voncloft, Welcome, but sorry you've joined us.

I believe that T2/N1 is Stage IIB. https://breast-cancer.ca/tnm-class/

I don't know what, if any, differences there are in the treatment protocols for men versus women, so unfortunately I can't offer any info about your diagnosis and treatment options. We do have one very active male member on the discussion board, Traveltext, who will hopefully see your post and may be able offer some thoughts about what's ahead for you.

And I'm sure the chemo (https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/69) and radiation (https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/70) forums will provide helpful information.

voncloft, sorry you find yourself here, but someone will help you. There is a Male Breast Cancer forum where many have posted, and Traveltext often replies. If you don't hear from him in the next day or so, use the Search feature on the left column and post in a thread where's he has been active lately or send a message to him directly. He has his own website also about male BC http://malebc.org/ All the best to you.

Hi there voncloft,I hope someone can answer your questions soon! I do see that you are grade 2, and that's good--meaning it's less aggressive than it could be, like grade 3. Stage IIB is also better than what it could be. So welcome to the club no one wants to join. I expect you're shocked and feeling isolated so join us here, gender be damned. We are here for you and hopefully can be a source of support. No matter male or female, a cancer dx is overwhelming, but it's also survivable, and you'll get through it.

There is a link here on bc.org where you might be able to read posts about other males with b.c and their experiences, but b.c is b.c. and we are an active group here, so I hope you'll be able to find information on all the boards here not just the male one.

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/51

Hang in there. It will be okay.

Claire in AZ

Voncloft.

As a BRCA-2 person thanks for getting testing Every person who gets genetic testing done helps all of us.

I like your humor that was a good one. Keep making jokes, we need to keep our medical staff on their toes.

=Victoria

I hope you don't need chemo; a lot of ER+ PR+/Her neg patients only need radiation and anti-hormonals.

I also kept my cool over my diagnosis. I was more, okay, let's take care of this. As a bonus for my stiff upper lip, I also got diagnosed with kidney cancer the same year. Yippee! A twofer! My voice may have been slighter fainter, but I still said "let's take care of it."

I'm debating between two shirts to wear to doctor appointments. You may want the first one. 😁

I'm always learning here that one size doesn't fit all, whether it's treatment or shirts!

I found the shirts on Ye Olde Googlenet. Type in "I'm fine shirt blood" (without quotes because Google gets confused easily) and a variety appear; maybe there are lefty-righty options.

Maybe we need a "ghoulish dark humor" thread. I had posted the shirt picture once before and some pearl-clutcher reamed me out for my insensitivity. Sweetheart, do not humor-shame me. I have at least nine substantial surgical scars just on my left side, from face, neck, breast, kidney, and hip operations. We all get to cope in our own way, and this is mine. Don't like it? Scroll faster, cupcake.

😈

Voncloft

Bled over. Heh heh.

Voncloft, my spouse and I made a bunch of gallows humor jokes all through my dx and treatment. EG about month four of my chemo tx, my husband was dx with a small bit of skin cancer on his ear, and had to have it removed. We joked that he got "sympathy cancer" for me. Humor can relieve a lot of tension from all the emotion of this (your life has been threatened) and it really drew us together-we were like a platoon of 2. One place I eventually found myself was a place of fierceness--and it helped. I got fierce about finding everything I could about my own dx, I got fierce about treatments for the particular type of b.c. I had, I got fierce in fighting back and not allowing myself to be reduced to a disease. No matter how crappy I felt, I made myself go to the gym, yoga, and hike as I always had before. It relieved tension, helped me believe that my life would go on in spite of the dx, and kept me on my regular routine which was a great comfort. Research proves moderate exercise relieves side effects from tx, so that was a bonus, and regular exercise also keeps us more protected from recurrence--another bonus.

Claire in AZ

claireinaz

It sounds like you had the same mindset I did - except I'm too lazy to be fierce. But all through my tests and surgeries and other medical stuff, I'd get out and hike in parks. It might have been the short and easy paths, but I did them! And I've never been a regular hiker. I was proudest of completing that favorite short hike about eight days after a total nephrectomy. All my post-boob walks had been good practice!

Oh Von - yes, we all want off of this ride. I certainly understand your saying... but maybe not.

I had a port and grew to love it. No continuing 'invasion' to my veins. I kept it for 3 years after chemo just for CT scans with contrast, etc. My rads were 30 weeks w/no boost. Many are only 25 weeks.

We'll keep you in our thoughts. Please do continue to check in.

Voncloft, the reaction from your parents is not an uncommon one. They likely want what’s best for you, but have no idea how to broach topics that concern them in a natural way. Perhaps you could talk to them and explain that, while you appreciate their concerns, you’d rather not have to discuss things in such a dramatic fashion.

As to your treatment concerns, my oncologist gave me some very wise advice when I was at your stage and freaking out about what lay ahead. She said: don’t have any preconceived notions about the effects of any stage of your treatment plan. So I didn’t and I breezed through eight months of intensive Neoadjuvant treatment: surgery, chemo, radiation, and hormone therapy. My side effects were very few, as you likely read in the link to my story that I sent you.

Keep us posted. You’ll get through this.

I didn't have a port, but they save nurses having to find a vein each infusion.

Perhaps someone here will explain the process.

From reading lots of posts here, and from friends who have undergone chemo - many keep working through treatment, perhaps with one day off for down time, which seems to happen a few days after infusion. There are some who get unpleasant side effects, but there seem to be more who don't. Browse around this site and you'll find the full range of reactions.

I was sort of lucky that my Mom passed away about five months before I started Cancerama. She was a chronic worrier, too, but she'd had breast cancer and Dad had had kidney cancer, and they both did well, so maybe she wouldn't have been annoying after all. But there were times I'd have loved to hear her voice.