Starting Chemo in May 07

Traci-----TripNeg

PS.... I guess Virginia got married in Vegas......

VirginiaNJ

Hi Girls!!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack.  And, yes, as a matter of fact, I got married!!  This is a picture of me and my new husband, George....

LOL!!

Hugs to all of you...there were soooooooooooooooo many posts with so much "stuff" going on!  I can't even comment on everything individually b/c there was so much.  Sheesh...so much happens in a week.

But, a couple I will comment on...(((((Traci))))) so sorry about your surgery getting postponed!!  That BLOWS!  Liz...DANG about your surgery until Jan!!  What is WITH these docs?  Mandy, was it you who wrote about our "carpets" while you still have hard wood floors??  As Traci would say, I almost fell of my chair I was laughing so hard....

Got a call from my gyn with the results of my ovary ultra sound.  Was standing in the Wynn casino.  She said that they found multple cysts on both ovaries and that she was surprised b/c I am on Tamoxifen and I should have very little "ovary action."  Anyhow, she said that they all did NOT appear to be fluid filled and that she wants me to have a blood test then a an MRI of my pelvis.  I hung up the phone with her and was talking to my sister SOBBING outside the Wynn casino...  So much so that the bell hop asked if I was ok.  I was SUCH a baby.  My sister was so upset b/c she was 3000 miles away...she said doctor's shouldn't be allowed to call on vacation...  Danger of the doc having the cell phone number...  Anyhooooo, talk about a buzz kill on vacation.  I am trying not to jump to conclusions.  I see my onc nurse on Monday for my Herceptin...

Ok, enjoy the picture of my hubby and me...  My hair is actually growing around my EARS!!  This AM when I looked in the mirror my hair was sticking straight out by my ears where my glasses are!!  I am totally thinking of going to work on Monday with NO wig!!  We'll see.

Sorry for the novel.  Lots of LOVE to all of you guys.  Sorry I didn't comment on each individual post, but HUGE hugs to all of you.........

I am going to my sister Loraine's (Lorain....see, my sister has one R in her name too...but the "e" on the end!!) for a "dose of love" as she has 5 kids.

Traci--- I can totally relate to your post about not having kids...  Looks VERY grimm for me now as well.  Not that I had planned to have a baby (I'm almost 42 and there are no sperm donors on the horizon), but I would rather have made the choice rather than the "Big C" making the choice for me...  And, if I DO have a problem with my ovaries, then I am CONVINCED there is another genetic disorder than BRCA 1 and 2 (which I tested negative for)..

All right, enough whining for me...I know I am supposed to be happy after vacation!!

Talk to you all soon,

Mrs. Clooney. 

lizzzy

Congratulations on the nuptials Mrs. Clooney!

I'm so sorry you had to get that news about the ovary cysts on your vacation.  There's no good time to hear that, but at least they could have waited until you got back.  Keep us posted.  And have fun at your sister's house.  That's where I want to be when I need to talk and be loved (well, not at your sister Loraine's house, but at my sister Amy's house ;-).  

Traci, I read about pixie dust.  That is so horrible.  I felt really bad last night.  She was so young and beautiful.  It just reminds me that we are all vulnerable.  I tend to think I'm already done with cancer even though I just started chemo again.  My mind's just going on ahead to the post-chemo post-surgery stage where I can plan my race training schedules and live life like a healthy person, but my body's a little behind. 

Anyway, it's not about me, I just feel so bad for her husband and kids and that her life had to end at 34 and only 3 months after her dx.

cinrae123

Virginia,,,,,,,,,,,did  u really get married?  Congrats to you.  You are a very pretty woman and George,,,,,he is a hottie.  Im sorry to hear about the ovaries,,,,,,,,hopefully it will all be ok.

And I agree,,,,,,,I was cracking up also about the carpet and hardwood floor comment.  Toooooooo funny.

Have a great weekend all.  Today is hubby's birthday so will probably go out for dinner or something.  He is in denial,,,,,,,,,he wants to do nothing but relax today.  lol

Take care all,,,,,,,,,,,,

Cindy

Anonymous

Virginia - is that a wax figure of George?  He isn't grey enough - must be an old one!  I hope that in spite of getting unsettling news that you were able to enjoy Vegas!  If it's any help, I have a friend who was diagnosed with BC a year ago this month and she is also on Tamoxifen and she is having all sorts of lumps and fibroids on her ovaries.  They are all benign!!! but the doc gave her the option of living with them (they do cause her some trouble) or having a hysterectomy.  Apparently, Tamoxifen can make your ovaries kind of lumpy (even my oncologist said that).  So, hopefully, your ovaries are totally healthy and they won't be syptomatic.  It will all be okay.

