2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

Anonymous

ok DEBBIE, what is the village green???

Anonymous

Wow - lots going on for everyone!

I finally convinced my Onc. to let me have a CT (chest abdom, pelvis) and a Brain MRI (because I am so paranoid). I am going to ask my PCP to rx a Bone Scan.

The Brain MRI looked good. A 6mm cyst was noted, most likely benign - Onc. says we don't need to do anything about it.

I had the CT done this morning - and will get the results in a few days. That Barium is nasty!

Also, I had a Thyroid blood test done because I am always cold and feeling quite fatigued. My levels came back elevated so I am waiting for my PCP to call me and tell me what the next step is. Do any of you have Thyroid problems?

Monday I have Rad. Simulation. How long does it take? I forgot to ask.

I know all of you understand...this diagnostic stuff, ovary stuff, blood tests, etc., etc., is so time consuming and frustrating. I know it's necessary, but I am so tired of it all. I leave for Mexico soon - April 9. Return home April 16 and start Rads. April 17.

ALSO - I had blood taken for the BRCA Gene test. I will get those results when I get back from MX. If it's postive - I have to meet w/GYN to discuss my options.

Thanks for listening!
Laura

Graycie

Hi Laura,
I know what you mean about being paranoid. I am sure all your tests will come out fine...I have one week of radiation left. Today I had a bad day I was getting my radiation and out of the blue the tears started flowing for no reason. I was hoping they didn't notice but they did. I got up to leave and the girl ran after me to see if I was OK....How embarassing! I told her I didn't know what was wrong with me that I was just having a bad moment. I think it is really getting to me, everything that we have all been through. I guess I was just feeling sorry for myself. I am sure tomorrow will be a better day!
As far as the radiation, there really is nothing to it. Simulation will be your longest day you will be there and that only took about a half hour, if that. The hardest part for me is having to keep my arm over my head but I am short(5'4") so I had a hard time reaching the bar they have you hold on to. You may have no trouble at all.
I haven't had my thyroid tested but I have been cold too ever since chemo which is unusual for me. I did have the CT scan and your right about the barium stuff, YUCKY! It certainly sounds like your doctor is being thorough which is good.
Mexico is just around the corner. Lucky you! You deserve a break...Boy, I should have made this a PM..HA... Graycie

debbie444

Mary anne - my consultant has been shouting for the results since october, they are retesting everyone who he has treated in the last 18 months to see if any are suitable so mine are out there somewhere. He is going back to family in Pakistan tomorrow and has told me that if i dont hear anything in the next 3 weeks, i have to ring his secretary daily and pester her. Boy, am i going to be popular!! You seem to have a handle on medical matters - if i was to have my ovaries removed as is being muted, would herceptin ( if i was suitable) still be on the cards ? Not sure how it all works and we ask the consultant stage at a time rather than miles in front. Thankgoodness i am not responsible for sourcing my own care - i would be the one still wondering how to get into the hospital car park!!
Only 2 more rads to go - dont think my poor skin can take much more without breaking down. Fortunately it isnt itching, just so red and sore i swear it glows in the dark!!! My head tec has warned me it will continue to get worse for 2 weeks after the teatment - thanks a lot!!

Sam is a yorkshire terrier X shi-tsu, only he thinks he really is as big as a lab or alsation. Cant quite work out that hes only small and not actually that scarey!!

DEbbie

debbie444

Terynsmom - the village green is not used over there?
Its an area ( usually in the middle o the village)often near the village shops which is open and green and people tend to congregate. Usually there are trees, kids play area , duck pond etc. Ours is quite big as we have fishing ponds, tennis courts and a bowling green as well . In the summer we have our village fete there.

Strange which words arent universal isnt it!!

