2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

ravdeb

Well Girls...

I was told that I look chic in my Mary's Little Lamb hair. It's growing...but it's funny looking and not full. I need fullness!!! But it's very short..but very curly on back and sides..still no curl or much length on top.

hair down south is not growing in very well and it's definitely not dark...just more white but not much. Could be my age???? Or, it just can't decide if I'm in puberty or menopause?

Leg hairs are long I suddenly noticed but once again...white!! and not very many! gotta look really close to find them. I really WILL look like a lamb if things keep up like this! Better stay away from all the shepherds we have in our area :-)

Don't have too many eyelashes these days and the brows are thinner than usual. No big deal. For some reason, this hasn't bothered me....yet!

Graycie..sure hope my tingling goes away!!! So far I have it and it has moved to my legs, too! Also in my hands and not just my fingers. But I can live with this.

Terynsmom..is it your birthday? If so...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Laura..how are you doing? Any appetite? I have the munchies. We should take a bit of each other's appetites! Sounds like it could be connected to the thyroid problem.
How was your simulation/tattoo session??

ravdeb

ake

paula....mine came back way thicker than before too. i'm scared to get it bikini waxed because i think it's going to hurt like hell. ah, the price of beauty

i also have this soft, white fuzz on the sides of my face...i heard that happens after chemo and it falls out...but, um when? i am fuzzy! anyone else?

Paula15089

Amy, i am fuzzy too. Not so much now as i was about a month ago. If you looked at a certain angle, it was like i had fur or something. Apparently it is a usual occurance during hair growing stage... great. I sort of tried waxing, but couldnt grab much, the hair is just so fine. Its getting less and less though.



dont we have to worry about strangest things???



hey, i've just noticed that practically everyone on our thread has an avatar now!

RoseMarie

Terynsmom - tacos in the motor home sounds like soo much fun! I know the kids enjoyed it!
I can so relate to feeling unfeminine - I also feel old - oh, and fat...I know my weight gain is from eating all the junk I've been eating. I don't think my appetite has increased, just stress! Being home all day every day hasn't helped!
Tracy - sounds like you had a wonderful weekend!! How great is that?!!
Have an appt. with the Lymphedema PT on April 13... hopefully I can get some answers. I only have very slight swelling in my wrist so I'm hoping for the best... Now I'm learning all I didn't want to know about lymphedema!
Well, hope you all have a great day. Hoping to have a fun day with my kids in spite of the rain!

TracySeattle

We are such a good group of ladies! Thanks so much to all of you for being here for me! As you have probably seen, there has been some controversy on the other threads, I am just so glad that we all get along so well and that we are always here for each other.

(((hugs)))

marymelodi

Glad to catch up with all of you just now. I agree. This is a great group of interesting, kind, and brave women! So happy you have been here all through the long winter of treatment.

Just going to report that I am okay. About halfway through the radiation now. Feeling tired and discouraged but I'm trying to take it in stride and realize that it's just a step toward the end. Treatment area is red and itchy, aches down deep. Re. eyebrows - I can feel them, just can't see them well. My hair is growing okay on top, not so well on the sides and front. I go topless at home and in my car. Not brave enough to do it fully in public yet.

Wishing everyone well and a happy day!

debbie444

Thankgoodness I am not alone with the fuzz - thought i was on hair overload! My 'southerly' hair seems to be thicker too. Who else could you discuss things like this with - what a group!!

Does anyone know if it is completely safe to go back to the waxing / dilap creams? All of a sudden i see hidden risks in everything!

Tracey - dont do many other boards - are they a seething mass of intrigue????? The mind boggles!!

Will have to have another pic of new hair taken and get rid of the one in the wig.

Debbie

maryannecb

I love this thread too, sometimes topics on other threads get very personal and heated. I hate that. I feel we each have been allowed to bring a little bit of our live to each other.If someone asks a question or has a problem we deal with it.

