anyone starting chemo in Nov 2005

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  • Odalys
    Odalys Member Posts: 2,103
    edited February 2008

    Good morning sisters!  I'm sitting here remembering Mami and just thought I share a pic from her 50th birthday.  I gave her a surprise party.  This was her first real birthday party ever...unbelieveable. 

    I know she is my angel watching over me from heaven.  I love you Mami! 

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  • Margerie
    Margerie Member Posts: 526
    edited February 2008

    Odalys,

    I am so glad she had that party and that she had you. Of course she is going to smile every time she checks up on what you are up to.

     Vavavvoom by the way, you are quite stunning Wink

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Odalys,
    What a beautiful picture!!!!!  You both look so happy and clearly adored each other.   What a special memory.  

    I have to go to bed, I got Daniel's cold and feel oogy, as he would say.  

    I do want to tell you that I had a sono today of my ovaries (been having issues for the past few months), and they are NORMAL!!!!  

    Yay!  I'm now getting referred to a fertility specialist to get pregnant asap!  
    Love and prayers, Deb

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited March 2008

    What a wonderful picture of you and your mom....I agree, you look fantastic!

    Good news Deb!!!!!! I wish you the very best....

    Love to you all!

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  • AnnaM
    AnnaM Member Posts: 1,387
    edited March 2008

    That's a beautiful picture, Odalys.

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited March 2008
    Anna are you home yet? We miss ya.....
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2008

    Hey, did you guys hear about AlaskaDeb?  She has mets-was dx. on the 29th.   Stage IV to the liver.  

    I'm freaked out again about so many of our sisters.  It feels lately like they are the ones that were dx. originally right around our time. 

    That makes me fear my mortality.  

    I'm so sad for her.  She is handling it like a warrior, and for that I am glad.  

    Love and prayers, Deb

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  • Odalys
    Odalys Member Posts: 2,103
    edited March 2008
    Yes, I read about it and I am speechless.  I am still trying to deal with the loss of Mami and CY and now another sister gets such devestating news.  I'm so sad...Cry
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  • AnnaM
    AnnaM Member Posts: 1,387
    edited March 2008

    I had no idea about Alaska Deb. When I used to go around to different threads I always liked her up-beatness.



    Mary Lou, I haven't left yet, that's next Tuesday. Yikes, I'm starting to freak out a little. I have to finish a babyquilttop to get it to the machine quilter before I leave. I usually do the quilting by hand, but this one needs to be strong for lots of machine washing. I'm making another one by hand and will take that one with me (like I'll have any free time.....)



    Did I tell you what a wonderful time I had with my daughter when she was here two weeks back?



    I miss her so much.



    Lots of love to all of you.



    Anna

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited March 2008
    I sent everyone a pm with Debs address for the card shower.
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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited March 2008

    Cool It is a beautiful day, sunny. But still a little colder than I wish.

    I have hurt my big toe and can't walk to well. Did it at work. Dropped a stainless pan on it. I thought it was broke. Had X rays done Friday.

    I will return to the Dr. Monday he'll tell me then...just somebody shoot me, lol.

    love to you all

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited March 2008

    The Toe

    Photobucket

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  • Odalys
    Odalys Member Posts: 2,103
    edited March 2008

    OMG, that is one bruised toe!  Ouch!!!   I am glad it's not fractured.  Feel better!

    Love and hugs,

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited March 2008

    Thanks Odalys......It hurts! I know it looks gross, but I wanted to share with my sisters. I tell you all everything else.

    Think of me at 4 pm, and  hope he lets the pressure of of it.

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  • Margerie
    Margerie Member Posts: 526
    edited March 2008

    Oh Mary- poor toe.  My sister did the same thing when she dropped a bookshelf on hers.  I don't want to tell you what the doctor did to relieve the pressure.  Right before sandal season- argghh!

    I hope it heals up quick for you. (And that you don't have to have the same thing done as my sis....)

    Cleaned out the garage today.  Really, how much can 3 dogs shed???????????  I am still working on it!

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited March 2008
    Marg- I know what's coming Cry.......but I'm so ready for this to be over. My whole nail is almost covered in a blood blister .Yell
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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited March 2008
    DEB, Where are you ??????
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2008

    Hi sisters!!!!!!  

    ML-eew!!!  Ouch, that looks sore.  I, too, am one who always seems to localize an injury directly to the big toe and nowhere else.  Such a joy to have all that pain directed to one tiny area! 

    I hope the pain eases up soon!!!!  

    I've been away a bit, and I've missed you guys!  I don't know if you noticed that I changed my screen name.  A family member was able to track down a post I wrote regarding him (elsewhere), and it wasn't exactly a good situation.  I'm trying to change my screen names all over the place. 

    Beth had such an issue about losing her anonymity (did I spell that right?!?!), and two other women have too.   I don't like that, so I decided since you all know me by now anyway, I'm just gonna change so I can't be googled. 

    Daniel is at school, I haven't showered yet, and I have a stack of bills and my Dad's estate mess to deal with.  Yikes. 