Traci, I read the posts regarding Stacey (pixiedust) and it is so shocking!  I never read any of her posts prior to this morning but what a terrible loss.  The videos were so touching and sad.  I said to my husband - you should read her husband's post - that is why I was so depressed and worried when I was in the hospital and the fever/infection wasn't under control(sorry, didn't mean to make this about me).  I am so very sad for the loss of her life - she sounded like a pretty special person and her husband clearly loved her so much and now her boys grow up without a mother - they won't even remember her! How unfair!  I like that you expressed your true emotions on the thread too - very honest!  I've been thinking about her all morning.

Cindy - have a wonderful day/night with your hubby! 

Talk to you all later,

Mandy

Anonymous

By the way Virgina, your haur looks GREAT in your photo and if I were you, I'd ditch the wig and go to work topless - you look awesome!

Anonymous

Oops...I meant your "H-A-I-R" (not haur) looks great!

cinrae123

ok quick question girls.  I am almost 6 weeks post my last chemo,,,,,,am doing radiation now,,,,but for the past couple of days my arms have been itching like crazy.  Has anyone experienced this post chemo?  I havent changed anything in my daily routine,,,,,,,,so not sure if its chemo related.  Could it be the chemo is somehow still coming out of my system and is irritating my skin?  Sounds like a totally dumb question now that I see it in print.  Sorry bout that.  Let me know if anyone else is experiencing this.

Thanxxxxxxxxxxx

Cindy

VirginiaNJ

Mandy...LOL...I knew what you meant.  Yes, I can actually "pull" my hair.  This is quite the accomplishment!  It's growing slowly, but I hate the wig.  My two girlfriends and I will have to come up with a very clever story...

I will post another picture...me with bunny ears on a bed with "Hef."  That one's a good one as well...

Cindy...sadly my husband is made of wax...doesn't talk back to me, though!  LOL

The trip was still a good distraction.  A friend of a friend won 30K at the black jack tables and he got comped up the wazzu (spelling?)  He had suites at both the Bellagio and the Monte Carlo.  That was way cool....  It was also good to be with friends who love me...  Everyone was great.  My friend that I travel with was my Aunt Helen's best friend...  My Aunt died a year ago and was like a mother to me...  Anyhow, instead of my friend saying everything was going to be ok, she just put her arm around me and said "I think I'll just cry with you" and that made me cry, but I smiled and she did say everything would be ok...  

I'll try to post another picture of my hair...I take my picture every 21st of the month to monitor the growth.  It's actually kind of cool...when I still feel bald, I just look at the pictures from even last month, and I have dramatically "long" hair.  This picture now is 3.5 months post chemo...so, it comes back eventually.  The lashes and brows (which I only lost 50% of) came back really really fast.

I can't bring myself to read the posts of Pixiedust...  Those kinds of stories are soooooooooooo heartbreaking.  I did read others' posts and saw how young she was and leaving her babies...  Just horrifying...  I feel like such a loser for complaining b/c there are so many people, even on this board, who have had it tougher than me and seem so much more courageous than me... And I whine and complain...shame on me... 

Another long post...  I missed you guys...  You all make me feel better.  Thanks for the kind words.  I really think we could have a blast in Vegas... 

V 

Anonymous

Virginia - don't feel bad for venting and acknowledging your true feelings.  There is always someone better or worse off than us but our problems/concerns are OURS - they are relative to us!  It is perfectly okay to feel how we feel - acknowledging our blessings and being grateful for them is truly important but so is acknowledging our fears and anxieties.  I have a pretty serious fear of flying (which really sucks!) and have sought therapy in the past and if there is one thing I've learned it's to acknowledge our fears.  Ignoring them or fighting them just makes things worse.  When we acknowledge that we are afraid of something, we accept it and it has less power over us.  There - that's my sermon for the day!

I thought all day about pixiedust yesterday.  She was so young and in one of her posts, she talked about the advantage of 'being young and able to withstand the toughest of treatments'.  I normally wouldn't have read about her - I try to stay away from the darker side of this disease because I know all too well the possibilities but I found myself reading a lot about her.  So sad.

