Starting chemo Dec 2007

wishiwere

Oh SUZ!  That's all fantastic!  Don't know where to start!  Mostly, that you are ready to put it behind you and start living.  That's the bestest of news and feelings!  You go girl!

So glad the suit is behind you.  Money or not, you time was worth it at the very least. Not to mention the freaking stress all this time!  So glad that's over for you!

The trip sounds very mysterious.  passport, need a swimsuit.....sounds like a great start!   Fill us in as you soon as you figure it out!   Green with envy here!  Good luck suit hunting...the good kind I mean!

joyh

Hi all.

Haven;t posted in so long because this a/c is really getting me down  I have been so sick.  Bed to recliner, recliner to bed.  You all know the drill.

When I went for last chemo,12th, they said my red cell count was 8, should have been in high 30,s.  They gave me a huge shot, could this possibly be the culptrit?  Side effects have been minimal (you know what I mean) but have just felt like crap.  Absolutely no energy, stumbling around like a drunk.Get up every morning with good intentions and hour by hour they fall one by one to the wayside.

Did I tell you my muge three weeks ago came back 70 (same as before A/C) so that meant to Onc I could have the extra two treatments.  I finished one two weeks ago and l have one left on Oct.8. I get an extra week because Onc office is closed last week of Sept.  I am very gratteful for the extra week.

Then on to rads, 35 of them.  I have to drive lhr 15 min. each way so not looking forward that. However it means I will be gettiing towards the end of the tunnel, and I definitely like tha

Siince Dec. I have had 11 chemos, mast. and stresses of the trial.  Really think my body is beginning to rebell.  I have always been so strong and I wonder if I am now asking my body for more than it can do.  Daugher and GD and BIG DOG went to Fl for a few weeks and I am takiing full advantage.  No more biscuits and gravy at 8:00AM.  No more home cooked three meals a day.  GD has only eaten fast food twice.

Believe I am going too have to rest a lot

to get through this next chemo, But I AM DETERMINED to take it.  I want to give myself the best shot I can.

Other than that, life is very boring.  A few neighbors come by but I don't really encourage it.  Just don't feel like visiting.

One other thing, I started Effexor this week and four nights now NO NIGHT SWEATS.  What a miracle. First nights in a year I haven't had to get up and change clothes in the night.

I think of  you all daily.Laura, so glad your hubby is home.  What a difference that  must make  in your  life.  Suz,so glad your surgery went well.  Sal, glad you had  fun in Vegas.  .
Wishiwere, you just keep on making people feel better.  Thanks .  Amy,  hope things are well with you.

Sorry this seemed all about me.  I,m struggling right now, will I ever get my stregth back,  as soon as this is over will I get another recurrence, (19 out of 22 nodes posiitive)  Will I ever just feel happy again?  Maybe the  effexor will help in a few more days.

Something good happened today.  The opposiing attry. subpeonaed all our tax records from our acct. He callled her and said we had already sent them.  She said "send again". He came by the house this afternoon with everything down all neatly put together ready to mail.  I said how much do we owe you and he said "nothing".  Wasn't that nice?  I expected at  least $500.

DH has crashed on the couch, all three chihuahuas  have found a place to sleep, so think I will join them. Susiz of course will joiin me in the big bed.  We fight over the heatiing pad, but she only weights 5lb. so it is not much of a battle.

If you don't hear from me, know I am struggliing through the last chemo. Think of me and hopefully I will soon join the ranks of the exercising, traveling, living life eating, drinkng and just having fun with the rest of you. I can't wait .

Joy

wishiwere

Oh {{{Joy}}} You know each of us are keeping you close in thoughts and prayers always.  It's good to hear from you, but not so good the SE's you're having.  I'm glad you have the reprieve of an extra week and no Bisuits and gravy LOL.  Sounds horrible to start the day with that!

