please help

sueps

ULLA .... look how at home he is ...hahahahahahah I cant stop laughing...he is part of the furniture.... oh how I hope you get to keep him.... he is beautiful!!!! What a beautiful story too...I cannot believe how many spiritual happenings you have had on this journey...someone is watching over you....

Has your hubby met your new boyfriend ...lol.... this has cheered me up no end xxx  thankyou!!!

AnnNYC

Oh Sue,

I'm so sorry about your mouth

and TOM!

(I think this is only my second time on this conversation, tho you know I've been reading here.)

Anyway, I so commiserate with you about job, finances, needing to work -- and being overworked.  Twelve-hour days are routinely demanded of me-- without overtime pay. It's been hard enough for me just with surgeries and AIs -- I can barely conceive of how you do it with chemo and shingles and all.  I'm furious at how you're being treated by Tom -- I'm sorry, I'm fresh out of advice, so all I can offer is hugs.

(oh, and I guess slugs, if you decide you need a group of us to knock some sense into anyone!)

HUGS,

Ann

AnnNYC

Oops, Sue,

our posts crossed -- didn't mean to stir the pot back up!

Ulla's new cat is adorable!

Best to all,

Ann

sueps

(((Ann)))

 You have touched my heart with your empathy... it's a ridiculous situation isn't it... Tom is absolutelty diabolical...he has been for months.... Only he will walk away soon...when he sells...leaving his poor worn out employees ... I have been really seething in my head today with him  xxx

Ann thankyou for keeping up with my journey...it means the world to me to know that people out there are rooting and supporting each other....in special ways...xxx

I figure tonight... I have a feeling again...like a storm brewing....and will it pass or will it not...shall I go sick now or will I feel better...well I have a weeks holiday booked on the 7th March...so maybe I will wait....

I might take some financial advice too when I am off... I just cant afford to lose all the income... xxx

Deep breaths...hot bath ...few more days and it might pass... count my blessings....  xxx

Much Love xxx

sueps

...the other thought though is I cant afford to lose my mental health if I stayed off work and I know I would wallow... work has been a godsend to my survival...and sometimes...worth more than the earnings .... swings and roundabouts .... xxx 

Still where will it all end ... xxx

I am going for a bath ... I feel better spaced now I have come here as usual .... I am so eternally grateful to you all xxx

Ulla

sweetheart sue,,

1st of all ..i hope u feel li bit better to know howmany of us..ur real loving sisters r here with u giving u the biggest hug ,,,

i feel ur fears and pains ,,but honey just think that everyday passes will bring u closer to the end of this trip..

it is really a magic way to keep counting down the days

day by day u will be finished be4 u know it..trust me it worked with me..

look at me when i was very worried and afraid of rads,,now 1 week done and 4 to go...

DEAR SUE THANKS ALOT FOR POSTING MY ERIKS PIX..

LOVE U SISTERS

HeatherBLocklear

Sue,

You have to forge ahead. You owe it to yourself. You need to get well so you can live your life and do all the things that you have been intended (and have wanted) to do. I know I'll probably be here moaning in a few days, and I know the other women on the forum will be telling me exactly what I'm telling you. It's scary, horrible, crazy, insane, unfair, painful, hateful -- but we've got the damned sh**, and so we have no choice but to enter combat and stay in the ring until it's down and gone for good.

Love,

Annie your sister in pain.

HeatherBLocklear

Goddag Ulla,

Din lille kat ligner mine to kaere katte. Er din en dreng (pojke) eller en pige (flicka)?

Knus fra

Annie i Texas

Shirlann

Well, Sue, sweetie, you are the brave one.  I firmly believe you are not completely over Shingles.  It took my step-father weeks to completely recover.  So I think you are dealing with about 7 things at once.  NOT FAIR!!!!!

