2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

ravdeb

Mary..I hope your headaches go away and you find a solution for them. Must be just awful and very wearing... wishing you good health...

Good luck Michele, in your house selling and then the moving. Moving is hard. Good that you stay out of the house when it's being shown. I had told that to my girlfriend but she's a control freak and stayed one day and was very hurt!

cindy..when is your surgery?

Victoria..am thinking of you...surgery tomorrow. Only wish the very best for you.

I'm leaving in a few minutes to see the orthoped. I woke up this morning, turned over and had uncomfortable pain in my hip area. My back and sciatica have been acting up and my family doctor told me to do Feldenkreis but I hate exercise classes. I don't mind exercising..just don't like it in a group. I did it when I was young and I loved it then but went with my best friend so we just laughed a lot. I did yoga when I got older and I went because it was good for me, but I didn't like being there in the group. So, I highly doubt I'll do this.

I will ask the orthoped what to do after he looks at my scan and my x-ray.

Be well ladies.

debbie444

Was going to post but a bumble be is stuck in the conservatory with me - gotta rescue it.
oh and no, Mark doesnt want to mechanic - he wants to feed Pandas for a living!!
Speak to you all later
Debbie

ravdeb

Feed Pandas??? Like keep them from extinction? Now THAT I would love to do..

I'm back from my appt with orthoped...

I am not happy.

He said my bone density is within the norm. I thought it was borderline osteoporosis so I asked him and he said it IS borderline but not enough to warrant taking calcium supplements as it wouldn't get absorbed. When I asked him why women over 50 are usually told to take calcium supplements he said it's to make more money for the supplement companies.

Okay.. he told me exercise would work better.

Then he looked at my x-ray of my spine and told me it is NOT cancer and I asked him how he would know and he said cancer looks different and is in a different place inside the bone as opposed to being on the outside of the bone. He then said my spine is "catastrophic" and is degenerating and again repeated that it is NOT cancer. I had forgotten about showing him my ct's so I will see him on Sunday and show him and he will decide what to do. He gave me a presciption for something that would help the pain in my back and leg and said I shouldn't be going around with pain. I hate pills and can't get this presc filled until Sunday anyway unless I make a long trip to go and get it myself. Our clinic is ordering it for me.

I'm angry because I know it's the chemo that did this to my spine. He said he's concerned and wants to see me right away on Sunday to look at the ct scans I had last spring because he's leaving on vacation for a week and doesn't want to wait..he wants to have it written.

I'm not concerned because a specialist saw those scans and he told me not to do anything unless it was really bugging me.

The one I saw today didn't want to see my bone scan last time because he didn't have time to see it. He didn't even write it down and then told me today that he writes everything down so I must not have brought it. So, I told him I DID bring it but that he was running late because somebody else had taken my appt and then he didn't have time for me.

He moves from office to office and town to town and this is hard on doctors because they are always using somebody else's office and so when he wanted to look at my x-ray which is on a disk, he had to move stuff over and then said "shit".

I don't like doctors who act like that. I feel that they are too impatient and just want to get on with things and not really take time for anything. He was angry because the appointment before me didn't show up so he was telling the secy that he wouldn't take anybody who didn't come to his appt on time.

Problem with that is that in our little town the people aren't used to making appointments so they get mad at the doctors when there are doctors who want "by appointment only". I can only imagine the fighting that went on after I left because I know the guy who was supposed to be before me and I saw him walking down the street as I left.

So, I don't know what to think and my dh thinks I should be going to the hospital where I did treatments but that is too far and I need somebody to take me there as I'm not very good at driving in the traffic...I panic.

Am not a happy person right now.

ravdeb

I feel like I'm taking over the forum since most of you, except for Debbie and Paula, are still sleeping or just hearing your alarm go off.

I just read the new addition on the site about breast feeding lowering the risk of both hormone pos and hormone neg bc.

And it's just another thing to make me angry. I had my first baby after 25 years of age (another risk) and I didn't breast feed, not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't and boy did I try. I almost starved my first baby because I was such an advocate of it.

So..it's just another thing to make me angry today since I'm in anger mode big time...My body has betrayed me...

debbie444

Its my long lunch hour today so have come home to have coffee with you ladies. The last ones here will have to have none matching mugs as i only have 8 that match!