I'm glad you are doing the effexor, let us know how that is working too.  I did the A/C last winter and yes, it gets you depressed I think.  But I really wondered when going through it, if it wasn't the decadron (steroid) rather than chemo that put in depression. Had an awful time, about day 3-5, or somewhere in there.  Would just hit me like a ton of bricks out of nowhere.  Then would lift, but dang, that day or two and towards the end it was longer was miserable.  Didn't want to see or talk to anyone.  Including family.  Dh would worry when he was gone, so finally i had to just text him to not mind me a couple days and let wallow....it helped, but...I know where you are there.

Keep up with as much protein as you can muster to keep those red counts up, K?  We're here when you need, or pm, and I'll send my email or phone # if you want, to just talk, wallow or rant...All ears dear!  Hang in there....3 weeks left!

bibliowarrior

Joy, so glad to hear from you. I just wish things were going easier for you. But I am thrilled to hear you have one more tx to go. October 8th... *making mental note*... finish line number one. And then rads? Jeepers. Someone hit the fast-forward button for this girl. Man oh man. But you're still plugging away... look at you! I am so proud of you... you are so strong! Through all the crap you've been through, you're still moving forward. What a warrior you are!!

Suz, Sounds like a rough couple of days last week. I'm glad the techs took pity on you and gave some info off the record. Man, you must feel spent... like you say, you're trying to do the smart thing by having the preventative surgery so you don't have to worry about more cancer crap. Well, you are looking like a hero to me: "In spite of it all, Suz is getting the job done!" Can't keep a good woman down. Can't wait to hear where your anniversary trip will be. Congratulations, belated. 20 is a big one!!

Gotta scoot. I'm doing a walk-a-thon for the local Children's Cancer Program this morning. A friend asked me to join her team. How can you say no? I have even more respect for kids who have to go through the cancer scenario, now that I've been there.

But want to leave on a non-cancer note... hmmmm, lemme think. Oh, I know. I've been watching the 1st season of Heroes on DVD. I'm about half-way through. Aside from the gory parts (I'm a wimp), I'm really enjoying it. I love comic books, so I can totally see the influence.

Big hugs to everyone!!

Love, Sal 

beasgirl

Hey you lovely ladies.

Joy. What you are doing is SO HARD, and you are doing it!! that last treatment is coming soon, and once that is behind you for a few weeks, you will start to feel better. This stuff is AWFUL. You WILL get your strength back when you are finished--you will be amazed. I always thought of myself as a strong person, too, physically, and my *low dose* kicked my ass so hard I was totally questioning that assesment. The kind of strength it takes to do this is a totally different kind of strength, like, the strength it takes to be weak, almost, to surrender, and to trust. Anyway, I am thinking of you, often, and sending you hugs and wishing for all the comfort you can manage.

Suz, I'm sorry I missed your message back there when you were feeling blue--I forget that I'm not completely keeping track of you on facebook--you seemed fine! I'm glad you got through your low moments, but I wish I coulda given you a cyber-squeeze.  I'm glad you're feeling better and you made it through all your stupid appointments. I think we are all going to discover how much we are repressing these worries as we go in for these kind of appointments!! Anyway, you're such a hot mama, with your swim-suit addiction. I have more of a swim suit phobia. I need a swim suit that completely covers me from the waist down. Like a mermaid suit, maybe. That would be a look.

Laura, every time I think of you and your hubby doing projects around the house, I get a warm glow. It's like the happy ending in a movie. I hope the winter isn't too rough on his southern soul--I know it gets to me, and I grew up a Northern girl.

Sal. How's it going? Thanks for doing the walk-a-thon. I can't even really bring myself to think too hard about kids going through cancer stuff, as a mom, and a cancer survivor, butit's wonderful that  you're doing something to help them.And...glad you like Heroes--I've been planning to do the same thing with that one, since I missed the beginning of it. That's how we've watched Lost, and it's awesome (though cheezy in so many ways that I'm totally aware of). Enjoy--maybe I'll join you soon.

wiw, you are just the nicest lady. 

love to all--A

suz45

Hello my friends,

Joy Hang in there and let your body rest. I cant even begin to imagine how difficult this all is. Im wrapping you in the most caring hugs, energy and prayers. Be good to you, and hopefully soon you will feel better. Much love gal.