Debbie

ake

ravdeb....the itching took about a month post chemo to stop. all of a sudden, it went away. are you taking any glutamine? i took 10mg a day 3x a day and it worked wonders.

laura...so jealous of your trip! you're going to have so much fun...just being away is sometimes all it takes. don't be nervous about rads...after chemo, it's really easier. the simulation thing is not too bad...just really boring and hard to hold still. think of little games you can play in your head and that will make the time go by fast.

graycie...i start crying for no reason sometimes too...i've noticed i do it a lot when i do yoga and i meditate. it all comes back to me or something. i think i cry because during yoga, i'm really concentrating on my body and when i do that, i get sad...sad of what it's been through. i'm also trying so hard to remember that my body is safe again...it's the weirdest thing to feel unsafe in your own body...not know what's going on inside, etc. i'm just trying to make peace with this whole experience and accept that this is what happened in my life...so hard to do sometimes.

it's okay to feel sorry for ourselves...we deserve to! and it's okay to cry...releases all the tension we've been holding on to for so long. the post-treatment phase is a lot harder emotionally i think...because we're just releasing all that we've been holding in for so long just to get through all this crap. when we finally catch our breath, i think it's good to fall apart a little!

how's everyone's hair doing?

-amy

Anonymous

Debbie, you are so funny! I think you would manage to find the 'car park' ! Regarding your ovaries and herceptin: you would still get H because it has nothing to do with your ovaries .... you would not have to take Tamoxifen if you have your ovaries out.

Amy: my hair is slow growing, except on the shin area of my legs. I have to shave along that bone area again! Just where I needed hair!

RoseMarie

Regarding hair...not sure but my hair feels thinner today! I went topless to my last chemo and it was actually quite fun. (can't remember if I already shared that) It's still sooo gray. Hair on my arms and legs seems to come and go. So crazy! My fingernails are so dark and ugly. My bones ache... I really am happy to be done with chemo, I guess I should notify my face!!!!
The "village green" sounds like a very "cool" place.
We were enjoying warm weather and sunshine yesterday - met lots of neighbors that have been hibernating! I can't wait for summer!

Graycie

Thankyou ladies for your support......I feel alot better today.
Speaking of hair mine seems to be at a standstill. I am sure it is probably growing but at a very slow pace. I think I am with you Rosemarie. I thought it was coming in black but I see alot of white or grey in there, unless it is blond, yeah right, no such luck! I only had a couple strands of grey before I lost my hair to chemo which I felt I was lucky since I am 56. You are young though so you shouldn't be grey, hopefully. Maybe it just looks grey or it hasn't gotten it's pigment yet. Well, you can always wish!..Congradulations on going topless. I am going to be wearing a wig for a long time. I haven't gotten up my nerve yet besides I don't look good without hair...Graycie

Anonymous

Graycie -
I'm glad you're feeling better today. Thanks for the rad. info. I'm only 5'4" too, so holding onto the bar may be just a bit difficult for me as well. At this point - what CAN'T we bear? Congrats - next week is your last! So very happy for you.

Amy -
My hair is now salt & pepper and about a 1/4" all over! How about yours? I want to post an updated pic this weekend.

Debbie -
Your pup is a cutie!

Laura

Anonymous

My PCP called and I will need to start Thyroid meds. tomorrow - and probably take them for the rest of my life. Normal thyroid level is 3.5 - 5.0 - mine is 16.8!

No wonder I am always freezing my butt off!

And, I have been quite fatigued lately. I blamed it on the chemo, but Onc. said it should be out of my system by now.

Laura

Graycie

Thanks Laura, Only 3 more rad treatments. I have to say the time does go by fast. My hair is also salt and pepper and 1/4 in long. Sorry to hear you have to be on thyroid meds. Are you losing weight or gaining?
Graycie

Anonymous

I am temporarily on tamoxifen and seem hungrier than normal. Is it the rainy weather or the meds??

Graycie

I am hungrier than ever and I'm not on anything....Believe me it is starting to show too.

Anonymous

Hi Graycie -
I haven't gained or lost weight. They checked my Thyroid levels because I complained about always being cold and I am very fatigued. Hope you're having a good weekend.
Laura

2up

this will probably sound dumb to all of you, but i am coming up on my last taxol on wednesday april 5th and looking veeerrryyy forward to it!

i wanted you all to know that when i first came to these boards, it was your thread that i followed (starting in november), until i got my own treatment plan. your strength and candor amazed me then, and still does today.

you guys are a great group and continue to inspire me to this day and i wanted to let you all know that! not sure why i posted this except that i felt really compelled to share my thoughts with all of you..........you were a lifeline and sometimes still are, even though you never knew it! sometimes i felt like a "voyeur" on your thread, but i always checked in because i found so much comfort here...........so thanks i geuss, is what i wanted to convey to all of you, i hope you know what i'm trying to say (blush). you guys were far enough ahead of me that i couldn't join in, but at the same time i could identify and learn................you guys could be a mastercard commercial.........."priceless".........michelle

Paula15089

Michelle,
congrats on finishing your chemo!

