anyone starting chemo in Nov 2005

Odalys

Hello dear sisters.  Thanks Deb for checking up on me.  Your pm brought a smile to my face.  Sorry I've been MIA lately.  Life is so stressful since mom passed away.  My siblings and I are all trying to cope as best we can.  There is a deep sadness in our hearts that does not go away.  I am worried for my sister cause her diabetes is so out of control and my brother (will always be my baby brother) he spends days without sleeping.   I am not so worried about dad since he caused me such unnecessary grief by announcing he has a girlfriend.  Crap, he owes us and mom respect!  Steven is also having some troubles adjusting, poor guy.  Some nights he cries himself to sleep holding mom's picture.  As if all this wasn't stressful enough, there is a lot of stuff going on at work and my boss is trying to use me as a escape goat.  don't worry I am very good at CYA.  I'm a fighter, she is no match for me.  Someone needs to warn her she is dealing with a cancer survivor!   BTW - just had 6 month follow up mammo and I am dancing with NED!!! 

Deb - Daniel is so handsome.  What a sweet face he has.  Wow, I remember when he was a baby.  Look at him now, such a grown boy.  Please give him a hug from me. 

ML - Sorry I haven't been around for you during this difficult time.  I've been running on empty.  I do hope you can work things out cause grandma's are so special.  Sebastian is a sweet heart.  I hate to see you and him miss out on such a special relationship.  

Margerie - congrats on finishing another milestone in this journey.  I pray you and all our sisters live a long life.  Do you have any recent pics of your beautiful angels?

Anna - I missed you too around here.  I hope your home situation is resolved soon.  Wow, you are going to be a grandma soon.  Do you know the sex of the baby? 

It's been a while since we talked about our get together.  I know there is a lot going on but I still would like to meet you all in November.  I think we should just pick the state and go for it!   

I got to go now, the ambien is kicking in.  I'll try to check in more often...promise.  If there are too many typo's just blame it on the ambien.    I love you sisters.  Sending you a great big cyber hug!

AnnaM

Odalys, sometimes families just feel like they are falling apart with grief, health issues and all, but these are times we must learn through. Steven sounds like he loved his grandmother a lot. I hope he has lots of pictures to keep his memories alove.



Margerie, congratulations on completing another milestone. I love your blog. No, I am not lonely at all. I acutally like being on my own. We have an Aga in this house; usually my husband is the one who gets to do all the ritual stoking and feeding of this wonderful oven, but I am doing that successfully now and while it does take some time out of my day, I am feeling bouyed by my success at it. Little dog is a wonderful companion and I do have friends here. I'm not into cooking, so I have to be careful to keep in mind that I need to get good things to eat and keep a regular schedule. But no complaints on this end.



Mary Lou, I agree the letter is a good idea. I am so sorry to hear about your friend.



Love to all my sisters, Anna

Mary-Lou

Thanks....I still have heard nothing yet. I wish they would let me know...

Mary-Lou

Got a call today. Susan is being held for a week. Her daughter said she seems better and that a minster was coming to speak to her this afternoon.

She did tell one of our friends that she didn't want to go home.

I may see if she will come here.

Thanks so much for all the love and support you have given me over the last few weeks. I really believe in many ways we are each others life line.

Where is our trip going to be?????? I really need to wrap myself up in planning our meeting. I need a happy place to think about.

Mary-Lou

Odalys

Hey, anyone watching DWTS?

Mary-Lou

I was, then Susan's daughter called and I missed some, just saw that guy get the boot.

I love to watch.....

Odalys

I am amazed at Marlee.  Talk about someone who doesn't let her dissability hold her back.  What a warrior spirit she has. 

Have a great day sisters!

AnnaM

I am missing DWTS!

Margerie

LOL we watched it last week on vacation.  It was fun!  But I keep forgetting to catch it at home.  What night is it on?

Poor Anna- can you get satellite?  Or can you see it on your laptop?  Maybe it is on youtube?

Mary-Lou

Marlee is awesome.

Update on my friend. I got to talk to her yesterday, she is doing better. I will go see her next week....also am taking my granddaughter out for her birthday.

She will be 14!!!!!!!

Hugs to you all.

Anonymous

I want so badly to watch DWTS, but Greg isn't exactly into that one.  I am obsessed with Kristi Yamaguchi-loved watching her skate when I was younger.  Is she a favorite to win?  

ML-glad to hear your friend is doing better.  Boy, has she been on my mind. 

My wedding anniversary is coming up on April 13th!!!!  We are going to be in Peoria (doesn't sound exciting), and I am thrilled!  I can't wait to see old friends.  

