Starting Chemo in May 07
Comments
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Hi all - LeeAnne & I went to the Harmony Hill retreat. She was so kind, driving even though she's been tired. The retreat was wonderful but being home has been a little bit overwhelming for me, I'm a little bit in shock at my life. It was so easy to get used to being taken care of - 3 whole foods meals a day, yoga, super-nice accomodations, fireplace, group therapy, beautiful views, gardens, great company, calmness all around. I think maybe I'm not meant to live in the city - I came back frm the retreat so incredibly relaxed, and between traffic and rads I'm tense again. -
Hey Amy,
Sorry you are back to the real world.....What is the Harmony Hill retreat? Is it a BC thing???
Glad to have you back though....
Traci
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Hi Traci - Yes, it was a BC retreat.
It's on the list of healing retreats inspired by the Commonweal Cancer Help Program. That retreat center is in Point Reyes, California (gorgeous). The cost for their weeklong retreat is substantial, whereas Harmony Hill's retreats are free of charge so that women from all financial situations can attend (like me!)
Commonweal was featured in Bill Moyer's PBS documentary, Healing & The Mind.
If you learn about more BC healing retreats I'm all ears. I may roll my eyes at the "woo-woo", but I tell you what - whatever we did worked because I felt so relaxed, and so cared for.
Have a great day!
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Hi Everyone,
I'm feeling good today. Went to Coffee bean with dh and enjoyed a coffee and muffin and the newspaper. Didn't feel sick for a few hours. Actually I am feeling pretty good overall today. Tomorrow is taxotere number 3 so I'll be one with the la-z-boy by Wednesday.
How's everyone today?
LeeAnne -- how was your retreat?
Traci -- is your surgery rescheduled?
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Hi everyone,
Amanda andLeeAnne - I am jealous of your retreat! Sounds wonderful - glad you had an awesome time! Much deserved.
Traci - when is your surgery rescheduled for? How are you doing? Any more news on your sister?
Liz - how are you doing today? Only one more tx left...that is a reason to celebrate! Hope you're feeling good.
Everyone else - I hope you are all well and if you're waiting for any news - I hope it's good! (Kara- how's that infection?)
I saw my rads oncologist today and I will start radiation in 3-4 weeks (!) I was kinda hoping he'd say in a week or two but he wants to make sure I'm completely healed first - and it looks good right now - so that's positive. Also I got my path report back and my margins ARE CLEAN!!! That's not a surprise but it's still nice to have it officially confirmed! So, I'm hoping to be done by Christmas - but we'll see. He also said he'd rather I not get my gall bladder removed during rads (even though my surgeon says yes) so I either have a fat free Christmas
or maybe I can have it removed before I start rads since I have a 3-4 week wait anyways...I see her (my surgeon) on Wednesday and my onc to start Tamoxifen on Thursday. Busy week of appointments. Gotta head back to work - I'm still installing this haunted house for my agency - we open on Saturday and I am so not ready!!!
I hope you are all happy and well!
Mandy
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I'm still alive, LOL! Girls, I'm so sorry I've been AWOL for so long. See, I finished chemo and life absolutely TOOK OVER. No more lazy (albeit nauseated) days in bed! Sort of a catch-22, I guess. I'm glad I'm not on chemo, but I do miss the help. Rads have been getting harder and harder. I'm in my last week of 6, and I'm DEAD tired. I finally had to line up some childcare 2 mornings a week, just to help me deal a little bit better, so that's starting this week.
How are the rest of you doing on rads? Are you totally wiped out? I get to about 1pm and I have nothing left in me. But taking naps is hard because my kids don't really sleep. They play quietly in their rooms, but I can still hear my dd's pretend games going on, and ds dumping out boxes of cars that I'll be cleaning up later. I'm really lucky, though, that I haven't had a bad skin reaction at all. I'm just a bit pinkish/reddish but that's it. Not much pain or sensitivity.
Liz, how are you doing with your 2nd set of chemo? I'm thinking you're almost done with it, maybe? I'd sure love an update from anybody who has time and energy to give me one on how you're doing. I'm going to try to be a little more present here. I feel bad for getting so much support from all of you during chemo and then dropping off the face of the earth so quickly afterwards! It's been so hard to juggle all the "real life" that was on hold all summer long--it all came crashing in once I was "able" (although not really) to take on my responsibilities again, and I haven't done a very good job finding balance. Basically I feel like I barely have my head above water right now.