I dont have a lot of energy right now, but Im so happy to here everyone seems to be getting better. That is so goodt to here!

I just got the dreaded call and I will have to go in for a mri directed core biopsy on the right side. I so thought that I was done with that for now. Sigh I feel guilty about being upset over such a small thing, But I just want to start feeling better again. I will do what I have to do and should be thankfull Im getting the care that I am. Thanks again for the ear.

Love and hugs to you all, Suz

beasgirl

Suz, CRAP! I'm so sorry you're having to do more of this. When is the biopsy? Here's a whole lotta hoping it's a whole lotta nothing.

love!! A

wishiwere

Oh Sh*T {{{{{SUZ}}}}} Dang it all!  So sorry you are dealing with this fear again!  DARN IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This danged disease be damned!

When is the MRI being done? Had one, and remember...they can be B9, even though they are concerned, it might be be/c you've got the history and they are just being thorough, K?  Keep the faith, and we'll keep the prayers, the best of thougths and be there with you, extending that hand over your head with you while you in that MRI, right there with you!  Humming in your ear!  B9, B9, B9!!!!  Hang tough sweetie!

joyh

hanks, WIW, Suz, Sal and Amy.  I am feeling better, just oh so tired.  Last one next Tues, then on to rads.  Suz, sorry you got the call back.  Please let us know.  Amy, you described so well how I feel.  I think I have just given into it, don' t even try to do too much anymore.  After treatment I will  get caught up on everything. It is so hard to get used to, I used to have SO much energy.

We got really bad news this week.  My dear sweet MIL who has been here from Fl. so many times to help me out was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer.  She has always had regular check ups so don't know how this happened.  It is in both ovaries, grown into spleen, and the pet scan lit up all over the place.  Her surgery in Mon. AM, She will be in hospital seven days, and will begin chemo before she leaves hospital. Dont' guess we will know how bad until after surgery.  Forgot to mention tumor is touching pancreas.  She was planning a surprise visit this week to help me through last chem.  Her gyn was retiring Sept. 30, so she decided one last check up before she had to change drs. Thank god she went when she did.  No symptons whatsoever. She is the cutest little thing, 5 feet tall and 101 pounds and dresses always like a million  dollars.  She told me she really dressed up for her meeting with surgeon yesterday, so he would know she wanted to live.  She said the nurse asked her "Honey, are you sick?"  Anyway I am asking for your prayers for Elizabeth.  We sure do need her.

Thanks and God Bless

Joy 

wishiwere

Oh {{{{{JOY}}}}}} I'm so sorry to hear about your MIL....Please know she is in my prayers and thoughts.  Dang this stuff (Ca) is just at every turn.  Hon, so sorry..as you get through your journey, hers' begins.  So hopeful they are wrong with their prog!  Darn it!

I am glad you are letting the weariness run it's course.  No reason to fight it, when you can't do anything to lessen it.  So hard to understand how we can feel good one minute and exhausted the next....Keeping you all (family) in our thoughts and prayers.  Keep us posted hon.  We do worry about you and now your dmil too.

suz45

Afternoon All,

Hope everyone is well. Just a quick note... I'm doing the cibc run for the cure on Sunday. Its a 5km run/walk, but I think if I take it slow Ill be ok. Ive just gotten myself back up to 2km comfortably since surgery, but thats along with a bit of a physical day. LOL luckily its not a race so I should be ok.

Have also gotten my mri with core biopsy date, that will be on Oct 9th. They are going to send me straight from there to mammogram... hmmmm sounds like a bit of a torture test. Anyway not gonna worry about it, as it is what it is.