Well, i went topless outside for the first time yesterday. Went to a shopping centre with a girlfriend... It was a non-event really. No stares, no comments, no questions. But i really do feel very un-feminine though. It doesnt help that my rads area is extremely painful and the dark red shows up pretty high on a chest, so i cant even wear many clother that i normally would.

take care all!

RoseMarie

Michelle, so glad you're nearing the end! Thank you for posting! You are too sweet and I'm so glad you found comfort here.
I have gained 14 pounds I'm not really hungrier (I'm not on anything yet either...) but just want to constantly munch!
Paula, you look great!

Anonymous

Michelle, Woo-hoo for you! I am two weeks out from Taxol and still tired, so don't despair if you are tired. I think my body even had 'sympathy pains' for itself last week. It was so weird, my bones were hurting and I got a headache ..... all of it on Thursday! Thank you for your kind words. It's too bad we all are going thru this but at least we can hold hands thru this Valley of Darkness and the Unknown.

Paula, I have 'hair-envy" !!!!

Well, I got my motorhome over to my house and Teryn and I started loading it up. She even made me drive her around the neighborhood. You should have seen her in the chair in the back with her big smile and voice commanding me to keep driving! She invited the neighborhood kids over to her motorhome to play Candyland and eat dinner. The kids ate Taco Bell in the RV .... It was soooo cute.

debbie444

Michelle - good to hear from you, keep dropping in!

I too have the munchies - i have been out and bought all of the family new walking boots. At least i have good intentions!!

Debbie

ravdeb

Ahh...how nice that you can enjoy her fun games. I loved it when my kids were little (oy...I say that NOW that they are grown!!!!) I love them NOW too. Loved each stage and continue to, I must say.

Haven't been on this thread for a bit and it's good to see such lively conversation here. Just thought I'd add that this thread, from the ones I write on, is the most well balanced (I'm not talking about individuals here...! )thread filled with funny lines and serious concerns and I think you women are just the BEST!

Laura...sorry to hear about that thyroid problem you have. Glad it can be easily taken care of though.

Paula.. nobody stares strangely at your new hair because you look terrific and looks like it's coming in so nicely! I also don't feel very feminine in this new do of mine :-( Am just hoping it continues to grow in and fill out....

Oh Graycie..I am now looking like Mary's little lamb....
(picure will be coming soon as I DO have some on my computer...just need to get them over here now)

Maryanne...every once in a while I do see that a few hairs from the front/top fall out and that's the thinnest area. I try to treat that part with TLC and I do hope it grows in and not OUT!

Amy... if it took a month for the itching to stop, then I have another couple of weeks to wait and then I call the national guards (oh..we don't have that here!!!)

Tues I see an orthopedic oncologist about pain in my leg. I am not really worried that it's related to bc (but then I said that about my mammogram last July and... )but just would like to know what it is all about....

I would like to report that I feel quite well except for the numb/tingly toes and fingers/hands and The Itch, and the leg pain and the weakness...oh...I know it SOUNDS bad but I really am in a good mood and feeling good despite that! I love being off chemo!!!!

Not happy with tattooes I got last week and rads coming up, but that will be done soon and then on to the States for a nice long visit with family and friends. Can't wait!

Be well, y'all!(oh..I, too, have the munchies!!!)
ravdeb

ake

paula...i feel unfeminine too...especially when i'm with my girlfriends who have long hair, who are skinny, etc.

i handle it by buying shirts that are a bit more feminine than usual...maybe with cute, puffy sleeves, or a low neck or something. i also realized that i'm wearing high heels with everything too i make my eyemakeup really pretty and i also wear girly earrings. it takes some getting used to, but it'll be the way it is for a while, so we may as well find ways to make ourselves feel better with short hair!

sherryhaire

When do eyebrows and eyelashes start to come back? I am one month post last chemo, hair on head is trying to grow approx 1/2 inch now but nothing on face yet, I know I will feel better once this blank look goes away!!

debbie444

I feel really unfeminine too. i was never a real "girly girl" being 5'10, but i pull out all of the stops now! I take more care over my makeup and always wear a necklace - the kids at school wait to see what i will be wearing each day mon - thurs and vote for Fridays!
My eyebrows and eyelashes are now back full strength 2 months after chemo. To be honest my eyebrows are much nicer now than before as i would never have had the nerve to pluck them so drastically - this way i could let them grow back and pluck out the ones that werent needed!
The novelty of having to shave my legs has quickly worn off too!