I have an appt. with my onc tomorrow--I'm guessing he'll talk about what anti-estrogen meds I'll be taking. Not looking forward to those!
All for now,
Amy
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Oh yeah, forgot to ask--how's hair growth coming?? I've got about 1/2 inch all over. Not quite ready to go wigless yet, but VERY CLOSE! I could definitely do it now, it's just a matter of which comments and stares I feel like dealing with, vs. how sick I am of wearing a wig.
Amy
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So glad to hear from you Amy and Mandy.
I'm doing well today. I just had my #3 taxotere. I just get sleepy the first day from the benadryl and then I feel really good the second day and then I get really tired starting with day 3. No big se's so far besides the anemia and being too tired to think straight.
So you're both doing tamoxifen or something like it? I'm supposed to do tamoxifen when I'm done. One more taxotere and that's it. It's going really fast. I'll be interested to see how everyone is tolerating the estrogen treatments.
My hair is still falling out, but believe it or not I can feel new growth this time which I didn't when I was on the a/c. I am so sick of the wigs and scarves too, but I definitely can't go topless now.
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Liz, I am so happy that you are not experiencing the pain I had with the Taxotere!!!!!!
Aimster! It's o.k. for you to drop off the face of this earth for awhile...just check back in every now and then o.k.??
Mandy.....you have way too much energy!
I re-scheduled my hysterectomy for 10/31. (Ports coming out then too!!!!!
I get my expanders replaced with implants on 11/28!My hair.....well, I would say mine is a 1/4 inch too...pretty much...all over. Slowly but surely.......
I am super happy to report that my eyebrows may very well look normal within two weeks! My eyelashes however, well they are still a different story!
I may be off for a few days. Some of you may have already heard this but, I'm driving to Atlanta tomorrow to hold Debbi's hand for her bone biopsy. So.....I'll let y'all know what happens when I get back.
Hugs everybody!
Traci
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Can y'all tell I found other smileys??????
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Woohoo Traci. You're getting your stuff done.
I hope things go well for Debbi. We'll be waiting to hear.
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Liz - yay! only 1 more taxotere to go! that's great.
the time period of 3-8 weeks after chemo I felt better than I had for eons.
I started tamoxifen wk 8 and have been really tired. So tired that I wonder if I can do it for 5 years. Will however hang in there, give it a few months at the least.
8 rads down, 20 to go.
Amy - so good to hear from you!! I hear you about life taking over after chemo.
Take care all,
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Amya, So tamoxifen makes one tired TOO? Ugh! The rads are about all I can take, I think. I'm having 30 treatments, by the way--only 4 more to go!
Traci, my eyebrows are back too! I'd say they look normal--not as thick as they will be, but mine were so thick to begin with they just look like everybody else's now. I never really did lose all my eyelashes, thankfully.
Liz, I'm glad taxotere isn't too horrific. How are you doing post-surgery?
Amy
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Amy, I'm almost 8 weeks post-surgery. I'm getting my range of motion back in my arm, though I must admit I could have been more diligent about doing those exercises. I really don't have any complaints. The expanders will come out on 12/11 and then life will be much better. The mastectomy would have been a breeze if it weren't for the expanders.
Thanks for asking. Congrats on almost being finished with rads. You must be excited to put that behind you!
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Traci- I love your smiley's!! I need one that's crying!!
This AM, driving to work, a MAN driving in the RIGHT lane, decided to make a LEFT turn. Well, me being in the left lane...that didn't work out so well for me. ARRRRRGGGGGGGGH. The guy was nice...very apologetic and admitted to the cop that it was his fault. But, it's just ONE more thing to stress over... And I swear to god that stress makes cancer grow....
Anyhow, the cop who took my license looked at my picture (with long locks), then looked at me, then back at my picture and said, "this is a different look for you..." and I said, "I know...I am a cancer survivor." He looked a little Gob-smacked for a minute, then recovered and said "good for you, congratulations..." So, I have to keep telling myself...it's just a car...it's stuff...it can be fixed. But, I'm PISSED! Anywho...what am I gonna do. I can't sweat the small stuff. Oprah had the man fron Carnegie Melon who is dying from Pancreatic Cancer on her show as well as the gal who did the movie "Crazy Sexy Cancer" or something like that...she was diagnosed with Stage 4 metasticized breast cancer and she's fighting like hell... The show was very moving... Made me feel guilty for not exercising for eating better...