I am getting nervous about my surgery on Wednesday so I find myself in a slightly different frame of mind.  It's funny how our imaginations get going...my thoughts now are irrational - what if they don't get clean margins? What if they find more tumours?  What if my heart is damaged from the epirubicin and I don't make it through the anesthetic?  My surgery is the 10th of October - which is my friend's Dad's birthday.  He died on my birthday (years ago) what if I die on his birthday?  These are the irrational thoughts of an anxious person!  My procedure is about 15-20minutes long, all the docs seem to think it's just for insurance, my surgeon said "I guarantee they wont' find anymore cancer" - a claim that I know she really can't make but felt confident enough to do so, DCIS is not life threatening and best of all - my gut feels okay.  I can always tell by my stomach.  When I found the lump, my stomach was in knots for weeks waiting for test results.  My gut just knew and this has happened on other occassions in the past with complete accurracy and right now, my tummy is just fine.  In fact, ever since the initial surgery to remove the tumour - it's been fine!  There - speaking of acknowledging fears - I've done just that and I feel better - thanks for listening.

I think Vegas would be a blast!  As I mentioned before - we seem like a fun bunch of women on this May thread and I bet we'd get along quite well!  And on that note - I'll bet a wax husband would have it's advantages if you know what I mean (wink wink)  however, heat could become an issue!

Cindy - my armpits have been very itchy - they always got that way just before my next treamtment so I always thought it was my hair follicles waking up but I am 6 weeks post last treatment and they are still itchy but no sign of hair growth!  I assume you mean your entire arm itches? 

Did anyone notice their skin was really clear during treatment?  I never had any clogged pores at all!  I was actually happy to see a blemish the other day - meant I was getting back to normal!  Whodda thought?

Well, I'm off for a run!  A glorious 5km, slow but no stopping run in the fall sunshine...I've so much to be thankful for!

You guys rock - Happy Sunday!

Mandy

Anonymous

Has anyone else noticed my inability to write a short post? (besides this one???)

chumfry

Mandy, I enjoy your long posts. They're thoughtful and insightful.

It's normal to be anxious pre-surgery. If you *weren't* worried, THAT would be something to be worried about! LOL

--CindyMN

Traci-----TripNeg

I LOVE THIS THREAD!!!

lmao.....

Virginia, you freaked me out at first! I thought you really got married and there is no way......I can see that that is a wax man...let alone Clooney in that 1/2 inch x 1/2 inch picture! I'm so glad you had a good time....'cept for that phone call....remember...worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but, doesn't get you anywhere!

Mandy....you listening???  Your 2nd post cracked me up! I missed your post about the carpet....I wanna laugh some more....date please....so I can find it.

Cindy, I don't have itching...really however, I have noticed that I have tiny little bumps all over my belly the last two days. I'm hoping that it is a result of not washing myself as good as I normally would because my freaking expanders...which, by the way are feeling way better....so, I'll see after a few days of scrubbing like I should. I hope yours gets better soon. Let us know.

I'm calling my ps to get another fill since my surgery was canceled. Lord help me.

Mandy, I'll be thinking about you on Wed.

Virginia....so good to have you back. I LOVE the idea of the May chemo girls going to Vegas! Wouldn't that be fun!? How 'bout we plan on next year when we all have hair!!!

I gotta go to sleep...I'm tired....my niece had a baby this morning!!! Kailey Diane was born at 8:12 am. 7lbs 10ozs and absolutely perfect.

I'm so happy she lives only 30 minutes away so I can spend some time with her baby.....

It's late but the football game kept me up and then I had to see if Virginia was ever coming back! BTW, is your friend that won the $30k married???? He sounds lucky!!

I wish Cynthia would post.......

Still thinking about Pixiedust.....

Hugs girls!

Traci

Anonymous

Hey Traci,

In response to an earlier post...both of my beautiful dogs (Sam and Percy) have passed away so right now I only have two cats (Topaz and Melvin)  - but the tunnel is a plausible idea!  It was hard enough for me to even stand there with the door open while they piddled...I was like "man, just go on the floor!"  Today the weather was awesome...it was 73 degrees and just two days ago it was 28 and snowing...that's Alberta for you!  The saying is "if you don't like the weather just wait 20 minutes - it'll change!'

Congratulations on becoming a Great Aunt - that is happy and exciting news!  Can always use more of that!

I LOVE your saying about rocking chairs and worry...so very accurate!