Deb , i tried breast feeding and i couldnt - i tried with both of mine. The breast that i had cancer in was one where i had really bad mastitis (sp)when trying to feed and i still wonder if its connected. My health visitor made me feel better tho by telling me that as my two had so many allergies that after a few weeks i wouldnt have been able to breast feed without drastically changing my diet to one not reccommended for new mums. Pheww!
It sounds like a nightmare having anything medical done. Thankfully i had all my treatment done in one hospital with one Surgeon and one oncologist. The same oncologist used to travel to Sheffield for rads a certain day every week to see all his Chesterfield patients. Now when i have a follow up i see the same man all of the time. It makes me feel easier.
Michelle - reading your posts made me realise that my skirting boards need dusting - thank goodness i dont have to get the paint brush out for them!
Mary - Paula - hope all of the aches and pains eventually go away . Its no fun being ill is it.
Cindy - what is it you do exactly? Its nice that you enjoy it.
Tracey - we should all band together and write you a reference to help with job hunting! Kind , friendly , good listener,excellent CD producer - we could get you a job in minutes!!
To our newly bilingual ladies - Eh by eck , thas go sum rate nouse!! ( direct from my Derbyshire keyboard)

OK -off to enjoy the sunshine before going back to work. Its 21 degrees and if i am quick i have time for a sit in the pool
Debbie x

ravdeb

I couldn't because of slightly inverted nipples so that my babies couldn't grab on. I tried every device I could get my hands on and my babies suffered. So, it was the bottle or starve my kids :-(

Well...I now went on-line to get the last results of my blood test and low and behold my TSH is high..appears quite high for what I can understand. I will need to check with my doctor tomorrow..hope he's there. There is now some intern working part of the time..makes me so mad. The doctor looks like he hasn't graduated high school yet. I'm in no mood for more inexperience. I have enough of it that I've been dealing with in the cancer center. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

I will probably need synthroid?? they say they start screening for this in women over 60. Again..chemo did a number on me. No wonder I'm feeling so old.

I want to just crawl into a hole somewhere....

Debbie..hopeyou enjoy your poolside. I now have tan legs thanks to some tanning spray I've been using this week. Never did this before but have done it now and it seems very dumb to me. But I keep doing it!

chumfry

Debbie, I'm one of about a dozen writers who produce the stories that go on MayoClinic.com, a website that explains various health conditions to the general public. In addition to writing new stories, we also "update" the old ones every two years to make sure the info is still current.

When I was a newspaper reporter, I gravitated to health and science stories because they really interested me more than city council and school board meetings. (zzzzzzzzz!)

Deb, if your TSH is high, you probably *do* need Synthroid. I've been on that for at least 10 years. It will make you feel a lot better. Less tired. I know you don't like the idea of taking pills, but I'm all for better living through chemistry! LOL

I meet with the docs tomorrow and we'll probably fix the surgery date. I'm getting all the pre-op tests done today and tomorrow (EKG, chest X-ray, blood work) so I'm guessing it will be next week.

Thinking of you, Victoria.

RoseMarie

Deb - (((hugs))) - so sorry you're going thru this! Catastrophic spine??? No wonder you've been in pain! I had all three kids after 25 (29,30 and 34) and I breast fed all 3 and...yup, got cancer anyway!
Laura - sounds like a lot of fun! It's so awesome that you have such a wonderful, supportive group of friends that live close by!
Debbie - enjoy your break and the sunshine!
Paula - yes, you can be our expert mechanic - I don't think I could check the oil without pulling out the manual! Better employ Mark to help!
Victoria - saying a prayer for a quick recovery and good results.
Cindy - you too! Thinking about you!!!!
TracyS - hope your job search goes well!!

Everyone else - have a great day!!

TracyNY

Where is the sun? I am tired of sweater weather. I want to feel warm rays on my bare back!!

Nothing much is happening in my world. Still sewing that suit. I really need to go and buy some products for my face, my main supplies have just about run out so I'm on my default regimen!! I am into MD Skincare by Dr. Dennis Gross. I don't know if it works or not because I have no wrinkles but I'm trying to keep from getting any.