Ok, let's do a poll, once and for all as to where we are going to have our get-together.......

Sounded like we are all good with November? 

What are our first two choices? 
Mine: I loved Odalys' suggestion of the bed and breakfast.  Woodstock is such a quaint town (that was where your friends had theirs, right?). 

Choice number 2 is, of course, Disney.  I wonder if the Disney cruise line has a good weekend deal? 

Which one of us is a whiz at finding the best deals?  I will find good deals, but it takes me FOREVER, because my undiagnosed OCD keeps telling me there has got to be something better out there! 

Love you all!  Love and prayers, Deb

Anonymous

 Hi ladies,

My former student sent this to me.  I got weepy when I read it! 

Love to our sisters-
Love and prayers, Deb 

Subject: FW: Don't Leave It on the Desk 

DON'T LEAVE IT ON THE DESK  
  

There was a certain Professor of Religion named Dr. Christianson, a studious man who taught at a small college in the western United States . 
  

Dr. Christianson taught the required survey course in Christianity at this particular institution. Every student was required to take this course his freshman year, regardless of his or her major. 
  

Although Dr. Christianson tried hard to communicate the essence of the gospel in his class, he found that most of his students looked upon the course as nothing but required drudgery. 
  

Despite his best efforts, most students refused to take Christianity seriously. 
  
This year, Dr. Christianson had a special student named Steve. Steve was only a freshman, but was studying with the intent of going on to seminary for the ministry. Steve was popular, he was well liked, and he was an imposing physical specimen. He was now the starting center on the school football team, and was the best student in the professor's class. 
  

One day, Dr. Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him. 'How many push-ups can you do?'  
  
Steve said, 'I do about 200 every night.'  '200? 
  
That's pretty good, Steve, ' Dr. Christianson said. 
'Do you think you could do 300?'    
  
Steve replied, 'I don't know.... I've never done 300 at a time.'    
  
'Do you think you could?' again asked Dr. Christianson. 
  
'Well, I can try,' said Steve. 
  
'Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I have a class project in mind and I need you to do about 300 push-ups in sets of ten for this to work.  Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it,' said the professor. 
  
Steve said, 'Well... I think I can...yeah, I can do it.'    
Dr. Christianson said, 'Good! I need you to do this on Friday. Let me explain what I have in mind.'  
  

Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, the professor pulled out a big box of donuts. No, these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend with a party in Dr. Christianson's class. 
  

Dr. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, 'Cynthia, do you want to have one of these donuts?'    
  
Cynthia said, 'Yes.'    
  
Dr. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, 'Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?'    
  
'Sure!' Steve jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Dr. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk. 
  

Dr. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, 'Joe, do you want a donut?'    
  
Joe said, 'Yes.' 
  
Dr. Christianson asked, 'Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?'    
  
Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut. And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten push-ups for every person before they got their donut. 
  
Walking down the second aisle, Dr. Christianson came to Scott.  Scott was on the basketball team, and in as good condition as Steve  He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship.    
  
When the professor asked, 'Scott do you want a donut?' 
  
Scott's reply was, 'Well, can I do my own push-ups?'    
  
Dr. Christianson said, 'No, Steve has to do them.'    
  
Then Scott said, 'Well, I don't want one then.'    
  
Dr. Christianson shrugged and then turned to Steve and asked, 'Steve, wo uld you do ten push-ups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?'    
  
With perfect obedience Steve started to do ten push-ups.    
  
Scott said, 'HEY! I said I didn't want one!' 
  
Dr. Christianson said, 'Look!, this is my classroom, my class, my desks, and these are my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it.' And he put a donut on Scott's desk.    
  
Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow.  
  

 Dr. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry. 
  
Dr. Christianson asked Jenny, 'Jenny, do you want a donut?'&nbs p;
  
Sternly, Jenny said, 'No.'  
  
Then Dr. Christianson asked Steve, 'Steve, would you do ten more push-ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?'    
  
Steve did ten....Jenny got a donut.    
  

By now, a growing sense of uneasiness filled the room. The students were beginning to say, 'No!' and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks.
  

Steve also had to really put forth a lot of extra effort to get these push-ups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved. 
  

Dr. Christianson asked Robert, who was the most vocal unbeliever in the class, to watch Steve do each push up to make sure he did the full ten push-ups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts.  He sent Robert over to where Steve was so Robert could count the set and watch Steve closely. 
  

Dr. Christianson started down the fourth row. During his class, however, some students from other classes had wandered in and sat down on the steps along the radiators that ran down the sides of the room. When the professor realized this, he did a quick count and saw that now there were 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it.  
  