My comments about pubic hair, is, I think on the previous page...all I said was that mine was finally growing back.  I said that I was feeling so left out hearing you guys talk about your carpets when I still had hardwood.  I'm actually more of an area rug person myself!

I hope your fill goes well.

Well, I'm tired.  I've been on my feet all day having cooked Thanksgiving dinner for 13 people tonight (hubby's family).  I had a great 5km run this morning but my feet and legs are achey tonight...gonna ask hubby to give me a nice footrub then catch some zzz's.

Good nite everyrone,

Mandy

VirginiaNJ

Cindy- after I read your post, I thought to myself that I wasn't itchy...then, last night,  I was laying on the couch...ITCHING!  Psycho-somatic (sp????).  I think I'm just plain psycho at this point.

I forgot to tell you girls that while I was in Vegas, CHEMO PAUSE STOPPED!  I got a normal raging period...  Saw the onc nurse today for my Herceptin and she was far less alarmed about the ultra sound than my gyn.  She was just like, maybe your ovaries were freaking out b/c you were getting a period.  Anyhow, they drew blood for a CA-125 test and I have to have a pelvic MRI...  That coupled with fighting with the doctors office and the insurance company.  So ANNOYING!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDD--- I DID IT!  I came to work today with NO WIG!  I feel so liberated!!!  Here are some of the comments / reactions:

1) hysterical laughter (not malicious....just an honest reaction).

2) my coworkers hugged me and said "I love you" --- they gushed

3) one of my other co-workers said I was "stunning"

4) my director said I was gorgeous...

My head is HUGE right now...  People have been REALLY nice.  Some that don't know asked me what possessed me to do it and I just say I felt like a change...  It's been awesome.  I am so glad not to wear the rat anymore...

I also got lots of goodies at my treatment today...  I think b/c it's October and BC awareness month...pink bandana, hat, pen, pins, backpack...  I cleaned up!

Ok, sorry for the ramble...  Just had to share!

Hugs to all!! 

V

VirginiaNJ

Oh, and most importantly, thank you all for the kind words when I have my mini-melt downs...    You all make me feel better....

chemo072

Virginia - congrats on going topless!! and on the end of chemopause...I keep hoping that I'll get my period back - I know the onc. doesn't want me to, but I want my normal body functions back.

Also, hope the pelvic MRI goes well - how soon will you get the results?



Mandy - hope your surgery goes well. You run, your're in good shape, it'll be fine.



and what's up with the formatting on the site today? it's all out of whack.



All my best to all - sorry to be out of touch, the darn laptop replacement adapter #2 hasn't arrived yet.



take care all

lizzzy

Vegas sounds great.  I would sooo love to meet all of you in person.

Mandy, good luck on Wednesday. I'll be thinking about you.  I noticed my skin looked great during my a/c treatments.  Not so good now on the taxotere.  My sister and I joke about how good my skin looked--I was always prone to breaking out once in a while esp. when premenstrual.  Maybe that's why I'm so clear.  Haven't had a period since about July.

I had my second taxotere today.  My white blood cells skyrocketed to 29.9.  Last Tuesday they were 1.8.  Isn't that insane?  And I have to start neupogen again tomorrow.   So far I feel pretty good-just really tired, more tired than during most of the a/c. But not too achey or nauseous.  I think my pubes are starting to fall out again.  I hope that doesn't mean I'm going to start losing my hair again.  I am getting very attached to the 1/2 inch of hair I have.

I am still thinking about Pixie Dust too.  It really hit me hard even though I never read a lot of her posts before this. 

Virginia, Loved your story about going topless.  I still don't most of the time except at home.  I love seeing women out and about with their shaved or very short hair.  But I still feel funny about it.   

VirginiaNJ

I just watched read some of PixieDust's posts and watched her YouTube video.  OMG---her story is BEYOND sad...  I cannot believe that happened to her...  Her earlier posts are so positive.  Such a freak thing to get the pneumonia.  So so so sad...

She was from my neck of the woods.  Grew up in a town only 5 minutes from me...  The town she lived in with her husband is only about 40 minutes from me.  I went to Sloan for treatment too....really scary that they couldn't save her...

Mandy- best of luck with the surgery on Weds.  We'll all be thinking of you!!

Liz- you look fantastic...about the same as me coconut-wise...  If I can go "topless" I bet you can too Girl!!

Amanda- getting my period was freaky...  I guess I'm glad.  I told my onc that I didn't want it and she said "of course you do..."  How funny... I haven't scheduled the MRI yet...but when I do and when I get the results,  I will let you gals know!!

