Philosophy

Music is healing.

Both of those are good ones, pajim. I have had it easy compared to many, but it’s still not easy. We have this crappy, almost certainly, fataldisease yet we should not be tempted to put one foot in the grave from the moment we’re dx’ed. I figure I will just keep living until I can’t. It could happen next week, next year or beyond. Until then I try to live my life looking forward. I just want to be able to feel that it’s been a good and fulfilled life.

"Let each day hold something of importance for you." A 94-year-old aunt held my hand and said this to me many decades ago. I loved this arrangement of words because they suggested that life's richness was individual -- that each day holds things of value specifically for us, and that we should pay attention to them.

Divine's perspective sharpens this idea for me so that it's more useful in the moment.

Thanks to pajim for starting this thread, and to everyone on these forums for teaching me how to live with this diagnosis.

I love the shared philosophies on this thread. I leaned on “You can only do the best you can do" yesterday when I started mentally beating myself up over something I thought maybe I should have done better.

“Let each day hold something of importance to you." I love the focus of that.

“Living my life and stage iv is just gonna have to come along." This keeps it in perspective.

Being more aware of what's worth my energy is ongoing. I recently realized I'd been putting up with some bad behaviors of my siblings for too long and made a shift in my thinking. I visualized cutting the strings that tied me to them and released them in my mind. If they truly need me, I’ll be there for them, but in truth, they’re not my responsibility. It’s a freeing thought.

candy, facing death, coming to terms with it, is a process. I've had a few more years than you to come to terms with it. On many levels I have, or at least more so than when I first got the mbc diagnosis. I casually seek insight into this subject and find certain books give some insight, ones written by people who faced terminal illness. For me, it is most helpful to read of others who are really in similar trenches as me.

“When Breath Becomes Air" written by a young neurosurgeon

“Everything Happens For A Reason and Other Lies I've Loved"

“The Unwinding of a Miracle" which I found to be a masterpiece of writng on this subject.

These authors' books, their words, their experiences, all helped me with my thoughts about death. They’re all written so beautifully in their own way that rather than be depressing, they are inspiring.

Interestingly enough, I'm now reading “Cured: The Life Changing Science of Spontaneous Healing" and even with that title, it still carries the message that death is a normal process of life. It's a great book that I also recommend.

Divine and finallyoverit- I will look up those books to read. I lost my mom 7 years ago--heart failure. She was 80. And I lost a grandmother when I was 12 years old. I have not lost any other close family members. Yes, I have known friends that have died, but not family except for those 2.

I am a Christian and I know I am Heaven Bound. But even being a Christian, sometimes I question my faith. What if there is no Heaven, no afterlife. I think we all have those lapses in faith sometimes. It would be so much easier if a loved one, my mom for example, could talk to me from the other side and say "Candy, Heaven is real. I am waiting for you. You will love it here". But that is where faith comes into play.

I am going to try to work on my fear of death.

My philosophy at the moment that I'm embracing and trying to put into practice as best I can is this. "Do the best I can, with what I can, how I can". Some days I have little umph, so I do the best I can with that day and try to take it in stride. If it means doing absolutely nothing that day. I do absolutely nothing. If it means pushing myself to do things I love even if it hurts or I'll pay for it later, I do that. The simple act of accomplishing a goal or a task I set my mind to does wonders for moral. In the earlier days of diagnosis for me, I couldn't settle long enough in my mind to even have a philosophy, now that i've had time to marinate a bit, I can take more perspective, even if its still cloudy because I'm still a relative newbie in this almost 10 months in (I cannot believe it will be 1 year in May).

Exbrnxgirl,

I am with you. Gonna keep going until I can't go anymore. I am just hoping I can stay relatively well for as long as possible...

'Make the best decision you can with the information you have at that point in time' along with the always popular “Knowledge Is Power”:

Prevents one from second guessing and also encourages action. Being frozen in fear of doing the wrong thing is never helpful. Not to decide IS to decide!

Moving forward is the goal. Perhaps the route takes a zigzag, for example, when you learn that you can't tolerate a chosen therapy but at least you tried. In the era of COVID-19 we may be forced to reconsider options which would not be our first choice under different circumstances. I hope for everyone to achieve their most optimal health status, mental and physical, throughout this crisis and beyond.