It has been nice to see the heads start to grow hair again and each of us get liberated from chemo then rads...

Our next challenge will be to slip back into as normal a life as we can find post cancer. I feel I will have to find a place in my head for my worries and let the rest of my head take my life back. For six months I have been dealing with waiting for tests, getting chemo, getting over chemo etc. I am hoping that in the next six months my new balance will tkae over. I am hoping that a lot of this will be like a bad novel that I finished and don't want to read again.

My hair is thinning bc last weeks chemo...you can easily see my scalp. Perhaps I went topless too soon. But it is hard to go back to covers.

My hotflashes are furious today, 1-2 /hour. Anyone else getting them? My weight is 20 lbs up, I look positively matronly and hate it.

On the positive side...ahhh, don't have one today.

Fists up!

ake

debbie....i have have happily waxed my eyebrows twice and used a cream on my upper lip to get rid of hair. i think it's fine how crazy that we're worried about REMOVING hair now

Anonymous

Ravdeb, yes today was my birthday. I am sitting here with a headband on that has Rabbit ears attached to it since my daughter would not let me wear the princess crown. According to my daughter, you have to have hair to wear that one, rabbits don't need hair so I get this one.



We went camping in our motorhome and read books and took a long walk. Too long. Both of us were complaining ... one of us had to pretend her feet didn't hurt to keep the other one going. I must remember that you have to walk back no matter how good it feels to be walking amongst the trees, bunnies and squirrels!



Can you girls believe I drove a 36' motorhome???? My friend came down and showed me how to 'hook up' and put the awning out. Then he had to come back and put it all back tonight. hehe and it's all so funny since I work at an RV place!!!



Well, girls, I am glad we are worrying about ourselves again and our vanity instead of our lives ....... for today anyway.



I am also so glad none of us has turned Stage 4 ..... Thank the LORD for you all and Thank HIM for our health.

debbie444

Hurrah - finished rads today!!!!!!!!!
I have an appointment to go and see cons in 4 weeks and am waiting to hear from a different consultant about the ovary thing. Feel sort of liberated but in limbo at the same time. My test results came back - i cant take herceptin. That is one less thing to have thrown at me i guess.
Both of the kids spent the night being copiously ill (to put it nicely!) so not in work today. They both seem better now so we are going to sit out and enjoy the spring sunshine.
Take care
Debbie

sherryhaire

PT Therapy for lymphadema is so much more than I thought, ladies take care of yourself and protect yourself from this. Mine is a mild case at this point but don't want it to get any worse, lots of massages

RoseMarie

Hehe...still laughing about the bunny ears! I'm glad I don't do too many other discussion boards...I hate conflict and don't need any more stress in my life!! Glad to hear your kids are feeling better today Debbie!
My eyelashes are falling out again and my eye lids are puffy...again. Lots of mascara today! so funny because I NEVER wore mascara before. My mom's from Spain, Dad's from Cuba...I have always been very hairy...(not sure if my ethnicity plays into this or not...)
Oh well, off to the Indianapolis Zoo!! Have a great day ladies!

RoseMarie

I keep hoping I'll get to the PT and she'll tell me it's nothing! How's that for wishful thinking. I can't imagine having to worry about lymphedema now for the rest of my life!

Anonymous

Ok, how do we get lymphedema?

debbie444

Thats just what i was wondering! How do i know if i have it?
Debbie

ravdeb

Terynsmom... sounds like you had a fun birthday!

I am not going to get lymphedema so I don't need to know about that stuff!!!! hahaha! Well, that's what I hope at any rate. I think you will know you have it if you are sore or swollen in the surgery side arm.

So ladies..I was at the orthopedic oncologist today and he says that my leg pain doesn't seem to belong in the oncology dept!!!!! He sent me for an urgent x-ray and looked over a previous MRI that I had done before chemo and is now sending me off to do a CT on my back. He wants to see if I have nerve damage that is causing the pain. He thinks it may be from the Taxol and that it should go away, but he wants to check it out.

