Life does not end with a stage IV diagnosis (really!)

Stef, Aubrey is adorable!

And artist, your family photo is absolutely gorgeous! Is that your daughter and her fiance? (You said middle daughter, so just wanting to know who's who.) Both of your girls and you have the most beautiful, healthiest looking hair! Must have something to do with the clean mountain air & water in Tahoe!

Nancy, glad you're getting some traveling in.

Artist, you look like one of daughters' sisters. How do you stay so young looking? I swear, cancer has aged me about 10 years already.

Nbnotes. Great picture and great trip. Enjoy every minute

Stefajoy. Your dd is a beauty and she looks like she's full of personality. I hope you share many more birthdays and special times with her

Artist. Great looking family. Enjoy all the wedding planning and hupla. It's both a great joyful and stressful time but sooooo worth it!

Babs

artist ~ please know that you will be on my mind today as you scan and here is hoping but nothing but good luck on everyone's scans this month or heck this year even!! I will be praying for you and imagine us all standing there waiting for you and holding your hand. Gentle hugs. Root canal. Yuk! ~M~

thanks micmil, It really does help me to think about all of you when I do these scans. I think "look at all these wonderful women who are hanging tough and dealing with this crummy crap" and I really do feel the vibes come through. It's calming in a stressful situation.

Thanks Divine! I enjoy seeing everyone else's families so much I bought it was time to share mine. I hope she has the wedding by next Spring at the latest and that I feel well and still have hair for the pictures! Oh the little vanity things!

(((((micmel))))) Hope tomorrow is better

Micmel, I hope you are able to get out and take a walk and get out into nature. I find it relaxing and restorative. It is tough learning of another's passing and the sadness their families are dealing with. Yes, it is unfair.

I allow myself to grapple with those feelings and give thought to them. It is a way to honor the passing of someone special to us. And then I resolve to not allow cancer to determine my daily emotional status. I won't let it be the bigger of it and me. I put those issues in an imaginary box, picturing something small like a photo box, put it on the floor and stand above it in my mind. When necessary, such as when I have dr. appts. and dealing with loss, I open the box and deal with these matters. Then I put it all back in the box and put it away.

Yes, bc is part of my life and I am reminded of it daily, but I had to find something deep down inside me to help me cope, and if I didn't find what I needed, I had to create it myself. A little at a time. Sometimes setbacks. But always moving forward.

I am currently reading "Option B" by Sheryl Sandberg, FB ceo. I highly recommend it. It is about learning to deal with adversity, tragedy and trauma.

My best wishes for you.

IThis is what I would like to be doing and feeling carefree and feeling the breeze in my fur. How adorable is he? Shaggie is feeling fine on the family boat, wish I was a dog sometimes. Not really understand things. Always wagging and sleeping with no responsibilities other than making your owner head over heels for you, which we are! Hugs ladies ~M~

I'm happy to report my daughter graduated from high school last weekend. We had a lovely time with friends and family who traveled from California and Arizona. It snowed, as it always does here on Memorial weekend, but I am so proud of my DD, and look forward to many, many more milestones in her life and mine. This weekend, we celebrate my sister's 60th birthday. So many good things still to embrace in life. Joy, peace and love.

Thank you, M. I plan to squeeze every second out of life that I can! My best to you.

Barbara

Congrats on your daughter's graduation. Celebrate and enjoy every milestone possible

Babs

I am desperate for someone to lift me up. I have a wonderful support system but nobody quite knows how this feels. I have stage 4 and it has just sunk in. I met with drs at md Anderson. This cancer is very aggressive. I have had several forms of chemo that has not touched it. They say a clinical trial is my best option. I had foundation 1 testing and seems I might benefit from a FGFR inhibitor. The oncologist that is filling I need for my normal mo, told me to take advantage of every day. I agree this is true but I'm not ready to put one foot in the grave. I am 44 and have 2 precious kids 13 and 10. I need some serious help coping. I really need something to stop the growth of this horrible disease. I just keep praying!

well, that's part of my problem. I'm not her2 anymore. It seems to keep changing. Idk, I just need some kind of peace to come over me about this. I know it's life and life isn't always fair. I want to get to the point that most of you seem to be. Still enjoying your lives despite your diagnosis. I'm having a hard time getting there. Does anyone see a therapist? Tips on getting my head right

Dear Twirp26,

It is scary to be in Stage 4, especially when treatments don't seem to be working but I hope you will find a trial that will work for you so that you can have many more years with your children. As for the doctor's comment, "take advantage of every day"-maybe you could look at that as a guide for healing, rather than seeing it as "a foot in the grave." A book I have found very helpful is "Cancer As a Turning Point" by Lawrence LeShan. He is a psychotherapist who has worked with many cancer patients. He found that those who embraced life and started doing what they really wanted to do not only had a better quality of life but also somehow sparked their immune systems. There are exercises at the back of the book you can work through on your own or with a therapist. For me, cancer has been a blessing in that it helps me choose each day what I really want, not what I "should" want for small and larger decisions. I pray that you will feel God's peace and love at this moment, and throughout this journey of life.