Big hugs to all, Suz

wishiwere

Is the trip to the mammo to check the placement of the clip they insert?  I'm assuming, only b/c that's why they did one on me after the MRI core Bx.  {{{SUZ}}} so darn hoping it comes back B9 darn it!  It has to!  Just remember we'll be extending our hearts and hands while you are on that table, holding on and chanting that B9, B9, B9!  Hate that you have to go through this worry....just NOT right!  Hang in there girl....we're right there with you, k?

bibliowarrior

Man, sounds like a rough week for you ladies. Joy, I am so sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. I'll keep her in my prayers, as well as your family... this must be such a kick when your family is already down, geesh.

And Suz, I'm hoping WIW is right... maybe the techs are just being super-cautious since you're just recovering from a bout with cancer.

So Tuesday is Joy's last tx, and Thursday is Suz's MRI. Got it. Super-duper prayers, well-wishes and positive thoughts will be flying all over on those days, ladies!

I had my 6-month check-up this week. Family/friends all ask "So what did they say?" and I know they want me to tell them that I had some sort of test that says I'm all cured; but I explain, that's not the way it works. I just tell them, so far, so good.

My periods haven't started back up, so we're thinking my body went into early menopause. My onc said to give it another 6 months, and if they still haven't started back up we'll talk about swapping me over to an AI (aromatase inhibitor). Supposidly they slightly improve your chances of not having a cancer recurrance, so I'm all in favor of that.

I also asked my onc about getting the genetic test done, and he seemed to think it was a good idea. So I might be following your lead, Suz. Like I say, you are my hero.

Got a cool pin while I was at the onc clinic. It says "Cancer sucks" in big letters. It's now on my purse. 

Amy, it's great to "hear" your voice. I'll be down in Salem, Mass the weekend of the 18th. Meeting my sister for a AAA tour. I'll think of you while I'm down in your neck of the woods.

Big hugs all around.

Love, Sal 

wishiwere

Have my 6 month with my BS next week, Sal.  That's one of the things on my list, the BRAC test.  Still not sure I want to, but have never discussed it with the doc, and I seemingly don't have an onco any more, I guess he's it   Great guy, so I hope he can guide me in the decision.

Did you do a mammo at 6 months? or are you on the one year plan too? I'm a little concerned on the one year with that ILC in my hx   Just not sure anymore of anything...hope to get the appt over with till april! YEAH!

suz45

Ok gals, took you all on a walk today (hope you dont mind)

Went on the run (walk) for the cure to end breast cancer today. I missed it last year and promised myself I would do it this time. So you were all on my back and in my heart. It was very emotional, but also very special. Will see if I can post a pic or two later, right now I have a few on facebook. Love and hugs, suz

wishiwere

Well?  Where's your facebook page?

Thanks for taking us!  Had fun....I think

Glad you went and hope you had fun too!

suz45

facebook is "Susan Holm"

 I was also just on the local news a few seconds ago.. guess i was one of the first "walking" survivors (we had pink shirts and the rest had white) through the finish line so they had a camera and mike in my face as soon as I crossed the line. They only used a part of the clip to say I was walking alone but had made a good friend along the way.

As I was walking a gentleman walked up to me and asked me if he could give me a hug. He said he never got to hug his Holly or say goodbye to her (Holly was a family member) we both broke down in tears and then walked arm in arm to the finish line. Thats when the news crew got me.

End of the day, news anchor and I after the crowds left. Her mother is an 8 year BC survivor

Start of the run

Finishing line Hugs, Suz

wishiwere

SuZ!  You look fantastic girl!  WAY TO GO!   And thanks for sharing the walk with us!   You did this by yourself.  Wow!  I am not that 'sure' of myself to do that!  You go girl!

Can't get over how great you look! 

bibliowarrior

You look marvelous, Suz. And I was nearly in tears too, reading your story about the man you met. Makes me grateful that my family still has me around.

Joy-- tomorrow is the big day. I'm thinking of you and sending you prayers for an uneventful conclusion to your treatments. Good luck!