Dr. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time.  He was taking a lot more time to complete each set.    
  
Steve asked Dr. Christianson, 'Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?'    
  
Dr. Christianson thought for a moment, 'Well, they're your pushups. You are in charge now. You can do them any way that you want.'  And Dr. Christianson went on. 
  
A few moments later, Jason, a recent transfer s tudent, came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled in one voice, 'NO! Don't come in! Stay out!'  Jason didn't know what was going on. 
  
Steve picked up his head and said, 'No, let him come.'    
  
Professor Christianson said, 'You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten push-ups for him?'    
  
Steve said, 'Yes, let him come in. Give him a donut.'    
  
Dr. Christianson said, 'Okay, Steve, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?'    
  
Jason, new to the room, hardly knew what was going on. 'Yes,' he said, 'give me a donut.'  'Steve, will you do ten push-ups so that Jason can have a donut?'    
  
Steve did ten push-ups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down. 
  

Dr. Christianson finished the fourth row, and then started on those visitors seated by the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each push-up in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity.  By this time sweat was profusely dropping off of his face, there was no sound except his heavy breathing; there was not a dry eye in the room. 

The very last two students in the room were two young women, both cheerleaders, and very popular. 
  

Dr. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, 'Linda, do you want a donut?'    

  

Linda said, very sadly, 'No, thank you.'    

  

Professor Christianson quietly asked, 'Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?'    

  

Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow push-ups for Linda. 
  

Then Dr. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. 'Susan, do you want a donut?' 
  

Susan, with tears flowing down her face, began to cry. 'Dr. Christianson, why can't I help him?'    

  

Dr. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, 'No, Steve has to do it alone; I have given him this task and he is in charge of seeing that everyone has an opportunity for a donut whether they want it or not. When I decided to have a party this last day of class, I looked at my grade book. Steve here is the only student with a perfect grade. Everyone else has failed a test, skipped class, or offered me inferior work.  Steve told me that in football practice, when a player messes up he must do push-ups. I told Steve that none of you could come to my party unless he paid the price by doing your push ups. He and I made a deal for your sakes.' 
  

'Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Susan can have a donut?' 
  

As Steve very slowly finished his last push-up, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 push-ups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.  

  

Dr. Christianson turned to the room and said, 'And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, on the cross, plead to the Father, 'Into thy hands I commend my spirit.' With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, He yielded up His life.  And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk, uneaten.'    

  

Two students helped Steve up off the floor and to a seat, physically exhausted, but wearing a thin smile. 
  

'Well done, good and faithful servant,' said the professor, adding, 'Not all sermons are preached in words.' 
  

Turning to his class, the professor said, 'My wish is that you might understand and fully comprehend all the riches of grace and mercy that have been given to you through the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He spared not His only Begotten Son, but gave Him up for us all, for the whole Church, now and forever. Whether or not we choose to accept His gift to us, the price has been paid.' 
  

'Wouldn't you be foolish and ungrateful to leave it lying on the desk?'  

Odalys

Hi Sisters,

We had a mass for Mami today and Steven and I visit the cementery.  It's a sad day.  The Priest spoke about the glory of God and how mom is in a better place, however, all I feel is sadness she is gone.  I can't believe it's already a month because the piercing pain in my heart is as deep as it was the first day.  This is tough and I can't seem to bounce back.  I don't know how to move on with such heavyness in my heart.  I can't believe she is gone and often pick up the phone to call her. 

Steven told me today that he wish feries were real so he could "wish" grandma back to life.  Oh what I would give to make it true.   

Sorry to be such a downer sisters.  I miss my mother so much. 

Margerie

I am so sorry Odalys.  I can't even imagine.  Your beautiful mom would not want you so sad.  She is your angel always. 

I think it will only take time.  Please be good to yourself.  Find a joyful way to remember your mom.  Plant a rosebush, tree, something like that may help?  And don't apologize- we are here for you!!

I wish there was something I could say to make your pain go away.  It will get better.

Much Love,

Margerie

Anonymous

I went to the cemetary yesterday, and it broke my heart to see both my mom and dad under a headstone that said, "Together Forever." 

Odalys, I know the sadness is crushing.  Hugs to you, my dear sister. 

Love and prayers,Deb

Odalys

Thanks for the kind words/understanding.  I love you sisters.

AnnaM

Dear Odalys, your overwhelming pain is proof of the depth of the love your mother instilled in you. The love you feel for her must surely fill her and make her journey all the more beautiful. With much love,



Anna

Mary-Lou

Odalys, never say sorry here with us....I understand and it has been 3 years for me. I miss my Daddy so much. And I don't think life will ever be the same.

