2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

Graycie

Laura, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! At least you know you won't be a scuba widow today. At least I hope not......lol

Ravdeb, I love the cake but the candles? LOL.....

Amy, That is absolutely normal to feel that way and I don't think you are over reacting at all. People just don't think sometime's. I know it is hard but be patience I know you will get a baby someday so don't give up hope. You will make a great mom. My daughter is going through the same thing. She want's a baby SO bad. They are trying to adopt..

Cindy, I don't blame you for wanting to soak in that tub. The hotel sound's nice but I am not sure I would have liked that sandwich........lol. I don't like oyster's.

Tracy, You are so cute or is that pretty well, you are both..........Great picture.....Sound's like you had a fun time with your friends.

Happy Purim to Amy. Linda and Ravdeb. I grew up in a Jewish neighborhood so most of my friends were Jewish but I have to say I never heard of that holiday. Ravdeb, Turkey tender's are strip's of turkey that are cut off the breast. You can usually buy them prepackaged but maybe not in Israel since you aren't familiar with them.

Tracy, Look's like you have your hand's full.....Boy, you are leaving a BIG kitchen. I have a tiny kitchen which I hate. Just think it's a good way to get rid of things and start fresh. I think I am going to pretend I am moving.........lol

Rosemarie, you go girl........

We are having a snow storm again so I guess I will sit tight. Work will have to wait until it clears.

Love Graycie Gail

ravdeb

Good for you, Amy! We sometimes need to give them a bit of slack. Only we really understand what we are going through. She may have been insensitive, but most people don't always think that much ahead...

I laugh about the shampoo gift I got, too. And to really compare it..I'm not sure she realized what was in the gift package. She probably ordered it on-line or from somewhere. She's a business woman and has no time for anything. So..it was the thought that counted at the moment and I had special shampoo for when my curls came in!

Rose Marie..good luck at the gym. I almost fainted but was able to control myself!!!

Maybe Debbie's computer or internet isn't working.

Michele..haven't gotten the flowers yet. I'll take pics when I do. I have this idea in my mind of lots of color near my front door. What I actually buy..hmmmmmmmm... depends on how much it all costs!I usually get geraniums and petunias but we'll see what's around now. I bought beautiful geraniums last year for the built in pot I have and when I returned from my trip in the States, they had died. Here geraniums are very hearty and live for years...if they get watered of course! Nobody watered them. I'm lucky all my house plants were okay!

ravdeb

Gail..we posted at the same time. Did you mean that there are too many candles on the cake for Laura?? LOL

That's what I think I'll do..pretend I'm moving and get a mover to haul the junk out!!!! My dh would NOT be happy!

TracySeattle

LAURA!!! Happy Birthday! Drink a Margarita for all of us!

You know, now that I am acutally moving, I am getting apprehensive that I might be making a mistake.... One minute it all feels comfortable and good and the next minute I have an anxiety attack about it. I am getting rid of A LOT of my stuff, but on the other hand, I really needed to downsize and after all that we have been thru with bc - stuff just isn't as important anymore. I like the opportunity to put a good amount of money into the bank for retirement.... And I figure if down the road Dave & I get tired of each other's company, I can just move and will be all that much better off as far as my retirement goes. Who knows if I am making the right decision, but I guess I will go with it and see what happens!

Not much else going on in my corner of the world. I took Dave out to dinner Saturday night - he has pretty much been sticking around the house and I know how that felt when I was going thru chemo. I had such HORRIBLE cabin fever! I know he has to be bored, problem is that he is not a game or puzzle guy and he doesn't like computers (can you believe it???). I keep telling him that he could be having so much fun with my lap top - but he is just not into it....

Well, I am at work and I had better go get my Monday started.... I am so excited about meeting all of you in August!!!!

Have a good day and LAURA - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

TracyNY

Thanks for the compliments ladies. We are a kinda cute bunch. We just coincidentally wore black. We're getting old and need all the help we can get!! Black makes you look slender.

Good to see you back Amy, I'm sorry your friend hurt your feelings. They sometimes don't realize what they're saying and they want what we want, to put cancer behind and continue like before. Unfortunately we all deal with our new reality in our heads, our bodies look fabulous and we pull ourselves together so nicely that people forget that we've been traumatized. You will have your own baby, believe that.