At any rate, he said that it appears that I have benign enchondroma. He said there's nothing to do for this. So, of course, I looked it up on the internet and there is a very, very , very low chance that this could become cancer. I need to ask him more about this when I see him the next time. Sounds weird to me. Anybody familiar with this?

Still itching and there was nobody to talk to about this and we were running late. Guess I will wait til my skin doctor returns from her vacation...

debbie..congrats on finishing rads!!!!

Rosemarie..I noticed I have VERY few eyelashes left and my brows have been thinning a lot lately too. I just use eyeliner on my eyelids and that seems to do the trick for me...I wear glasses anyway (I know, I know...no glasses in my avatar...my eyes were whacko at that time and glasses were worse than no glasses!)and a bit of shadow.... I'm not much into make-up.

Maryanne..what is normal??? I was telling myself all the time...I don't think that every pain I have is related to cancer...boy was I fooling myself. Every time I have something wrong with me I immediately think it's more cancer. With this rash...this morning I put my hand on my neck and practically screamed! I felt a lump! OMG!! I showed my dh and he said..it looks like part of the rash stuff. So, I showed that orthopedic onc and he agreed..just a bite or a rash. WHEW!!!!

At any rate...not sure I've ever BEEN normal so....not sure I can return to normal!!!

Have a wonderful day, everybody!!!
ravdeb

marymelodi

Terynsmom: Happy to read about your fun birthday. You seem like such a loving mother and like you really enjoy your daughter. Good for you!

Rosemarie: have fun at the zoo! Guess you are taking your kids on an outing.

I have not used eye make-up for a while because my eyes seem continually watery. I just think I would end up with streaks of make-up running down my cheeks. Has anyone else had watery eyes? No, not teary eyes, just more moisture than you expect.

I did begin to get teary yesterday talking to the nurse practitioner about the end of radiation in 3 weeks. I found myself feeling fearful about "what's next?" I know some of you have mentioned this fear before. I've been so geared up to get treatment and do everything they said to do but now that the end is in sight, I'm a little scared, I guess. How do you cope with that? She tried to reassure me that they will be keeping a close eye on me with appointments every 6 months and the medical oncologist will also see me every 6 months. So, if the timing is right I'll see one of my breast cancer docs every 3 months. Are the rest of you going to have a similar schedule of check-ups?

Anonymous

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TERYNSMOM!

Can you please post a pic of you wearing the bunny ears? LOL Did you see the movie w/Lucille Ball and the camper! This is what I envision with you and your camper. LMAO You are quite a trooper!

Graycie -
I think I'm in menopause - haven't had a regular period in about a year. My hormone levels indicate I am, but my Gyn. says you can't go by that. Hot flashes aren't as frequent. But maybe that's from taking the Tamoxifen. I'm so confused. You're right, maybe the "no appetite" is from menopause. With all that we have going on, how the heck do we know what to blame anything on!

ravdeb -
Hi fellow rads camper! I had the CT plan done yesterday and will have the tattoos done on Thursday. I'm glad your leg pain doesn't seem to be anything serious, but don't you just hate not having definitive answers. I always seem to be left with more questions when all I really want and need are answers. I wish things were more "black and white". Urghhhhh. How's your little lamb doing! LOL

Paula - Amy -
Hi there! I too have the face hair happening! I was in the sunlight plucking my eyebrows and noticed it! It's like long peach fuzz?!? Yikes! I'm just happy it's not salt & pepper like the top of my head. OMG LOL As for down south, let's just say I will definately be waxing for my upcoming trip.

marymelodi -
How could you not be teary-eyed! Look at all you've been through! Fear has struck hard! I have decided that I will never be able to rest assured - ever in my life again! That life is over. I've stopped trying to talk myself into believing that day will return. That will never be reality again, atleast not for me. It's great that you only have 3 weeks left of rads - I'm envious. My Onc. wants me to have a 3-month appt. (June) and then after that it will probably be one 6 months later.
Laura

maryannecb

I am not sure what followup I will have yet as I am a little behind you Marymelodi.