Traci- you are a sweetie...  I love the rocking chair metaphor.  I do usually have my melt downs, but recover from them fairly quickly.  I don't want to waste too many thoughts thinking bad things....  There's enough time to do that....

Best to everyone....out of the office tomorrow at Focus Groups.  Means eating all day!!  (My weigh-in today was an all time high!!  UGH.  Too much booze and buffet in Vegas...)

I am ready to meet you gals---we would definitely have a blast.  CindyMN met her pals, I believe, in Chicago just recently...  I think they had a great time... 

Virginia 

chumfry

We had a GREAT time! It was so incredible to meet these women who I'd been talking with for nearly two years. I'm the only one who's had a repeat with cancer/chemo, and they just mobbed me with hugs when I showed up. I felt like my heart wasn't big enough to hold all their love and support.

We're already discussing when/where our next meeting will be!

--CindyMN

  

PDXLeeAnne

Hey all,

I'm just checking in. I'm nearly halfway done with rads and I'm tired and my arm is really tight feeling, but other than that it isn't any big deal. I'm staying home from work these days, trying to do a bit from home, but mostly laying around a lot. Getting showered, dressed, made up and then driving to and from rads plus dealing with my kids is pretty much all I feel capable of. Doc said I needed to take it easy, so I'm trying not to feel guilty about it.

Chemo brain has hit so hard. I really miss feeling sharp and on top of things. It's really frustrating to me, especially when I am trying to do work from home. Oh well. Not a lot of choice...

Yesterday an old acquaintance stopped by with her husband and young daughter. I went to high school with her and we've kept in touch a bit, and they were on a road trip through town and wanted to visit as it had been a few years. Since it was Sunday I was in sweats and no makeup but I figured she'd known me for so long that she could handle seeing the "real" me. Besides, I was too exhausted to make the effort, quite frankly.  Ai yi yi, some people just have no clue whatsoever. They came in, wanted drinks, wanted a snack, sucked sooo much energy from me (and didn't once ask how I was doing/feeling, etc.) and THEN she had the nerve to say to me "I have an eyebrow pencil you can have."  OMG you guys, I WISH so much I was the kind of person who could immediately come up with a good comeback. Of course I was gracious and showed her a picture of the night before when I'd gone to the symphony with a fully drawn-on face, but when they (finally!) left I turned to my boyfriend and started crying. It was so rude of her! She has no idea when I've been through. No idea now much energy it takes to get myself together. No empathy whatsoever. Beeotch.

That's my little rant o'the day.

Hairs are growing back like crazy. Upper lip, brows everywhere but the line I need 'em, bikini line, legs, etc. Too bad we can't direct our bodies to never grow hair again where we don't want it! I tried to put mascara on my new stumps today but it was sort of pointless. Another week and I might be able to really do it - hurray! 

Liz, only 2 left. You will do fine! You are such the chemo stud.

Mandy, I'll be thinking of you on Wednesday.

Virginia, a wax husband could just be the perfect thing, LOL. Fingers crossed that the MRI is all good. I'll chime in and say I think you look fabulous too!

Lorain, thinking of you - so much to deal with at once!

Tracie, congrats on your niece!

Everyone else, hang in there. We are getting through it!

Hugs,

LeeAnne 

cinrae123

Virgina,,,,,,,,,omg what a moron I am.  Well let me say that the pic was kinda small and really didnt realize that that was The George,,,,,,,,I knew my vision was bad, but good Lord Cindy,,,,,,,what an idiot I am.  lmao  I think a wax man would make a great husband.  lol

Now I am thinking the itching is from using a different bath soap.  I usually use the shower gels but ran out and used a bar soap.  Then I got some shower gels and it seems to be getting better.  Went for my herceptin today and forgot to ask about the itchy arms.  Duhhhhhhhh meeeeeeeeeeee. 

Into my 4th week of radiation and feeling good.  Went to the gym and actually walked 2,,,,,,o yeah girls,,,,,,,2 whole miles on the treadmill.  Not what I used to be able to do but Ima workin on it.

And Leanne,,,,,,,,,,omg how insensitive of your friend.  I'm afraid if it was me I would have given her a piece of my mind.  Although,,,,,,,,,some people just dont get it......unless they have gone thru it themselves.  Chin up girl.

