please help

geebung

Dear Sue,

Very glad to see your post this morning but I was so sad to read of your pain but in awe of your bravery! It must hurt so much. I only had 2 nodes out and that was the most painful part of my surgery so I shudder to think how sore you must be after having the whole lot out. Keep up with the pain meds - I hope they have a soothing effect on your emotions too while you wait for the results on Wednesday. I am hoping and praying for the best possible outcome for you. And I don't think you are a wuss at all!

Love & hugs,

gb 

geebung

Melody - So thrilled to hear your good news!

Hugs,

gb 

honeygirl

Thanks geebung! I wonder how our Sue is doing at work today. I sure hope she takes it easy.

sueps

YOOHOO ...hello xxx

Well first of all CONGRATS to you Melody...on your mammo..excellent news! You are truly amazing....xxx

 Thankyou to everyone for their continued support and prayers xx

gb....I thankyou for your ever so kind thoughts..

 Well what a day.....I went to work at 11am to do banking and rota and ended up staying til 4pm on the till as somebody quit their job...I am in absolute agony....

 I am at home now with my 5 pillows...the pain is still as strong but I am getting comfort with the meds more...I do so hope the pain will go eventually....Will it get better?

 I am getting extremely worried about results on WEDS...if my nodes are negative does that mean mets...all my scans were clean....I am really really worrying.....

Much Love xxx

sueps

I am not ever going into work for the next 2 weeks at least as the pain is unbearable I really need to rest up xxx

Shirlann

Yeah, honey babe, you probably jumped back in too soon.  It takes time for all the incisions to heal.  Plus your body is mad at you for doing anything!  haha

If your nodes are clear, that means the cancer has not moved beyond the original site this is WONDERFUL NEWS.  The scans WERE clear, you are in fat city.  Your chances of any more problems with this just improved immensely.  Now, even if you have a few nodes involved, this is not the end of the world, probably half of us or more have some node involvement.  The nodes are designed to stop things (infections, etc.) from moving on into your body, so if you have a few positive, they did their job!  You will be an OLD LADY and we will still be e-mailing back and forth, since you will never get away from us, we all love you too much.

Hugs, Shirlann

sueps

Hi Shirlann xx

So far my bone scan clear ,my internal ultra,sound clear my breast mri clear and my bloods ok....

 If my nodes come back malignant does that mean really bad...or....the biopsy was graded intermediate insitu and invasive....I will be happier after Weds I suppose xxx

honeygirl

Hi Sue! I am hoping that you are fast asleep at this time. You really had a long day. I'm glad you are off work for the next two weeks. You really need to give yourself time to heal. And then , you will feel ever so much better. Shirlann is 100% correct. You got clear scans. Thats excellent. And , she is right on about the nodes. "If" any are involved , it means they are doing their job , and stopping the nasty bootface from spreading! I had IDC , intermediate , and no nodes positive. And I am praying for the same for you my sister. What ever your outcome is on the 24th , we will handle it with you. You are never alone in any of this. We have all been through this already , so you have all of our experience to guide you through. You are gonna be as fine as frog hair! And that my dear is "very" fine!!!lol You just need to get your pain under control , and you will feel better , and think clearer.

Oh Sue , your boys are absolutely beautiful! What little cuties.We both need to learn how to download pics here , so we can share our beautiful boys with everyone! Take care sista , Hugs and much love to you and the boys.xxx Mel

livesstrong

Sue,

Just got back from my vacation and have read just a bit here.  So sorry to hear you are in such pain. Please listen to the ladies who have been thru it, they know what they are talking about.  And whats this I read you went to work!!!!!  You should be taking care of yourself, work can wait.

I will check in again tomorrow,

Valerie

portiasproudmom

Sue, you little stinker!!  You definitely over-did today.  I admire you so much, but don't do that again!  You need to let yourself heal.  It's so frustrating though, isn't it?  I've never been sick in my life before this either (not counting your ordinary cold/flu stuff).  It's hard to keep us down when we're used to going, going, going!  I'll tell you--this chemo achey, tired garbage is really starting to get on my nerves.  I'm feeling a bit better tonight though, so I think the worst part is behind me.  We'll get through this, Sue!  We're strong and no stupid disease is going to get the best of us.  Bootface c#nc@r!