I Will be going up to the grave this week..either Thursday morning or Friday. I will see Susan too. So that makes me feel better.

The baby shower was yesterday. I sent my gift along with the cake , I just couldn't make myself go. Still haven't written that letter. I don't think it would matter.

I did tell Jessie's mom everything. She called to see if I was still getting the cake. I broke down  while I was speaking to her. Very hard crying and everything. Telling her how I felt .

When I was finished all she said was, "Do you want me to get the cake"

Made me Look like a total fool.

OMG! I just couldn't believe it.

Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Anonymous

OMG.  

Let's go on vacation soon.   We need it.   All of us do!!! 

Odalys

I agree, Deb. Let's not wait until November. 

Margerie

Are you all outdoorsy?  Do you have frequent flyer miles saved up?  Because we have a vacation home in the Lake Tahoe area. It would be fun! And the weather is great all summer (70's-80's) no humidity and no bugs (well not many).

Check the air to Reno or Sacramento.

Odalys

Margerie - Wow, so generous of you.  I've never been to Lake Tahoe.  Sounds like fun.  How outdoorsy?  I'm a city girl.  

Ana - those are beautiful and sweet words.  Thank you!

MaryL - Families can be so complex. Sorry to learn this is causing you such grief.  I sure hope you can work it out. 

  

Deb - I know you are sad about your dad too. 

Love and hugs

Mary-Lou

I'm ready for a trip too....Remember I have surgery on the 14th of May....The lat flap is going to take a little time. When will Anna be home????

Let me know, but we don't have to wait till November....weather may not be on our side then anyway.

Marg, so nice of you to offer.

Anonymous

Marg-I'm not really an outdoorsy girl, but at this point I don't care where we go! 

I got a "girl's weekend" manual thingy in this month's Redbook.  I almost threw it away, until I remembered that we are trying to plan something! 

I'm going to have to read through it! 

Gotta go shower.  Tons to do before Daniel gets home from school. 

Love and prayers, Deb

Margerie

LOL- our place is in Truckee.  It is a nice home, 3 beds, 2 baths- not tents or anything! We can hike (nothing too steep), walk, drift slowly down the Truckee River, shop, canoe the beautiful waters where you can see the huge boulders 40 feet below. Casinos are nearby, and we have a pool and jacuzzi, fitness center, massage, horseback riding all in the neighborhood.

I know it is far for you all- but lodging and a lot of activities are free!

Mary-Lou

Anna, I will drive up and fly out with you if ya want...from Dulles...I think that is a good idea no matter where we go.

I'm getting happy!

I will be seeing Susan tomorrow, she is home. I have about 3 hours to drive after work. In fact I will be on the road allot in the next few days.

I will try to check in at some point and time.

Love to you all

AnnaM

I will be here till I go to Boston for the baby's birth, then back here through September.



The move is now scheduled! April 22 out of this house and April 23rd into the new house. Yikes! Hubs comes April 25th. Whatta guy, he really lucked out with the scheduling and all. I can't wait for him to come back; he's the good cook, I'm the lousy one. Thank goodness I have some girlfriends here, they're really helping me go through stuff, sell stuff (an 1895 concert grand piano, just packed it off yesterday, YAY!), throw stuff away (you don't even want to know....) and laugh about it all. Little dog is my steady companion and nap partner. The weather is FINALLY beautiful. The camilias are gone, but all that rain brought rhododendron paradise.



Love to all from this working bee.

Anonymous

We're going to Peoria for the weekend (it is our anniversary weekend, too!).  

I'm SOOOOOO excited to go to our old church I can hardly contain myself.  Seriously!!!!!!!!!!  

Love and prayers, Deb

Mary-Lou

Checking in...

My trip went well, put allot of miles on the car. Close to 1000. But it was all worth it.

My friend is doing a little better. She still needs prayers. Most of all she needs money. I just have no way to help her. I just get by myself, my Dr. bills are off the map now, and that is with insurance.

She is fighting for her disability, and one of the ladies got really smart mouthed with her on the phone. I just don't understand . Her MS is so much worse.

I'm trying to keep my mind and my body busy. I felt really good while I was gone, the closer to home I got the more stressed I became. And I started to be hungry.... I need to stay on top of this.

I am going to keep a journal of what I eat, and also one of how I feel. This weight is connected to not what I eat, but what is eating me.

I eat down my emotions.....

So this is another day , with a different attitude. Biggest loser comes on tonight , I sure hope Alli wins. She was the size I am now and the size now I was in 2000 when I married Michael.

I took some pictures with my son this past week, HOLY COW!

Love you all

ML