Ulla, your kitten is beautiful.  And, I might add, extremely lucky!  How about you adopt an old lady from America with those fuzzy pillows and good food?   haha

All my sweet sisters.  What a frickin' nightmare.  Sue, hang on honey.  You will get through this.  Damn job.  You sure didn't need that uproar on top of all this other you are dealing with.  I hope all the people being mean to you get cancer of their you-know-whats and they fall off!!!

Anyway, I love you all, Karen, my you are lovely.  Where do you live?  You have skin like our Sue.

Hugs, kisses and more!  Shirlann

Ulla

oh,,,

dear annie speaks swedish

have u lived here in swedish be4??

goddag annie,,

jag alskar katter sa mycket..

was nice to try my swedish with u..

i was banned of going to school to learn swedish any more by my onky...till i finish all my treatments,,,

love u sister

sueps

Annie .... your last post is the one I will carry with me through this storm..I can't thankyou enough for the perspective....I am so blessed to have so many beautiful courageous and understanding soul mates/sisters in my life.

 I WOULD NEVER HAVE GOT THROUGH THIS SANELY WITHOUT YOU ALL .... xxxx

Shirlann I just choked on my cuppa ...LOLOLOLOL...I dont think Tom has any wotsits ...lol....you are soooooooo funny lol...and special...your Walt was blessed with you !!!!  I LOVE YOU XXX

I just had a bath can you belive its nearly midnight...I rinsed my mouth arghh arghhh ARGHHHHHHHH freaking ugly boil in the bag bootface cancer .....I am going to buy some porridge or somwthing when I go shopping tomorrow...and no sharp ouchy ouchy food ...I wonder if the mouth will let up similar to the nausea etc ...before nxt treatment...

With this CMF ...it feels like someone has poured pure detergent all into my body....like bleach or something..its very unusual feeling xxx I am going to do some research on it xxx

Ulla what does Mr Ulla say about your new lodger xxx

What lovely plush cushions you have ....

Much Love xxx

Ulla

dear annie the new cat is pojke...

i just noticed ur q now sorry for my lats answer

sue how was ur bath??hope u feel better

love u sisters

sueps

Ulla my bath was lovely...my mouthwash was arghhh xx

It is midnight...I am making a cuppa and taking you all upstairs with me....I am going to research this damn CMF ...

                                                                         C ruel

                                                                         M ean

                                                                         F  luid

                                          

honeygirl

Hi ladies. Ulla , yes , what does hubby think of Eriks? I hope he is a cat lover. Cause if our Ulla wants a kitty , our Ulla gets a kitty! How could you not love that cute little face. He is such a darling. And he looks quite at home already! Hugs to you Ulla.xxxx

Sue , you know with all the chemo you have already had , and are still on , your system is down , and now you are on antibiotics for the shingles , that is so why you have thrush. I think if you were just having cmf , maybe you wouldn't feel so bad. But because you had the harsher stuff and cmf its got to be wearing you down physically. And mentally. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope you can get something tomorrow that helps the pain in your mouth. I've always hated any kind of pain in any part of my head. It makes it hard to even think straight. Let alone , try to feel better. Lots of love to you tonight sweet Sue.xxxx

Ulla

dear sue ,,

honestly..DH is not happy with the presence of ERIKS,,he really feels jealouse and uncomfortable ..

we used to have our cats in baghdad outdoors and indoors as we used to have our own garden..so he didnt mind me keeping many as long as they can be outside most of the time...now in this flat as it is going to be inside all the time he looks so uncomfortable ....

it breaks my heart to c him unhappy like he is now...

dear shirlann i just saw ur post now..i swear i did read all the posts and it wasnt there,,i dont know wat is hapenning to me..

regarding to my eyes

the ONKY gave me chloramphenicol eye drops and it didnt treat it completely,,i have a new one in the other eye and the old ones still not healed but smaller in size with less redness and swelling..i dodnt know wat is wroung with my eyes ..one to heal the other to be infected...god it makes me feel so baddddddddddd

Ulla

my post was interrupted,,i was saying that my ONKY made it to send me to an ophthalmologist next week to be sure wats going on with my eyes

dear mel..DH is a semi-cat lover ..he loves them as long as they were away from our bed room in baghdad,,but the situation was totally different there it was a big house not like this very little flat..i dont know wat to do to make him feel better..he is not saying that he dont want the cat,,he just so unhappy but didnt want to bother me..

now i have one of the worse ,,nasty hot flash now,,,goddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

livesstrong

Hi Ladies,

As usual, it has been busy around here.

