STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Thumbs up, Micmel!

And sometimes we have to pick our battles. I STILL have problems with DD...for example, yes, she did her laundry, but she left the basket of clean clothes in the TV room on the hassock for about a week. I didnt say a word. I figured, "When she runs out of underwear, i guess she'll come empty the basket."

DH doesnt clean the stove top to my standards, but hey, at least he does the dishes. I'll keep him 😇

Mimi~ my heart breaks for you. I am so sorry. Please accept these virtual hugs and comfort, I have no words for something like that and I feel is the worst part of living at all. Please know you're in my thoughts and prayers. I know my mom has been sick for months now. She lives far and I can't see her. I am sending you my love and hoping that there was no suffering involved. God bless you and your family. I am deeply sorry. Deeply. Hugs ~M~

Lita~ good advice on picking battles. I agree. I hope that you're having a good day today. My son has ran out of underclothing before and that has prompted movement. For laundry. It has always sounded like you have a good DH Lita. That makes me happy. Hugs ~M~

~Oh Mimi~

I am so sorry about your mother. Please accept my deepest condolences and know I will keep you in my thoughts. I know how hard this is.

I hadn't been able to see my mother while I was in treatment because she lived 1500 miles away. I went home in August and spent two wonderful weeks with her. She died 3 weeks later.

Mimi, you have my deepest sympathies.

Thank you all for the condolences. Last week the doctor told us she had pneumonia and congestive heart failure, her body wasn't able to process all that fluid, and he said she had probably about a week, and he was right, it was 8 days. She went in the best way possible, went to sleep, as her breathing slowed down, until it finally stopped. It was her time, she had no kind of real life these past few months. My head knows this, but my heart just can't accept it yet. She was my mom! I was her baby, the closest to her, and the most like her, which is a compliment, because she was a wonderful person. I can't believe I'll never see her again. And of course it's most difficult at this time, I didn't tell her about my new metastatic dx. I had to start my 2nd cycle of Xeloda this morning, and I so didn't want to do it. And it's also very difficult, being alone, the only divorced one. All of the family, siblings, children, nieces and nephews, are all married, so they have a spouse for support, I'm the only one going home to an empty house. Looks like the funeral won't be until the 19th, so I have quite a few days to suffer thru before putting her to rest. Thanks for letting me vent, for listening, and for the sympathy. I know many of you have been thru this.

Mimi~ I am so sorry. I can hear the emotion In your words. I am truly deeply sorry for your loss, there are no words ever. Especially when it's your mother. I hope you find peace somehow knowing you have an angel above who is earning her wings wtching over you and those she loves. And yes I say loves. Because she's still with you. Everywhere. I'll be praying for your family! ~M~

Got to vent. I had dinner last night with a friend I hadn't seen in quite a while, and I shared with her my recent dx of generalized anxiety disorder dx, made worse at times by the Aromasin I have to take. I told her over dinner I have to guard against anxiety and anxiety making topics, and she proceeded immediately to share a story with me (prefacing it first: "I probably shouldn't tell you this") about the spouse of a friend of hers, who has just been dx with some kind of c (the spouse had bc and got tx years ago for it; my "friend" didn't have any more information about what kind of cancer it is now. She said uterine; however, I heard this same story from this same "friend" about this same person about 7 years ago; I don't know what to believe anymore from her, just that she's heartless, I guess).

What is wrong with people? When you tell them that you are suffering from anxiety and they know you're often worried about recurrence or new development, they immediately launch into some awful story like this? With friends like that, who needs enemies? I guess that's why they call them "frenemies". It happens a lot to me. I am very careful who I tell my history to, since so many people want to say "Oh, my sister/mother/friend/aunt/ had b.c., and she died".

Just had to vent because I was the one who contacted her (friend)--she lives alone and just retired, not by choice, and I felt some compassion for her because I thought she might be lonely. Now I'm just shocked again that people can be so cold and heartless when you've trusted them. Thanks for listening. People are freaking stupid.

Claire

Or to give you unsolicited Dr Phil and Dr Oz type of advice. My fam is like this which is why only my bff and bro know because they aren't.

A good cancer patient! What the H is that, be subject to brutal treatment but smile through it. I wouldn't let anyone give that nonsense either. Especially my husband.

Macb, good for you for getting to the point to stand up for yourself and demand respect! Each day I am flabbergasted by hearing stories like yours, about family members and friends, saying the most awful things. I can't believe how selfish and uncaring people are to their own loved ones. Boy would things change if it were them with cancer.

Lita, interesting about CTC of America, those commercials drive me nuts! They make it all sound so warm and fuzzy, and like every cancer patient has wonderful supportive spouse. UGH

Cancer Centers of America will not accept any government insurance... even Veterans. They only accept "private insurance."

Coach Vicky

I had a visit with cancer center of America and I have Medicare. I would think if they didn't take the governments insurance, they would be losing out on money. I don't think that they are in the business Of losing money, especially since they can slide the scale of what they charge to Medicare. I never received a bill from them ever and I went there for my second opinion. I don't have any other insurance either. They told me that my oncology department here was giving the me treatment that they would have given me. Since my care here is local, they recommend I continue treatment here instead of traveling over an hour each week or more in some cases. That would be awful if hey didn't take the most common insurance for senior citizens. What a blow that would be. I'm interested in this now. Research time!! Have a great week! ~M~

I HATE THOSE >,+%,+~~ COMMERCIALS!!!

Whew. Ok. Hope all are properly vented.

Hey B

I'm sorry for your frustration but totally get it, I've been a newbie lost in a fast moving thread myself. In some cases, I feel like I barged my way in to a conversation until I was better known, lol

It's a very busy forum because unfortunately it's a pretty common disease we are navigating which never has an end date.

Tips: Don't post in threads where there hasn't been action in a long while. Those folks from awhile back are most likely no longer posting. If you are unsure where your thread should go, choose what you think is the right forum. If it's not in the best place, the mods are being helpful by saying this would receive more attention if posted in this forum type info. Use the favorite function. That's the best thing is you can do is have a list of threads that interest you including the ones you post. I have a very long list on my favorites starting from when I was first dx'd and on. I've kept them all to refer back to. If you still feel lost with it, add the email notification to it so you get an email when someone has responded in the thread.

We don't know just how good we have it in terms of the massive info and various forums on an active board like this. When my friend's sister was dx'd with pancreatic cancer, I could not find a forum like this with such details. How sad is that. Majority of us get most of our tips and info from here, not from docs and other medical personnel because they don't know like we in the trenches do.