Take care and don't you dare do anything but rest up tomorrow!

Love and hugs,

Karen

geebung

Sue, you are a naughty girl to work so hard! I hope you are resting and making amends to your poor, aching body. I wish I could send you a team of servants to pamper and distract you - come to think of it - I  would send a team to Karen and everyone else who is doing it tough right now because of the ugly bootface.

Anyway, my wild imagination will not help anyone. Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and sending you big hugs - very gentle ones.

gb 

CaliforniaKate

Sue, had a family member in the hospital last week (fine now) and somehow I have missed your post op posts. I've been wondering how your surgery went. So glad you are home and recovering. I had a lumpectomy four years ago, and had 15 nodes removed. All were clear. The node removal recovery wasn't fun. First I had what felt like hot coals running down my arm when I would move into certain positions. It was nerve pain, and only lasted about two weeks. I had to really make myself walk my arm up the wall so I would get a good range of motion. Things will get better for you soon. In the mean time, maybe what you are taking for pain isn't strong enough for you. Consider asking your doctor for something else. I've loved reading your posts.    Kate

Valsul

Just touching base with you, Sue.

Can't believe you went into work and stayed for so long.  I know our bodies are very resilient, but we have to know when to stop and rest.  We all push ourselves to the limit and when the battery gets low we pull on precious healing resources to get home.  Be strict with yourself on resting, or you'll push your healing further back.

Rest and meds are what the doc ordered

Big hugs

Valerie S

sueps

sueps

sueps

sueps

hello everyone xxx

Hope you are all OK .....

I am physically a little better than a few days ago ...the pain meds are certainly helping....I still cant stretch my arm etc....keep dropping things with the pain....however.....

...today...I am up in them there dark clouds....I am really confused and obsessed with how many years I will live for ....and whether I will have to go back in hospital etc..... mainly I have been lying here guestimating my life span!!  WHY ???  Maybe as time passes a little more sinks in...maybe I am fearing the worst so that Wedneday will be easier if they tell me thats it .....Sorry to be so pensive.....I just want to fly away and be a freebird again....Sometimes I hate my head and all that I ruminate...

So I need to lift me out...I need Weds to come and go...I need to be told they got the wrong person because I am starting to feel really lost with how I should be feeling....I am almost withering away mentally bcos I feel like I am about to lose everything and everyone..

SORRY xx

sueps

 See I cant even post without repeating myself.... GIVE ME STRENGTH TONIGHT

Thankyou to everyone for all your support...wish I could put my arms around you all...well my left arm at least ...lol...

 Why do I always find humour ... damn it... I cant even be down without feeling up ...see I am lost ...lol

Shirlann

Sweet Sue, we ALL worried.  It is the hardest part, along with waiting.  But you will not die.  Just remember 90% of us, even with positive nodes, live out our lives.  That is the truth.  You are not going to die and you will be just fine.

It takes time and your confidence in your body has been shaken, this is for sure.  After a year or two you will think less and less about this whole thing.  But it is a challenge, but you can do it, and you will get through this a stronger person.

You are basically a very strong, confident woman, and that will get you through this.  And trust me, your sense of humor is just the thing.  As the days go by, and you begin to feel better, you will be amazed at how life will return to normal.

Love you, sweetie, Shirlann

Lucy1234

Im feeling you

I curse my head every day. People say "try not to think about it until you know" YEA RIGHT! I say Like you know!

I would be nice to think about anything else!. There may be people out there that can train there minds to think what they want, but I for one am not one of them.

I have been reading your story and Im amazed how you have been so resilient. You run a Subway store if im correct? That is a very stressfull I know I am also a manager. I have not had a day sick for 4 years but Im going to make up for now.

I personally think you havent taken the time you need to recover (mentally and physically) you obviouly have worked VERY hard for that company and now you need to take somthing back.

I may not have been though the op yet and not know exactly how you feel, what I do know is how much pressure a managment postition brings and that somthing you could do without at the moment.