Wiw-- nope, I didn't have mammo, but only because I had both breasts removed... no more mammos for this chick! See, there are some positive outcomes to this whole mess:-)  Good luck with your 6-month check-up!

Hugs all,

Sal 

wishiwere

Thanks Sal, while I'm not looking forward to it, it will be nice to have it behind me for another 6 months   No mammo's except yearly on the one I have left, so that's good... I think...still hard to let go of that feeling there is something in the other one, you know?

JOY! Prayers for Elizabeths' surgery today and your last chemo tomorrow!  Let us know how things go dear! Think about you often and wishing we were all closer to do a group hug with you! and help to celebrate ONE more step done for you!

kimbly

Suz where  where did you do that run because I did a CIBC run for the cure on Sunday as well.  I walked it with my sister, daughter and my sister's friend. Take it you were in BC??? I did mine in Ontario and will have pictures soon. My sister had her camera with and she took the pics which I haven't had emailed to me yet. My bil needs to get on that.  You look great, your hair is at about the same length as mine.  I have alot of waviness coming though which I am hoping does straighten with time and weight of more hair.  

Joy hugging you big time to celebrate your final treatment tomorrow!!!!!  will be thinking about you lots.  Sorry to hear about your MIL ... evil disease!

 I had a six month check on my remaining breast, which came back clear.  I am now on the once a year plan for that.  I went to see my plastic surgeon last week and we now can schedule a date for my exchange surgery.  I am now all nervous about that for some strange reason.  I am so used to the expander I guess that I just am reluctant for more change.  Anyhow I picked Dec 5 but now think I may see if I can bump it up to Nov 21 or so. The nipple and lift on the other side won't be done until most likely next year.  

 

suz45

Kimbly, I did the run/walk in Vancouver. Its Canada's largest single day event to raise funds for Breast Cancer. I think there were 4 different ones in BC. We had over 10,000 people registered here and raised more than 1.6 million (and rising) just from this one. I think I am going to put a team together for next year. I was really unsure if I was going to do this one as I honestly wasnt sure how I would be feeling only three weeks after ooph surgery. But I did ok allthough am really sore today.(but I still did a 4-5km walk today with the dog today anyway)

Joy, Holding you in my thoughts and prayers. What more can I say except I think of you every day and am hoping your last treatment goes smoothly and you can just rest as you slowly regain your strength. Its been such a long hard road for you. Possitive thoughts sent with you tomorrow as you have your final chemo. Lots of love and hugs!

Also hoping all the best for your mil Elizabeth as she has her surgery today. Its so sad as she has been there so much for you through all this. Lots of prayers.

So ladies here's hoping all goes well as most of us deal with follow up exams, tests, surgeries or whatever else they throw are way. We are all strong and will stay that way. Right! FUBC

Much love sent from me, Suz

beasgirl

Aw, Suz. Thank you, I was already teary thinking about you having us on your back before I even got to your story about the man who lost his Holly. Damn. Thank you, for walking, and for taking us with you. And, I'm impressed that you were one of the first survivors to finish, given you're, what, 3 weeks out of surgery!? You are too much. And you LOOK fabulous.

Kim, my hair is a little longer than yours and Suz's, i think--and the curls are driving me NUTS--no sign yet of anything straightening out! It's funny--I was dreading the gray, but kinda looking forward to curls--and now I feel totally the opposite--I'm fine with the gray, and i think I'll keep it, but I have no idea what to do with the completely out-of-control mop I am growing! Every morning I look like I stuck my finger in the light socket. Only more, uh, unpredictable.

Oh, and Kim, congratulations on your clear 6-month check!!  Yahooo!!

Sal, hey! Have fun in Salem--it's very pretty there.

Coming up on the anniversary of my surgery in a couple of weeks. Boy, THAT was a bad day. I'm going to see Blue Man Group the night before--tickets were my birthday present from my friends.