Devorah, thanks for the explanation of Purim, I was in Crown Heights (a huge Jewish enclave in Brooklyn) yesterday and I thought to myself "I didn't know Jews had Halloween". The funniest part was that the majority of the kids had on lab coats, surgical masks and stethescopes around their necks. Guess who's parents forgot to go to Party City for a costume?!

RoseMarie

TracyNy - LOL!
Ok...my legs are wobbly but I did it! My neighbor is a workout freak so I like your advice about not comparing myself to anyone, Amy!
I did 15 min. of the elliptical machine and 30 minutes on the treadmill. The elliptical kicked my BUTT! yikes - after about 3 minutes I thought I was going to pass out!
Next time I'm bringing my novel - never understood how folks could read and workout at the same time until today.

Be well everyone! Love all of you lots and hope you're all having a wonderful day!!

ravdeb

Tracy NY..ROFL! That is tooooooooooooo funny about the kids in Crown Heights. I am familiar with that area though I've never been there.

Tracy in Seattle..you know...I believe that you will never know if you are doing the right thing by moving until you've done it! I think you should just go into it with lots of positive energy and enjoy it. You are right..you can always move out. Of course..moving is a pain but nothing has to be signed in blood, so to speak.

What can you lose? No matter what..it's an experience.

After I had been living in Israel for about 3 years or so, were were visiting in Chicago and sitting around the dinner table at a cousin's house. Her kids had also moved to Israel around the same time as we did. One of the questions was if I changed my mind then and wanted to return back to the States, would I be sorry I had moved to begin with. And the answer was no. It was an experience that I would never want to "give back" and there would be no regrets. It would have just been a chance to learn Hebrew, see what it's like to live there, etc.

And that's the same with you...live with Dave, have that companionship that you are enjoying now with him but on a more permanent basis and just go with it. What will be will be. I learned THAT with bc.

TracySeattle

Ravdeb - thanks! Your encouraging words help!

Once a Survivor, always a survivor..... No matter what the challenge! :-)

Graycie

Yeah, Ravdeb the candle's cracked me up...It just looked funny because there was so many...lol... but it was a cute picture. How do you insert that into the post...being the computer dummy that I am, I couldn't figure it out. I tried to insert something with no luck......
I am so p***ed off right now. I just went outside to go to work and my car stalled and it won't start. grrrrrrr
I am just glad I didn't get somewhere and then this happened so I am waiting for my dh to get home so he can take a look at it or tow it somewhere. Hopefully it isn't anything major. I only have 20,000 mile's on my car so it better not be.

Rosemarie......elliptical is hard....

marymelodi

Happy Birthday to Laura!! Hope it is very happy!

Hello to all!

TracyNY: I agree with everyone. What an attractive group of women you travel with. I'm surprised there are not crowds of handsome men all around you.

TracySeattle: wow! I would have a terrible time sorting out and doing away with much of my belongings. You are to be admired.

Rosemarie: Good for you in going out to exercise. I hope that elliptical workout doesn't make you sore. I had sore thighs after my first workout. I'm more used to the movement now. The trainer at the fitness center told me to concentrate on just getting used to having my large muscles (legs, thighs, and butt) moving continuously for longer and longer period of time. So, that's what I'm doing. Going at a medium pace for longer and longer. I listen to books on tape/CD while I walk. I love the Amelia Peabody mysteries that are set in Egypt and so I pretend a little that I'm walking to Egypt.

Ravdeb: can't wait to see your "bridal" pictures. LOL

Graycie: very windy this morning as I walked from the parking lot into my office. Had about a half-inch of new snow this morning. Supposed to be very windy all day. How about your neighborhood?

Michelle: I also love your messages and feel an uplift from your spirit. You have added so much to this group.

Amy: ((((HUGS)))) Wish I could do it for real. I can sympathize and empathize some. I never got to have children and sometimes, especially in my church activities, I feel very bad about not being a mom. A few years ago, as I was approaching 50, it was almost all I could think about. Many tears have been shed. The circumstances are different but I can relate to the very strong desire to be a mother and to feel cheated that the opportunity may not be yours. It seems to me that you will be able to be a mom but I do not want to discount or ignore the sense of loss that must be yours in thinking your road may have to be different than most women's. I think, as others said, that your friend was probably caught up in her own excitement and didn't even realize how insensitive she was being. Again, similar experiences have happened to me. Sometimes I got hurt feelings but more and more I just understood that most people are more wrapped up in themselves than we realize and that was the source of the hurtful remarks or questions. You are a wonderful woman and good things must come to you, I'm sure.