UB is lying down, thankful he is home.  The journey to Oz is just beginning.....

Sue - tell that A-hole boss of yours to stick it where the sun don't shine.  I can't believe how insensitive he is.  I believe in Karma - he will get his someday.  

I am sitting here in awe of how strong you are.  I honestly am amazed. You should be VERY proud of yourself, young lady.

Ulla has a new furbaby!!!  I'm so happy for you.  I also think it was meant to be.  Enjoy him!!!

Karen & Lisa - glad to see you both are doing better. 

Mel - thanks for doing the birthday list, I'll pm you mine.

I know I missed some, but know I love you ALL - A to Z,

TTYS,

AE 

honeygirl

Hi Ulla , I don't know what men have against cats , and I know its not all men. Some are cat lovers like us. But I want to share with you , about my O/H. When we first moved in together , I told him I was a package deal. Me , my son , and my cat. Thats the way it was. Well , he didn't like cats. But as time when by , and especially after he retired and was home all day with my first cat Edwina , he got attached to her. And when I came home from having her put down , he was waiting for me and held me and cried with me. And HE is the one that brought home our new little satan-spawn Lilly. And he really is attached to her. So give your hubby some time. Cats have a way with people. Especially if they know someone doesn't like them. When Eriks starts playing and making you laugh , he may change his mind.xxxx

Hi AE. I'm so glad UB is home and resting. Yes , the fight has just begun. But we are all here to help you through it. Stay strong , like sister Sue. You really are strong Sue. I know you may not feel like you are , but you are. Hope you all have a restful night.xxxx Melody

sueps

psssssttt Hi girls xxx Hi Ub xxx

It is 430am I am up with mouth sores....very painful...heartburn ughhh .... I fell asleep earlier for a bit...but didnt last. I am just wanting to pop on and give Ub a welcome home .....and to let him know we are all sending our best love and wishes....as we pick him up on the way to EC .... I love you AE ..... more than you will ever know xxx

I am going to have a cuppa...ouch ....and take some tablets....

Thankyou girls for all your support tonight......you know when I go quiet I have zonked  xxx

Sweetdreams for when you all go later xxx  Cya tomorrow xxx

Ulla

dear sue..

it is very normal to sleep few hrs then to wake up..i still have that till now,,ONKY said it will be better wen we get rid of the steroids effect ..which take some time ,,,

honey hang on,,,ERIKS WOKE ME UP AS HE WANTS TO ...POOOO...SO I SHOULD OPEN THE DOOR OF THE BALKONY FOR THE PRINCE....

DH got angry and i hardly calmed him down...the whole problem is the change in the house size between here and our house in baghdad..the whole style is very different..there we r more free to do whatever we want in home while here it is a different story....

well i would like to explain hubby feelings towards cats ,,,he like them really but just as long as they are far away from our bed and bed room and his favorate soffa..which unfortunatelly is started to be ERIKS favorate soffa tooo...wat a problem ??????smiles

tonight it was a war like situation here between hubby and ERIKS to have their seat on the same soffa ..so u can all imagine hubby just went to the WC so ERIKS jump to sit in his place the nhubby come bak to c him there pushing ERIKS away to sit in the same place,,,god it was really funny(for me only) to watch them doing that all the night till we r off to sleep,,,....

dear AE i feel really happy that UB is home ,,,tell him that i am sending him the biggest hug as he started his fight again,,,,

where is lucy???i miss her..

it seems that my eyes dont want to heal..once one eye get well the other start to have its own sytes again...