Lucy1234

Sorry again if you think I'm being opinionated I didnt mean it that way. It just frustrates me that being a manager you are somtimes in a male dominated world and are expected to be superwoman!



When you are obviously one of those already



XXX

sueps

AHHH Poppy...its so good to see you again...you are so not opinionated about the job...I am never able to put things down there...its been a godsend being off sick...when I went in yday it was supposed to be for an hours paperwork...but you know how things turn out.....

Thankyou for your posts ... at least I am not alone in my thinking....Its right there in my head all the time but I refuse to believe it is for real sometimes..I think this is a coping mechanism.... All I know is that it is very difficult to come to grips with.... Often and every night I will say to my OH 'Do you think I wil die' etc...... Sometimes we sit there in disbelief...

You're strong Poppy....and it brings me much strength from my perspective...xxx

sueps

KAREN...

Hows your chemo going...are you still working through it all...just need to get ready mentally.....I should imagine you're having it tough right now...... Pamper yourself and take it easy...xxxx

Time is dragging tonight..... tick tock the waiting game...do you realise it is 2 weeks on Tuesday since I went in...Time waits for no man....

xxxx

Lucy1234

I do feel sorry for the OH's. I dont know what I would do if the tables were turned. They dont know what to say or do to help?



Theres nothing they can do!



I heard a great thing today. "You dont start living until you face death" This is so true. I have taken so much more notice of the trees, the birds the sea...... and appreciating things around me.

I honestly feel sorry for people that float along in life and then just drop dead.

Facing death is a V scarey thing but at least it makes you appreciate life.

TenderIsOurMight

Sue and Poppy,



You are superwomen, and England is better off with ladies like you. You're super in everyway: Mother's to children, supporters of the ill, managers of employees, and risers to the challenge of the Beast.



Why you are supercalifragillisticexpealidocious! (super- "above," cali- "beauty," fragillistic- "delicate," expeali- "to atone," and docious- "educable," with the sum of these parts signifying roughly "Atoning for educatability through delicate beauty").



Don't let men bosses abuse you in anyway during this time. Sick leave is earned and much needed during times like this, and both of you clearly have given much more than ever taken.



With salutation,

Tender

sueps

I know what you mean Poppy....a lot of the time I think the OH has it worse...because mentally if I were him I would be agonising......Much much more than I am now xx See its difficult all round isnt it...just the wave effect and the unknown .... torturous...but for now I really do appreciate everything..and the first thing I did after my biopsy was sit in my car and think how nice the grass at the hospital was ...Life is a wonderous thing x

Tender, you are so very kind , I forever deeply appreciate you xxx

sueps

Shirlann ...I never thought about the loss of confidence in my body ...but that is so right and another element to this feeling I have ... xx

Kate I am going to start walking the wall or I will have a permanent bent arm ..lol..xx

Valerie ..I hope you had a nice peaceful holiday xx

Valsul

Hi Sue,

I am off to bed now and hope you have a peaceful night's sleep.  I won't be posting for some days to come, so I will send you positive thoughts to keep those demons away that drag you into the dark clouds. 

Big hugs - and I won't be here on Weds when your results come out, so again, positive thoughts for a good outcome.  You will get your plan then and that's the next stage in this fight.  Way to go!

Big hugs

Valerie S

geebung

Hi Sue,

It is after 11pm here and I am about to go to bed. Just noticed your post on another thread so I can see that you are hovering there in cyberspace. I hope you are doing ok and that you are keeping the pain under control.

Not so long to wait now for the results but I'm sure the time is dragging for you. Soon you will know exactly what you are dealing with and what you need to do to stamp out the %#*%@ bootface and send it screaming into nonexistence.

I'm off to study the insides of my eyelids for a few hours.

Hugs,

gb 

sueps

Awwww gb...hope you have a good refreshing sleep....and have a nice morning tmw....xxx

The time is going sooooo slow and I am getting agitated...I spoke with the cancer nurse and she explained that the surgeons are meeting with the oncologist from Christies Hospital ( a big treatment hospital in Manchester) prior to my appt on Weds morning to discuss the results.... time is absolutely slow today...its been a long wait since I found the lump way back then

Much Love xxx