I got my hair restlyed into a little bob. Its cute. I ran into someone who exclaimed so loudly "You look good" that she embarrassed herself. I was thinking "Damn, did she send someone to poison me or what? Why she so shocked at how I look?!"

ravdeb

Cindy..what is a "high" TSH? Mine is 11.74 and went up from 2.73 when I had a blood test in October. That seems like an awfully big jump. It could explain my lazy feeling and just wanting to sit around and do nothing. I can't focus on anything these days and just doing small jobs has been a struggle for me lately. I pushed through the holiday dinner but I slept the whole week after that. So, maybe this is the problem. I will take pills that I need..just don't like it. I see that the statin lowered my cholesterol big time so if I need synthroid..I'll take it. Just thought I'd take synthroid when I was like 70 like my mom. I am feeling like my mom and she will be 80 this summer.

I guess I'm just tired of all the little things I have wrong with me. I run from one doctor to the next and what I really want to do is go to some deserted island and just hang out...

Your job, Cindy..sounds fun.

Thanks Rose Marie for the hugs. I really need them these days. I suppose I'll come out of this....am down these days...

debbie444

Whats TSH?????

Anonymous

I feel bad...hoping everyones aches and pains and EVERYTHING unpleasant goes away soon!



ravdeb -
Don't crawl into a hole...that's where giant Israeli Hamsters hide! 11.74 is very high! Mine was 14.5...I think norm is 3-5. An abnormal level can cause lots of se's...depression, confusion, fatigue...
Synthroid isn't so bad...chemo threw my Thyroid off balance so I've been on it for almost a year now. No se's.You will need a tfree4 done - that will confirm all.

---------------------------------------

I had my 3 month f/u with the Rheumatologist yesterday. Three months ago, I told him I couldn't stand the bone pain I was having, but wasn't sure if it was the Tamoxifen or ? so - process of elimination as to what the culprit was - he took me off the Boniva for the last 3 months as a test - and sure enough - ALL my bone pain went away. So, even though I have Osteoporosis, he said because I'm young I can get away with taking noting for it, at least for another 3 years. I still have to take the calcium+D, AND...yuck...he said it's imperative I run or walk at least 3x a week! *%#$@&*^* But...a girls gotta do, what a girls gotta do...So I cancelled my current health club membership and am signing up at the Y down the road. All my Bunco gal pals go there, and I think it would be quite an incentive. They have an indoor mountain climbing area, so I'm looking forward to trying it. But... when we get our exercise equipment in the basement, I'll work out down there, and also at the Y - (for a change of scenery).

---------------------------------------

TaDah -
This one's for you:

ravdeb

Tracy NY... post a pic. Wanna see your new bob (or is that Bob??? :-))

Debbie..TSH is thyroid whatever it all stands for.

Laura..I did Free T4 and it was low...8.24. Not that low but below the chart. I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow morning and hope he's there and not his new sidekick who looks like he's in high school! Norm of TSH is 1 - 5.

Anonymous

I hate when Dr's are younger than me! LOL I like them old and wise! LOL

chumfry

TSH stands for Thyroid Stimulating Hormone. (I think.) It seems kind of backwards because a high level of TSH means your thyroid's not producing enough of the stuff it produces. Your thyroid can be overactive (you get hyper and mean) or underactive (you get tired and gain weight).

I see the TSH as an alarm clock for the thyroid. The more TSH in your blood, the more underactive your thyroid. From what I recall, a "normal" TSH is under 5, but they like it to be under 3. Mine was at 12 when they put me on Synthroid.

debbie444

Hey to make you feel good , Marks new teacher was borni in 1983 - th eyear i started secondary school!

ravdeb

Yes, cindy..that's what TSH. I'm bad with names of things and it's a miracle I am writing TSH and not SHT which is just about the word I feel!

And I'm sluggish and though I'm not gaining weight, I also eat very little and don't lose anything. I'm not too prone for weight gain. Didn't really gain anything significant on chemo, either and have been told I'm underweight (but they can say what they want!).

I will update what my doctor tells me tomorrow. He'd better be there!

