again while I was doing chemo--I was put on this drug for anxiety/obsessive thoughts as soon as I was diagnosed, and thought I should get off it as soon as I could.  So when I told my onc I had decreased the dosage she said, "And how are your hot flashes?" I answered, "You know, now that you mention it, they are horrible."  I didn't even know it was effective for hot flashes until that moment.   It can interfere with Tamoxifen, and there is one antidepressant (Effexor) which interferes less, which I am going to ask my onc about in december. I think it is worth it, but everyone has to make their own choices and decisions. 

Cris, you're almost done!!!! YAY CRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sable

Sue, they offered 2 different ones for me to see if they would work... I might ask about them at my next treatment. I'm tired of feeling older than my age with these hot flashes :O(

ellenoire

Hi m'ladies. I have the energy of my little napping kitten about now.... aka almost none.

She chased her tail and every toy and coin on the floor around the house all day. I chased my staff and customers and paperwork  around the store all day. 

I am EXHAUSTED!!!!!

BF is out of town on business for 2 days in a hotel room this is his text message quote " Holy F room is a suite bigger than your main floor" ...   and later... "2 baths, fireplace and birdcage"...

 and I am home working my ass off why now???? 

my highlight of the day? I talked to KRISTY!!!!!!! She ordered some of my famous bath bombs and told me she hoped they got there b4 surgery( which might have been tomorrow, but isn't now)
 I tracked the order today on UPS.com and it said it had been delivered and said to my staff "ok I'll call and make sure it got there ok" ( and then realised like an idiot, that I have had the ability to call her for weeks since she made another order before...) So, I just called her....she has the cutest politest voice ever! along with the Southern accent (Texan I'm assuming Kristy?) it was adorable!

 I know this is silly, but man it was good to start making even deeper connections.. the pics on FaceBook have been awesome but this was better! I cannot wait to meet y'all. 

 More to say.. later.. I get Sunday and Monday off. I'll talk more then.... my stupid brother finally called...for the first time since February ...he is coming on Sunday to be here to bury mummy's ashes... dumbass. 

 Night night.

Roxi65229

Newsflash.....I Colored my hair, yup! Couldn't handle the gray anymore. I was advised to use semi-permanent since I needed a dark shade. I was freaking out about the whole hair dye can cause cancer of the bladder crap. My onc says nothing has been proven so if it makes you feel good, just do it. I do admit I was a bit leary and used the semi-permanent kind, but the shade is lighter than I'm use too. Looks kinda weird but everyone likes it. Its good for 28 washes. 

As for the hot flashes, mine come and go but aren't that bad.

Did I say how jealous I was for all you gals connecting in some other way via phone, coffee shops etc.? I think its so cool that we found each other just sorry it had to be hear. 

Noelle, hand in there. Your store sounds amazing. Good luck with your service and your bro. 

ellenoire

Send me your phone numbers! I'll call all of you!

See! we do need Skype! 

Gracie713

Good Morning!

Roxi--YEAH on having enough hair to color!  I dream of the day!!!!!

Noelle-Glad that you got to talk to Kristy!  I'm on the jealous train with Roxi.  We really do need Skype.  (I have it, just haven't used it much)  I am so happy that you will be getting a couple of days off--you work way too hard.  

On the subject of stupid brothers--mine was within a few miles of me a few weeks ago--did he call or stop????  NO.  I realize that they were in a hurry to get back home, but he could have stopped for a few minutes.   I would have gladly met him somewhere and he knows this.  Family--really sucks sometimes.  I have gotten more support from all of you here than from 2 of my siblings.  (I do have one sister who calls and emails often, but the conversation is usually about her)  

Have to take DH to the doc today--his nose isn't healing the way it should.  There is swellling now in the other nostril and he says it smells like a dead mouse is up his nose.  (OK--TMI)  

Hoping that everyone is having a great day!  Thinking about RanD and hoping that Rock is having a good time!