Victoria: well, I wonder how you are holding up? So much to do and it is an emotional time, I think. How do you feel physically? I'm thinking of you.

Paula: How fun to join with "sisters" you can see more easily. Have a great time.

Must return to work. Blessings to all today. . . .
Mary

TracyNY

Quote:

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TracyNY: I agree with everyone. What an attractive group of women you travel with. I'm surprised there are not crowds of handsome men all around you.

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Who do you think took the picture?! A real handsome guy from South Carolina!!

The girl on the bottom right is my best friend Susan who has been married for 15 yrs, her two daughters are my godchildren, the birthday girl next to me is recently separated and it was her daughter I was holding in a photo I posted from my trip to B'dos. Twin (she has a twin sister hence the name) in the back is still looking for a husband and I've had enough for everyone!!

Anonymous

ravdeb

LOL Kelly!

RoseMarie...wow..you did well! I should probably join the health club, but then I'd HAVE to exercise!!LOL

Gail..hope the car got started. I'm a monster when I have car trouble!! I have an album set up on photobucket.com. Once you have that..you just go there and copy and paste the pics here. It's easy. I can't remember where I found that pic but if you plug in gif pictures to post on the internet..you'll get lots of sites you can browse and they allow you to copy their pictures.

Mary.. you always have such kind words for everyone. Your words to Amy were very moving to me...

I think I have a sinus infection. I took Tylenol and I feel a bit better but if it doesn't go away, I'll have to see the doctor. DARN! I never get sick. The dang chemo did this to me!!!

marymelodi

Ravdeb:
Sorry your sinuses are giving you trouble. It is wicked. I had that in January. Hope you feel better soon.

We had a blizzard during the day today. Parents coming in around 3:30 to pick up their children to go home were talking about how bad it was and they closed a major expressway.

Well now it is 5:15, the snow has stopped and someone told me they even saw the sun peek out a little. For me, I'm going to leave right now so I can get home before it starts up again. They say we could go down to zero degrees tonight with wind chill at 20 below zero. Time for my big fat down comforter. Usually I'm too hot (naturally) to use it, but tonight could be the night I need it. I'm sure the cats will be up on the bed keep ing warm with the humans also.

So long from the frozen land of Rochester.
Mary

Graycie

Mary, I am also in that frozen land........Burrrrrrrr

Deb, Sorry about your sinuses. You probably should call the doctor if they don't get better in case you have an infection. My husband couldn't get the car started either when he got home so he called AAA to have it towed in to get fixed and would you believe when they arrived they tried to start it and it started right up....Weird...My husband then called the dealer and they said we probably flooded it which seem's strange to me because it started fine this morning and then it stalled. Now I am afraid to drive it too far and I have to go pretty far tomorrow for work in sub zero temps I may add.

Kelly, I like your cake..lol

Tracy, I understand the black thing. I wear black a lot and I have a friend and her whole wardrobe is black and white. I go for anything that make's me look thinner....lol
I forgot to mention how young you all look in the picture. Are you really in your forties? You look like early 30's to me.

Graycie

I forgot to mention my friend just e-mailed me and told me her hairdresser had BC and said for me to come in Monday and she will help me with my hair and tell me what hair products to use. I think I will take her up on it.

ake

ok, tamoxifen users, help me out.

i lost my period during chemo and it came back 6 months after i stopped chemo. with a vengeance. it was like clockwork every month after that and about 5 days. in the last 3 months, it's been a bit shorter. 3 days, 2 days, sometimes all i need i a liner (sorry if that's too much info). i got it last month, i think, but it was so short it was uneventful and i actually can't remember when that was.

i was supposed to get it this week. i had a little bit of clotty spotting over the weekend and that's it. nothing. my onc. told me in january that my estrogen levels were right for my age, so it's not that. i had a couple of hot flashes last week but i was also sick and drinking mug after mug of tea. i posted my question on the ysc and someone asked me if i was pregnant and that i should take the test for peace of mind.

this is bad timing to take any test like that because of this weekend with my friend. i just don't want to. dont' want to go there, don't want to think about that. stage 3, tamoxifen...not much of an issue or a debate....simply not having a baby now. it aint happening. and i don't know how i would be. i'm not. we use condoms. consistently. but is that enough? should i be freaking out? where is my period and what is going on? anyone else on tamoxifen having this problem?