Terynsmom how brave to drive an RV. Backing up must be the stuff of nightmares.

Ravdeb will you ever stop itching? What if original doc was correct, wouldn't hurt to treat for that....I know ,don't even think about it but?

Lymphedema is unusual unless you have had two level lymph node dissection(with SNB it is rare). Chances increase with axillary radiation. Anything that obstructs your lymph nodes can lead to it. Basically what happens is that your lymph drainage has been screwed up b/c original surgery. With a further insult-infected cut, tight blood pressure cuff, IV. lifting heavy weights, burns and other things-your compromised system is unable to handle normal amounts of fluid that goes to the arm. The arm becomes swollen ,sore and reddened.
Once it develops it is difficult to treat and may lead to chronic pain. So especially people who have had the ax nodes dissected and even those with SNB only avoid the things I have mentioned.It is a nasty complication and can even happen several years later.

I am over my last chemo SE today, I feel great. Life is good.

Fists up!

TracySeattle

Mary-Anne! I am so glad you are feeling good! The worst part is over for you and you made it!

I have been feeling really good too, even tho I am in the midst of Rads.

sherryhaire

I only had a couple lymph nodes removed when I had bi-lateral, but arm has slight swelling Plastic surgeon recommended therapy so it wouldn't get worse, I moved to another place a few weeks ago and probably did to much so ladies do be careful I thought I was and now this. I have to go to therapy twice a week for 8 weeks. Lasts about 1 and 1/2 hours each time lots to learn that I did not know, Therapist says lymph problems can cause face,arms,legs anywhere to swell, thought my puffy face was from lasting chemo effects. anyone else experiencing this?

Anonymous

DO I FREAK OUT NOW OR NOW?

I had a CT (chest, abdom. pelvis) done last Friday (just for post-chemo baseline). The last one I had done was just after dx - back in September.

Onc. just called - he says it's nothing to be concerned about, but some "spots" (his words) showed up on my lungs! He knows I am extremely paranoid - so he said I shouldn't worry. But how could I not worry, the spots weren't there on my previous CT. He said I need to have a follow-up CT in 3 months. I am, needless to say, somewhat freaked out right now. I wish I didn't hear this just before my vacation!

Laura

TracyNY

Don't freak Laura. It won't change anything. Enjoy your vacation, the spots will either be there or they won't when you get back. This is not to invalidate your concerns but I had a spot and they thought it was sarcoidosis. I had a follow up and it was gone. They said it must have been a touch of some cold virus or something.

Happy B'day, bunny ears Terynsmom. Sounds like you had a great day.

Now where is MY hair?! Everyone shaving and waxing and I still look like I escaped from Chernobyl.

sherryhaire

Has anyone had withdrawl pains from Chemo? Let me explain at least when I was on Chemo I felt I was doing something to beat this beast but now that it is over I am so worried that it will come back and I won't know it!! Asked Onc if I should be having any tests now that chemo is over and he says no

debbie444

Wahay - the British spring sunshine turned to snow yesterday and back to sunshine again today - dont you just love it!!
I had 28 lymph nodes removed so guess i will have to read the above carefully and not be too blase. I realised while looking at it for swelling that feeling appears to be coming back in my elbow - thats seem s strange as have had no feeling since op last May due to nerve damage. In fact the numb areas seem to be getting smaller - just a bit under my arm and on my back near my shoulder blade and rear of arm.
My fuzzy face isnt disappearing but no one has commented on it so maybe its just me studying it too hard!!

It was so good to be able to take the kids to school myself today now rads has finished- to regain some of my former self! After the Easter break i will be working morning again rather than afternoons so will have my old routine back again!!

Tda - heres sending you positive hair vibes


Laura - dont panic - easy for us to say i know! If the Dr had an inkiling it was anything major he wouldnt be kicking his heels for 3 months!!