Debbie..our lawyer was a student of mine...I was his youth advisor when he was 16. I just can't believe it! He said that if I wasn't married he'd marry me. He's still not married. And, at this point...technically speaking, if I wasn't married I COULD marry him!!! How wierd is that???

mcgaffey

I have been taking thyroid pills for years (hypothryroidism) and just got my dose increased from 50 to 75. I will do a follow up in 3 months to see what my counts are. The medication is amazing and can really help you out.

Anonymous

Debbie -
Roy had never complained about getting old, but when I was dx'd, he said for the first time he realized his age because every Dr & surgeon we met with, was younger than him! For the first time - he felt a tinge of a mid-life crisis! LOL

TracyNY

Dev, I would give you an ativan to make you feel better. I think you do need a holiday. You've been busy taking care of others now you need some time to be pampered. Laura, any room in that suitcase to take Dev to Mexico?!

I took an ativan last night because I fell asleep a little after 5pm and woke up at 7:30. I am still feeling the vestiges of it but I slept like a kid!

ravdeb

mcgaffey..thanks!

Tracy...I DO need some time away but it won't happen until August when I meet up with all you ladies. My dh is extremely busy and doesn't even have a day on the weekend to take off for anything. It's very tense here at this time of year. But the summer will be relaxing..WAIT! I take that back..my house is going to be filled with guests June and July! YIKES!

ake

by the way....getting rid of caffine is one of the best things to stop migraines. i used to get them chronically, but no caffiene for me and i feel beter

deb, i'm so sorry for everything frustrating that you're going through. i'm far away from you, but know that i'm thinking of you and ready to beat up anyone you need me to i'm so glad that you're getting the reassurance that it's not cancer...that's important above all the frustration...but i know you're angry and upset about the results of chemo. i felt like my body had betrayed me for so long too. it really takes time to make peace with your body. yoga helped me do it. i cried every time i meditated because i felt like i was starting to like my body again. it takes time. i know you want to feel better NOW but it will take time with the effects of chemo.

and don't worry about the breast feeding stuff...i ran 3 miles every day, didn't smoke, was a vegetarian, and whammo...breast cancer. i'm tired of hearing what prevents breast cancer or lowers risks. because it's a crapshoot for everyone. i can't even breastfeed anyways because my boobs aren't real! we just have to do what makes us feel the best, keeps us healthy, and trust our doctors to help us through it all. it's hard sometimes, i know. i'm here for you...as always

victoria...good luck with surgery tomorrow. yipee on getting that thing out you're going to do great in surgery. hang in there. you'll get through it all just as you did before. and i'm jealous by the way because i freakin' adore huey lewis and the news so fun!!!

it's almost the weekend, ladies. so excited. i need a vacation so badly. my husband and i just booked our 2nd wedding anniversay trip. we're going to florida...his stepfather's friend has a massive house on the beach with a pool and everything and they will be gone then, so we're taking over their house for a week. we're getting to borrow their porsche too i'm freaking out! so excited. it will be a week of golf, lots of tennis, and good times with my hubby

back to work i go (my boss just bought a new labtop for my office, which could get dangerous) gotta focus!

love,
amy

Graycie

Boy, With everyone having all these thyroid problem's I better go and get my blood work done. TSH is on the list to be checked. She told me that chemo can screw up your thyroid. I don't want anything wrong but it may help explain the weight gain and tiredness if there is something wrong with my thyroid. Anyone know what the rest of this stuff is?

CBC...I know what that is
Comprehensive Metabolic Panel
Lipid Profile
Free T4....I think that has something to do with the TSH since she kind of put an arrow to put them together.

Ravdeb, Sorry about your back. My son just called and he has tested positive for a hereditary gene (HLA-B23) for Ankylosing Spondylitis anyone ever hear of that? He said it is rheumatoid arthritis of the spine. The poor kid is only 25 yrs old and he is already having problems. He has always complained of is back but I thought it was from getting thrown around on the ice in hockey.

I go for my follow-up with my ONC on Monday and he is actually older than me. Now I am worried that he may retire, same with my Breast surgeon. They are both in their 60's so I am sure it won't be long before they give up their practice.

