STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Noni~I can say that sometimes that happens, and I am sorry that you feel that way. As if having cancer isn't enough. Everyone needs to be heard. My heart dropped reading your posting. I would never want anyone to feel that way. I am holding you close in prayer. Hugs ~M~

Hugs to you Noni (and your brainy girl).

I take a break from BCO from time to time. I have to force myself to do so, but it helps to take periodic "fasts" from online forums. I don't want to live in cancer world all the time. When I'm looking for specific information I use the "search" function and limit the posts; it makes it easier (sometimes).

When any commercial comes on about little "c" (like an advert for a drug or a treatment facility) I change the channel so fast I feel like I might break my hand. I resent being pulled from a place where I might not be thinking about cancer (it happens sometimes) to thinking about it because some drug co. wants to sell Neulasta or CCOf America wants my potential business.

My brother thinks the reason they haven't found a cure yet is because cancer is BIG BUSINESS. Think how many people would be out of work without cancer...medical oncologists, oncology nurses, hospice workers, radiologists and their support technicians, nurse navigators, cancer social workers, to name a few. Pharmaceutical companies would be out billions of dollars, and manufacturing facilities would have to shut down or re-tool for other drugs because palliative chemo would be a thing of the past.

It boggles the mind.

Wow. Good riddence to that MO. Glad your ps is awesome.

I don't get it either, Runor.

And, yes, good riddance, Artista 928.Problem is I still have 9 weeks of treatment left and I doubt anyone will take me until I am finished.

It is morning and a new day. I will channel this anger into something positive.

Thanks for listening.

Coach Vicky

Found it!

http://www.huntsvillehospital.org/palliative-care

Thank you.

Coach Vicky

Wow, didn't know you needed an rx for lash and eyebrow growth. I just used Latisse that I bought over the counter at my PS' office...I used it on both although it's supposed to be for lashes only. It worked, better on lashes than brows.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that your MO seems to have been poisoned with some over-reaching ego-power. Finish out the treatment and fire her. Look forward to that day, and it will get you through the next nine weeks.

My MO wrote me a prescription for Latise, when he did it he told me it would be expensive. He wasn't kidding, a one month supply which could be stretched to 6 weeks, cost $150.00 and insurance did not pay for it. I use careprost, it is Latise but the generic version. It cost less than 1/3 of the price. There are different websites you can find it on. Here is a picture.

Oh how the saga continues ....

Oncology Nurse contacted me. Evidently my MO contacted a colleague who "avidly uses Latisse in his practice." He is now convienced it is safe and I got the prescription.

I guess my MO doesn't belive Brooke Shields.

Coach Vicky

I went and met a specialist who deals with getting something to replace my lost, taken , cut away, removed, breast, in order to feel some normalcy when I go out into public in my clothing. Nothing hung right with one foob. It was so ugly and still is. Talk about being left deformed, the surgeons take our parts and what actually happens to them?. All I can tell you for sure is that it is really gone, I know some people don't have operations at stage four unless it's for pain reasons. Or necessity. I had surgery. A lot of it. And my front looks like a road map. I received a type of bra I wouldn't choose if I were 90 (not that I would mind being 90 one bit, don't get me wrong) but this, no one would want to wear. It doesn't feel pretty or even normal, like other bras could be. It has a slit in the one side where the gel mold slides into to form against your body. I am appreciative to have this, because if I am honest it does look a lot better with my clothing it being balanced. If you didn't know my story, you would never even guess, it looks that close. But it's fake. Not me, not mine, not anything but strange and uncomfortable and hot. Just like the freaking wig. (Although my hair is really growing back good, I still don't feel feminine at all) Being fake is hard work. So.... after much soul searching. I am going to make an appointment with a plastic surgeon. I want to see if i can have one reduced, and the other one fixed. I don't need perfection. Just something that resembles a real breast. The reason I haven't done it, is because I have a great handle on my lymphedema and I'm scared to irritate anything in that area, because that shit hurts!!!! It's very slight now and I would like to keep it that way. But I need something to make me feel like I once was. I am desperate to find that person once again. I liked who she was. Who I used to be. I don't want to have cancer anymore. I dont even know if they will operate for reconstruction on stage four patients anyway. They probably feel like I won't be around long enough to even need it. I saw my chart the last time I went in for my blood work, which is something I have to do tomorrow again oh joy! And I was reclassified to stage III A, what the hell does that mean anyway? It spread to my bones, and was in my liver, that to me is certainly stage four. Their rationale for it was, we removed the cancer from your breast, nodes and liver, it only remains in a few places in your bones. That's why. Well.... um....ok.. but to me it's still stage four. Such stress ~M ~