i am waiting till the ophthalmologist call me ....

karen where r u too?

i still miss karyll so much and think about her...

lisa,,how was ur car bill??hope it was not so expensive..love u

dear sisters ,,i love u soooooooo much

honeygirl

Good Morning EveryoneSue , I see you didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night. Hope you can get something to sooth your mouth sores. Isn't there any kind of a "natural" gargle or mouthwash you could use? Like when you have a sore throat , you can use salt water , I know you don't want salt in your mouth , but ladies , does anyone have a homemade remedy? Would yogurt help to balance the bacteria in the mouth again? Hang on Sue , maybe someone will have a remedy for you. Or maybe you got something at the store today.I hope so sweetie. The pain has got to be horrible. Have you tried sucking on ice chips? OK , I'll stop. xxxx

Well Ulla , how was your first night with Eriks? Did hubby survive? Hubby must understand , there have been alot of changes for you and him , but especially for you. And I would think if a little furry friend can bring some happiness for you , he has to give him a chance. And isn't he at work alot of the time? You need a little fur baby to keep you company.Sorry to hear your eyes are still giving you troubles. Hope the opthm. can help you. We all seem to have some kind of infection during or just after chemo. Hang in there honey. Once you get rid of this , I think you're on your way to healing. You're body should start re-building its immune system by now. Have fun with Eriks.xxxx

Lisa , hope the car isn't costing you alot. I woke up to lots of sunshine this morning! Its soooo good to see the sun again. Hope you're having a good day.Tell Olivia hi , and I hope she is liking her new job.xxxx

gb , hope your weekend was great. Missed you here this weekend.xxxx

Karen , how was the flower show? You know when its time for the flower show , spring is just around the corner! Yeah!xxxx

Lucy , where are you honey? Hope you and the kids are OK. miss you.xxxx

Valsul , thinking of you and hoping everyday gets a little better for you. Stop in sometime and say hi. We all miss you.xxxx

Karyll , I hope even though you haven't posted , that you are reading and know we are thinking and praying for you daily. Circle of love hugs for you sister.

AE , hope you and UB had an uneventful night. Is he able to eat solids? Maybe you can make him something he loves. Tell him hello from his EC sisters. Love you.xxxx

Hello to the rest of my sisters. bbl. xxxx Melody

honeygirl

honeygirl

Ladies , don't forget to pm me your birthdates! I only have two so far...

my3girls

Good morning sisters... I had 42 posts to read this morning.  Sorry, but I probably won't be able to respond to all of them.  I am still not feeling so well.  My main problem is achy flu like symptoms.  I have a headache, and I STILL FEEL DIZZY! That is the worst part.  I have a difficult time sleeping...it's starting to exhaust me. I just want to feel good again!  I was for a few days..and now...I feel like I have gone backwards.  I go back to work in a week...I sure hope I feel better then. Sorry to go on and on....just tired of the fuzzy head, achy body! Welcome to all of the new posters here! Ulla, that kitty was meant to find you. She has such beautiful eyes!  I hope d/h calms down and starts to accept and enjoy Erik.  My car was about 180.00 dollars.  Not too bad...but he said, there was water in the transmission, and that in about 5 or 6 months, I will probably need to rebuild my transmission!!!  That will cost a couple thousand dollars!  It's always something! Like Sue...the money situation scares me!  I am not getting paid for these weeks off of work.  I am getting my taxes done next week, and I should get a very nice refund...that will help.  I go to court with the girls father on March 6th....for his lack of child support...so HOPEFULLY something will come of that, and he will start to provide for Olivia. Sue...I am so sorry honey, that you are feeling so bad.  I really thought the cmf would be so much easier for you...that is what I had heard.  I think allot of your problems are the shingles.  Like Shirlann said, they take a long time to get over.  I can so relate to the mouth problem.  I had the same soreness and pain as you when I was on Taxotere.  I used the perscription mouthwash only a few times. It numbed my mouth...but I didn't think it helped that much.  I just was very choosy about what I ate.  It was so hard to eat and drink.  I only liked cold drinks.  I feel for you!!  I am sorry about all the grief Tom is giving you!! Shame on him.  I hope you enjoy your day off of work today.  Rest...sleep if you can, and most of all, enjoy those darling boys! Mel..thanks for all the great picture posts!  I enjoy them! Karen, enjoy your day with your friend....sounds like a nice time. Where is our Lucy?? I miss seeing her!! Lucy...post for us...we miss you!! Love to all my sisters here! xoxo Lisa