Joy, I can't believe you've got yet another piece of bad news to contend with--your poor MIL. She sounds like a really wonderful person--I'll keep her in my thoughts. And you too! I hope you're checking in, and you're feeling ok, and you make it through with a little oomph left to the other side of this crappy treatment you've been dealing with for SO LONG.  Everyone will immediately start asking if you feel better, and you will be SO IMPATIENT to stop feeling crummy...but it will happen. Thinking of you.

kimbly

WOW 10,000 people that is just awesome.  I think the Windsor one had about 3,000 and raised at the  point of the walk 290,000 which is wonderful for a smaller group I think.  You sure are strong going out only 3 weeks post op.  Did you ever think you could be this strong and determined??? We surprise ourselves with our strengths each and every day don't you think.  There is another walk here on the Detroit side in a few weeks.  Not sure if I will join or not, need more details.  I think my cancer center has a team put together. 

My hair also looks like I stuck my finger in socket in the morning.  Crazy!!! 

We must all be coming up to some sort of annivesary of sorts.  My initial mammo that found the mass was on Nov6 (my sons 16th bday) the follow up was the following Wednsday and then biopsy a few days after that.  I then was diagnosed Nov 21. ..... surgery for me was following chemo .. 

Joy what a long haul for you.. once again hope you feel better soon. and it will happen ....

suz45

Joy, thinking of you today and hope all goes well {{hugs}} 

Kimbly, I have always been a very physical person and power walking & hiking was (and will be again) one of my favorite passtimes. I also look like I stuck by finger in a light socket every morning. Parts seem straight or wavey and the sides and back are curly and stick out everywhere. I just try to de poof it a few times a day, but at least its hair..... right.

I got handed a flyer at the BC walk that I didnt read until yesterday and it sounds really interesting. Its for "Abreast in a boat" the worlds first breast cancer survivors dragon boat team. I have thought of joining some sort of paddling team a few times over the years but never followed up on it. I think i may have just found the right one.

Its   www.abreastinaboat.com  its fully monitored by dr's, oncologists (mine included) physiotherapists and so on. Now the real kicker is they have a team that practices about two miles away from my house. How cool is that! I just have to finish with these tests on thurs then if thats all clear, I need the Oncs ok that I can physically start this. Anyway Ive already started talking with them and it sounds like a blast.

Take care gals and will talk to you soon, Hugs Suz

suz45

 Ok I just got the stats via email for the run for the cure:

 "On Sunday, October 5th, over 170,000 people like you connected in 55 communities across Canada. Together, we raised an incredible $28.5 million to provide hope to thousands of Canadians living with breast cancer. We couldn't have done it without you!"

You know I am so proud to have been even a smallest part of this whole thing. I wonder how much I could raise if I started more than three days before the run??

Love and Hugs my Friends, Suz

kimbly

that's incredible!!!!  I am a displaced Canadian myself. ( I live in Michigan) but my sisters, mom, friends are all in Canada. 

suz45

Kimbly I was born in Winnipeg  but moved to Vancouver in 1985. Much too cold back east for me. We get a lot of rain in the winter but have the mountains if Im craving snow. I would love to try skiing again this winter, its been quite a few years for me. But you can be sure I will take lots of pics the moment I strap those planks on. Bought myself a new camera this week, just need to figure out how to use it properly.

Joy, hope your tx went well today, have been spreading Oct BC awareness around today on facebook in the fairy application. Touch bases when you feel up to it.

Love ya all, suz

Hugs everyone, Suz

wishiwere

{{Joy}} Good luck with your treatment today!  Thinking of you.  Heading to my BS for the one year post-op.  What joy.  Then off to the fitters.  Sounds like horseshoeing to me! UGH!  Not looking forward to this at all!

suz45

WIW, Good luck with the one year post-op.

Joy, Thinking of you and your dear mil, check in when your able. Im really hoping you were able to go ahead and have your FINAL chemo.

Hugs to all, Suz