Anyhow, enough about ME! Welcome BACK AMY!! We missed you. It's great that LIFE got in the way of your posting. I'm sorry that you are so fatigued with the radiation. It's hard for me to judge the side effects b/c I did my rads before chemo. I got tired, but it never interfered with my work. I know that I am about AS tired, if not more now after chemo, so I'm sure it's much worse for you gals who have been beaten down by the chemo to then go for the rads... I am exhausted these days...just dragging my butt around.
Oh, I did spend the day at the Bronx Zoo on Sunday. It was so awesome. We are having unseasonably warm weather, so it was in the mid to high 70's on Sunday...
Liz- sounds like you are doing awesome on your treatments!! WAY TO GO!! You are almost done!!!
Amanda- I have been on the Tamoxifen for a while. I got hot flashes in the beginning, but I have now acclimated to the meds...so no more hot flashes! Whoo hoo! I don't think that fatigue is a SE... I guess that's another question for the doc on Friday....Herceptin time...AGAIN....
No word on my MRI...waiting on pins and needles....
Ok gals, just here for a reality check. Big howdy-hello to all I didn't specifically call out (Mandy, Cindy, everyone!)...
Talk to you all soon...
Virginia
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Hey Virginia! Good to hear from you. Sorry about the accident. But you're right it's just stuff but I think it is hard to have to deal with anything more than what we're already dealing with isn't it? Let us know about the mri results ok?
Everyone, I'm feeling great--day 2 of taxotere #3. I was not anemic yesterday for the first time in a month which was surprising. Maybe the procrit is actually helping -- or else it was that New York steak I ate over the weekend at Outback!
What are you all learning about diet. I feel like after my chemo is over I should radically change my diet. Vegan? No red meat? Raw food? Soy? Wheat grass? Dairy? Are there any books out there considered authoritative on the subject? I read so much conflicting info I don't know what to do.
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Hi, everyone! Glad to hear from so many of you! I'm doing great! My incision has finally healed! Glory hallelujah! It's been since April. I have one more "fill." I'll end up with about 410 ccs...which they say will be OK for me as I'm pretty slender. Then I'll finally start rads in early Nov.
I'm older than all of you so I'm on Arimidex. I've had absolutely no se! I'll try to get a "new hair growth" picture up this weekend. I too am sooooo sick of my wig. I might include one of those also. I'm really starting to feel great...not very tired at all. I really have a lot of energy!
Hot flashes are getting better as I'm taking Effexor.
Traci...God's best for your sister's biopsy, your hysterectomy, and the tissue expander/implant exchange. My exchange won't be until July...6 months after rads. They don't bother me too much though.
Virginia...sorry about your accident. As you say, who needs more stress!!!
Liz...Glad you're doing pretty well. Hair growth will be coming soon I bet!
Amy...great to hear from you! I've about got my eyebrows back and the eyelashes are about 1/4 inch long. I had lost both completely, but just for a short time. Head hair is about 1/2 inch, like yours, Amy! But gray...ugh!
I'm trying hard to walk everyday or so and eat more healthy (although I already did pretty well). I think it's very hard to change anything drastically. Just a change here and there and before you know it, you're into better habits!
Thinking of all of you...Lorain
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Evening everyone,
Virginia - I am so sorry about your collision! I am glad you weren't hurt and I know how much it sucks to have your car damaged (even if it IS just stuff!) My hubby rear ended someone last winter on our wretched icy roads - he was going about 10kms per hour (or 6mph) and barely hit the guy but the front end of our vehicle just crumpled like a paper bag and had to be towed to the autobody shop where it sat for about a month while the insurance company decided whether or not it was totalled (!)
Luckily, it wasn't but it ended up with about $6000 damage (our van is a 2000 and in great shape but not much book value, apparently) It was so annoying to go through all that and we were at fault! It's worse when you're the victim.Liz - glad you're feeling so good - that is great news!
