I lost my son

Prayers for Pam and Miles

Pammy I just opened this thread. I have been on this board for a few months. I have not been diagnosed yet but am awaiting excisional biopsy May 4th. So I came to the prayer thread to read some of the inspirational posts. I clicked on yours first b/c I recognized you name from another thread. When I read this post, I cried as everyone else has. I am a mother of 3-2 girls and one boy. He is my youngest at 24. In 2000 my husband's dear brother at the age of 39 died the same way your dear son did. It is in no way describable the pain. We all blamed ourselfs for not helping him. We did not know he could/would do this. It was/is so hard at times still, but we have so much faith. His dear mom was still with us at the time. She got thru somehow-I don't know how. Well I do, it was her memories and her faith. She lost both of her daughters in 1976 early Christmas morning in a fire. She was devastated. But she got thru it. She was going thru a bad marriage at the time. Somehow she got thru to the "other side" with faith. And now this happened and we wondered how we could help her. We had gone thru it with her 30 yrs ago with the girls who were 14 and 22 at the time. I did not have children then. This time our kids were still in school and at home. It was the hardest thing we ever did to tell them what happened to their uncle. Marty also has 2 daughters who are grown. It was like ripping their hearts out. But we are going thru it together and we talk and we laugh we cry a LOT less. We lost our dear sweet mom in "04 from colon cancer, but thru it all this woman always found something funny in everything-even the day she fell in her bathroom and her Hospice aide and I had to call someone to help us get her up. In came these 3 CUTE burly guys from Hospice and scooped her up from the floor with a blanket and carted her to her hospital bed. I thought she would be really shook up at LEAST. She said "I oughta do that more often-they were cute"!! After that day, I had to laugh with her in the face of her disease. She did not let one day go by without making me laugh at something. A few weeks before she passed away, I was making her bed with her in it and she mumbled something. I took her hand and she asked me if it was Marvin's hand (her DH who passed yrs ago). With my tears falling on her pillow I said no but I thought that his hand was on top of ours. She said she couldn't wait to see him and the girls and Marty again. She had the most peaceful smile and then I knew she would be ok.
I'm so sorry to ramble and I hope I haven't upset you, I just wanted to let you know how much finding you means to me and I will be praying for you every day.
If you like to read, I stumbled across a very good, inspiring book about life after . It's titled "Only Love is Real" written by Dr. Brian Weiss. He has a few others out, but it really is a VERY good book. It made me feel better. I think I've reread it at least 2 times.
Just want to let you know that you can "add me" to your list of people praying for you. I'm here if you need me.
Keepin' the faith...Dawn

Thank you Puppy. Lots of love and prayers to all. May God and your guardian angels surround you with their healing love and light. Keepin' the faith...Dawn

[[[PAMMY]]] Iam praying for you and Sweet Miles, that everything is going well!! Love, Aunt Puppy

Pammy...just so you know...you are always in my thoughts

Love
Vickie

{{{**PAMMY**}}}
and I do too!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox Aunt Puppy

Pam
I am praying for you also.

{{{PAMMY}}}
" I SEE"
" YOU SEE"
" WE SEE"
Love You Sister!!!
Aunt Puppy

Pam, I'm not much online anymore - too busy - but this is one thread I always check on. You are always in my prayers and I think of you alot. Glad the biopsies were b9!
Love,
Carol

Thinking about You and sweet Miles today!
Aunt Puppy