Have a great week all,

Cindy

lizzzy

Oh LeeAnne, i don't feel much the chemo stud these days, I'm so tired all the time.  And it seems like there's no "turnaround" day on taxotere.  So I have another 6 weeks of whiny suckiness to look forward to.  Maybe this time will be better though, because I'm taking the neupogen and procrit starting tomorrow and I'm starting with a high wbc.

Some people just don't have a clue and they never will until they personally experience it, so don't worry about your acquaintance.  I have friends who have just disappeared as we all do and then there are the ones who totally unexpectedly step up out of the blue.  It's a constant surprise day to day. 

cinrae123

hey girlies.  Anyone know what happened to Aimster?  I havent seen a post from her in a long time.  I am hoping all is going well with her and thats why we havent seen her here.  And Lou too,,,,,,the gal who started the thread.

Into my fourth week of radiation.  Has anyone had any skin irritations from radiation yet?  My skin above my left breast seems a little sensitive and also under my breast it seems red and irritated.  During the really hot weather I got a rash under both breasts and used the cream for athletes feet that my doctor suggested, and it went away.  But the area under the left breast seems very dark and a little red and irritated in some areas.  Could that be from the radiation?  I guess I was thinking that the skin irritation from radiation would be on the breast and not under the breast.  I see the onc rad every Wed so I will ask him then, but was just wondering how everyone else was doing with radiation.

Had my herceptin yesterday,,,,,,,,,,,a walk in the park.  Life is so much better now that chemo is over with.

Have a great day all,

Chin up and take care of yourselves

Cindy

ps.............why is it that I am 6 weeks past my last chemo and I am still losing eyelashes?  This sucks,,,,,,,I probably have like 5 left on each eyelid.  I would think since I'm this much farther past my last chemo that I wouldnt be losing them.  Good lord

VirginiaNJ

Cindy- your post had me rolling...you are NOT a moron!!  lol  How funny if I really did get married, eh?

Oh, and someone asked if the super sweet guy that won the 30K was single...yes...and 3000 miles away from me on the "left" coast!  UGH!

LeeAnne- I can "somewhat" relate to your story...  I had a VERY dear friend and his partner come to visit me in the middle of my chemo.  While they were here, they sat on the couch and I gave them drinks, put out snacks, made pasta, washed dishes...  All the while they didn't move.  I guess it just didn't dawn on them to help.  Meanwhile, I'm walking around with my bald head at the time.  You can't be any more visually obvious then that!!!

Liz- I loved your comment RE about some people "get it" and some just have no clue.  I can also totally relate to the people you would most expect to be holding your hand suddenly disappear while the people you least expect are the ones who do.  I also totally agree with you that until you go through the experience first hand, you just don't know.  A former co-worker of mine went through DCIS (no chemo) a few years ago and now looking back I know I was not as supportive as I should have been.  She said she had the same feeling herself after she was diagnosed with one of her former coworkers.  Anyhow, short story long, she said now we all know what to do/say to friends if god forbid they become aflicted....

Ok gals, another way long winded message...

Mandy- hugs on the night before your surgery...  Keep us posted honey!!

Talk to you all soon!!

Mrs. Clooney

lizzzy

Virginia,  I have had people come over to the house to visit me and they also sit on the couch the whole time being waited on by my husband.  I thought when you go to visit sick people you bring food and help out, not expect them to entertain you.  Of course I've had plenty of people go way overboard helping us as well.  We just received two maid service sessions from my husband's coworkers.  That was one of the most thoughtful gifts yet.

I had a similar reaction to the one you talked about with the former co-worker who had DCIS.  When my Mom broke her hip a few years ago and then last year had to have surgery to replace it, I think I was not very supportive or understanding.  I mean I was there for her as much as possible, but I was always watching to make sure she wasn't taking too much vicodin.  Now that i'm on vicodin AND xanax, I think I may be a little more understanding about pain management. 

Mandy,  good luck tomorrow!   I hope you're doing well tonight and looking forward to getting this behind you.  The anticipation always seems worse to me.  Well, we'll all be thinking about you tomorrow and hoping for good news soon.  Funny, I'm getting all teary thinking about it, but I know you'll be ok.

lizzzy

Virginia,  I have had people come over to the house to visit me and they also sit on the couch the whole time being waited on by my husband.  I thought when you go to visit sick people you bring food and help out, not expect them to entertain you.  Of course I've had plenty of people go way overboard helping us as well.  We just received two maid service sessions from my husband's coworkers.  That was one of the most thoughtful gifts yet.