Graycie

Amy, I'm not on Tamoxifen but maybe it can screw up your periods. Hopefully someone else know's the answer for you. I was going to ask the same question. Do you think you could be pregnant? Especially since you felt sick. I got pregnant using condom's so it does happen.

RoseMarie

Amy, I haven't had a period at all since Oct.'05. I sometimes feel crampy but have had nothing at all. Our bodies are so out-of-whack still - there's no telling. (I'm just a bundle of help, aren't I??!!) When's your next appt. with your onc?

Here's something totally off the subject...I'm just venting...sorry...you may actually want to scroll to the next post

I have suspected that my daughter is autistic for a long time. I know there is a broad "autism spectrum" and I feel she falls somewhere on that spectrum. But, because she has received special ed services since she was 10 months old anyway (and because we were in denial for a long time) we have not pursued an official diagnosis. I'm at my wits end with her illogical temper tantrums and quirky idiosyncrosies.
(Actually, the idiosyncrosies I can handle...or ignore anyway - hey, I forget, is it normal to open and close a doll's eyes over and over and over and over again, how about freaking out if someone sits in a different chair at the dinner table, or asking over and over "that seat is still mine, right?" or asking a billion times, "are you going to pack my lunch tomorrow?" or freaking out because you can't find the ONE hair clip you insist on wearing EVERY day even if you have 50 others, or...never mind!! What does normal mean anyway?!!)

Again...just venting...it's been a looooong day! Hey, and I may just win the loser-mom-of-the-year-award...

ake

rosemarie...i'm sorry you're going through this. what's keeping you from pursuing a diagnosis? it may not be autism, but something like anxiety in the realm of compulsions, etc. i would get it checked out just so you can g et some peace and she can also get the strategies she needs to handle things better as well. we're here any time you want to vent and you're not a loser-mom...you're doing your best and this is hard stuff sometimes.

ake

how is everyone getting pregnant with condoms? are they breaking? how do you know? if i don't get my period by friday, i'll pee on a stick. ugh.

Paula15089

Amy, i am on monthly Zoladex hence no periods whatsoever.. not much help sorry!
Did you know it IS possible to get pregnant from that stuff that comes out BEFORE sperm? But if your hubby wears the condom before ge gets anywhere near you, and it doesnt break, i dont believe you can get pregnant as such.
Just have this test for your own peace of mind...

ake

ugh. i'm going to wait until friday and then take the damn test. this is stressing me out. i don't think i'm pregnant. that would be a hoot, huh? but, i do want to know where my period went to and if it is disappearing, then what's going on with my estrogen?

Anonymous

Laura... I hope you had a great birthday!

Tracy: What a lovely picture of you and your best buddies.

RoseMarie: I can't diagnose because I'm not an M.D., but I've had autistic children in my class (of regular kids) and the spectrum is really wide. Presently there is a child in my class who has extreme ADHD and OCD and without the meds. he is not able to stay in one place (much less in a regular class).

I recommend a book entitled Thinking in Pictures written by an autistic woman named Temple Grandin who earned a doctorate in her field of study. She was almost institutionalized as a child because of temper tantrums.

ravdeb

RoseMarie

Thank you, ladies! I was truly having a moment earlier. I'm going to check the book out, Brenda.
I emailed Kiersten's special ed teacher after I vented here - I AM going to pursue this. What you said about getting her help and finding strategies to help her cope better makes a lot of sense, Amy. Part of my problem is feeling like it's my fault - what did I do to set her off -constantly feeling like I could have done something better. But I am at a breaking point! My dh is in serious denial. Anything having to do with BC makes us closer, anything having to do with Kiersten's disabilities drives us apart!

Gail - my dh's car was acting weird too. Turns out it had a lot of accumulated snow, ice, and gunk in some part that they took apart, cleaned and charged us $250.00 for. Can't remember what or where -
Hey Debbie, miss you!! Where are you???
You too, Kelly!! Although I did see the redneck birthday cake.
Ravdeb - Israel in the Spring sounds beautiful. Actually, Israel always sounds beautful!
All my big talk about not being sick jinxed me! My throat hurts, my head is all congested and I have the chills. Oh wow, wah, wah, wah, again! AND it's 2:40 a.m!
Ok, off to take some tylenol...
Lots of love!

RoseMarie

Hee, hee, LOL Deb!

ravdeb

Rose Marie...You are the best mom ever! It's not easy having a daughter who is "challenged" or challenging or whatever you want to call it.