Lorain - glad your incision is healing!
Amy - you weren't abducted after all!!!
Glad to hear you're doing so well.I think life has gotten in the way for LeeAnne too (must be the new BF)
Hope everyone is well (how are you Traci?)
Take care,
Mandy
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Gals...thanks for your kind words... I'm strangely unphased by my accident. Just annoyed now for the inconvenience. The car is totally drivable. Except for some scraped paint, it barely looks damaged. Can't say the same for the knuckle-head I hit...
Traci is in Atlanta w/ her sis... Thinking of you girl and sending good karma your sister's way. Please let us know how things turned out...
Still waiting to hear on the MRI. I hate waiting. Last time my gyno called me with the results. The onc nurse just waits until she sees me. I don't know which is worse? Getting bad news on the phone, or waiting for what feels like an eternity...
Mandy- how is the 'ween set up going??
Liz- I have the same question about food... I was thinking about this as I was eating chips and cheese dip yesterday at work along with mac and cheese. Then, last night I had mint chocolate chip ice cream for dinner. Somehow, I don't think this is good for me. I feel a *little* guilty after watching the gal on Oprah eating totally organic food and NO sugar or fat. I think I would be able to survive without sugar or fat.... I guess I have the same mentality with exercise. I know it's good for me buuuuuuuuuuuuuut....
Hair situation: today I tried to give myself a mini-mohawk. It actually worked! I was laughing so hard I had to get rid of it. My co-workers would die laughing. But, today, instead of mushing it down, I tried to wear the "messy" look and squish it all up. It KIND of worked...but it's still too short and wants to lay down on its side. But, I swear it grows every day. It's WILD.
Pretty soon ladies, you will ALL get sick of the wigs and go commando. It's awesome...not as hard as you might think. I know I stopped chemo a little before some of you...so you will be ready in a week or so to go "topless" I am sure!!
Be well all!!
V
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After my 2005 chemo, when my hair was growing back, a bunch of us were trying different hair products and we stumbled across this stuff called hair pomade or hair wax.
It's really sticky and you don't have to use much of it. You dip a little bit out and then rub it between your palms to coat your hands, and then run your fingers through your hair. It doesn't take much!
My hair's not long enough for it yet (still peach fuzz, but darkening by the day!) but when it is, I'm going to use that hair wax/pomade stuff again. Kind of gives your hair a rumpled look, but it looks more like an "on purpose" hairstyle. LOL
--CindyMN
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Cindy- LOL, thanks for the tip. I work for the company that makes hair care products: Dove, Suave, Sunsilk...so I've been having a ball trying all the different products... You are right, when you have very little hair, the stuff goes a lonnnnnnnnng way. There are plenty of mornings where I get carried away thinking my hair is down to my butt (like it was pre-chemo!)
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Hey girls.....
I just posted a long post on the bone biopsy thread I started on the recurrance and mets thread.
It was awful. My poor little sister. She's been through so much. She screamed the pain was so bad. They put the needle in six times. I wasn't in there of course but when she was in recovery and she came to....(they sorta knocked her out towards the end) when she saw me, she just started crying so hard. Of course, I started crying...see, I have 5 siblings, all of us are real close because .... we were poor in money but rich in love.... but Debbi and I are the youngest and we are extra, real tight because, the three in the middle went to live with dad and my oldest sis got married so, it was just Debbi and I with our mom until I moved out. Anyway, I'm getting off subject.....It just tore me up to see her like that. It's almost like we both broke down because of our cancers and the pain...and the disruption of life....and the fatigue....and the chemo....and all of the awful stuff we've both endured. It just sucks! There was an older guy there to take her to her room and he said he heard her screaming and he was fighting back the tears!
Anyway, she made it through. I'm in my 9 yr old neices bedroom and I just checked on Debbi and she's asleep in another room in front of a tv. God, I hope I never have to do that. I'm going to write a letter to find out why they didn't put her all the way under.
The dr came out and said that he thinks....they got enough to test for b9.....I freaking hope so....he also said that there did not "appear" to be any abnormal cells....God, please.....
I'm so thankful that I have all of you girls to come and talk to. I would say...I can't tell you how much it means to me but, I know, you know.
I'm sorry I didn't read back to see what y'all are up to. I will when I get home...I'm tired and I'm going to pop an ativan and try to sleep.