Victoria, Where are you having your surgery tomorrow? Do you have to go to the hospital or a surgery center? How do you know if you have clean margin's or not? I'm assuming I do but I never asked. I don't want to sound dumb since I'm so smart..........ha ha ha......but what exactly does that mean? Does that mean some of the cancer was left around the tumor?
I hope everything goe's well for you.

Laura, Sound's like you have some really nice neighbors and friends. They all look so tan did they go away too? I admire the fact you are going to do the 39 mile walk. That is 19 1/2 miles a day.......OMG. You will be a toothpick when you get done. That's wonderful though. I can tell you right now, I wouldn't make it they would be picking me up off the street.

Amy, Sound's like a fun time. You so deserve it.

I better run and make dinner or better yet order out......lol

Anonymous

ravdeb -
I have the perfect solution...why don't you meet us in Mexico next week! You won't have to lift a finger...I'll deliver you foo-foo drinks with little umbrellas as you float on a raft in the pool! And...you are so tiny, you probably would fit in my suitcase! LOL

Graycie -
I'm so sorry about your son...I hope that medication can help him. Arthritis is everywhere! We need a cure for that too! Hope it all works out. Keep us posted.

------------------------------
Hi Everyone -
I hang out in two different Illinois threads here and communicate with some really nice girls. One of the girls there lives - not kidding...3 minutes from me! So today, I had a hair appt, so she and I met at a rest. next door to my salon. We had a great time! She is really nice. This week's social calendar has been very busy! Then tonight I'm meeting with another Illinois survivor for dinner! LOL She and I also did a Relay For Life walk last summer and have kept in contact ever since. This is so funny!

Hope you're all doing well. I hope everything turns out well with upcoming surgeries, etc. Sometimes it helps to think of each new situation as another chapter. And then, when that chapter ends, there's always another one to look forward to.

RoseMarie

Amy - woohoo! sounds like a wonderful trip!! I miss the ocean...and the SUN!!
Laura - so very cool!
Hello McGaffey, nice to "meet" you!
I won't retell my fiasco with my 1st surgeon who, btw, was younger than me. Besides answering his cell phone...a lot...he told me, "Of course, my wife is MUCH younger than you but if you were my wife..."
I feel pretty fortunate that my onc is "the" Dr. Sledge from IU (that's how my onc. from FL referred to him) I see him on Tuesday...

Ok - gotta go...
Lots of love

Curlylocks

Woo hoo, its finally Spring!! What a beautiful day today, sunny and 14, just perfect spring weather.

I went out at lunch today and bought some nice beige wallpaper which has a textured look. We are going to use it in our office/computer room which could actually be a fourth bedroom to cover up the ugly wallpaper that is stuck to the wall with super glue. Then I had a brillant ideal for the dining room. We have this ugly dark grey wainscoting that doesn’t go with the baseboards or floor and really stands out. The wallpaper I bought you can put over panel board so being a risk taker I tried it on a small section of the wall. It looked great so I continued to do one more wall and then ran out of steam for tonight. It is a huge improvement over the current look and not a lot of money.

Here is a picture of the before and after. The grey is before and the beige wall is after, what do you think?

Tonight as I was sitting on the floor trimming the wallpaper and struggling with my affected arm to get up off the floor I cursed, god I hate breast cancer! I must have a lot of deep seated anger that I didn’t realize was there.

Left on our to do list is to finish wallpapering the dining room walls where the wainscoting is now, put a second coat of paint on front and side door, paint the front deck white, rake the lawn, organize the basement and then clean the house from top to bottom for our home showings. I cant believe we are almost done.

We are counting down the hours until our new kitchen is a reality…..

You can guess what our weekend is going to be spent doing and know its not what you are thinking girls!

Rosemarie – that is the one thing that we are gonna miss when we move into a subdivision lot is a clothes line. We have one of those long ones that you can hang a lot of laundry on.

Traceyseattle – good luck on your job search. I have an hour commute so can appreciate the frustration. I love my job and the people though so that;s what keeps me there. I have been there 5 years now, it feels like one big family at our place even though there are 260 employees.

Victoria – yes we want to capture the spring market that’s why the urgency to get things finished. Good luck on your surgery tomorrow, will be thinking about you!

