I can't get my act together and I don't know why

Daffodil

No, no messy house! I have at least 20 Garden Club members coming Tuesday! I am still trying to restore to original decor! Just put out 24 plates and forks, and remembered I'll need 24 napkins~~~of the linen variety. Sheesh...and then they'll have to be washed and ironed. {sigh}

I answered a distress call for this meeting~~~hope I'm earning some kind of points somewhere.

wishiwere

Goodness...i don't think I own 24 good linen napkins

They get cloth at my house, but I don't iron them. For that, we'd have to be holding the 'meeting' at my mothers:D

kerry_lamb

I just found my Christmas decorations.

wishiwere

Well, then, now is the time to mark them with RED big BOLD markers, or get one of those red/green boxes to store the in   Realy does help locate them a year from now

Ellen08

I feel exactly as you do!!!  I am 1 and a half months post surgery.  I have expanders and I am feeling so awful about myself and am feeling awful that I feel this way!!!    My husband was awesome when I was feeling blue, but now he's like, I'm  back to normal, and everything should be wonderful!!  I am going to my gyne for the first time post-op, and I am going to ask for antidepressants!!  I cannot get myself out of the house.  The only thing that gets me to take a shower at 2:00 is my kids will be home at 3:15!!  The kicker is everyone around me thinks that I am the most awesome person ever.  They think that I'm am beating this crapping thing to the max!!  What the heck do they know??   Am I cancer free when they take both of my breasts and I have no lymph nodes involved???  I don't even know what I should feel.  Sorry to rant, but I am sooooooo confused????? 

Daffodil

Ellen, get the anti-anxiety pills. Have an honest talk with DH. Talk to us. A lot.

Live life one day at a time, but plan on living forever, for however long forever is.

Joy will return, mainly after implant exchange...and those horrendous expanders WILL get more comfortable.

Blessings~~~

wishiwere

{{Ellen}} hang in there lady.  Daff has good ideas.  share what is in your mind and heart with your dh and your gyno.  Get the pills and with anit-dep, remember they take a while to get working..quite a while really.  In the meantime, see if they can give you a boost with the anti anxiety if you need that.  Personally, I had problems with anxiety as you said, just going anywhere on my own.  I was having trouble with tachycardia and palpation's and after a heart check was cleared to get some meds for the anxiety.  I can honestly say, it has helped 90%~ with everything.  Keep coming and talking and you will get through this stage....just takes some of us longer is all.

KAK

Hi, girls.  Hi, Patrice & thanks for the wave.  Just did a big catch-up on the bitch-and-moan thread, so I'll keep it brief here -- just big hugs to all. 

And BTW, my house once again looks like a bus wreck.  Ah, home sweet home!

Daffodil

I want to report major cleaning: I polished the old silver stuff I have on my vanity and dressing table, and I have washed all my makeup brushes and sponges.....this will really have an impact on the cleanliness factor.

KAK

Well, Daff, it will at least make you more beautiful when you are preparing yourself to face the public!!  I like to keep my hairbrush & bathroom clean at least, even when I can't manage cleaning the rest of the house.  LOL

Jane_M

And I was proud of myself for dressing up, wearing my wig and putting on makeup for my in-laws' 50th wedding anniversary party.  You guys make me look bad!

KAK

Jane, it's all relative!  If I had to put on a wig, too, that might be too much for me.  There are days when I can't find two socks that match.

sueper13

KAK,

They make socks that match?

wishiwere

Yes sue~  One for you and one for your washer monster

Imasurvivor

I cleaned off my bathroom vanity and polished the granite.  That's all I got done all weekend.  I still feel guilty for not getting more done, but it does cheer me up to use the bathroom now!  My house was clean enough before my cancer that I would let anyone drop in anytime.  However, my 22 year old son moved home the month I got diagnosed and between my depression and fatigue I have given up.  He has taken my "show room" living room and turned it into a messy boys dorm that smells like feet, sweat, and cigarettes (he is not allowed to smoke in the house but it comes in on his clothes).  I won't even begin to b*&%h about what he did to my guest room.  It would make me have a stroke to discuss it.  I was always so proud of my home and now I am nothing but ashamed.  It is nice to know that I am not totally alone.