I'm not sure it's autism. I used to work with autistic young adults. And as you said, there is a wide spectrum of what autism could be. The young adults I worked with were diagnosed as autistic but not all of them really were in my opinion.

Like Amy said, it could be a mixture of things and diagnosis for this is only to help you help her to learn to live and deal with what she has.

My son had a definite "problem" in school when he was just starting out and the teachers and my dh said he was lazy. I knew this wasn't true but nobody would listen to me. I finally convinced my dh and the school advisor when he was already in 7th grade, to get the referral to have him tested. Sure enough..he was diagnosed as borderline ADD with specific reading problems because of it. That day, my son blossomed. He even told me that he was relieved because then the teachers needed to make a plan for him and well..he became a pretty good student and he understood what he needed to do to deal with it.

So..it really does help to know. It won't matter if she is diagnosed with autism or some other problem except that you will learn to deal with it correctly.

ravdeb

Amy.. I'm going to guess that your body is just a bit confused because of the chemo and the tamoxifin. But, if it were me, I'd do the pregnancy test just to rule that out. I like ruling things out instead of stressing over it. You know..no matter what it is..it's best to know. That's how I feel. That's how I dealt with the cancer and that's how I try to deal with everything.

RoseMarie..I just saw a movie on TV last night about a mom with twins who were autistic. When they were young nobody knew what was wrong with them. It was obvious that they were bright and also gifted in certain areas (common with autistic kids) but they had no social skills...none. One repeated everything you said and the other would just blankly look at you. Those are the most typical, stereotypes of autism. The main thing about autism is that they don't connect with the rest of the world and see things very differently. There just is no connection.

I haven't read the book that Brenda suggested but I read two other books that were also written by an autistic woman....Somebody Somewhere by Donna Williams. That's one of them. The other one got lost..can't remember what it was called. Read them years back.

I have a niece who is obsessive-compulsive. When she was young she would clean the bath tub out about 1000 times before she could get in it if somebody else had used it before her. She did lots of things like this. I can't remember them all. She finally got the right meds and is perfect today, happily married, working, studying, etc. She has some emotional problems connected to all of this but she is being treated. She lives a totally normal life but her early years were very difficult for her.

Another example..my youngest son, when he was little, could not leave the house unless his socks were pulled up to his knees and stayed there while the shoes went on. Then, after I tied his shoes, the bows had to be perfectly straight (and I was the only one who knew how to tie them like that) or he would have a tantrum. That's just an example of some of the obsessive stuff he used to do and I was sure he was OC. He's not. He's a normal, terrible teenager today. He just read the book on what to do to make parents crazy.

debbie444

Felt i had to post. havent been on for a while as i had a rather nasty pm from someone, which made me question whether i wanted to put my words 'out there', but couldnt sit back and watch Amy and rosemarie think i didnt care.
Not sure who it was from as it was new Id, but like i have said before , any issues with me i would prefer you to just come straight out with it.
Amy - i really dont know where you are at with the meds etc, i lost my period on my 5th chemo , for about 4 months if i remember. It came back on tamox but lighter than before as that had been a problem for me. They were then pretty constant until i had the ooph. Our bodies have taken a real battering. I kind of know the feelings you are having, when i was pregnant the first time ,with one of the children i lost , there were 5 others at work pregnant too. When i lost my baby, but the others didnt it was heartbreaking. I really didnt want to believe that i was pregnant the next time , in case that was takem from me too. I had just told everyone when that horrendous thought came true. When i was pregnant with Catherine i didnt test until 15 weeks, then told noone apart from my Dad until i was at 24 weeks - just in case. To be given something that you really want, then to have it snatched from you is the worst thing. If its any help i will be thinking of you constantly.
Rosemarie - i too think you should push for a diagnosis, even if only for your peace of mind. We have an Autism unit at school , there are about 15 pupils attend that. They attend mainstream school in the morning, attending mainstream classes with their support staff, then back to the unit in the afternoon to do art and music therapy etc. The students are so different - justlike all kids, ranging from one who has an obsession with photocopiers ans refuses to line up, to a little girl who has a thing about pink hairslides and has been known to create when she has the wrong shade of pink in. My friends little boy attends, he is a slight , quiet little thing who ha s no outward manifestations at all, just a slightly withdrawn outlook on life. My friend said that when he was diagnosed it was as if a heavy curtain had been drawn back on all of the family and things got better almost immediately as they all knew what they were dealing with.
Laura - hope you had good birthday

Debbie