Paula – I have never tried driving a stick shift, both are vehicles are automatic. My hubby had a pickup that was standard and I could never drive it if and when something happened to my car. Hope your doing better.

Laura – your gal pals look like fun, hey that will be us in August only there will be more of us and we will be drinking lemon martini drops (is that what they are called?) Your friends sound like their hearts are in the right place and they were there when you needed them. That is neat that you got to meet other survivors from this board!

Debbie444 – now you have me laughing, Mark sounds like he would make a good zoo keeper, feeding pandas ---that is really different…

Deb – I am sorry that you are in pain and especially your back. I think I told you that my mom has really bad arithis in her back, legs and has some disc that have deteriorated in her back. She is not a happy camper a lot of the time and it is so hard to see her that way as she use to be a really active person who never stopped like me. Chemo beats our bodies up. I feel stiff after sitting for any period of time and usually hobble down the stairs in the morning, my knees hurt and they were so not like that prior to my bc treatment. I hope you get some relief!

I have never had my thryroid tested, maybe I should at my next appt just to make sure that everything is okay. I am tired but I do have energy to do things, just not like I did before but I think this is normal so soon post treatment?

Cindy – your job sounds interesting. I have read some of the stories on that web site.

Tadah – I think that when people hear that you survived cancer, they conjure up this picture of some person that looks horrid looking which is quite the opposite now you are healthy!

Amy – wow, Florida sounds great. Your anniversary is in July or August? You will have to take some pictures of you and hubby in the Porsche. I haven’t sent the book yet, have been so busy getting things organized here…

Gracyie – sorry to hear about your son, he is so young to be dealing with arthritis in his back.

Have a great night ladies.

Hi to all my missing sisters that I haven’t addressed, you are loved!

Michele

Graycie

Michele, That look's beautiful, what a difference.....Your hard work is going to pay off to get top dollar. Now, did you take the paneling off? or paint over it? I would guess you took it off. I really like it alot.

Curlylocks

Gracyie,

Its wallpaper and all I did was wallpaper over top of the panelling as the package said I could. So far it hasnt fallen off the wall and its been a few hours so that's a good sign.LOL.

I do hope that all this hard work pays off.

My dh called me from work as he is on nights and he wanted to know what I was doing and I told him and he was like omg will you ever quit? I always hated the way the wall in the dining room looked and I am thinking in terms of what a potential buyer would see. They would see the ugly gray panelling, yuk!

I am happy with the way it turned out.

Have a great night.

Michele

ravdeb

Michele..it looks GREAT! I admire you and will be hiring you for our renovations should we ever do them!!!I am very frustrated with the way I'm feeling with my back.

My son is seeing an orthoped on Sunday as well. He also has been suffering from back aches and though he has no tolerance for pain (and I have a very high tolerance for it)I'm a bit concerned. Always thought it was the basketball when he was in high school. He plays still about once a week and he's very athletic but not sure that is it. We'll see what his doctor says..it's an army doctor and so he will probably not say much!

Amy..thanks. I'll get through all of this. I was at my doctor today (family doctor) and he wants me to have the TSH and Free T4 taken over before he prescribes anything. He said I don't have all the symptoms except for the fatigue and the difference since Oct is huge so he said it COULD be a mistake but it could also be the effects of the chemo and as he put it..."my situation" which bothered me a touch. At any rate..I'll have the blood test on Sunday morning and will know the next day I guess.

He also told me to try taking only half the statin pill a day and see after two months if my cholesterol is down still because he said that was quite remarkable. He said there's no need to put more chemicals into my system than I need. I liked that attitude.

So, we'll see what happens.
Gail...the TSH and Free T4 were things that were on a general blood test for everything, which is what I asked for. He did check my B12 as well and that is low but borderline so he said I don't need to do anything about that right now.

And so...he said that if the TSH is still high then he has already given me the presc to see if it helps the fatigue. I hope it does.

I gotta go. Had a guy here to change the pipes on my stove today that attach to the gas...we have gas canisters ...it is one of THE biggest inconveniences of living here in this area...I run out of gas and can't cook sometimes or dry my clothes in the winter! Drives me insane..as though I'm not already!!!

ravdeb

Good luck today Victoria...wishing you sparkling clean margins forever!