My son told all of his class the other day that B.C in history stood for Before Cancer. His teacher is one of my friends and she said he wasnt upset - just wise beyond his 8 years. I guess there is only so much you can protect them from.

R.V - a motorhome right? Catching onto this foreign language!!

Debbie

ravdeb

Laura..
I say...no freaking out!!! Go on that vacation and enjoy!!! If they thought it was something BIG, they'd do something about it and not put you off for 3 months. But, then...this is easy for ME to say and I do feel for you. Still... it's Spring so I say enjoy the flowers and the warmer weather and your vacation...

Maryanne...nope..I won't be going along with the first doctor's thinking that it is scabies. My skin doctor has checked me several times and agrees it's the allergic reaction to the Taxol and doesn't look like scabies and nobody else in the house is itching so....

It is not a pleasant thing cuz now it's getting warmer outside and I have these dreadful red spots on my arms and upper chest and neck.... I can't wear short sleeves yet (luckily it was cold today!!)cuz it's so dang ugly!!!

By the way...great new picture, maryanne!

ravdeb

marymelodi

sherryhaire:
Yes, I know what you mean. Talking to the nurse practitioner at radiation on Monday I started to cry just thinking of the end of treatment on April 24. I told her I don't know what to do now regarding fighting cancer. She was extremely kind and reassuring. She outlined all the medical follow-up I will have for the next 5 years and told me they will give me all kinds of information about what to do for myself. I will be seeing my family doctor next week also and will try to have the same type of conversation with her, also. It is an insecure feeling to go from "fighting" mode to "recovery". I'm trying to plan how I can be as healthy as possible but feel unsure I really can do what needs to be done.

maryannecb

Hi,

Hope you stop itching soon Ravdeb , at least get it cleared up for your trip.

Ithink I lost half of my new hair this week. I don't care,
I shall remain topless!

Breast cancer survivors in my region have a dragonboat team. It is a large canoe like boat that holds ?15 women. They have started dryland training. I went to aerobics class last night. I was the youngest in the room and the only barely haired head. It es the first time I have been with a group of BC survivorsm many wer 5+ years out. They still worry so I don't think we are going to feel strong anytime soon. The exercise was difficult. The lady who taught the class was the same instructor I had 25lbs, I mean 5 years ago. We will get together for training 2 times a week and some will compete in various festivals through the summer. I am not sure whether I can muscle my way, physically on to a boat yet. I will try and it was great to sweat again, well I do sweat with hotflashes but it is not the same. Do they have Dragonboat teams in your area? It might give you something positive to work on.

Now that we are finishing our active phase we can start to say we had cancer and move into life beyond this. I am planning to plant a new garden at the cottage and redecorate two bathrooms. Do you have any plans?

Fists up!

ake

laura...hang in there. enjoy your vacation no matter what. it's hard to just surrender control, but if your doctor is not freaking out, than try to stay calm (it's easier to give this advice i know than to hear it) just hold on to the fact that he said not to worry. i'm sorry you have to go through any stress. sometimes, the good things about vacations are that they make you forget everything back home. please try to enjoy yourself!!!

i had my 3 month follow-up appt. yesterday with my onc. she said everything is great and "the odds are in my favor". i'm trying to hold onto that, but it's hard. i was a freakin' crazy person yesterday going to see her for the first time since chemo ended...i got lost at georgetown, forgot my referral, completely disorganized and nuts. but, i made it through it. i think i had really been enjoying not being a cancer patient for a bit...it was hard to go back to being checked all over again.

i'm in the middle of studying for my psychology boards....beyond stressful. i'm trying not to get caught up in this whole crap notion that stress can cause cancer. it's so annoying that i constantly wait for this thing to come back all the time...no matter what i do and when i'm stressing about something non-cancer related like my boards, i end up relating cancer to it. i just can't get away from it!

-amy