I had a similar reaction to the one you talked about with the former co-worker who had DCIS.  When my Mom broke her hip a few years ago and then last year had to have surgery to replace it, I think I was not very supportive or understanding.  I mean I was there for her as much as possible, but I was always watching to make sure she wasn't taking too much vicodin.  Now that i'm on vicodin AND xanax, I think I may be a little more understanding about pain management. 

Mandy,  good luck tomorrow!   I hope you're doing well tonight and looking forward to getting this behind you.  The anticipation always seems worse to me.  Well, we'll all be thinking about you tomorrow and hoping for good news soon.  Funny, I'm getting all teary thinking about it, but I know you'll be ok.

Lorain

Hi, everyone!  Sounds like many of us still have things we're going through.

Mandy - Thinking of you the night before surgery!

LeeAnne - I can't believe people can be like that!  I'm sorry for you, because we all realize how hard it is to get up enough energy to do things like that!

Cindy - Was the different soap causing the itching?  It seems like I've been itching a lot lately, but I thought it was just dry skin with fall and all.  My head (I do have about 1/2 inch of salt 'n pepper-colored hair) really seems to itch.  I wear a wig all day at school and can't wait to tear it off at night!

Virginia - I wish I could go without my wig, but I'm afraid it would scare the little kids...it scares me to look in the mirror!!! But I wish I could go without.

Liz - I was on Taxol, but it seemed to make me very tired also.

Tracy - I'm sorry to complain about my daughter when you will probably not be having children at all!  She has made that very clear...how blessed her and her husband are!

How many of you had or will be having the BRAC gene test?  I just had it but haven't heard the results.  They said it takes a month. 

Mandy - I had a bilateral mast., 8 weeks of DD chemo, and radiation (possibly both sides) because I had very lumpy and dense breasts always.  On the left side I had 2 tumors but they measure them together...anyway it was an 11 cm tumor!  Right side - only a 4.5 cm tumor, but micro-mestatis. None of the 9 nodes were positive.  They wanted to be aggressive since it was on both sides the first time.  No history in the family, BUT because of the size they are giving me the full treatment.

I went to my surgeon yesterday (it's a 3-hr drive) and she is quite certain I do not have any cancer at the incision site.  I was putting Curasol on it to keep it moist, but we decided to dry it out and it looks MUCH better all ready.  My ps would not give me a fill though, so after going 7 times to Denver, I still only have 240 cc in each!  I guess I'll be a small B cup again.  I'm 5'9" so I wouldn't mind going a bit bigger!

I'm so glad I went as now I feel much better.  The surgeon thought my radiologist was just being precautious.  Anyway, I will be starting radiation but not until the beginning of November now.

Oh, my son is a major in the Air Force, works with supply, so he will not be fighting.  BUT he will be in the Green Zone in Baghdad.  He seems to think it's safer than the American highways!  But it is a full year.  He's in Oklahoma right now training.

Thanks for all the concerns...and for reaching out when I needed it!  I didn't see anything about pixie dust.  Where is it?  Another thread?  It is soooo sad.

Thinking of all of you, 

Lorain 

 

Anonymous

Evening ladies,

Thank you all so much for the well wishes regarding my surgery tomorrow.  You guys are great!  I am still nervous and I find little things scare me (like your comment Liz - being superstitious and somewhat anxious sometimes, it seems like I'm always looking for signs...my first thought was 'Why are you getting teary?  Am I not going to make it?'  I already know the answer to this ( I will be fine)and I am so glad that we all feel so much for each other - even without ever having met or had an audible conversation.  My life is full and busy and wonderful but you guys are often in my thoughts and I thank you for keeping me in yours!  I am embarassed about my anxiety actually - here I am going in for a 20 minute procedure and some of you have been through bi-lateral masts. but as I wrote on the weekend I know it's important to acknowledge my fears.  I have to be at the hosptial at 6:15 am (!) tomorrow and my surgery will be at 8am.  I'll take the 7th Harry Potter book with me (that's my current book - VERY good!) 