I'm not proof reading this either so forgive me if I don't make sense.
Love, Traci
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Traci, I'm so sorry your sister has to go through this and that you have to watch her suffer. I think it's harder to watch someone you care about in pain than to be in pain yourself. I wish I knew something to say, but I don't. I'm not sure but it sounds like there may be good news from your post? I hope so.
I'm glad it helps to be able to come here. I feel that way too.
Now that my aunt in New York has lung cancer and bone mets, I find it hard to be very happy about my own recovery. I just have to hope that they can make her comfortable for the time she has left--which could be years but I don't get too much info.
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Traci...we all pray that your sister's test is negative...I'm sure it will be. How hard for you! Thanks for keeping in touch with us so we can pray. God be with you both!
Love...Lorain
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Traci - thanks so much for checking in with us. I am so sorry that this procedure was so painful for your sister and that you had to "witness" it. I think it's a great idea to write the letter - why on earth would they let her suffer like that? Especially since they had such a difficult time! I'm glad to hear that she is resting now. I'll bet it meant so much to her to have you there. You two sound so close and have been through so much. I am basically an only child (my half siblings are 20 years younger than me and unfortunatley I don't have any contact with them). I am both envious of and touched by your bond with your siblings. It sounds like promising news though...when do you know for sure? By the way...I think the majority of us feel as you do that this board has been great and even though we've never met - I think we share a special bond and affection for each other that is hard to describe! Take care of yourself too Traci!
Virginia of the mohawk 'do - I will be so glad when Halloween is over! I worked 12 hours yesterday and the next 2 days look similar. The only reason I didn't put in as long a day today is because I had to coach volleyball this afternoon then get my daughter to soccer tonight. This is such a busy time of year for me - coaching the running team and handball team at my son's school and the volleyball team at my daughter's school, plus running and playing v-ball on 2 teams myself and work is crazy right now...yikes! My son and I are in a 5km race on Sunday - it's his first 5km run and I am so excited for him...however, I haven't run since Friday (no freakin' time) so we'll see whether or not we come in last!! Oh well, at least we're doing it!
I saw my surgeon today and I won't get my gall bladder removed until January 10th!
This will be a fat free Christmas this year (no shortbread or appetizers at parties or squares or eggnog or stuffing or nothin'!!! At least I won't gain any weight! Well, I'm bagged - gonna sit on the couch with my kids and veg for awhile...rest up for tomorrow's crazy day!
Have a great evening everyone!
Mandy
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Virginia - So sorry to read about your car accident! I personally think the cancer card should carry an automatic immunization from normal life problems. If I had any say in it that is....;)
Traci - Oh your poor sister!! That sounds so traumatic. Biopsy hell, sheer hell. Sending you both the biggest hugs, and praying like crazy for b9.
On a positive note on my end, my bald spots are filling in! Two more weeks and it'll just look like I have a crew cut. Never thought I'd be happy about that, but I can't wait!
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Oh, Traci, I'm so sorry your sister had to go through that. If I *ever* have to have a bone biopsy, I will tell them to knock me out. I agree with Liz. I think it's harder to be the witness than to go through the experience yourself. I know my cancer journey has been harder on my mom than on me. I'm glad that you can be there with your sister. Hopefully, you guys will get good news soon.
--CindyMN
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Hi gals,
One more day of rads to go!! Woohoo!!! I made a voyage into the grocery store COMMANDO today. It was wierd, but fine. I'm REALLY ready to be done with the wig. I may be a little bit premature, but I think I might just do it. A friend of mine who wears her hair spiked on top said she uses a product called "Murray's" that's intended for African-type hair. I'm wondering if it might be similar to pomade--she said it's hard to wash off your hands but it works GREAT. I think I might try some!
Virginia, what a BUMMER about your car! Sheesh! At least the guy was good about admitting he was at fault. It's interesting to be one of "those people"--the cancer survivors--isn't it? I never pictured myself in that category, but here I am.
Liz, thanks for filling me in. I'm so glad things went as well as they did. What's your next step after taxotere is done?
Traci, I'm so sorry things were so hard for your sister. She's blessed to have a sister like you, though. There's nobody I'd rather have around than my sister, that's for sure. My mom drives me crazy, but my sister never does.