    I miss you guys!  Let's decide where we are going to meet up, and when, so I have a date to focus on for losing the weight I am rapidly gaining (argh!). 

    Love and prayers, Deb

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  • AnnaM
    AnnaM Member Posts: 1,387
    edited March 2008

    Here we are in France. Good trip, little dog was an angel thoughout, it's cold and rainy here but we are awfully busy getting rid of stuff even though we don't know whether the sale (s) will go through. I guess it's good to clean things out in any case. Lots of love to my sisters.



    Mary Lou, that toe looks AWFUL! Poor baby!



    Love, Anna

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited March 2008

    Hey all, the toe is getting better. I'm trying to clean a bit before Jessie has her shower here. We did move the date up to April 5th, so I am hoping we can use the deck by then. It's about 50 foot long and the middle is sunken with a 20x14 section covered.

    I will take pictures......

    Anna glad your trip is going well so far. It is raining here too. Michael went on a trip with his brother to west Va. They are taking a  ride on the 4 wheelers with a group for around 30 miles one way.

    Michael has no "Ass" LOL It is all belly. He said to me before he left "Wonder if my ass will be sore" I laughed so hard and said I imagine so....You have no "ASS" ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL 

    He looked at me with a big grin and said "Bite me Mary"

    He bought some rain gear, I'm sure he is good and wet by now. I just hope he is having fun and will be safe.

    I'm jealous, been stuck inside way to much. If my toe wasn't tore up I would have gone too. I love to ATV any time I get the chance.

    Last time I went to my older sons I couldn't ride cause I had just had surgery...It seems I'm always standing by the fence watching.... Crying 1 

    AARP is not fun!

    Well let me get back to "The House Work" Hope you all have a great day.

     Kisses 

    Feeling like a granny these days for sure.   





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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2008

    Hi Dear Sisters,

    I am having some mixed emotions about our little community lately.   NOT our chemo-sisters, mind you, but the community as a whole. 

    It's so weird, and so different than it was in the beginning.  In the beginning, there weren't any weird "fights," or "arguments" going on. 

    Also, we didn't "know" anyone else all that well, so when we would learn of a sister passing, we'd be sad and scared, but not directly "affected." 

    Now, there are so many "new" members, and it's like the dynamic of the boards have changed.  Dramatically. 

    People aren't as "nice" as they were, they are more inclined to be unkind towards each other.  People are telling others if they have the "right" to read and discuss certain threads. 

    After losing so many of our sisters in the past 6 months, I'm getting freaked.  Especially after Kim.  She was one of US-we really KNEW her. 

    My goal has always been to be a breast cancer advocate, and to speak out on bc issues to others, and other sisters who are just beginning.  However, I now find myself shying away from that goal.  

    I think I am just going to go back to only communicating to you-my chemo sisters.  I just can't take the emotion of the boards any more.  

    What do you all think?  Undecided

    Love and prayers,Deb

    PS-ML, glad the toe is better.  

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited March 2008

    I know Deb, people in general are very unkind these days. I had a rough day today over my daughter in law. In fact she got smart and hung the phone up on me.

    After I settle down, I will come back with some more insight. I believe in saying just what I feel. And at times on these boards I feel that some of the peeps on here just don't seem to be "REAL"

    I wonder at times if they really had BC at all.

    We love you Deb........I do wonder out there and chat.....More now than I did before. But i see the fangs coming out.

    I think  BE WHO YOU ARE ALWAYS! No matter where you post and no matter where you are. If someone has a problem, then it is there problem.

    This was not the best night to vent, so I will be back.

    Michael had a wonderful trip, and he did listen to me vent before he fell asleep and said I was right. So I do feel better.

    Everything blew up over my EX.........Will I ever have peace.....

     Shoot Me 





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  • Odalys
    Odalys Member Posts: 2,103
    edited March 2008

    Hey Deb,

    I know what you mean.  I've seen such uglyness and mean spirited attacks on other sisters that I too am staying away as much as I can.  You are right, the boards aren't what they used to be.  Some of the true support and encouragement is gone.  That makes me very sad.  However, I do know nothing stays the same so I am learning to accept whatever gifts God is granting me one day at a time.  I know tomorrow life will change and those gifts could be gone.  So I am choosing to not waist my precious time.

    Oh well, sorry didn't mean to preech.  Just been on a weird mood since loosing so many kind sisters on these boards and especially since loosing my mom.  

    BTW - I wanted to share with you what happened with dad today and ask for your feedback.  Would you believe dad came to visit me today to tell me he is already speaking with this lady and whether I thought it would be okay for him to talk to my sibblings about her.  WTF was he thinking!!!!  Mom has only been dead for exactly a month and he is already picking out her replacement????  OMG, I was so upset all afternoon. I called my sibblings and told them.  What was he thinking when he decided to cause me such pain?  Oh man, I am so angry at him it's one in the morning and I can't go to sleep yet.   OMG, OMG, OMG...he better not think he is going to parade her around us!  What do you all think about this?

    Love and hugs,

      

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2008

    Oh Odalys, My heart broke for you just now. 

    That is such a tough topic-when your parent considers "moving on" after losing their spouse.  