Jane_M

Ima - I, for one, am proud of you.  I can't get anybody in my house to clean up to even my low standards.  Is it too much to wash the darn toothpaste out of the sink?  I know I'm not the only one in the house that brushes my teeth.  I also understand the theory that it saves energy to run the diswasher when it's full, but couldn't they at least take the dishes out of the sink and put them in the dishwasher and then run it?  Do the dishes really need to stay in the sink for 3 days? 

Am I the only one who doesn't have enough energy to do this herself?  I feel like such a failure for not being able to take care of my own house.  Thank God I had my last chemo today.  I still have 6 1/2 weeks of radiation and a 2-hour round trip commute to get it 5 days a week, but I am hoping I will get my strength back soon.  I see women on the thread who are running miles and I have all I can do to walk from my car to my office.  It makes me feel like a lazy slob.  The energy level does eventually come back, right?  It does get better, right?  Am I just not pushing myself hard enough?

Imasurvivor

Jane, I'm with you.  I feel so guilty when I read about other women who are still jogging, going to the gym and doing aerobics.  I am so tired that I fall asleep at my desk and even fell asleep during my rads tx the other day which takes all of 5 minutes!  My onc told me it could be a year after chemo before I feel like my old self.  It is all so depressing.  If it was my messes I think I could clean it up, but I am so mad and hurt that my son is so disrespectful that I cannot bring myself to continue to clean up after him. 

KAK

Sueper & Wish, LOL about the socks!!!

Ima, I feel not too bad these days & yet I am still mentally overwhelmed about trying get ahead on the housework.  I'm not even up to date on my cancer bills yet.  It does get better, it has gotten better, but I think it's a lot slower than we can imagine & your perspective & priorities change so much, you aren't motivated by the same things anymore.  Who gives a bleep, in the final analysis, whether anyone thinks we're lazy or not?  We're trying to outlive cancer, after all.

wishiwere

Good gosh ladies!  Be kind to yourselves. Sorry, I can't remember the age of your son, Ima, but for goodness sakes, either he cleans up after himself at least, or let him pay someone else to do it!  i have heard (had no rads myself) that it can be a good year before you full energy levels return ladies. Please take care of you first and foremost!

sueper13

I can't get caught up either, and I finished chemo in August and rads in October....I start out every Saturday morning with the best of intentions but end up reading a book or watching television when I should be doing housework.  BUT I have two friends from high school coming to visit the first week of  February, and that will get me motivated...maybe....

KAK

I used to work with a woman whose philosophy, paraphrased a bit, was basically that, on our deathbeds, none of us are going to regret that we didn't spend more time cleaning the house.  I've never forgotten that.  So, when I get on my own case, I remind myself of that.

wishiwere

I've heard that saying before Kathi.  Have to say, I live by it   My house is always in disarray

KAK

Me, too!  All I needed was a good excuse!!  LOL

wishiwere

Probably why we get along so well   I blame it on mom, b/c she always had such a clean house, bbut I never knew how.  We were all so involved in sports, scout, lessons and so on, it seemed that the house cleaned itself, right?

GramE

Every time I get my apartment neat and tidy, no one comes to visit.  When it is in total disarray, people come by in droves... go figure.   I used to go by Flylady.com plan to keep ahead of clutter and dirt, but gave that up.   Their basic idea is that you/we can do most anything for 15 minutes - set the timer and don't stop until the buzzer rings.   I used to set my standards very high - but if there is a path to the bed and bathroom, I am content now. Living alone helps since no one is going to yell at me for a messy place.   HUGS,   Nancy  

wishiwere

Isn't that the truth, Nancy~ Minute I get lazy, someone I would never want to visit under those circumstances shows up! Clean and you are alone in the world

EWB

Clean or pick up?  Big difference...as long as bathrooms and kitchen have been cleaned once in a while, I'm happy....the rest can wait.

wishiwere

And wait, and wait and wait some more   Yes, clean laundry, bath and kitchen are needed

GramE

today is clean sheets - hope I still qualify for this thread !!  And I did not say they were getting washed today - put clean set on, threw dirty ones in laundry basket.  

EWB

I suppose you're right- clean laundry- but do I have to fold it?  we sort of live out of baskets unless I get burst of energy