sueps

Hello Sisters xxx

Melody the pictures you post are truly beautiful and uplifting ..... xxx

Please everyone know that I think of you all ..... I am so very ill

I am having trouble with my body ...my mouth my throat...my head is lolling to one side and I am very drowsy... I am bleeding when I go to the toilet and my teeth are full of holes. I cant really feel my feet and my legs are weak. I really dont know whats supposed to be. I am not sure if I am risking too much..

My dad visited on speck today...which was lovely...he is so brave ....he is heartbroken inside..I can see it on his face... We love each other so much ...and have travelled so closely in life together mentally since 20 years my mum passed...

I think I  am in crisis with this treatment

So sorry xx

livesstrong

Sue, can you call your Oncky and ask his/her advice??  I feel so bad for you.  I know our oncky can be reached 24/7 - is it the same way there??

Lisa - so sorry to hear you feel crappy as well.

I hate bootface. (: <)

Ae 

mommy_mia

Sue,

You said it...one day at a time.  Maybe even 1 minute at a time.

I'm not sure if CMF is like taxotere (I think it is?).  I'm also finding that I feel like I'm burning on the inside.  Mouth, digestive system, heartburn, bowels...you name it and it's ON FIRE in me.  Even my nose bleeds.  Steriods and hot flashes keeping me up half the night, which makes it so much harder to deal with feeling crappy.

Everyone is right, you are probably feeling even worse with the shingles still in the mix.  You can DO THIS!!!!!

You will feel better soon, I promise.  I'm bad at this too, but you must remember to take it one day at a time.  It's the only way to get through this. 

Someday soon you are going to look back at this and say "I'm a survivor...I did it!".

Love,

Mia

honeygirl

Sue , it sounds like its time to call the doc. They need to know all that is going on with you now. Give them a call sweetie. You may need a break from this , or some stronger meds. Hope you can rest. It really sounds like you should stay home tomorrow. Screw Mr Tom , you do what you have to do for you.xxxx Melody

sueps

Hi Mia ....thankyou a zillion...a day at a time even a second...you are so right....xxx

Mia when you get the mouth sores etc...are they there all the time or do they go between treaments....I have heartburn .... I will probably be left with no teeth...xxx

Mel ...do you know I am going to weather this one treatment ...and when I go back I am going to tell them EVERYTHING bcos I feel my body is just not able to be whammed ....they may suggest something else... I just cant go through this again next time... xxx

AE xxx I cant call ONKY....I can call the hospital helpline who give advice ...and send you to the local on call doc....which is too far away...I am going to see if I can pull through this...and get contingent in my head for next time xxx

I am also going to put a thread up to see if people actually come off chemo .... I have done a lot and i have had all the tumour removed and the nodes were ok... ITS JUST THE TRIP NEG AND MY AGE GOING AGAINST ME xxx

I am having some chocolate ready break...bit like porridge...xxx

HeatherBLocklear

Ulla,

Min mor er Dansk, og jeg gik i skolan i Sverige da jag var en lilla flicka. So, I do speak fluent Danish, French, and Spanish and manage somewhat in Swedish as well as in Norwegian.  A smattering of German, Italian, and Arabic as well. Languages are wonderful ways of connecting with people all over the world.

Knus to you!

Annie

PS: Sue, you hang in there, sweetheart! You are loved and supported here!