Gotta run, girls, but it's good to be back.
Amy
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Hi girls.
Virginia,,,,,,,,,,,so sorry about the car accident. Goodness gracious huh? As if you need one more thing on your plate. O and by the way,,,,,,,,hubby and I are off to Vegas in two weeks......hmmmmm should I trade hubby in for George? lol Just kidding,,,,,,,,,,, My hubby has been a great support and encouragement for me........along with my son and daughter and son in law. Well my entire family and friends actually. Although,,,,,,,George is kinda cute. lol
Traci,,,,,,,,,,,,I'm so sorry about your sister. I hope there is some good news in store for her. Isnt it nice to have a wonderful sisterhood. I have two sisters and without them I just dont know what I would do. We are very close,,,,,and they too have been so encouraging and loving to me. At times when you just feel like hanging in the towel (I know I had those times during chemo), they always were there for me.
Aimster,,,,,,good to hear you have one more rad to do. Relieving huh?
I went today for my last entire breast radiation,,,,,,then on Tues I go back for the simulation for the boost,,,,,,,,,,and that will be 6 of those. So I too am winding down. I will be glad because my boob has had enough radiation. Its red and sore and I did have areas where the skin broke. But I just used the creams and all that the Doctor told me to use. I continue on with the herceptin every three weeks but thats a piece of cake. OK,,,,,,and the hair issue? I still see a lot of scalp,,,,,,,,but new hairs are coming in too. I think it just needs to fill in. And whats up with the hairs not coming in even? I have a few stragglies that are like 1 inch long,,,,,,,,and the rest (which is about 98%) is about 1/4 inch long. Yikes,,,,,,,talk about looking scarry,,,,,,,,just in time to dress up for Halloween. lol And the eyelashes,,,,,,,,well thats a different story..........I am 7 weeks out of chemo and they are still falling out,,,,,,and I only see a couple growing in. Does it take this long? omg I am so impatient huh?
And for the rest of you lovely ladies,,,,,,,,,,,keep up the good work.
Well,,,,,,,,weekend almost here............
Have a great weekend all and be safe but have fun.
Cindy
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Traci- thinking of you and so sorry that your sister was in so much pain. As the others have said, it's so great that you have each other...but it really SUCKS the big one that you BOTH have to be going through this... ARGH....
Cindy- your comments RE your hair were a RIOT! I had the same thing. At first, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me...that I had all these random stray hairs (mostly gray) sticking up all over the place... The other hairs eventually catch up!!
Say hello to my boyfriends (at the Venitian) when you go!! Seriously, it's kind of fun...I had my picture taken in a bed with Hef and I was wearing bunny ears...talk about a riot...Picked up my police report today...these small town cops are so obnoxious. I can't stand it... The damage on my car was $1700!!! ARGH. It will get fixed week after next... 3 1/2 to 4 days...I'll have to rent a car which will cost me so I'm cranky about that. It's cutting into my Manolo Blahnik shoe fund.
Amy- one more gal commando! I LOVE it!! I'm telling you guys...you are going to reach that point where you are going to ditch the wig and not wear it EVER again... I haven't worn mine since September 28th...
Had my Herceptin today...my fave nurse really jabbed me! (So unlike her...guess they all have tough times occasionally). Got the MRI results...I have a 3X3 CM cyst on my ovary and a fibroid in my uterus. Again, the onc nurse almost poo-poo'd it, so I'll have to talk to my gyno this afternoon. Ahhhhh, the joys...but it's NOT cancer, so that's a good thing!! I had a CA-125 test and a breast cancer blood test and those were both fine...next Weds is the Mammo...Gosh, I'd just like ONE week where I wasn't poked and prodded...
Okay girlies...thank you for all the support and kind words RE my car accident. The cop said to me, "Well, you weren't hurt, that's the most important thing..." and I said to myself, "Cancer...car accident...cancer sucks WAY more than a car accident..."
Happy Friday! It's supposed to be gloomy here in NJ all weekend. I guess no excuses not to clean the filthy house!!
Virginia
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- 9 The Political Corner
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- 285 Who or What Inspires You?
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- 50 Immunotherapy - Before, During, and After
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- 109 Welcome to Breastcancer.org
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