Who knows anymore, I asked the nurses about it, they didn't seem to think differently. They were happy for me like, I wasn't going to have to be here every month until this medicine decides to take a shit on me, then I am forced to move to something else. Which will bring a new halo of side effects. It's a huge pain in my ass I'm sick of this dance. I want to change the song ! I know you all get it. Just frustrates me. Leave my chart alone. Geeze. ~M~

Venting: husband and I purchased a now non-refundable trip of a lifetime to do a raft trip through the Grand Canyon, coming up in less than two weeks (he's 74, has been hiking, working out, etc all his life). We depart July 9.

We didn't buy trip insurance because we were mistakenly told by our bank that our credit card had trip cancellation/interruption insurance. Total trip cost $5200.

Last week husband went in for a routine checkup and was told by his PCP that he has atrial flutter (he's been asymptomatic, but yes, he does have it, it seems). My husband said he "felt like he fell off a cliff" when he heard that dx because he's been in tip-top health mostly till now. I guess we all know how THAT feels.

His cardiologist ordered a battery of tests and hasn't cleared him for the trip yet-we have to wait till the 5th to even get the test results. He's had an EKG, two ECGs, and a stress test that put him in AFIB for a min at the end; luckily his heart self-corrected--they were going to call in a doctor! He will need an outpatient procedure to shock his heart back into normal rhythm which apparently has great results--90-95% success. Sadly he can't have it before we leave because he has to be on blood thinners for at least three weeks prior to the procedure.

We called our credit card to find out how we might file a claim yesterday and found out that we DON'T have trip cancellation insurance. And it's too late to buy any. We filed a complaint in person at the bank but if it's too dangerous for him to go, then we are out $5200. And I have a husband who's been my rock that now has a heart condition.

Angry, sad, scared, anxious. Feel like I'm sitting in the middle of a minefield with no real safe direction to go.

Claire~ I would file every complaint possible. Idiots. You just can't believe anything these companies say anymore. Don't give up, keep on whomever told you that you had insurance with your credit card. Dispute the charges, whatever you have to do. Such bullshit!

Mae~ I know I was left scratching my head. In my mind it's stage four and that is exactly what I say I am. Another word was brought up that I have to research now that he said was Oglomestasis, (my spelling leaves a lot to be desired I am sure) in the bone. So I have some things to learn still. I will just continue to fight my rear end off! In my mind even though they removed it from my liver and nodes and my breast, it still had spread, that said my definition is completely stage four. He said he has seen bone mets dry up and disintegrate because of this medicine. I hope that is the case for us all. But trust me I still know what I am. It just annoyed me that they would even bother to restage me, when we know what's going on. It's crazy talk. I just ignore the stages anyway. In my mind I believe once the cancer is in your body, it's there dormant , until the next perfect storm comes along to stir it up again. But that is completely my opinion and I truly wish it wasn't that way. I want a cure to be a cure for us all. Hugs ~M~ Sorry about the double post. My computer was acting up again.

Micmel, I was diagnosed as a stage IV oligometastic patient, I call it stage IV lite. Mentally, if might be nice to be considered a lower stage but financially a change like that would ruin me, as I would no longer be able to medically retire and SSI disability would be a battle to get. I agree though, we know what we are and that cancer lurks in dark places waiting to jump back out at us 😡