What are everyones tattoos like? Mine are so tiny that the biggest one is only about fullstop size like this . The other two very often take some looking for - the tecs draw big rings around them!

Debbie

Anonymous

Ravdeb -
Good luck on Tuesday - let us know what he says.

Debbie -
I get my tattoos tomorrow morning.

Everyone Else -
Sounds as though I am one of the few that haven't gained weight. But I am very concerned because I have NO APPETITE. I rarely eat a full meal each day. And somedays I eat absolutely nothing! This is NOT GOOD. I know that adequate nutrition is especially important after a bc dx. I'm hoping the Thyroid meds will increase my appetite. I'll give them a couple of weeks to kick in - if not, I am going to call my Dr. I hope this isn't indicative of something really bad.

Hope you're all having a good weekend!

Laura

Anonymous

Laura, I don't really have a desire to sit and eat full meals -- only the good stuff. I am not eating balanced meals but my mom is coming down for a month to help me. I have been so stressed out with this bc, the job and the courts (visitation, restraining order and the forgery crap).

I pack a good lunch and then some nice person bakes some cookies in our oven at work and BOOM there goes my lunch! I mean, who can resist Famous Amos fresh baked cookies?? Not me, that's for sure.

Anonymous

Terynsmom -
I don't even eat the "good stuff". No sweets - not even chocolate. I simply do not crave anything. I don't know how I am able to function without eating. It's so strange. Even if I get stressed out, I don't eat.
Laura

Paula15089

hmmmm... laura, it is strange, but i kinda envy you!! i eat everything in sight... maybe its your taste buds that havent gone back to normal yet?

amy, yes, i have noticed the high heel addiction too! and i have never had it, not even in high school! and extra make up, necklaces, earrings... but short hair kinda spoils it all. oh well, just have to be patient.

Sherryhaire, by eyebrows and lashes are returning back to normal just now, and its been 2.5 months since last chemo.. eyelashes are taking very long. I am using castor oil to help them along... it might be helping.

An embarassing question for your gals ...
my hair down south is back with a vengeance.. its darker, thicker and stronger than before, plus its growing... mmmmm... in more places???? anyone has noticed this??

TracySeattle

Paula, No down south hair at all for me yet which seems very strange to me. Sorry you are having the opposite problem!

I had a very good weekend! Yesterday took Mom shopping, I bought some new spring clothes and we went to lunch. Today it was off to the spa with my friend for pedicures and then we grocery shopped together. The sun is shining, the flowers are blooming and it is spring!

Isn't it nice to feel like we are emerging from all of this?

Have a good week everyone!

Graycie

Terynsmom, I too had a lot of aches and pains two weeks after I finished taxol mostly in my bones. Maybe it is the bone marrow rebuilding the blood cells.

Ravdeb, If you are resembling Mary's little lamb then you must have a lot more hair then I have. Thank goodness for those little bottles of color. Glad to hear your chemo is over and the numbness and tingling should go away soon, mine did. Rads will be a breeze. Good luck on Tuesday.

Sherry, Eyebrows and Eyelashes should be coming back soon. Your hair sounds like it grows fast if it is 1/2in already.

Laura, My appetite was like that during chemo. Are you losing any weight? Could your loss of appetite be because of your thyroid? I know weight gain or weight loss can be because of your thyroid but not sure about appetite. Also, did chemo put you into menopause? When I went through menopause, I never had an appetite and I thought there was something wrong with me. The weight just fell off. Everybody asked me if I was OK because I lost 25lbs and was so thin. I kept it off for about 5yrs and then It all came back practically overnight. It was very scary. I am kind of wondering if that is what caused my BC only for the fact I was so skinny and had no boobs and then all of a sudden I felt like I was going through puperty again, lol..My boobs started growing like crazy and now they are huge. Atleast I think they are. I also have a furocious appetite and can't lose a pound. I have to say I did lose 6lbs on chemo but I gained it back.

Paula, My hair is not growing very much anywhere. Hardly anything up North or down South or in between.

Graycie