    I know you are in a LOT of pain right now, because the pain and anguish of losing your Mom is so horribly fresh. 

    It's really one of those things that we have to place in the Lord's hands.  It's almost impossible for me to say that, because I know in my own life and experience (when my Dad first "moved on," after my Mom died 10 months prior to that), I HATED the other woman.  

    She gave me a Christmas gift, and I pawned it.  I hated her. 

    However, looking back, I have to say that I appreciate that she was there. 

    Why? 

    After going through my Dad's stuff, we'd look at all the pictures from our childhood, and would be sad as we remembered the good times of being a complete family.  

    Then, the pictures of my Dad just after losing my mom surfaced, and he looked lost and empty inside.  

    Suddenly, a packet of photos surfaced, and we opened them to see pictures of my Dad in a tuxedo (!!! if you knew my Dad, you'd know how out of character this was for him), and my Dad out dancing, and smiling, all with the crazy other woman on his arm.  

    She put a smile back on his face. 

    It ended up that she "dumped" him, and he was crushed.  He only loved my Mom before her, and just assumed that all relationships were like that-you are in it for the long haul. 

    Pictures of Dad after being dumped were the same-empty and lifeless face.  That is how he remained until he died. 

    So, I am torn as I share this with you, because I agree that you should be raging mad and hurt.  I also look back on the way too fresh death of my Dad, and wish that he had someone to put a smile on his face for the remainder of time he had on this planet. 

    Give it to the Lord-have Him carry your burdened and heavy heart.  Let it be HIS will, not yours, that decides if your Dad is to be "friends" with this new woman. 

    It's not going to be easy.  I can tell you were so close to your Mom (like I was to mine).  That makes it all the more personal and painful. 

    I love you so very much, and will pray for your peace.  

    Love and prayers, Deb

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  • Odalys
    Odalys Member Posts: 2,103
    edited March 2008

    Ah, Deb.  Thanks for sharing about your dad and for understanding how difficult this is.  I am heartbroken right now.  Thanks for reminding me to turn it over to God.  I will try my best to keep praying for better days.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2008

    Hugs and love, dear sister.....

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited March 2008

    Odalys, I'm so sad for you right now. I remember not long ago talking to my EX about his "NEW" wife. Michael was right there beside me. I still always speak my mind even if others are around.

    He was complaining about the new wife and sleeping on the couch. I said to him, why don't you just get an apartment and be done with it.

    He then said, Mary you know I can't live alone.

    I really believe some men just can't bare to be alone. They're lost .....

    Maybe that is how your Dad feels.

    When my dad died , I returned home 1 month later. I asked my mom, "Do you miss daddy" She said "Not really" WTF is right, I was floored. But daddy had been sick for sometime, and i believe the relationship was very different by the time he passed.

    I was hoping Momma would get out and meet someone, but doesn't even go out at all much. Just to have dinner, or a movie .... she just seems so alone. And like Deb said that sad look.

    Momma and daddy didn't really have to much in common at all. They were more like roommates in the past 20 years or so.

    I think your dad came to you, as he would have your mom. Just not thinking....But men are such idiots sometimes. Even if it is your dad , or Husband or SONS....

    I promise I will fill ya in on all the drama here. But I have to see my PS , so I must shower.

    Hugs

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  • AnnaM
    AnnaM Member Posts: 1,387
    edited March 2008

    Well one good thing about being so far away and all is that the only place I ever come is to this thread, so I am blissfully unaware of any meanspiritednesses elsewhere. I just like to check in with you sisters. Even when I was at home I didn't do too much on the other threads, just a little lymphedema and a peep here or there from time to time.



    Odalys, I think you are right to put everything in God's hands. You are so hurt right now and your mother's death is so recent. How could you feel other than shocked? Just give yourself room and if you don't want to react, don't. Maybe your dad is acting out in some fashion. Maybe he isn't even interested in this other lady but is simply filling an emptiness he can't handle.



    We're still working at weeding things out. This is a four-storey house and we seem to have inherited a lot of stuff from the previous owners. Yikes, we emptied a closet I had never even look into and yikes again!



    But the food is good, esp the wine and cheese. Mary Lou, my daughter's shower is in early April too, but I won't be able to attend. I'm heading up there toward the end of May. She loves this part of the pregnancy: no more nausea and lots of little baby foot (and elbow, no doubt) activity across her tummy. She sounds so happy and that makes me happy.



    Love to all my sisters, Anna

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited March 2008

    Love to you too Anna Wink

    Odalys , I also feel  you should take it to the Lord in prayer. I saw that I forgot to add that in my post. Hope things are good for you today.

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  • Margerie
    Margerie Member Posts: 526
    edited March 2008

    I am so sorry too Odalys.  I can only imagine how confusing and emotionally charged this new development may be.  I can only say that our parents can be imperfect people, struggling in their own way.  Maybe once the shock has lessened you can ask your dad what is going on.  Maybe he doesn't know what he is really doing. Men can be dense sometimes (like Mary says).

    What are you finding in the closets Anna?  Life and changes keep on keeping on.  Best wishes for a wonderful Easter sisters!

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