please help

Hi Sue,



Been thinking of you, and saw your post.



If you truly are seeing a day to day enlargement of the mass in your breast and other (like lumps under the collarbone, in the armpit etc) then you should march yourself back in to your surgeons office, or clinic, and tell them you're are not leaving without being seen.



Yes, there is a waiting list in the U.K., yet they are good doctors, and some tumors have a faster growth rate and they know this. So, take a day off from work tomorrow (I know, I know) and go back in and be re-examined.



You're on track here, Sue. You're right to ensure you stay on track, even though it's emotionally hard to do so.



Let us know back. And take our a tape measure and measure your lump if you choose to: write it down and do the same tomorrow and so on. A picture of your armpit and collarbone may be very useful.



We just got to let the doctors know what you're sensing.



With a gentle shove from the U.S., I am

Tender

Hi Sueps,

I worked 2 weeks after surgery (right mast) with axillary node dissection. I was instructed not to lift anything over 5 lbs. I was sore but not really IN pain and I did get tired out very easily. I only worked 4 hour days that week. By the third week, I did practically my regular hours although near the end of the week it showed that I was very tired.

This week has been test central again (4th week post op, one week pre chemo) and so I have been working 6 hour days at work but spending 3 or 4 hours at testing places, or cancer clinics... lol...

Karyll

Sueps, I had the Sentinel node biopsy and they tested 4 nodes from each arm. I also had restrictions about lifting and did the exercises to regain the movement in my arm, but the best exercise I had was turning on and off my celing fan lights. I am barely 5 ft tall and when I came home from the hospital, I could not reach the pull switches on the fans without stretching, by the end of the week I did not have to strain as much. Like I said earlier I wanted to go back to work part time earlier but my surgeons wanted me to rest for 4 weeks.

My mom who is a 6 yr survivor drove me everywhere I needed to go for 3 weeks because of the limited movement while driving.

Sheila

I wish I could answer your question about working through chemo but I am not taking chemo. The company that my mom worked for (she is now retired) gave her full pay while on disability and she did not work for at least 8 months. The doctors told her that the chemo would help kill any cancer cells that were floating through the body and the rads would kill any cells left in the breast area.

Sheila

Don't sink, Sue.



Chemotherapy tends to help more in younger women, it's purpose of course being to destroy residual cancer cells around the body. Some do seem to be able to work through chemo, a good percentage can't. Everyone is different and you might just tell your boss you'll go with the flow, if he or she can.



Great news on the ovary ultrasound! All looks better and better each day.



Any connection with a local breast cancer support group? They may be able to help in differing ways during treatment.



Thinking of you and your boys,

Tender

You come here as often as you need to. We are here to listen to you and help you through the rough times.

About losing your breast, my husband, the night before my surgery, kissed my breasts and said 'sorry to see you go'. Then he took picts of them to remember them by, also to compare to the 'new girls' when I get them completed.

We sometimes resort to laughter to get us over the rough times.

Sheila

Sue, it's not only okay to laugh, but necessary. Yes, it's deadly serious, but what good does it do to be serious? Sure doesn't make me feel any better. I find laughing at myself and my boobless state to be far more helpful than crying, talking, or anything else.

My dear mother had the gift of seeing humor in any situation.  It was how she coped with everything that was falling apart in her life. She especially laughed at herself instead of feeling she was a failure or getting embarrassed. Toward the end when she developed Alzheimers and would forget mid-sentence what she was saying, her eyes would twinkle and she'd say, "Well, I have Alzheimers, you know!" and laugh.

In the darkness, find a little humor. Like when my daughter asked if removing breasts caused phantom pain like when a leg is amputated. Nipples are sooooo sensitive, she said. Hmmm says I, I haven't heard, but the sensation in my breasts usually isn't painful...I wonder if I'll get phanton pleasure. Or, like a button I saw: "Yes, these are fake. The real ones tried to kill me!" (I'm thinking of doing that at some point.)

As to the pain in your lump, I had that and it scared me. After surgery, the pathology report mentioned the presence of a small amount of blood inside the tumor, probably caused by the biopsy. I'm convinced that was the source of the pain. I don't know why I didn't think of it! 

Hang in there! 

Hello Sue,



Just checking back. Sorry the panic has surfaced again. I panic sometimes too, and I just know how it feels like the walls are closing in on you. Usually I talk with someone (like you are) and tell them I'm panicking and why, and eat a little, go for an outdoor activity and at times, take Klonazepam, a fast acting anti-anxiety agent. Chamomile tea, some chocolate, and a nice walk are nice alternatives.



It finally dawned on me that this may be your first surgery, yes? Gosh, I've had so many that I forgot to ask you about this. Sorry. The first time is the scariest, because of the unknown. To me, the most difficult part was relinquishing myself, and accepting I'm in hands of the surgical team. The nurse (who's your personal angel), the anesthesiologist and the nurse anesthetist (who are angels with drugs), AND the operating room team (who are the third tier of angels, having sterilized everything, and counted the instruments, and keep track of you being placed and removed correctly during the procedure). Oops, almost forget, your surgeon of course! I never wrote a funny mark on my breast, like "this side" or "take from here" or the like, but many patients do, and it, as well as a joke, relaxes the team, endears you to them, and they relax, feel honored, and delve into the job of taking care of you 100% with fervor. And that's what makes a successful team spirit.



Darn, wish we could move the date up some; I'm getting geared up to go now too. Rah, rah, rah....



Let's keep focusing on the good news you've had, and making plans like post operative food for the boys, and how they're getting to and from for a while. That'll keep us busy.



Not one to make light, I do understand Sue. You've been a real BC trooper through this. Sometimes it's good to sit down and have a good cry, and that's o.k. too.



Thinking of you yesterday, today and tomorrow, I am,

Tender

Just before my mastectomy everyone.. and I mean EVERYone came and looked at my paperwork, asked me what surgery I was having ( they had to make sure I was aware and knew) and then after they had done that, they initialed the breast that they were removing. It reminded me of someone with a cast on their leg or arm, that all their friends sign.  I had at least 5 initials on there because there were resident Doctors in on this too... I just got so everytime someone came near, I lifted up my shirt... lol...

Like you, I was quite terrified - I busied myself with things around the house and tried to get work tidied up for my absence. I knew it had to be done, but I didn't want it to be done. I wondered too if I would just run out of the OR screaming don't DO it but somehow,when you are right there, it is almost surreal (was for me anyway) and really still is. I know what happened, I know that I had a tumor in that breast, I know that I am going for chemo and I know that I might have radiation afterwards too. But what I focus on is -

Tomorrow I have a muga scan and CT scan. Thats it. And after those scans tomorrow - I will focus on the fact that my first chemo is on Thursday. (unless more tests pop out of somewhere). It's hard, and it's hell and I believe it was Tender that described to me that waiting for tests, and results is like terrorism. It seems like hurry up and wait and then you don't really want to know the answer either, but you can't stand not knowing. Step by baby Step is how I have gotten this far - I know I have a long way to go yet but hey, if I put my focus on just the next foot moving forward, I can cope a bit better.

This place here, has helped me to do that. The "big" picture is much too intimidating although you can't help but think about it - focusing on just the next bit can help you get through it all one piece at a time. and btw - hugggeeeee greatttt big hugggsss to you - always remember you are loved.

Karyll