Virginia - CONGRATS on going to work topless - I think you look SO AWESOME!  I'm glad you got the reaction that you did from work because you do look gorgeous!  It must feel sooooooooo good!  I actually looked at your avatar when you wrote you had a HUGE head because I thought "it doesn't look big to me?"  Then I figured it out! (d-uh)  Please keep us informed about your MRI results once you go for the test.  Also, I know what you mean about how we've shown support for others in the past.  One of my friends was diagnosed with bc last October.  My first thought was "oh no!" then I thought - oh she'll be fine!  I never called her (she told me in an e-mail) or wrote her back for awhile but took her flowers about 2 weeks later (by fluke it was the day of her surgery and she was so touched that I knew that - which I did not at all!)  I could have been so much more supportive of her - especially since she is divorced and not seeing anyone - I'm sure she could have used some company on those quiet evenings when she was alone!

Amanda - I know how frustrating computer problems can be!!!  Post whenever you can - nice to hear from you from time to time! We miss your regular posts.

Liz - I totally agree with Virginia - you could go topless too!  You look striking!  How are you feeling today?  Thanks again for the notes about my surgery tomorrow!

LeeAnne - I'll just say it - you're friend is a schmuck!  I have some like that too - lazy people piss me off in general -  I mean, who expects to be waited on?????  I agree with you about the selective hair growth.  I still have absolutley no hair growth in the armpits and I would be just fine with things staying like that !

Cindy MN- it took me a minute to realize that Virginia didn't really get married in Vegas too!  Congrats on the 2-mile walk - it's all progress to better fitness  - you'll be back to yourself before you know it!  I think Aimster must be doing wonderfully and doesn't have time or a need to vent here - good for her!  I have grown fond of you ladies so I stick around just 'cuz!  I think once I'm done all my treatment, I'd like to leave the board too and move on but I'd love to stay in touch with all of you but I don't want to have to come here to do it - I don't want to see all the topic headings - I'd like to limit my bc vocabulary and use those words far less (chemotherapy, just diagnosed, surgery, etc.) You computer saavy people must know of another place we can post and/or chat?  (Or maybe I'm alone in feeling this way?)  Regarding the skin irritation under your breast, I've been told by others that that is a common place for skin problems because there is little air that gets under there and (in my case anyways) the breast touches the chest skin so it can get really moist.

Lorain - I'll be right behind you with rads - I'll begin in mid to late November!  I hope things have settled down for your family.

Cindy KS- It sounds like your old chemo group sure has a good time together - they must be a bunch of rockin chicks like us!!

Traci - hope you're doing well!

Anyone else who I've missed - hope you're having a great night.

Well, another long post (I must be incapable of short posts) I'll post tomorrow when I get home and I'm not so out of it!

Mandy

Traci-----TripNeg

Once again....laughing, laughing, laughing. Mandy....going back to check out Virginia's big head!!! lol!! That was funny!

Can't wait to hear what a breeze your surgery was tomorrow!!!

I wish I was as funny as you guys......I'm trying to think of a joke but....chemo brain.....

Virginia....I wasn't asking if your friend was married for you....I was asking for me! Left coast of what? I'm on the left coast of Florida!

Liz, I'm so sorry you're having a hard time with Taxotere. When I did that I was exhausted and had severe lower back pain. I hope the time passes quick for you girl.

LeeAnne, here's my yucky friend story....I have a nice community pool in my neighborhood so a friend comes over to take her kids there. Every single time...she would go on for 5 minutes trying to talk me into going. Finally, I literally had to scream to her to drop it. I was like...don't you get it? I have cancer, I'm bald, I had my boobs cut off, I'm fat, I'm tired and the last thing in the world I want to do is go hang out at a pool in the 95 degree Florida heat!!!!! She has never asked me again.

Lorraine, had the test and am positive for BRCA 1. So is my little sis. Big sis  #1 is negative, big sis #2 yet to be tested. I'm glad about you incision site...this thread can get busy...I had asked you what that looked like cuz one of my scars appears to be un-healing. What was yours like?? Answer me this time woman!!!! : ) Please......

Cindy, I didn't have Rads so I can't help you girl....I have heard on many posts about skin irritations though. I'm glad you have your energy though. That's good!

I'm still covering my head for no one to see. One of these days....what little hair I have needs to be dyed though. I know I didn't have this much gray before.

And the eyelashes and eyebrows....I'm given up looking for new hair. Hopefully one day I'll look in the mirror and need to pluck them.

k....gonna try a joke.....

This little 'ole lady takes her little 'ole DH to the Dr for his check up and the Dr says "I'm going to need a urine sample, seamen (is that how you spell that??? God, it's been a while for me....) sample and a stool sample." and the little 'ole man says "whad he say?" and his wife said "He wants your underwear."